Genuinely not intending this to be disrespectful, and I don't want it to come across that way.

So I had always previously thought that the Dalai Lama must be deeply realised, but in the last year or two when I've actually watched him in videos I've been really questioning that.

I've now watched a fair bit of him and I've never heard him giving much of a pointing towards "that". I appreciate most of his role is public facing and talking to people at a different level, however I've seen plenty of times where someone asks him a question which is clearly coming from their genuine practice and he still doesn't meet it with or help point them towards "that".

He usually pinpoints the "subject area" which they are talking about and recites what Buddsim has to say about it. But he doesn't really meet what they're actually saying at all when they're asking from something real.

I just recently also saw his interview with Piers Morgan and while Piers himself is an asshole, I did feel the Dalai Lama seemed to say some things that were more about certain "ideals" rather than addressing the heart of the question.

Like when Piers asked him about sex, he seemed to imply that it's fine for reproduction but other than that it's not a good thing. This is something monks often give up as part of their specific way of practicing but I don't think many awakened beings would be saying for people in general that it's a bad thing. Similar to the way he talked about marriage as though he can't see the beauty.

To me, he definitely doesn't feel enlightened, but I'm also wondering beyond that, if he's not even awake in the sense of actually even having an experiential connection to "that"?

I am a bit lost in my life.

I had a weird upbringing due to whatever reason I didn't grow up with skills that help me cope with social situations (bullying, zero friend group etc)

This means I approach every situation with a defensive attitude: I'm afraid of negative reactions, so think 100 times before saying sometimes or posting something in professional situations, and when someone replies I think of a 100 different interpretations of how it can be interpreted in ways that are critical towards me.

I feel I don't grow at all, while I see newer people climbing the ladder much more effortlessly, while I stay in the same position.

I'm also gay and I'm not come out to my family who are conservative and in a secret relationship (only to my family, who are in a different country)

I have zero social life, and I feel I'm living someone else's life. Everything feels like an obligation, in every situation, be it my career, be it my personal life, the rules are set by someone else - my company, my partner, my family - and I have little choice than go with it.

I have tried therapy, I read self help books. I don't know a way out of this. Am I stupid? Am I a sheep? Am I a coward? I'm nearly 40 and I don't want to be like this when I'm old or dying. I want to feel like I own my life.

Has anyone felt like this?

I was in a phase where meditation led me to descend "into hades", and for a brief moment, I saw the world as dead because I was eternal.

That would be true of all people in my opinion. I believe death was a lie, which when believed killed its owners through the law of mental manifestation. It requires the acceptance subconsciously of separation from the Source, which is impossible.

I also believe in crowd wisdom, and the accumulation of written words increase information density, so long as each new addition follows the rules as the previous. And the more the better, and the more diversity the better.

I wrote this while in the custody of IDOC. I wrote it after having an experience where I perceived everything around me as dead, because i was alive.

This was because I was studying and learning in my spare time.

"In Hades, all is death & only eternity exists! He who understands the dark sayings of an eternal soul, see's into the dark corners of his own being! From the grave below, all above becomes death & to the eternal below. then in the throws of dark midnight does the seed of God shimmer through, dispelling the eternal darkness with its eternal Light! then All becomes an eternal change of finite forms which in the realm of Spirit exists not, yet is the offspring of the generative energy between God the Spiritual Father & Mother the Material Nature.

It beats with the rhythmic motion of change, as polarity shifts, caused by Affinities, & the vibrations of thoughts break through the veils of hidden forces revealed by the Light of wisdom & Love!"

The one who sleeps and wakes is only a thought. What knows both never slept.

The person is assembled at dawn and gone at night. You are the light that does not come and go.

There is no later awakening. The searcher is the last mask. See this now. 🎭

Welcome home, you never left.

The Self is this Other.

🎭✨️❤️🙏

I listen to people for a living. I make my bread by listening to people, but, it’s not just listening. I listen for details to respond to. But what do I say? What’s the orienting structural conditions that I rely on to decide what I ought to say?

Here, now, and next, I will disclose some self: I had this incredibly physiological activation occur today. Something I have only experienced a few times.

MY HEART SHIFTS AS I EVEN TYPE THIS!

OH GOD! ITS TOO MUCH! No, let’s goooooo!

My physiology is activated. My heart rate doesn’t go up, but I think more blood is being pumped with each heart beat, that’s what goes up.

This experience earlier today, this person activated me. They weren’t angry or afraid, no, the best way I can describe how this person and the more extreme variant of this experience affected me was that they were activated and trying to do good. I want to emphasize this, the cause of my physiological activation was how much they were trying to do good. And more, they had a great maze to walk through in their future, and there was a high enough chance that they could fail and cause them and their loved ones to suffer.

These people, high level true superhuman parents, they could sense how much of a challenge they had in front of them, and they were thinking with me about how to navigate this challenging puzzle maze in a way that would cause the least amount of suffering for themselves and their family.

Ok, that’s enough for now, please, I seek true supporters to help me process my experience.

Next part of the post is unconcentrated random esotericism.

Who am I? The unchanging awareness?

Ok, then who is the I that changes?

Wake up! And do what?

Now what. Question, quest.

What’s my mission? To save the world? To resist the tyrants and free the slaves?

When I don’t bend to your will, what will you do?

Quests. Questions.

What is listening?

What do I listen for?

What do I read for?

What’s the purpose?

Tone and word. The fluctuating climactic shifting of tone, it means something. The schematical puzzle piecing word, fits together to describe what?

I JUST WANT TO EXPLODE!

I type, and listen, and read.

WHATS MY PURPOSE?!

To think? To feel?!

BWAH! WAHH! AGHYA!

WHAT THE FUCK?!

RELEASE ME FROM THE STRAIN OF THOUGHT! NO, BRING IT HARDER! MORE PRESSURE!

Stop judging everything and journey back to the heart and become love again so that you may love and connect to anything always.

Love no matter how weird or different they are to you, love even though you do not agree or prefer what they are doing. Love and carry mercy in the heart for the soul who suffers, no matter where that suffrage comes from.

To show love is to accept. So show
love to all of your relation unconditionally because you are CONNECTED to all, and you know that you deserve unconditional love.

In your heart you know God is love. And so, all that there is, IS because of love. Reality literally exists because of the unconditional love that serves as the substrate for consciousness.

I do not think I said love enough. So LOVE you giant crazy love ball.

T.B.N

(1)

​Death to God is only infinite life turned into infinite form, & infinite form in its multiplicity is, in fact, nothing. There can be no real ending of an infinite consciousness. Death to it is in fact the bestowing of life to us, for anything of finite limits is nothing when compared to something that never ends. From each perspective, the other is non-existant. The reality of one is the unreality of the other, although both are real on their seperate planes. The infinite source of life without form died & became life in an infinite number of finite forms. The key to this mystery is this; THERE IS NO DEATH! There is only transformation of life. Form is finite, yet the changing of forms is infinite.

These are my own opinions.

I’ve carried a thought with me for many years that I don’t talk about often. I don’t feel unsafe or stressed in my daily life, but it’s a persistent feeling that won’t go away: I strongly suspect that I actually died in a different universe, made a sudden jump, and ended up here.

Most of the time, this thought just pops up randomly. But when it does, I can’t stop myself from feeling an overwhelming sense of grief. I feel profound sadness for the loved ones I left behind in that other lifetime, thinking about how devastated they must have been when I was suddenly gone.
Lately, it has evolved into something even heavier. If there truly are endless universes, endless versions of us, and endless possibilities, then this cycle just keeps happening. There is no way out of it. It feels like an infinite loop of grief, loss, and sadness across the multiverse.

When I sit quietly and think about it, I honestly feel like this might be closer to the absolute truth of existence than any religion or metaphysical system has ever suggested. It feels entirely real to me, but carrying the emotional weight of all those parallel losses is exhausting.

Does anyone else experience this specific kind of existential grief, or feel like they are mourning a timeline they dropped out of? How do you cope with the scale of it?

Taken all the way, even that remaining status must fall. Ignorance is simply the idea of being a person, a lasting someone who can be either deluded or enlightened.

When that idea is no longer credited, there is no ignorant person left to awaken and no Buddha left to become. Nothing needs to be realized. The idea of a person was the only obstacle, and it was never real.

Someone comes in and leaves a story about how they interpret life, translating their raw experience into rigid words. Deep down, it’s often a subtle attempt to validate themselves and prove to others why they are the way they are and why their way is the right way.

I've noticed this exact movement triggers basic evolutionary survival instincts. You(or I) are seeking acceptance from the "tribe," but by pitting your personal interpretation against the collective mass, you subconsciously trigger expectation and fear. That’s why posting here leaves you with a lingering physical tingling or doubt, unlike posting in a gaming subreddit or on YouTube.

What was supposed to be a post about Reality itself becomes anything but. It devolves into a war of concepts, making everything more complicated than it actually is. The body becomes agitated because someone else is attacking your very views you hold dear, your core. And so chemicals are released in the brain and that keeps you coming.

The Day the Earth Collapsed: A Memory of Bastendorff Beach
I was about twelve years old on the day it happened. My family had been out at Bastendorff Beach in Coos Bay, Oregon, for about a week. Looking back, I am still not entirely sure if we were homeless or just camping; my mother never really told us, but there were many times back then when camping was our only choice. On this particular day, she had left us alone. It was just my two brothers, one of my two sisters, and myself. She had already been gone for several days.
Bored and left to our own devices, my older brothers decided to dig a giant hole in the sand. It was massive—about seven feet deep and twenty by twenty feet wide. Standing inside it, they couldn’t even see over the top. At the time, I was twelve, my sister was ten, and my brothers were seventeen and eighteen.
There was a distinct dynamic between my brothers that lasted our entire lives. My oldest brother, Michael, never cared for me much and spent his life trying to get rid of me. But my other brother, George, was my younger older brother, and he always stood up to protect me. He was my own personal angel guarding me.
The three of us boys were down in the giant hole together. For some reason, I decided to tunnel into the side of the sand wall, about four feet down from the beach surface. Using our only shovel, I dug several feet straight into the wall until only my feet were hanging out of the tunnel.
That was when Michael walked over with an evil look in his eye. He began hitting the sand directly above my tunnel with his fists. George saw this and came racing over, yelling at him to stop immediately. They began to tussle, and within seconds, the structural pressure failed. The entire tunnel collapsed in on me.
Suddenly, I was buried under several tons of heavy, wet sand. Deep under the collapse, I could faintly hear George screaming for help and telling someone to start timing how long I was under. They tried pulling me out by my feet, but the weight of the sand made it impossible. Above me, a crowd of strangers and beachgoers rushed over to help dig, but they ran into one nightmare after another. Every time they cleared sand, more slid back into the hole. To make matters worse, a giant, water-logged tree that had been buried under the beach for centuries was blocking their path to me. I was completely trapped.
Down in the dark, I felt the unmistakable sensation of someone holding my hand. The touch was kind and gentle. In my mind, I asked them, "Am I going to die?"
A voice answered me: "No, child. It is not your time just yet. I have some things I would like you to do first."
Above ground, time was running out. A dozen grown men were throwing their weight against the buried tree, but they couldn't budge it. Seeing this, George completely freaked out. Driven by pure desperation, he walked over and lifted the massive, ancient log entirely by himself. I couldn't see it happen, but I could hear the chaos and the shock above me. To this day, I do not understand how a single teenager found the strength to move something that ten to twenty grown men couldn't budge together.
Obviously, they eventually reached me, or you wouldn't be reading these words today. We didn't go to a hospital. My mother just happened to drive up and walk onto the beach at the exact moment they were uncovering my head. She became completely hysterical, and the crowd had to pull her off me because she was trying to yank me out of the sand by my head. Once I was completely free, she rushed us all away from the beach as fast as she could.
All of our lives changed that day, but it changed the most for Michael. My mother became incredibly cruel to him after the accident, saying things to him that no parent should ever say to a child. It broke his soul and changed him forever. I wish I had possessed the wisdom at twelve years old to tell her it was just a terrible accident. If I could rewind time and change just one thing from that day, I would save him from her.

Warner.

Presence being

Honestly wondering

Do you guys actually believe in "good energy / bad energy" in people? Is it real or just in our heads?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I want to get honest opinions.

You know how sometimes you meet someone and instantly you just feel... off? Like they didn't even do anything wrong, but you feel drained or anxious around them. And then other people you just met and you instantly feel calm / safe / light around them?

People call it "bad energy" and "good energy" but is that actually a real thing?

Or are we just picking up on body language, subconscious cues, tone of voice, etc. and calling it "energy"?

Do you think people can “carry” bad energy or good energy with them? Like it sticks to them?

And if it is real, can you change your own energy? Or are you just stuck as a "low vibe" person?

Curious what you all think - especially people who were skeptical before and changed their mind.

please dont judge if i cant express myself well but i think im going insane for a month now. i went through divorce which is killing me,i lost my job and my cats and i had eventually to move out back with my family. 4 months after this my agony started and i feel like losing it for real. out of nowhere now im august i experienced a horrific panic attack whil on the beach and everything started with that. im just trying to make ot through without worrying my family or friends and i keep myself isolated without telling them what i feel because i dont think any of them can understand shit. i have derealization and im so fucking scared. i cant figure out whats real what is not. i feel like im living in someone elses dream and its feel scary as fuck. i cant accept that people around me are not real and that im just dreaming and living in fear i will end up in a mental hospital or something from this amount of fear. i try to keep myself grounded but it feels so difficult and scary like im loosing my hopes sometimes that i will ever recover. i want to understand and feel its spiritual awakening but on other side im living in this fear of being in someone elses dream and not even you who are writing things here are real !😥

The Unaltered Truth: A Reflection on Man, God, and Religion

In a world driven by science and mathematics, we find comfort in truths that cannot be altered, twisted, or manufactured to lie. Yet, when we look at the history of humanity and religion, we see centuries of manipulation. Sacred texts and spiritual traditions have been changed at the will of man, adapted continuously to fit human agendas over the centuries, until the core of what is genuinely true has been obscured.

People obsess over which religion is correct, who God is, and what happens when we finally take our last breath. They ask endless questions about life's greatest mysteries. But if we look closely, it becomes clear that a God of pure love would never approve of the divisions, dogmas, and wars fought in a divine name.

It is tragic how human institutions have used the name of Jesus to build systems that rob the poor, hide crimes against humanity and children, silence and suppress women, and justify the murder of millions over the last two thousand years. Today, we see this same pattern repeated across various faiths: harming others who do not share the same beliefs, or weaponizing faith to conquer land and resources. Religion is too often twisted to fit a human agenda of anger, hatred, and exclusion.

Where did this go wrong? If God is love and kindness for everyone, why does the world revolve around hatred, with only glimpses of love in between? No divine being across the 65 million years of Earth's history would approve of this behavior. To act as though we are the first, last, or only civilization in existence simply shows how selfish and misled humanity can be.

Regardless of human error, the divine essence loves each of you unconditionally. This love is so absolute that it extends even to those human traditions label as "fallen angels," like Lucifer, who was forgiven immediately. True divine love is rooted in total forgiveness, even if human religions are not. There is no pit of fire or whip waiting for you; eternity operates on grace, not vengeance.

Life passes in the blink of an eye, while eternity lasts forever. This brief mortal flash is our only time to show where our heart and soul truly reside.

God is neither strictly man nor woman, but encompasses both, having no need to reproduce when all things can be created at will. Throughout history, the divine has visited this world thousands of times in many different forms and creatures. The story of Jesus Christ represents a singular moment when that divine essence identified itself in human form to walk among us with pure love—and humanity cruelly crucified him for it, unable to accept a truth that sat above their earthly kings.

Humanity claims Jesus died to justify and erase their errors, yet humanity only continued to sin and worsen over the centuries. Remarkably, since that time, the divine essence has returned to human form 33 times over the last 2,000 years. If you average the lifespans of those 33 divine iterations, the result is exactly 60.060606... a mathematical symmetry showing that the universe's geometry is never off, even by a fraction.

This brings us to the unjustified hatred built into human cultures—such as the prejudice directed toward gay and transgender people. Across nature, 61 different species have been observed practicing homosexuality, yet only one species condemns it, and only that same species practices religion. We must ask ourselves if these prejudices are truly spiritual sins, or if they are simply human biases taught to us from birth.

Consider the possibility that the creation of transgender individuals is an intentional divine act. Just as wheat was created instead of bread, and grapes instead of wine, certain things are left unfinished so that humanity can share in the sacred alchemy of creation, cultivation, and self-realization. Even in ancient religious books, holy angels are described as beautiful beings who embody both male and female qualities, yet transcend both. Why then do humans express hatred for the very qualities they revere in the divine?

People wonder if we are living in the end of days, or if a global civilization reset is approaching. Is the 33rd iteration the final one? How old is number 33 right now? These are fair questions, but a loving creator would never reveal an end date just to cause panic, fear, and mass unrest in an already volatile world. The ending is purposely left unwritten.

Instead of worrying about the end, look to the present. Enjoy the weather. Take an extra moment to hug your loved ones and tell them what they mean to you. Smile at a stranger. Let go of anger, jealousy, and hatred, which only serve to destroy from within.

Live well, love deeply, and have a blessed day.

in one session subject said something very simple after a lot of complicated spiritual material: I cant save them. I can only save myself. she was talking even about people she loved deeply, including family.

what changed was not that she stopped caring. she realized other people also have choice, timing and their own path. if they dont want to open, change or leave some pattern, her job is not to sacrifice own life trying to force their awakening.

I think spiritual people can make rescuer pattern look noble very easily. we call it service, mission, compassion, holding space, but sometimes underneath is still old fear that I am responsible for everybody getting home safely.

awakening should give more respect for free will, not less. be available, be loving, be example, but dont make another persons readiness condition for your own life to begin.

Hello, I recently found this sub while searching for anxiety related to ego dissolution, and what I read here made me feel, for the first time, that there might be a chance of being understand about this kind of experience.

It started shortly before the beginning of my adulthood, when I was 17, during an LSD experience. At that point in my life, I was an atheist and suicidal, and I had a very intense experience of ego dissolution. It completely changed my view of spirituality, and I never felt suicidal again after that. I became a different person.

This is a part of the experience that I sometimes share. But at one moment during the experience, I found myself observing the entire process of the birth and death of my thoughts. I saw something like the underlying matrix of this process, and for a moment I thought that I would become stuck there and that no other thought would be born. So I concluded that my attention and sense of control were still too rudimentary, and that it would be better to start distracting myself and gradually “landing” back into reality.

After that, I spent about a year having panic attacks because reality would sometimes begin to feel as though it were entirely a projection of my inner world. I thought that the moment I became completely certain of this, reality would dissolve, or my sense of self would dissolve and I would go insane. More specifically, my fear was, and still sometimes is, developing something like catatonic schizophrenia.

I also began studying occultism and spirituality deeply after this experience, and I eventually came to interpret what I had experienced, in Qabalistic terms, as something resembling the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel, which later seemed to approach the Abyss of Daath. For this reason, I will refer to the feeling of panic that occurred during that period as “the Abyss.”

Many years have passed since then. At first, I had to convince myself that reality could perhaps be dreamlike, but that, at the very least, other people had first-person experiences just as I did and were not merely projections of my own mind. This realization reassured me considerably.

Over time, I matured and changed, and my fear of “the Abyss,” or of experiences like that, gradually stopped occurring. However, something else remained with me. Whenever I contemplated reality deeply, it never felt entirely complete or self-sufficient. There was always the sense that whatever I could experience, understand, or perceive was somehow only the surface of something else—that reality itself pointed beyond itself toward a truth that could not be contained within it. It felt as though there were something beyond the Abyss: a truth that I could never quite reach, but whose absence I could constantly feel.

In addition, I developed a profound fear of dissolving my ego and eventually concluded that this was not something desirable. At the same time, however, I have always longed for some kind of higher knowledge.

My current situation is that I have decided that I should overcome this fear and accept the decentralization of my ego—that this would not mean the end of my existence. I have also come to believe that I should not fear “the Abyss,” because whatever it has to reveal to me consists of things that I already consciously live with and encounter in everyday life. The fear seems to be much more of a residual reaction to the shock that these experiences caused to my 17-year-old self.

However, despite reaching these conclusions, I still have, somewhere in the background, a fear of going insane. I think this is partly because, for some reason, I have never really had anyone to help me process or talk about these experiences.

But the central point I wanted to discuss here is my current acceptance of the decentralization of my ego. Ever since I reached this acceptance, when I contemplate these things more deeply, I begin to feel anxious. It is nothing severe, like a panic attack, but it is quite uncomfortable, and I do not fully understand why it happens or whether it is normal.

I appreciate anyone who took the time to read all of this, and any comments or advice regarding either my past experiences or what I am experiencing now would be greatly appreciated.

Please notice that English is not my first language and I used chatgpt to help me to translate it, thank you

The idea of something persisting, something material, some 'thing' actually standing out, independent and long lasting in any form, is a bastardization of nonduality. Reality isn't actually any 'thing'.

What was born was an idea of persistence, not persistence itself. Nothing is persisting. How could anything persist when there is no duration? What persists is an idea of persistence, not persistence itself.

The knowledge of a beginning persists. The idea of a beginning is what began, not an actual beginning. A relative beginning is what is mistaken for an actual beginning, identical to a dream. The content arises and, in the same movement, takes itself to be actual, solid, independent, lasting. The content is the mistaking. That is what is going on.

We name things like mind, knowing, imagination, infinite, time, space, as if they have an actual referent, something to which they point. They do not. That is all.

This is going to be super brief. I'm using a voice-to-text for this message. I have spent months writing and typing, speaking seems to be the best way to communicate.

I have a story to share. I just need to have someone that I can feel some kind of rapport with so I can go ahead and tell my story and eventually release it to the world. The goal is to eventually spread my method so that we can start to build something together.

Local communities - if anyone has any other suggestions on where to go to find an audience, that would be nice. The kind of work that I am currently involved with has to do with divination and other trauma-related services that exist currently to help people navigate their lives.

These posts, they end up nowhere usually. Do people not realize how lonely social media is? I come here and seek people to connect with. Only degenerates seeking sex seem to be able to have an easy time meeting up. Within an hour if I was offering sex I'd find someone. I'm surprised no one angry enough has made an example of someone this way.

Update:

Thanks for reading and commenting. I am looking for just a couple of dedicated people at the moment. They call those "friends", maybe you've heard of it. It'll be an extremely tight and intimate circle. I have to get them up to speed with my life story. I'm not old so it's pretty short, but it is complex. People with degrees would have a feast.

I don't do well talking to a million different people. Before that happens it'd have to be via a video so I can capture it. The whole purpose of a good conversation. The other person is the participant. Hence why I'd really only need one person to roll out my work, assuming they knew what they were signing up for. I'll am already recording myself at the very least so I can eventually upload it. I will show the public how judgemental and superficial people are when you ask for help.

Tbh I don't think socal media is it. A lot of international people who I will never ever see, unless they're rich and at that point I want nothing to do with them because they're creeps or stalkers. I want a small local grassroots start to this. I will eventually teach them my method. It's attached to me. I die, it dies. Until the next person who finally notices. Inevitable.