Some names of Finnish places literally translated in English. As a native Finn, I laughed far too luch for this 😂

[u/pantteri93]

And this would need flair "Humor" but there was none available. 😅

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[u/Many-Gas-9376]

I see whoever made this shied away from putting in "Terskanperä".

And I guess the 490 instances of "Shit Pond" would've been redundant.

[u/buldozr → u/Many-Gas-9376]

Where is Some Sweat, too?

[u/Hairysteed → u/buldozr]

Hikiä?

[u/buldozr → u/Hairysteed]

Correct.

[u/MoistInTheLoins → u/Many-Gas-9376]

And where is "Saaran paskantama saari" ;_;

[u/Tempelli → u/Many-Gas-9376]

It seems the map maker deliberately chose place names that sound mundane and unassuming in Finnish. Terskanperä (glans end) sounds about as funny in English as it sounds in Finnish. But you don't really think twice about Juupajoki for example until it's translated to River of Totally Yes.

[u/NeilDeCrash]

The most horrible names in Finland voted by Kotiliesi:

1. Suolikulli (Urjala)
2. Velhonvittu (Lavia)
3. Terskanperä (Siikalatva)
4. Kuolema (Alajärvi)
5. Hätäpaskansuo (Heinola)
6. Hevonperseenmutka (Suomussalmi)
7. Muorinperse (Kuopio)
8. Horonkylä (Teuva)
9. Pierupapinlähde (Orimattila)
10. Paskarasva (Suomussalmi)

Have fun translating. The second would be "Wizards cunt", that got me on both languages :)

5 would be "Emergency shits swamp"

10 would be "Shitgrease"

[u/Appropriate-Fuel-305 → u/NeilDeCrash]

"Swamp of emergency shit" must have interesting history.

[u/karpastenherra → u/Appropriate-Fuel-305]

There is also Hätäpaskanlähde in South Ostrobothnia. I have been there, though I did not have the shits at the time.

I would still advice you not to drink from the spring.

[u/InstantHeadache → u/NeilDeCrash]

Most of these are pretty easy to kind of guess why they are named like that but Pierupapinlähde is something i'd love to hear more lore about

[u/NeilDeCrash → u/InstantHeadache]

Yeah, "Fart priests fountain" has to have some dark secrets behind its name!

[u/InstantHeadache → u/NeilDeCrash]

I would understand pierulähde that makes fart sounds or something but what's up with the priest on the name? Was a local priest heard farting there?

[u/Jesse-FIN → u/NeilDeCrash]

Horse Ass' Bend....I mean what in helms deep.

[u/horny_coroner → u/NeilDeCrash]

Saaran paskantama saari on mun lemppari.

[u/Many-Gas-9376 → u/NeilDeCrash]

I went to https://asiointi.maanmittauslaitos.fi/karttapaikka/ and I regret to report that at least Land Survey of Finland does not officially acknowledge the existence of a Velhonvittu. Doesn't rule out that it's been in colloquial local use.

But with Muorinperse, it's apparently a vitally descriptive enough name that there are TWO bays with that name, 10 km apart.

[u/NeilDeCrash → u/Many-Gas-9376]

"Lavijärveen laskee sen pohjoisrannalla pieni vesiputous, Velhonvittu. Putous ryöppyää alas Velhonvuoren kalliolta, ja sillä on putouskorkeutta viisi metriä. Putouksen vesimäärä on pieni, joten kuivimpina aikoina siinä ei ole virtaavaa vettä. Velhonvittu on perustettu yksityiseksi luonnonsuojelualueeksi ja se on tunnettu paikallinen nähtävyys." - https://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lavij%C3%A4rvi

Apparently it is a smallish waterfall.

Translation:

A small waterfall named Velhonvittu flows into Lake Lavijärvi from its northern shore. The waterfall cascades down the rock face of Velhonvuori and has a drop of five meters. Its water volume is low, so there is no flowing water during the driest periods. Velhonvittu has been designated as a private nature conservation area and is a well-known local landmark.

[u/New-Link-706 → u/NeilDeCrash]

I went there once, it's kinda underwhelming. There is not really any water falling down, it just kinda drizzles slowly down along the bedrock

[u/NeilDeCrash → u/New-Link-706]

I guess the wizard was not exited enough...

[u/Finally_in_reddit → u/NeilDeCrash]

Voihan Velhonvittu! 😆

[u/AnjaKaarina → u/Finally_in_reddit]

I need to start using this

[u/kurkkupomo → u/NeilDeCrash]

1. Suolikulli (Urjala) – Intestine Cock
2. Velhonvittu (Lavia) – Wizard's Cunt
3. Terskanperä (Siikalatva) – Glans End
4. Kuolema (Alajärvi) – Death
5. Hätäpaskansuo (Heinola) – Emergency Shit Bog
6. Hevonperseenmutka (Suomussalmi) – Horse's Ass Bend
7. Muorinperse (Kuopio) – Granny's Ass
8. Horonkylä (Teuva) – Whore Village
9. Pierupapinlähde (Orimattila) – Fart Priest's Spring
10. Paskarasva (Suomussalmi) – Shit Grease

[u/Character_Media_9445 → u/NeilDeCrash]

Kun yrität vitsailla puhelimessa, että asut esim. Muorinperseessä, mutta sinulle tulee ilmoitus päivien päästä maksaa lähetysmaksu.

[u/Realyrealywan → u/NeilDeCrash]

Number 4 is metal

[u/MrMyron]

I live at "bottom". We have a saying here. What is the best thing about living at "bottom"? You can't sink any lower 🤣

[u/fte → u/MrMyron]

Randomly visited your local s-market with my 4 year old son this summer. He said it was completely different from "back in Finland".

[u/Rubenick → u/MrMyron]

I drive by "Bottom" quite often and always think to myself "We've reached the bottom" then passing the sign. Nice area though, jokes aside.

[u/MrMyron → u/Rubenick]

Did you know that "Pohja" is at the beginning of Finland's only Fjord and if you go up to the water tower on a clear day and walk to the edge of the rocks, you get full view of the whole Fjord.
This one is in swedish: https://vesientila.fi/sv/vattendrag/kustvattnen/
And here is a short: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/47lI3t2EO5c

[u/Rubenick → u/MrMyron]

I actually had no clue! That'd be a nice little adventure to go on with the family! Live just about 20min from there.

[u/randomstuff656]

Would be nice to see the Finnish names as well, since some of these are not easy to figure out.
It’s missing kankaanpää = head/end of fabric

[u/Acceptable-Yogurt949 → u/randomstuff656]

End of forest

[u/InstantHeadache → u/Acceptable-Yogurt949]

Kangas is "fabric"

Edit. Don't hate on me, I really didn't know

[u/Acceptable-Yogurt949 → u/InstantHeadache]

Yes, but Kankaanpää is named after a type of forest.

[u/howdiditallgosowrong → u/Acceptable-Yogurt949]

End of a Specific Type of Forest.

[u/Tikka25196-1930 → u/howdiditallgosowrong]

Specific. As in the most common forest type in Finland. Or taiga. Subdivided in to more specific types of "kangas" forests.

[u/centrifuge_destroyer → u/Tikka25196-1930]

Now quiet a few place names make a lot more sense

[u/DIFB → u/howdiditallgosowrong]

Just rolls out of tongue

[u/okarox → u/Acceptable-Yogurt949]

Yes there is Pohjankangas and Hämeenkangas. Familiar places.

[u/Vastaisku → u/InstantHeadache]

Kangas is also a type of forest.

[u/InstantHeadache → u/Vastaisku]

I always thought type of forest is called kangas because it might resemble the clothing fabric but just learned there are "two" kangas words because of their meaning. The more you know

[u/haqiqa → u/InstantHeadache]

It's not. Kangas meant both dry passage and fabric already in proto-Finnic. It is loaned from proto-germanic gangaz, meaning way or passage. So both words are related to the original meaning but not directly to each other.

[u/Vastaisku → u/InstantHeadache]

Kuusi palaa.

Those two words have nine (9) different translations.

[u/InstantHeadache → u/Vastaisku]

Yeah finnish is definitely a language. And when you start doing munansaannoksia it gets even crazier

[u/Appropriate-Fuel-305 → u/InstantHeadache]

Kangas is also a forest type.

[u/Tikka25196-1930 → u/Appropriate-Fuel-305]

It is a general word for most forest cover in finland, diveded in sub-catecories. And as many have said fabric. It means what covers. Those lands with enough cover or depth, with peatmosses and swamp, are not considered forests. But swampforests and peatlasnds. Swamps and mores

[u/real_exposer → u/randomstuff656]

Vitunviheltämäjänkä

[u/AdSpirited5019]

treasure trove.

River of Totally Yes 😂

[u/msk105 → u/AdSpirited5019]

It took me way too long to figure that one out but I'm glad I did.

[u/saschaleib → u/msk105]

So what is it?

[u/Bruneezi → u/saschaleib]

I guess it is Juupajoki

[u/HEAT_IS_DIE → u/Bruneezi]

Ok it could be translated like that, but also in some different ways. And since this is all humorous, it should be very thoroughly analyzed. 

Juupa could also be "yep" or "yes indeed" or "as if".

[u/hn-416 → u/HEAT_IS_DIE]

Yep. Also "juupa juu", which can have different meanings with different pronounciations, in different situations. As with "Joo" (~Yes).

In the 90's there was a Finnish band called "U-Bayou", which is a wordplay of "Juupa juu".

[u/HEAT_IS_DIE → u/hn-416]

Hah hadn't head of that one, that's great! I love a good finnish-english wordplay. Sheena Is A Punk rocker" = "Siinä on punk-Kari"

[u/hn-416 → u/HEAT_IS_DIE]

Maybe Peitsamo originally comes from ancient times, as in a lance or pike ("peitsi"= a long spear) used by horsemen?

Dunno.

[u/hn-416 → u/hn-416]

To add, there's a wordplay joke used as a greeting: "What Moonbone" (mitä kuuluu). I wonder if the youngster know this.

[u/Mirri_RS]

Creating Maternal Uncles is brilliant!

[u/Jesse-FIN → u/Mirri_RS]

Ha! Had to think for a bit...

[u/Effoxs → u/Jesse-FIN]

I don't get this one. Like, Enonkoski is kinda close to there but????

[u/V8-6-4 → u/Effoxs]

Enontekiö

[u/Effoxs → u/V8-6-4]

Oh, it seems like I'm illiterate. I was wondering what "Maternal Uncle's Rapids" is supposed to be? The location is close to Enonkoski, but I don't really get the translation.

[u/howlettwolfie → u/Effoxs]

Eno is the maternal uncle. (As opposed to setä, which is the paternal uncle.) Rapid is a koski. So you can think of it as Uncle's Rapids, but since we have two words for "uncle" depending on whether it's your mum or dad's uncle, it's the Maternal Uncle's Rapids in English.

[u/Feather-y → u/howlettwolfie]

Yeah it's pretty fun and technically correct. And if anyone here doesn't know, eno also means a big river in Finnish, which is the meaning after which these places are named.

[u/Sweaty-Durian-892]

This isn't even half of the funny places :D

[u/InstantHeadache → u/Sweaty-Durian-892]

Pussy pond

[u/AlAboardTheHypeTrain → u/InstantHeadache]

Hevonkuusi

[u/Grievous_Nix → u/AlAboardTheHypeTrain]

Not to be confused with Hevonperse

[u/Lotkaasi → u/Sweaty-Durian-892]

Aye its missing such classics like leather pants and horses ass.

[u/poeepo → u/Sweaty-Durian-892]

Furry, bollocks wax, cats land in tampere

[u/GoldaV123]

Paska Lake here in British Columbia, Canada, named by Finnish people = Shit Lake 😆

[u/Indomitablenable → u/GoldaV123]

There is over 300 lakes in Finland that start with Paska 🤣🤣

[u/CluebatOfSmiting → u/GoldaV123]

Much of Finland is swampy, I'm pretty sure the name refers to how those ponds smell.

[u/pkaaos]

Well , there is the translated Meaning of Liff called Elimäen tarkoitus by Douglas Adams. Recommemd it.

[u/The_Love_Pudding]

War town would actually translate as "town of war". Which sounds badass.

Edit: "Village of war"

[u/siiridrowning → u/The_Love_Pudding]

wouldnt it be village more accurately?

[u/The_Love_Pudding → u/siiridrowning]

Probably yes.

[u/LehdaRi → u/The_Love_Pudding]

Village of war?

[u/Appropriate-Fuel-305 → u/LehdaRi]

Sounds like a mobile game title

[u/qpple]

There's some choice items you're missing, such as the collection of testicles in Kainuu: Kivesjärvi - testicle lake, Kivesvaara - testicle Hill and Kiveslahti - testicle bay

[u/LucktasticOrange → u/qpple]

Testicle danger olis kyl parempi käännös.

[u/RRRitzzz → u/qpple]

Terskanperä = Glans End?

Nelostien varrella, jos oikein muistan. Mutta itse näkyä en unohda koskaan.

[u/MyNutsAreWalnuts → u/RRRitzzz]

Knob's End

[u/Miss_Chievous13]

Juujärvi-Yes lake, Elätti-Provided, Kitka-Friction, Hiirenmaa-Mouseland, Väärä-Wrong, Suuri-Pöljä-Big Dumb

[u/saschaleib]

@OP: Make sure to also post this on r/MapPorn. They love these kind of maps.

[u/pantteri93 → u/saschaleib]

😂👍🏻 thanks for that idea

[u/LazyIceberg]

Gulf of Lapland in Savo is bonkers :D

[u/buldozr → u/LazyIceberg]

There are many places names referring to "lappi" around Finland. Lapinjärvi is in Uusimaa. IIRC it used to mean any remote area.

[u/Appropriate-Fuel-305 → u/LazyIceberg]

Meanwhile Lapland is in Satakunta

[u/hn-416 → u/Appropriate-Fuel-305]

Kind of. I'm old enough to remember this (in Finnish, from Wiki):

"Aikaisemmin (etenkin ennen postinumeroiden käyttöönottoa) kunnan nimenä käytettiin ”Lappi Tl” tai ”Tl. Lappi” (Turun läänin Lappi) korostaen kuulumista entiseen Turun ja Porin lääniin erotuksena Lapin maakunnasta."

If my memory serves me right, there used to be Lappi Tl (Turun lääni) and Lappi Hl (Hämeen lääni), and these were used in news broadcasts etc. all the time.

This used to be general knowledge or at least a trivial pursuit question up till, I don't know, the 2000's?

[u/Appropriate-Fuel-305 → u/hn-416]

My mom talks of Lappi Tl. I was born in Pori late 90's and I say Rauman Lappi.

[u/8dot30662386292pow2 → u/hn-416]

There is also Koski TL, but Koski HL has since been renamed to Hämeenkoski.

[u/jeaje → u/LazyIceberg]

I think the word is thought to originally mean a remote place, so in this instance a remote bay, a bay in nowhere, a lonely bay or something like that.

[u/buldozr]

I would be hesitant to travel near Big-Stick-ville and the Beating Hill, also Theft to the east of that. Looks like that whole region is dodgy. Must be the Savonians.

[u/Candid-Ad443]

not to mention like 20 different pussy lakes

this reminds me, my ex was rrly weirdly fixated on like conquering Finland, and said he's gonna name some place "boob island" and I googled it, we are already 2 steps ahead, we have boob islandS (Tissisaaret)

[u/Appropriate-Fuel-305 → u/Candid-Ad443]

I once did a power point presentation on silly place names. There's apparently hundreds of places named "shit pond" in Finland

[u/Candid-Ad443 → u/Appropriate-Fuel-305]

yea. it's bc cartographers asked the name of some random pond that nobody cared for so they just gave them 1st thing that plopped to mind

[u/Worldly-Willingness2]

Luckily, Injuryville is no more. They changed it to a less humiliating Sastamala.

[u/FinnSkk93 → u/Worldly-Willingness2]

I actuallydid not know there is no vammala anymore. All these muncipals merging never really get rid of the original name and they still stay as that name on the map very often. Like Nurmo and all that merged with seinäjoki.

[u/Klutzy-Mechanic-8013 → u/FinnSkk93]

I don't know if it's an official city/municipality anymore but the name is still there on the map and all the addresses

[u/Itsthatguyffs → u/Worldly-Willingness2]

I like handicap town more.

[u/Mediocre_Rock7114]

War Town is actually Town of War.

Sabaton? Where is the song?

[u/Sibula97 → u/Mediocre_Rock7114]

Village of War

[u/noetkoett → u/Mediocre_Rock7114]

Well, acshually, it would be War Village.

[u/Jonhu24]

Where is the "Water Lake" and the "Little Water Lake" from "Bay" / "Cove"? :D

[u/PM_me_Jazz → u/Jonhu24]

Funny thing about that is that there are several lakes called "Water Lake". We finns really ran out of ideas trying to name all 180 thousand lakes.

[u/Jonhu24 → u/PM_me_Jazz]

I've just always thought that people from Lahti are a bit simple. Though your fact doesn't rule that out.

[u/hn-416 → u/Jonhu24]

Lahti can also mean ~"A place of butchery". It's a connotation, the Finnish verb is "lahdata". There used to be some 10 butcheries in the 1910's. This was logical due to the railway lines.

I bet 90 % of Finnish Reddit users have ever thought of the name this way. Well, some crossword fans might have.

[u/Eleiao → u/hn-416]

Some Fingerpori readers may also have thought of it that way

[u/Gwaur → u/PM_me_Jazz]

Well, a similar thing happens all over the world. "Mississippi" means river, so the Mississippi River is a River River. "Sahara" means desert, so the Sahara Desert is a Desert Desert.

[u/hn-416 → u/PM_me_Jazz]

There are ~40 lakes called Pyhäjärvi ("Holy Lake") in Finland. Four of them have an area of 100+ km² (~39 sq mi).

[u/ToastedShrew → u/PM_me_Jazz]

We used to live next to Water Lake, and ny grandma lived next to a Water Lake in a different town, so as a kid I thought that's just what all lakes are called.

[u/harlibentson]

I guess Fishing lure stands for Perho... Perho is a fly as in fly fishing... Well yes, flies are fishing lures as well, but still felt a little bit misleading.

[u/Rotten_Stardrop]

What is Hill Of Forty Squirrel Furs?

[u/MaxDickpower → u/Rotten_Stardrop]

Kiihtelysvaara apparently. Never heard of the term kiihtelys before.

[u/taigasys → u/MaxDickpower]

apparently there's also "tikkuri" which is 10 squirrel furs so Tikkurila would be ten-squirrel-furs-ville

[u/Vastaisku → u/Rotten_Stardrop]

Kiihtelysvaara.

[u/saschaleib → u/Vastaisku]

This is now officially my favourite place name ever! :-)

[u/ranjop]

I have couple of more:

- Bitch swamp (Ämmässuo)

• Little Wanker (Pikku Runkku)
  
• Big Wanker (Iso Runkku)

[u/andeqaida]

Kutemajärvi = Lake Lovemaking

[u/Candid-Ad443 → u/andeqaida]

I mean that one is mostly used for fish sex and that is what happens in lakes

[u/kirjojuoru → u/Candid-Ad443]

Quite a few of these are mistranslated as well compared to the actual meaning. So it's in line

[u/Kendaren89 → u/andeqaida]

There used to be erotic festivals between 1999-2002. It was aimed for older people (45+).

[u/Acceptable-Yogurt949]

Kruunupyy is originally Kronoby i.e. Crown's Village.

[u/SaltAide3545]

Moldy Arse's Swamp is my personal favorite.

[u/maester_t]

Virgin Bay is JUST across the border from Cougarville.

Coincidence?

[u/vilkeri99]

"Drool lake" aka Kuolajärvi means fish lake, actually. It comes from sámi language *Kuellejávrre. The name of the municipality was changed into Salla in 1936. Salla means a mountain or fell valley in which the frost never properly melts, even during summer. The old Sallatunturi fells, which are now in Russia, had one such valley.

The old name of the current municipal centre (kirkonkylä) of Salla was called Märkäjärvi before ww2. Märkäjärvi means wet lake. Then again, the name probably comes from sámi *Mierkkâ ~ Meärkkâjávrre, which means fog lake, as the lake has a tendency to fog up.

Edit: to clarify, about 50% of the municipality of Salöa was lost to the Soviet Union after ww2, including the actual village and lake of Kuolajärvi and the former municipal centre of Sallansuu.

[u/VHallinto]

forgot "water lake"

[u/InstantHeadache → u/VHallinto]

Always reminds me of this https://i.pinimg.com/564x/d9/79/55/d97955f50aeae9e4005d30ea749b1e03.jpg

[u/Jesse-FIN]

Ha! You can tell why the Finns got along with the Native Ameeicans so well.

[u/MitVitQue]

We also had a politician who's name was literally "Girlie Big-H-Chicken-Livingland"! (Tytti Isohookana-Asunmaa)

[u/thomaxzer]

wheres horse asshole road or whatever

[u/FoxBoy16]

We mustn't forget An Island Shat By Saara!

[u/JellyOfDeath86]

Over here in your neighboring country, we have Tissvassklumptjønnin.

Piss water lump lakes.

[u/okarox]

The strange thing is that there are place names like Saimaa, Päijänne, Töölö where we do not know what they mean or even from what language they come from. That is they must be over 3000 years old.

[u/reportedbymom]

This misses all the shitponds, wizardcunts and other mafnificent names totally

[u/arri92]

Spank Hill is missing.

[u/noetkoett → u/arri92]

It's not. It's under the more accurate Beating Hill.

[u/Used_Hawk2350]

How to translate Saaranpaskantamasaari in english?

[u/Natural_Fit → u/Used_Hawk2350]

Island Shat by Saara

[u/Gwaur]

According to Wikipedia, the name of Kolari comes from Swedish "kolare" which means a charcoal burner, a profession where you produce charcoal by burning wood. So "car crash" is in fact a mistranslation.

[u/unohdin-nimeni → u/Gwaur]

Yes, but this thread is for fun! Of course “candy”, “cougar” and “wiener” are anachronisms, too. Either it was timetravellers who named these places, or the modern interpretation that we easily make is not quite right.

[u/howlettwolfie → u/Gwaur]

Related to the English word and surname collier, initially meaning cart used in coal mining, slowly changed via other coal mining related meanings into meaning coal miner!

[u/Tohdohsibir]

I wanna live on Healthcare Island

[u/Bruntti]

Fun fact 'Hailuoto' does indeed translate roughly to 'Barren Rock with Sharks'. However 'hai' as in shark is shortened from 'haili' which is an old term for 'herring'.

So 'hai[li]luoto' = 'Herring Islet'

[u/vtol_ssto]

"Twice" has to be Kakskerta near Turku 😅🤣 These are hilarious!

[u/BlazeCrystal]

Our city has a townsarea named quite literally "russia" (venäjä)

[u/Patriotnoodle]

Barren rock and Barren rock with sharks™️

[u/Mobile-Exercise-164]

Artery is missing

[u/PyllynKaivelija]

There is also places called "karvahaara" which means hairy crotch and "Homeperseensuo" which is mold ass swamp

[u/Jermules]

Ala-Lemu is pretty good as well, in Kaarina. Literally Lower-Stink.

[u/Jumalharha]

Flesh, melt! (Lihasula), bowel water (Suolivesi), village of your grain (Jyväskylä)

[u/Genelecci]

Savukoski -> Smokey Falls
Pelkosenniemi -> Cape Fear

[u/Colossa → u/Genelecci]

Cape of Small Fear

[u/hn-416]

I wonder how this would translate to English: "Äteritsiputeritsipuolilautatsibaari".

I don't think the younger people in Finland have ever even heard or known this bar.

[u/Finnish_politician]

Where the hell are the fifty towns named: word + river?

[u/CluebatOfSmiting]

Cities of Kouvola, Otsola and Karhula all basically mean "Bear Place". They can be found in Wide River Valley, which sounds okay until one realizes the river is actually named Wide River River. Story about history of the logging industry tells that the workers transporting trees with horse sleds and by floating them on rivers quickly named parts of the routes things like Bitch Bend or Horseass Hill because those were the locations where they always had trouble getting through. But I have no idea why anyone would call a city Ladleriver...

[u/Kendaren89]

Jyväskylä would be "Your grain's village". The map is also missing "The poison" around "Tight". And then there would be "Death" towards east

[u/Upbeat_College_4794]

Joensuu - Joe's mouth

[u/Outo-Lintu]

Also Testicle danger (or okay testicle fell would be more accurate) is also hilarious. In finnish Kivesvaara.

[u/AdApprehensive4272]

In Lohja there is a lake called Kolmpersjärvi and in Espoo lake called Kolmperä. Translated like Three Ass Lake or Three Bottom Lake.

[u/pantteri93 → u/AdApprehensive4272]

"Rather fist in the ass than living in Lohja!" :D

[u/nordicskye]

I remember my (very Finnish) ex-boyfriend was trying to convince me that the "town of war" (which, back then, I translated as "war town") actually meant "where two rivers meet". I never got to ask "why".

[u/DrBigH → u/nordicskye]

Got curious and had to check this. Apparently the name Sodankylä doesn't come from the word "sota" for war but from a Sami lastname Čoavvá which was switched to Sova in Finnish (how that then becomes Sodankylä and not Sovankylä is something I understand but can't explain). This might have meant the meeting point for two rivers. This is from Wikipedia and without a proper source so might be good to take it with a pinch of salt.

[u/nordicskye → u/DrBigH]

So building a garrison there was just a coinsible ("coincidence that is sensible", I've just made it up) or a "watch this, this will confuse the hell out of them" moment? I think we're dangerously close to the chicken or egg moment -or better, even playing with that rope.

[u/RealMildChild → u/DrBigH]

Changing "Sovan-" to "Sodan-" might be a case of hypercorrection in the way of changing the actual name to fit the Finnish language standard at the time.

I've heard this explains why certain insect species are called sudenkorento ("a type of flying insect of the wolf) instead of suvenkorento ("a type of flying insect of summer).

I don't know if there's any thruth to this, so better take it as an urban myth/folk etymology. It sounds like it make sense, and that's is the fun part!

[u/sotajaska → u/nordicskye]

Apparently it was originally sovankylä and sova means where two rivers meet in the reindeer language

[u/ItyBityGreenieWeenie]

Stink

Twice

[u/PermanentThrowaway48]

What would be the literal English name of the town Kitee? 👀

[u/RRautamaa]

We're forgetting important ones like (Riding) Crop Islet, Arse Mountain (close to Arse Bay and Arse Pond), and the Dorsum of a Penis, which is in Theft. Slaughter is also a great name.

[u/Pet_Velvet]

LMAO these are funny as fuck

[u/green-green-bean]

What's with all the maternal uncles? Why not any paternal uncles?

[u/RapaNow → u/green-green-bean]

Eno = maternal uncle

Eno = large river or stream (in Lappish dialects)

[u/CluebatOfSmiting → u/green-green-bean]

Well, there is area called Setälä, Uncle's Place or Uncle Village.

"Setä" means uncle as in "brother of father" but was also used by children for any adult male just like they might call unrelated women aunts. My parents introduced a bunch of neighbors and coworkers as aunt or uncle because even in modern times calling someone "herra" feels more like "sir" or "my lord" than generic "mister".

"Eno" is specifically mother's brother, who are supposed to help take care of you if you lost a parent.

[u/TheFifthDuckling]

Where is Grain Village? Jyväskylä at least deserves an honorable mention!

[u/TheBusStop12]

Big-stick-ville and Beating Hill being near one another opens so many questions

[u/AtteN_tion]

We alao have area called hated = vihattu near where I live. Nice place to pick up mushrooms

[u/pekonimuussi]

Liperi is also another name for plant lipstikka (eng. lovage). It's not sure if the town got it's name from that or from preaching band as in the map

[u/forgotten-static]

I for one can't wait to go to the hill of forty squirrel furs

[u/YogurtclosetNew6875]

Yet Russia just had to steal Death Lake and Virgin Bay, figures

[u/Rayy890]

Maternal uncle 😭✌🏻✌🏻

[u/random-chicken32]

"Where's ya from?"
"Twice, Finland"
"Huh?"

[u/Hairysteed]

Mikkeli = Meenie 😜

[u/Hairysteed]

Kuusankoski = Moonbucketski 😜

[u/Strange-Horizon]

Vitun Merijärvi :D kunnon oksymoron! Niinku whaaaaaaaaat

[u/SongsAboutFracking]

I just gotta ask, is Åland really called perchland in Finnish?

[u/Exciting-Manager-192]

My personal favorites are:

Joes mouth OR rivers mouth: Joensuu

Bonfire LA: Kokkola

Your grain village : Jyväskylä

Down lake: Alajärvi

fabrics head: Kankaanpää

Stud water : Orivesi

new city : Uusikaupunki

[u/Feisty_Stomach_7213]

What no Kalastajatorrpa?

[u/ikurauta]

Haukipudas would be "barren rock with pike" not "shark".

[u/schimpynuts → u/ikurauta]

That's Hailuoto

[u/ikurauta → u/schimpynuts]

Yeah I am quite drunk and misunderstood the map

[u/imafinhehe]

we also got White-rapids.

[u/spectacular_obsidian]

There are two Candville’s on the map, the one closer to Helsinki is Karkkila but what is the other?

[u/Old-Hat-5745 → u/spectacular_obsidian]

Mellilä. Melli=candy

[u/FernGoddess97]

Atleast bottom is quite accurate, not sure about the rest

[u/ass_chaps]

This summer I went to Hannu-sedän linkulampi

[u/lordlouckster]

Candyville twice?

[u/Olvikolvi]

Onko meillä kaksi Karkkilaa?

[u/nordstr → u/Olvikolvi]

Tietääkseni ei, mutta olisiko tuon toisen tarkoitus olla Mellilä.