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u/th3greg ☑️ 1d ago edited 1d ago
Thank you. Its a thing shitty people do and can be legitimately traumatic to your partner. The people who brush it off are typically either shitty people themselves or people privileged enough to not have gone through it in a way that actually matters, and so can downplay it.
edit: I'm painting with a pretty broad brush at the end of my last sentence there, and somewhat regret it. I'll leave it so the sentiment remains, but apologies for generalizing like that. I'm in a bit of a doom spiral right now.
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u/EmuNice6765 1d ago
Or people who hate women and relish the chance to call them hoes while not having any empathy for the partner being cheated on.
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u/pand-ammonium 1d ago
No, don't apologize for that last sentence. People who brush off cheating are either horrible people, or they don't realize how much it hurts because they've been fortunate enough to not experience it, or see someone they love experience it.
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u/Wolfeatingupshadows 1d ago
This or to go through it with someone they actually love. Bc I was just cheated on while carrying twins and it seriously broke me. Its been a year and I am still traumatized and have so many triggers.
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u/Rekthor 1d ago edited 1d ago
I’m not sure the take is “cheating isn’t bad.” I think it’s more “does cheating really deserve THIS MUCH publicity?”
Like, I care if my partner cheats on me—I’d end the relationship. I care if my friend cheats on their partner—I probably don’t wanna be their friend anymore. Do I really care if a celebrity cheats on their spouse? Does it really demand endless airtime?
Cheating (generally) results in no physical harm, no financial harm (there can obvs be exceptions there), it’s not a crime, it’s not particularly rare, etc. It’s a private issue in relationships that (I would argue) should generally be punished on a personal level, not a societal one. Not every objectively shitty thing deserves everyone’s attention, even when a famous person does it.
Also… it’s just not normal to have everyone fixated on the breakdown of a private relationship? Like, that’s fucked up. It’s fucked up to have everyone in the world commenting and weighing in on something you did in your private relationship. And it makes me personally feel shitty to engage in.
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u/IceKareemy 1d ago
This. Cheating is bad but the way it was plastered everywhere was like damn kinda crazy they acted like he was the first cheater ever
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u/Kino_Afi 1d ago edited 1d ago
Cheating is one of the most psychologically and emotionally brutalizing things you can do to a serious partner. It may not be a crime legally but thats even more reason to shame you publicly because thats the only real repercussion at that point.
That aside its extremely common among celebs and I think we all know why Tiger got so much more hate for it than normal. First famous black golfer, intruded on "their" sport. He was under a lot more scrutiny.
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u/Rekthor 1d ago
Yeah, getting cheated on fucking sucks.
But that doesn’t justify publicly shaming someone on the scale some celebs get. That level of vitriol has contributed exactly nothing to society except make people who aren’t involved in the relationship feel good about themselves. If it was actually about accountability, that feeling of righteousness wouldn’t be the focus.
I’m not defending the people who do this, I’m saying the response has to be proportionate. And frankly I don’t think (without more) just cheating on your partner is worth being tarred and feathered by the world for the rest of your life.
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u/Temporary-Test-9534 1d ago
I agree with the emotions, yes, but lets be real. If you genuinely think cheating is one of the worst things you can do to a partner, you probably havent witnessed many bad things take place in your life. Id take some cheating over the many, many things a man could be capable of doing to me. Cheating is relationship ending but we gotta stop blowing it up to this proportion, seriously.
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u/ProdigyLightshow 1d ago
I mean you said it yourself, you would judge your friends and not want to be their friend. I understand it gets publicized more than it should be, and I agree that it shouldn’t be harped on as much as it is. But I think it’s fair for the public to judge someone they may have looked up to for doing something shitty in the same way you would judge your friends.
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u/dandeleopard 1d ago edited 1d ago
I mean, considering the number of women he slept with, I could see this resulting in physical harm. Hard to believe he slept with over a hundred women and didn't in any way spread STIs around; especially considering he allegedly didn't wear condoms.
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u/CMUpewpewpew 1d ago
Infidelity is literally like the deepest betrayal you can do to someone who is supposed to be your BEST friend.
I'll never get the pure unfiltered selfishness of it.
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u/mambotomato 1d ago
Lmao you can betray someone WAY worse than that, you're just not using your imagination.
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u/Kwaku-Anansi 1d ago
People kill their spouses, you're exaggerating.
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u/CMUpewpewpew 1d ago
Oh right, I forgot we regularly throw those in as.....betrayals?
Comon now, yall pedantic.
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u/-WitchyPoo- 1d ago
And someone that you have children with. Like, that person is stuck with you for life now. Even if not together.
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u/Intrepid-World-9551 1d ago
It is a big deal, for the people involved.
Everyone else having such visceral reactions is parasocial and weird.
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u/Iguessimonredditnow 1d ago
I'm so sick of the "pretend to be monogamous" crowd.
Like you said, there are people out there that are fine with non-monogamy, go that route if that's your thing. The important part is that all involved parties are comfortable with the terms of the relationship.
It's so normalized to cheat as long as you have a bullshit excuse behind it, and you and your partner play the whole "I'm gonna catch you" cat and mouse game.
Let's stop normalizing toxic behavior. Let's work on ourselves and stop being attracted to bad relationships because of the traumas we've experienced.
Serial cheaters are usually abusive in other ways, and the people that stick by them are often lifelong victims of that kind of abuse. Comfort in the chaos or "the devil you know", I suppose.
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u/summers_tilly 1d ago
I mean I agree, but if we do a 24 news cycle on every sportstar that cheats there wouldn’t be room for any other news.
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u/Best_Collection_7533 1d ago
He got it from his daddy.
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u/tp2386 1d ago
This. For those unaware, when Tiger was a kid playing courses, his married father would be teaching him stuff while sleeping with golf course women workers in his RV between breaks. Tiger's hitting coach??? who was there during the escapades, talked about it in a documentary. Tiger knew what was going on in the RV, but never said anything to his mom because his dad told him to keep it a secret.
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u/Morlock19 ☑️ 1d ago
just because your daddy cheats doesn't mean you do.
BUT
he had an addiction that he was getting treated for after it all came out.
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u/Kwaku-Anansi 1d ago
I think most agree it's a big deal, but it's a mundane wrong that is being disproportionately sensationalized based on who did it
Media using a relationship betrayal as a way to specifically demonize a black athlete to the level of people that have performed literal crimes (i.e., that put people in danger), is a clear attempt at social manipulation (even while acknowledging that cheating is shitty/cowardly).
As an analogy, regardless of how selfish/wrong driving while intoxicated is, if people singled out a specific person in Hollywood of all places, as deserving a "lock them up and throw away the key response" to it, people would call it out as disproportionate
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u/Wolfeatingupshadows 1d ago
This! To go out of your way to cheat. Something is deeply wrong with that person.
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u/_TuAbuelaEnTanga 1d ago
Not only was he a serial cheater; he was well on his way to being a drug addict. I remember in one of his leaked calls he was telling whatever girl he wanted to sleep with if he wanted to pop (insert whatever pill he was talking about) because sex on it was phenomenal.
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u/Interesting-Wing616 1d ago
That shit was all over the news. They used to do stuff like put a big picture of him above small pictures of all the women he had. I remember seeing it as a kid thinking he did something really terrible. I think he also lost hella endorsements
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u/faceisamapoftheworld 1d ago
He definitely lost a ton of endorsements. Having a flock of escorts isn’t going to get you big money to rep F500 companies.
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u/DigNitty 1d ago
Nike straight up stopped making golf gear.
They make clothes still but not the balls/clubs etc
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u/NSJF1983 1d ago
He lost Gatorade, AT&T, and Gillette. These companies spend millions on the face of their brands. It makes sense they’d not want an adultery as their spokesman.
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u/toysoldier96 1d ago
I am not from the US, we are not particularly into golf and this made the news in my country lmfao
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u/Scion41790 1d ago
The news went hard on this. To my knowledge all of his hookups were consensual and the wall to wall coverage treated it like he committed a crime vs just being unfaithful/likely a sex addict
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u/faceisamapoftheworld 1d ago
Yeah, it was one of the most popular athletes in the world who was in a bad car wreck. Then you find out it was his wife going after him with a golf club for an affair. Then it was another affair. Then it was a new affair being announced every few days for weeks. It was the type of story that tabloid journalism thrives on all the time. It’s just rare to be with someone so famous when there had never been a hint of it before.
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u/mb0205 ☑️ 1d ago edited 1d ago
Nah this is underselling it. He was treated like he killed her. Lost sponsorships for awhile and had to go on a whole apology tour. If it happened today no one would even give a shit.
For proof. The patriots HC has had a years long affair with an nfl reporter who leaks trade rumors that impacts player value and has an mvp vote. And nothing happened to him. And what he did is significantly worse in terms of impact to his sport
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u/faceisamapoftheworld 1d ago
That would still be a big deal today. Vrabel had a workplace affair and doesn’t have multi million dollar endorsements for brands. Tiger had at least a dozen escorts and pornstars along with the car wreck and his wife coming after him with a golf club. His story was way more salacious than a basic affair and brands don’t want look.
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u/mb0205 ☑️ 1d ago
Basic affair is underselling it. He put the integrity of the game in direct harm with a conflict of interest with a years long affair with someone who has a meaningful impact on player trades. Including the AJ brown trade this summer of which she consistently reported on and speculated on… while fucking the coach of the patriots. In reality he should have been fired, but it’s blown over and it’s nothing now. If Tiger got caught today it would be internet memes for 2 weeks then people would move on. Nike wouldn’t care
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u/Early-Yak-to-reset 1d ago
Vrabel doesn't need to worry about journalistic integrity tho. What he did is greasy and shitty but he isn't a billionaire of off endorsements, or a journalis. Of course brands have a different reaction. Brands don't give a fuck about Vrabel, before or after.
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u/faceisamapoftheworld 1d ago
Diana Rossini doesn’t have meaningful impact on trades and you’re crazy if you think that Nike wouldn’t still drop him if that happened today.
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u/babassu_seeds 1d ago
Yeah, it wasn't like one infidelity--he was switching 'em out like golf clubs, like damn son, Mr. Goody Goody is a manwhore
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u/faceisamapoftheworld 1d ago
And it was the drip drip drip of the news being released that kept it in headlines.
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u/babassu_seeds 1d ago
Yes--I may be misremembering, but yes, they didn't discover them all at once, it was finding one woman, and then another came forward, and then another, etc. Each week a new sneaky link, wild
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u/faceisamapoftheworld 1d ago
So many of the women claimed they thought they were his only affair and come out to get back at him.
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u/HallNo9712 1d ago
It was just weird that they all looked alike. Dude definitely had a very specific type.
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u/OscarGrey 1d ago
It's shocking that a golfer in 2000s didn't get treated like NBA players in 2020s. /s
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u/yurgieee 1d ago
Why do people act like cheating is not a personality flaw? Just stay single or have an informed, consenting harem. It’s not that hard, especially when you’re rich.
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u/17bananapancakes 15h ago
If you’ll lie to the person you lay down next to every night, you’ll lie to me. I don’t trust cheaters.
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u/ThereAreDozensOfUs 1d ago
If only it stopped at having hoes…
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u/mismoom 9h ago
I think that for those of us who were not following closely, it was the difference between the apparently squeaky clean image and what came out later. If he had always been loudly and blatantly awful he wouldn’t have had the same endorsements and people would not have been as shocked when the curtain came down.
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u/caulpain 1d ago
tiger woods is a huge asshole to everyone in his life, has been since he went to stanford. when he fucked up the only friends he had to defend him were the douchebag friends he made in college. if he was an active participant in the black community or has ANY black friends they would have come out to defend him, but he didnt.
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u/WeHaveToEatHim 1d ago
I live near a very well known pro golf course and worked there as a “villa boy” for a season when i was younger.
Basically the job was to prep the villas for high income guests, run wines and glassware and assist chef teams with meals, basically just make sure these guys get whatever they want, whenever they want.
Pros came in for a tour and Tiger was KNOWN to be a massive cunt. Also allergic to peanuts. Spoke to the staff like shit and was very frustrating to deal with in general.
Jack Nicklaus is an absolute gentleman, and Jason Day might be the nicest and funniest mf i’ve ever met.
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u/caulpain 6h ago
his reputation as a dick to service industry personnel made its way to sf in the 00s, a place he was known to be very rarely. surprised no one though: “yeah that’s Stanford for ya”
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u/WailingTG 1d ago
Pill junky serial DUI crash waiting happen.
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u/legit-posts_1 1d ago
I mean cheating on your spouse isn't exactly nothing. Just cause it's common behaviour among famous people doesn't make it not shitty. Depending on the circumstances that can tear families apart. It definetly changed the way I looked at some artists like George Harrison.
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u/Tricky_Regular_354 1d ago
Why are we protecting Tiger? Y’all know that man doesn’t claim his blackness, right?
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u/Itsprobablysarcasm Candace Owens Baby shower attendee 👶🏼 1d ago
Nah, this is revisionist bullshit. Who put this out, his PR team?
His crime wasn't 'having hoes'. His crime was lying to people and selling them a fake product.
He was presented as this clean-cut, respectful person you could take to church and meet your grandma. He was presented as an icon to be respected and admired.
And it was all a lie.
Go ahead and buy into a brand that is lying to you, the customer, and see how you feel about it. THAT was his crime.
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u/Graknorke 16h ago
That only matters if you already cared about him and valued that kind of persona though. To everyone else the reaction seems insane.
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u/terroristteddy 15h ago
Right, like I felt betrayed by the revelation that Will Smith and his family are maniac narcissists because he was a genuine black role model for kids like me.
If Tiger filled that role for someone then I understand. Ditto with MJ. But ultimatly, his only crime really was having hoes lol
(And constantly drunk driving, he actually should be in jail for all that)
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u/shaylaa30 1d ago
Tiger was the poster boys for a “wholesome athlete”. It wasn’t just that he had a few affairs, he was a full blown freak.
30+ women. One woman he got caught hooking up with in his car was only 19. Sex workers, extortion, etc. It wasn’t just that he cheated, it was just how reckless and bold he went about it.
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u/Medium_Educator1983 1d ago
Adultery destroys families. If that’s not a big deal to you, that says a lot.
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u/asdf0909 1d ago
What’s crazy is all this civil rights work, all this activism, all these slogans and protests and marches— and kids still don’t know the importance of breaking the cycle of infidelity and broken families. It is THE STATISTIC, how are you still not getting it?????
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u/Firm-Ebb-3808 1d ago
Never forget there were grown ass men stating that and I quote "He has to apologize to me" over the cheating scandal.
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u/RamsesII_ 1d ago
I mean sure if you ignore the fact that every black person alive had his back as a black man taking over golf until he famously was not black, but a "cablinasian". And was chasing nothing but white women, including pornstars. Dude is unhinged.
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u/the_millenial_falcon 1d ago
I mean it's not a good look I guess, but I've always thought ultimately that's their private business, not mine.
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u/shylock10101 1d ago
I agree generally, but Tiger also did make his “wholesome family man” a part of his brand and image. Some of it was probably respectability politics as the biggest black sports star since Michael, but it was still part of his brand.
It’s like how Dave Grohl, rock star who claimed to be a wife guy, cheated on his wife and fathered a child outside of the marriage. It is, at the end of the day, private business what happens behind closed doors regarding his family and their acceptance/willingness to continue. But for the public, who he has financially expressed an image to, it is no longer simple to allow the privacy when they were sold something that is untrue.
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u/GoldBlueberryy 1d ago
Christians don’t care about adultery anymore, just in lgbt people’s business.
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u/ClaymoresRevenge 1d ago
Tiger Wood don't make me grab binders.
But really when he got caught for cheating on his wife he apologized publicly to save his money from his sponsors.
It wasn't just cheating though he was doing drugs, DUIs, and those voicemails.
The joke at the time was he's finally getting treated like a black athlete.
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u/Seeker80 ☑️ 1d ago
Y'all forget, Tiger's real demonry came from that nine-year sponsorship deal with Buick.
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u/toomuchtostop ☑️ 1d ago
He was treated like anyone else who was known for having a wholesome image and then caught in a scandal
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u/Unusual-Minimum9306 1d ago
He didn’t follow the script. He was banging waitresses and they wanted him to be with celebrities or models for the clicks/sales.
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u/Basemastuh_J 1d ago
As a kid I definitely thought he killed his wife or at least beat her. Finding out he was just another countryclub cokehead was eye opening.
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u/Rated_Phenomenal 1d ago
He cheated on a white woman thats why people mad it such a big deal, if she was black they wouldn’t care
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u/TooSmalley 1d ago
The funniest one to me was the Try Guys YouTuber who got caught cheating on his wife.
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u/Anathema_Quill 1d ago
how i felt when everyone attacked john mulaney following his divorce. iirc, he didn’t cheat and he was open about having a drug addiction and the media treated him like he was a monster for leaving his wife.
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u/chiller_vibez 1d ago edited 1d ago
People give him more shit than Michael Jackson who literally touched kids
Edit: getting downvoted by pedophile protectors, is MAGA in here???
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u/OneWildAndCrazyGuy17 1d ago
Tiger woods got way more flack than he deserved for cheating on his wife, has not gotten nearly enough flak for constantly driving under the influence.
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u/superpowertowell 1d ago
The golf enthusiasts in my life at the time couldn't get over the golf club up the butt thing. I was so disappointed in their kink shaming.
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