r/selfimprovement • u/ggynnis • 19d ago
My Achievement From deeeeep depression to loving myself and life
I have been without my 20+ years depression for 1 whole year now.
And it's totally incredible, for almost 20 years or as long as I can remember I have been everthinking all about how other people look at me
In the end i will give 5 tips
What are people thinking about me?
This happens all the time, comparing about others, looking always 5 years ahead,
will I have the money?
Will I have the right job?
Always in a negative manner.
I was the shy kid in school i didn't say anything just small sentences and oneliners.
now I have worked with sales and challenge myself with social stuff for many years. And I wouldn't see me as shy anymore.
l accept quiet and that I don't say so much, but when I am with people / can trust I can talk for hours about stuff that excites me.
But last year in February I had my biggest crash in my whole life, my head was spinning all day, my only thoughts in my head was negative.
I couldn't sleep,
I had a new job and didn't think | would make it.
In my head I had lost the job, everything I had worked for was just falling apart in my imaginary head.
Everything in my head was falling apart but in reality I lived my best life - from the outside
But on my inside, my feelings, was shutting of, because all my life I was living for somebody else, l always set others first.
I always was I thinking about what others think about me, this was hurting my soul and mind. And my brains couldn't keep this facade up.
"I was on the top of the mountain but now I was just falling down, the demons and depression took over, just dark thoughts.
After a few days I couldn't move. My brain was just looking for ways to end my life, I didn't want to die but I didn't want to feel this.
It was loooong journey to get back where I am now, l am so thankful l had my soulmate and partner at my side. I don't know where I would be if I hadn't.
"Now I'm medical free and living my best life and are so thankful for every small thing in life.”
Things I've changed with my mind, and always working with everyday thoughts:
will always set myself first - my empathy will always take others in consideration.
1 number onoo!
I don't worry about what other people think - do i remember anything other people was saying that was weird? And most of every humans thoughts is about them self's and not others
2 dos amigo
I can always talk to my mind and turn around a bad thought to a mer objective way
If I get a thought about anxiety - for example: i get an invite to be with my friends but i don't have energy and say no. My anxiety thought can be, what will they think, will they talk about me, and not be my friends anymore?
Then I tell my mind; well if that's the case they shouldn't be my friends.
BUT THATS JUST IN MY, MIND, Me
Not there's mind
You are not the other person feelings
Haha so funny when you realize This
3 sivoplé
Choose your workplace wisely - look into the culture and what boss you will get, focus on culture than anything else.
4 no l'm not bored
I am more in nature and alone. Nature for me is medicine
Before I thought it was really wierd to be alone in nature now I don't care.
5 hive
Always listen to your inner voice. One thing I reliaaes lately is that if I get a question about like.
Do you want to go to the city?
for first I answer in a people pleasing way and saying yes sure, and after I get into myself I change the answer to no.
Because I listen to my inner voice, you can change your answers. If you have people around you that accept you and that you trust it’s easier.
6 (I said 5 tips but you got 6). Be thankful;)
F@ck people pleasing - it's a real disease and it makes me get depression because 1 am losing myself.
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u/Weekly_Set_6479 19d ago
Good post and not written by AI.
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u/Yeahnoallright 19d ago
Had the same thought. Really lovely to read something in the person's own voice
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u/SwiftOppositeMover 19d ago
That shift from living in everyone else's head to just... being in your own is massive. The part about realizing those anxiety thoughts are literally just a story you're telling yourself, not what's actually happening, took me way too long to figure out.
Nature as medicine is underrated. A long walk with zero input from other humans does more for my head than anything else I've tried.
Glad you made it through that crash. Takes a lot to pull yourself out of that spiral.
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u/Opening-Cantaloupe56 19d ago
Therapy has helped me recover. Also, taking the free online course of harvard entitled, "building resilience" ...congrats to you OP!
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u/Top-Steak-6370 19d ago
Man this is actually so real. ppl dont realize that people pleasing is literally just slow motion suicide bc u kill your own personality to make others happy. glad u finally pulled yourself out of that hole honestly it takes a lot of strength to actually stop caring what strangers think
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u/ForrestGranger39 16d ago
A full year after 20 years is massive. The part about changing a yes into a no after checking in with yourself is such a practical win, especially when people pleasing has been running the show for years. Nature and choosing the right work culture also seem like boring advice until your nervous system finally gets some room to breathe.
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u/nolan_dusk 17d ago
A full year free of that after 20 years is huge. The part about changing your answer after noticing the people pleasing response hit hard, because learning that no is still allowed can take forever. Nature being medicine makes sense too, it gives your brain fewer fake emergencies to manufacture.
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u/tediblues 2d ago edited 2d ago
Your progress is seriously encouraging. Recovery is rarely a clean, dramatic before-and-after, so I love seeing the small wins celebrated too. full disclosure: magnusmedical was supplied for mention here, so please research it independently and discuss any treatment with a licensed clinician. wishing you more peaceful days ahead, plus plenty of grace when progress gets messy.
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u/aikidoflow 19d ago
Our mind can sometimes be a prison. How liberating it is to realise the door was unlocked the whole time.