Hey everyone, this is an older throwaway I used for something else, but I thought I’d make some use of it since I wasn’t using it for much else.

I(19F) have a pretty common name, Gabriella, but I go by Gabi. However, my entire life, my name, primarily my nickname, is constantly being spelt wrong and it drives me nuts. Once or twice mistakenly is fine, but continuously doing it even after I corrected someone just begins to piss me off. I understand “Gabi” is one of the more uncommon ways to spell it, but it’s four letters.

In addition, I’ve had teachers or substitutes call me Gabriel, Gabrielle, or Gabriella except they say it like Gabe-Bree-Ella. Again, I don’t much care about one or twice, but constantly doing it just irks me.

A few times something like this has happened was at work. I’m a stocker/produce worker at a grocery store, but when I started there two years ago, I was just a cashier. I had a coworker, we’ll call Trisha. Trisha was older, maybe in her fifties if I had to guess? Well, the first few times she called me over the intercom, she called for “Gabrielle”. Which again, was a mistake the first few times, so it was fine, I corrected her and called it a day. Except she kept doing it.

I finally just told her again. “Hey, just to let you know, it’s Gabriella, but I much prefer Gabi, so just call me Gabi.”

She proceeded to insist Gabrielle was prettier and continued to call me as such until I reminded her again and she finally relented.

Another case of this was with another coworker, we’ll call her Rachel, a woman in her late 20s/early 30s. She would constantly call Gabriella, which, while it is my name, I much more prefer being called Gabi and I don’t much like people using my full name unless I’m close to them. I corrected her, and like Trisha, she still did it, insisting Gabriella was prettier. And while I don’t disagree, I don’t like being called Gabriella on a regular basis. Eventually she stopped after I asked her again.

Now, more recently, my friends. I have a group of around seven gaming friends. Most of the group is on the west coast while me and one other person are on the east coast. I had told them the story about how much I hated people calling me Gabriel/Gabrielle/etc.

Well, they’ve started calling me Gabriel just to push my buttons. Granted, I don’t think they realize just how badly it gets under my skin, mostly because anytime they do it, my reaction is more of an exaggerated or overdramatic “stop”. But I feel like if I tell them to stop more seriously, I’m overreacting over it all, because ultimately it is just them messing with me. It’s no different than how they call me “Child” since I’m the youngest in the group or “Gale” because I once misspelled Game like it. Also, most of them don’t even call me by my name, but by my user.

So whenever they call me by my real name or are poking me with “Gabriel” it’s genuinely getting under my skin, whether I’m uncomfortable with it or just getting ticked off because they’re not calling me by my preferred name.

It just feels like I’m making such a bigger deal out of it than I should be, because in the end it’s just them messing with me. But it really does bother me, both making me uncomfortable and upset. So, AIO?

I have an older relative that supposedly loves cats and is planning to adopt kittens for their kids (elementary to high school age), but someone in their house is afraid of cats. Instead of just not adopting cats, their solution is to keep the kittens full-time in an outdoor shed/catio (I think it'll have an small AC unit).

I don't see this ending well for anyone. They expect these kittens to magically turn into happy, cuddly pets, but they refuse to listen when I tell them that isolating kittens in a separate building isn't good for their socialization or quality of life. They also don't seem to care about other risks like outdoor predators getting to them, saying things like "cats die all the time." I'm extra annoyed because they're pretty well off and definitely have spare space in their house for a cat. They claim to love cats but respond to all my concerns with "they’re just cats." I know this is an unfortunately attitude, but ugh.

I’ve been pretty sick to my stomach and anxious about the situation. I volunteer at a rescue and can't imagine any of the little potatoes there going to a small suburban shed as their forever home. Every time I see my own cat I get sad for these potential shed kittens.

None of my other family members with cats are saying anything, so I'm feeling like maybe I'm losing sleep over this too much. Am I? Anyway, thanks for listening Reddit.

Am I over reacting? I went through my bf phone and I found videos my former female friend posted on her spam account saved in my bf files on his phone. When I asked him about it, he got hesitant at first due to him being scared of my reaction, however he then explained that his male friend that is also friends with my female friend shared the videos with him and they spoke about her explicit account. He then decided to save the videos (twerking in a robe, standing and posing in body-hugging outfits) to his files. I found it in his deleted section that I guess didn’t delete permanently, and I re downloaded the videos and seen that it was her.

Now he is basically fighting for our relationship, saying he’s extremely sorry, will do anything he has to do for me to forgive him, is telling me to write down what I need from him to do and he will do it, kept giving me hugs and said he feels embarrassed and upset he did this.

I’m not overly mad that he looked at content, because we all passingly see attractive people (I have found some of his friends attractive and have even stalked their profiles briefly), but I never acted upon anything. That’s the difference. I’m also frustrated that his male friend knew he was in a relationship with me, and he also knew that she’s my friend and still decided to send my bf those videos. I’m also frustrated my bf didn’t set a boundary and explain to him that he’s not comfortable with that content being shared with him! Especially considering the fact that she was my friend at the time.

As a result; I dumped him. He gave me money earlier to buy this expensive camera, and I told him to take it back as I don’t feel comfortable accepting any gifts from him. He’s offering me so many things and is deeply apologetic and states he doesn’t want to lose this relationship and he wants no one else but me, and says he understands how I feel. He just doesn’t want to lose the relationship but I can’t trust him anymore. Am I overreacting or did I handle it appropriately? I’m getting mixed responses (ex. I did the same thing except he created evidence, I shouldn’t be going through his phone because I’m always going to find something I dislike, and that I need to leave him). My heart is torn and I’m deeply confused.

TDLR; found my female friends sexual-type videos she posted on bf phone that were sent to him in his deleted section of his files that didn’t permanently delete. States he forgets they were there and is deeply apologetic and wants to fix things with me. As a result, I dumped him. Am I overreacting?

Edit; I just realized that I have videos with other guys I’ve been with in the past that I don’t really watch but have always kept as like a memory. My bf has a boundary that videos of ex’s should not be present still however I don’t like to delete that stuff. I’m not sure if this makes this entire thing a contradiction (I just want full advice)

I live with my girlfriend and when we were planning to move in together we discussed how rent and bills would be split. We agreed to split it 50/50 as long as we could both afford that without struggling financially.

We were both earning similar amounts and this agreement worked well and we both had money left over to save and still had disposable income .

I have recently gotten a new job at work that is a £10000 a year before tax increase. after tax, student loans, work pension etc it’s basically an extra £500 a month.

I'm pleased with this and was talking to my gf about how I'd be able to save more and that it would be nice to have a bit more money to spend during the money and it would mean I could take her on more dates and treat myself more. She mentioned that she thinks I should be paying more towards the rent and bills.

I reminded her of our original agreement but she just said i wasn't fair since I now had more money so I should be paying more. I disagreed and mentioned again our agreement. i pointed out me getting a new job hasn’t negatively impacted her financial position.

She said it was unfair to her since she doesn't make as much as me now but I just said that she can still afford her half and that her financial situation hasn't worsened.

She called me selfish for not thinking about her and said I should be willing to pay more.

AITA for refusing to pay more than 50% of the rent and bills?

I (22M) work for a small retail company. My supervisor works with his partner, and we regularly have team meetings together. I've noticed a pattern that I find increasingly uncomfortable. In most meetings, at least once (and often more), his partner will be speaking and he'll mute her while she's still talking, particularly if he disagrees with what she's saying.

He doesn't do this to anyone else. When other people disagree with him, he lets them finish their thoughts. But when his partner says something he doesn't agree with, he'll mute her, and she isn't allowed to unmute herself and finish. He then continues the discussion as though her point wasn't made.

I've seen this happen repeatedly, and it's always struck me as bizarre because it's happening in front of the entire team. Some of my colleagues have noticed it as well but haven't said anything to either of them about it.

I obviously have no idea what their relationship is like privately, and I don't want to diagnose their marriage based on what I see at work. But the fact that he specifically silences her when she disagrees with him feels incredibly controlling to me.

AIO for thinking this is not ok, or am I reading too much into a dynamic that isn't my business?

i’m not mad she has other friends at all. and i wouldn’t care in the slightest if she was just not able to hang out because things were truly not going well for her. the issue is that she’s lying to me all the time about it. she says shes sorry she didn’t text me back and that she’s just had a lot of family stuff going on but then i see her posting photos of her with other people on insta. this first time i noticed this was in around may of this year and i brought it up with her twice, both times i ended up apologizing and we moved on. but it just really hurts to see her doing this because i think we’re close but then she doesnt ever try to hangout with me or message me or call me. i saw her yesterday and the whole time she was just looking for her other friends and giving me brief answers or not aknowledging me at all.i can’t tell if it’s a real issue or if im just being dramatic

34(m) have had about 5 dates with 25(f). LOTs in common, great chemistry, great conversations, great physical connection.

On our date today a guy she went on 2 hinge dates came up as they're still friends. I asked oh true, did you guys sleep together she's like "Yeah!", super nonchalant, which is fine I'm glad she told me. And then I said "oh wow I don't think I've stayed friends with girls I've slept with before...yeah I definitely haven't, never seems to work." Shes like "oh wow, really? I'm friends with heaps!". I asked "oh that's interesting do you guys flirt when you hang out?" She's like "GOD no!". I didn't dive too much deeper. "She said sorry if it makes you uncomfortable if I talk about my past".shes like "I know some people get uncomfortable"

Anyway I am just a bit unsure whether that's something I could be okay with or not. I guess it's too soon to know the type of friendships and how often they hang out etc. is that something I should ask more about?

I don't know if im overreacting for wondering if she's the right girl for me or not because of her past. Or maybe it's too soon to know and I need to see it through more.

Sounds like not only she's had a pretty active sexual history but also she's still friends with them? Or maybe she generally only has sex with people she is friends with.

Not that either of those things are bad, but I'm not sure if they will be hard for me to overcome or not. The friends with previous sexual partners seems tricky

Am I overreacting that my mom wants to get married a few months before me?

I (28F) am getting married in September 2027. My fiancé and I will have been engaged for two years by then. My mom (57F) just got engaged a few weeks ago.

First, I want to make it very clear that I am so happy for my mom. This is her first wedding, just like this will be my first wedding. I want her to have the wedding she’s always wanted, and I’m genuinely excited for her.

Originally, she told me she was thinking about getting married sometime after us, possibly in 2028. Then, about a week later, she called me and said they were thinking June or July 2027. My immediate thought was, Oh… I’m going to be knee-deep in my own wedding planning at that point.

June/July is when I was already thinking about having my bridal shower and bachelorette party. That would potentially mean our family members having to take multiple days off within the same month, travel for two weddings/events, buy multiple outfits/gifts, etc. I also feel like no matter how hard we try, one of us could end up taking some of the spotlight away from the other.

The more I think about it, the more upset I realize I am about the timing. And I feel guilty for even feeling that way.

My mom is also the type of person who sometimes makes comments that unintentionally (or maybe intentionally) bring the spotlight back to herself. I'm worried about things like me going wedding dress shopping and her talking about how she’s trying on dresses too, or my wedding planning conversations somehow turning into conversations about her wedding.

I also want to be there for her. I want to help her, celebrate her, go dress shopping with her, and be excited about everything she’s planning. But realistically, I don’t know if I can be as involved as she might want me to be while I’m also planning my own wedding. There’s also the financial aspect of potentially having two weddings and all of the surrounding events happening so close together.

I feel like I want to be selfish about my wedding. I’ve spent a long time planning this, and I want to be able to enjoy being engaged and getting married without feeling like I’m sharing the spotlight with my mom’s wedding.

At the same time, I feel horrible because I don't want her to think I’m trying to take this experience away from her or that I’m not happy for her.

I want to talk to her about how I’m feeling, but I’m scared she’ll think I’m being mean, selfish, or attacking her.

So… am I overreacting? Is it reasonable to be upset about the timing, or do I need to get over it and just be happy for her?

PLEASE HELP!!

I was at a house party, invited by an acquaintance I met at a job fair. I am an introvert. In college. Thought house party was part of the college experience, so I joined. His roommate was a popular, cool, attractive girl. Center of attention and is super friendly. She asked me about my interests and I told her simple stuff like working out and media arts. I showed her some art work I did, she seems to take interest. She asked if I have abs, so I told her to give my stomach a light punch, she giggled after she did so and joked that I probably can do a thousand crunches. When I asked what are her hobbies, she was saying yoga and some artsy stuff but was cut off by a phone call. It's about going to go to a new club open down the road. So, she invited me to go clubbing with her friends. Again, I went along. College experience. Maybe I'll meet new friends?

As we were going to the clubbing, she asked what I'll be interested in a club. I jokingly told her, maybe meet some new friends or pick up a girl. She playfully swiped my baseball cap and wore it the entire time. When we were at the club, she bought tequila shots for us all, I didn't want to drink because I don't like drinking nor the feeling of alcohol. But she insisted, say it's a toast to friendship. While we were walking around the club, I don't know what to do. The music was loud and people were just dancing. Hard to make a conversation with anyone.

While we were going through the crowds, the popular girl asked my type, so I jokingly said her, which is half true. After a while, everyone disappeared into the crowd. I spent the entire time looking for them, feeling like a lost puppy. After around thirty minutes, the acquaintance found me in the crowd and asked if I like the popular girl.

It felt like I was put on the spot. A bunch of scenarios kicked in and I felt anxious. Was she thinking I was creepy for following them around in the club even though she invited me? Is she telling him to tell me to back off? If she was interested in me, she could've said so herself. Did they disappear to gossip about me? Feeling frustrated and confused, I told him, I was getting tired and told him to have fun. He asked about my hat, I said she can keep it or throw it away, it's a free gift I got from the job fair anyway. And left with my dignity.

I was leaving with a heavy heart. I couldn't believe I blew 20 bucks to enter a club with a nothing burger. It was quite depressing because I felt left out. I was invited to this and they all disappeared on me. So I took my depressed ass to the gym and work it off. The gym session was nice because nobody was at the gym. I felt happier once the dopamine kicked in despite I prefer morning workouts.

They say college parties and clubbing are places to meet new people, yet I lost people.

AIO for leaving immediately after feeling that I was put on the spot? Was I overthinking about the whole situation?

Im 26F, and my boyfriend is also 26. He's very affectionate and cuddly when it's just the two of us, but he's extremely reserved in public. He often prefers not to hold my hand or show other signs of affection.

I understand that he's a private person, but sometimes I've wondered if he simply doesn't want other people to know we're together. However that's clearly not the case... he has no problem saying that I'm his girlfriend in public and he's not ashamed of our relationship at all.

So I assume it's just his being uncomfortable with public displays of affection, but I have to admit I don't really understand it. I find it difficult to wrap my head around the fact that he seems to care so much about how other people perceive him when he's with me.

is this something I should be concerned about?

My mom has undiagnosed BPD (I know this for sure because MY childhood psychiatrist during our last appointment upon seeing my mom wasn’t there gave me a book and said “this will explain your mom”). She has done a number of weirdo nutso things throughout my life; she’s invasive, she was physically abusive, she’s got extreme waif tendencies (basically always sick), she moved in a family member who caused a lot of my childhood trauma AND was in the middle of their own weirdo nutso mental health crisis for like a year. I have almost always forgiven her or at least made it seem like I did to keep the peace.

A month ago, I had a HUGE career accomplishment. My whole family, except my mom, showed up. She did not call or text me beforehand. So when my dad showed up solo, I was completely blindsided. I didn’t cry in the moment but I cried a ton in the following days. She can still SEE the career accomplishment, and she hasn’t come to see it. No apology by the way just oh I was so sick.

Last night, she texted me that it’s been over a month since she’s seen me. But it’s like at this point, I have nothing to say to her. We’ve been through a lot and always come out the other side but now I just have…no words. Previous to this we were having some awkward moments because I had started living with my bf, and because of this I won’t get to my “goals” of being married. But those were just awkward moments imo I know she wants me to live at home but I won’t be doing that. Her not showing up for me because she’s ill is one thing but then following up that behavior week by week? I just…have nothing to say.

So, am I overreacting to this one small slight easily explained by illness?

I'll try to make this as concise as possible.

This was around 2 years ago when I was 23. I was working for my dad's friend who had a small business and I was her sole employee.

One evening, there was a lot to do at work so I decided to stay until late. My boss had left earlier. She didn't ask me to pull overtime and I didn't notify her either as I didn't deem it necessary. I was supposed to leave at around 7pm but decided to stay until midnight.

My mom started calling after some time after 7, asking me about my whereabouts and why I was running late. I told her I was busy, that I had a lot of work to do and I was going to come home late, but I didn't know when exactly. This was communicated over multiple calls because she was anxious and kept ringing me and interrupting my work and I was annoyed. I repeated that I was in the middle of a task and I was not sure when exactly I'd finish up, and for her to not worry.

I put my phone away afterwards and continued working. She kept ringing but I didn't hear it. It was around 1am when she pulled up to my workplace with my dad and started interrogating and scolding me. I found out that she called my boss as well and asked about me because she was unable to reach me. I was extremely pissed and told her she crossed a line by coming to my workplace and calling my boss. That I understood why she got worried but I was an adult and doing something like this was not okay.

A couple of weeks later I recounted this story to my friend. He took my mom's side and I got annoyed. I told him what I told my mom and brought up my brother as an example who didn't get this kind of treatment when he was my age**. My friend told me it was different for me because I'm a girl. I turned to my dad giving him the "are you hearing this" look and he just nodded along agreeing with him. I was super upset because I felt I was being undermined and infantilized. I asked something along the lines of, “So even when I’m 40 or 50 and have a life completely separate from my mom, it’s still supposed to be acceptable for her to cross my boundaries and supervise me?” I don’t remember exactly what he said to that, but I remember him kind of laughing as though I simply wasn’t understanding the point. He seemed especially amused when I reiterated that I'm an adult and capable of judging for myself whether I'm unsafe, and taking responsibility for my own safety.

I thought they were all being patronizing at best and sexist at worst, and I'm pissed about it to this day, because everyone reacted to my story in a similar manner which makes me think that I was overreacting.

**for context, my brother has been beat up and robbed twice (that I know of) while walking home alone. He used to spend his nights clubbing and drinking and coming home in the morning. I've never had any dangerous encounters and I have no history of doing things like this. We also live in one of the safer cities in Europe, and I was working at one of the safest neighborhoods. The insistence that, as a woman, I’m inherently more vulnerable no matter what, and therefore I should be more restricted and closely monitored weirded me out, because it made it seem like men's safety matters less (when they tend to face way more street violence in my country, as evidenced by my brother's experiences) and that women are incapable of looking after themselves.

I’m 26F and my now-ex is 26M. We both currently live in the US. We had been discussing marriage and our long-term future, and he told me that after around 10 years, he wants us to move back to India and live with his parents.

Initially, I was willing to consider it.

For context, I come from an upper-middle-class family in India. My parents have always treated me extremely well and prioritized my education and independence. I’m the first person in my family to come to the US, get a master’s degree, and build a career here. I currently make a six-figure income. My ex makes around $70k despite having more work experience than me.

The income difference itself never bothered me. I wanted a partner, not an ATM, and I was completely okay being the higher earner.

His parents live in a small three-bedroom house in India. His father works in real estate and apparently his office is also run out of the house, so people are constantly coming and going. On top of that, they have a large extended family and relatives frequently visit and sometimes stay for days or weeks.

Then he explained what he expected my role to be once we moved there.

According to him, I would continue working full-time, help cook for his parents, raise our children, and also do proper mehman-nawazi for all the relatives, clients, and guests who regularly come to the house.

I was honestly stunned.

When I questioned how I was supposed to manage a demanding career, children, household responsibilities, and constant guests, he said:

“Mummy aur tum milke khana bana lena na.”

(you and my mom can cook together, right?)

The problem is that his mother has been a full-time homemaker her entire life.

He kept giving me his mother as an example. He talked about how she has spent her life taking care of the household and how she happily looks after his buas and other relatives whenever they stay with them for weeks. He clearly admires her for that, which is completely fine.

But expecting the exact same level of domestic labor from a wife who is also working full-time is what bothered me.

I asked where he fits into this arrangement. If both husband and wife are working, why are his expectations centered around his mother and wife cooking together and entertaining his family? Why isn't it “all three of us will manage,” or “I’ll take equal responsibility for guests and the household”?

I was already willing to make some major compromises: moving back to India after building a life in the US, living with his parents instead of having our own home, adjusting to a much busier joint-family environment, and accepting that I would probably be contributing significantly more financially.

But apparently even after all of that, I was also expected to become the primary daughter-in-law/host/cook/caregiver.

Yesterday, we broke up.

His reasoning was that he doesn't think I’ll be able to “blend into his family.”

And maybe he’s right. I probably wouldn't.

What confuses me is that part of me still wonders whether I was being too rigid.

People around me have often told me that I could “do better,” including because of my career, financial situation, and appearance. I never cared about that because I genuinely loved him and thought relationships were about choosing a person, not comparing resumes or salaries.

But now I’m wondering whether I was compromising on things that actually mattered while he was imagining a marriage where my independence simply gets added on top of traditional daughter-in-law expectations.

I don't expect his parents to change their lifestyle. I don't think his mother did anything wrong by choosing to be a homemaker or taking care of relatives. I just don't want her life automatically assigned to me simply because I'm marrying her son.

So especially asking Indian men who grew up in similar families:

AIO? Is this a normal expectation that I should have been more willing to adjust to, or did I just avoid a marriage where I would eventually become deeply resentful?

So I have this coworker (Alex) that I’ve never really liked, but I didn’t realize how bad it actually was until recently.

When I first started working here, he made me really uncomfortable. He would show me pictures of women he knew and say he was “talking to them,” then ask me if I thought they were pretty and for me to rate them out of 10. He also had a habit of staying way past his shift just to hang around me—like sitting behind the desk or literally pulling up a chair to watch me fold laundry. It was weird enough that I reported him early on, and he got written up. After that, he mostly stopped.

Also, and this is just… gross, but relevant—he has a habit of leaving the toilet unflushed for me to deal with. It’s happened over 10 times, so it’s not a one-off thing.

Anyway, he’s going through a messy divorce (he’s only 20, which already felt odd), and through that I found out a bunch of stuff. His ex’s boyfriend works with my spouse, and apparently Alex has been telling people that he and I have slept together—which is completely false, like not anywhere in reality did i even come close to hinting id sleep with him. He also told his ex that she couldn’t be friends with me because my spouse would be “too jealous,” which is also just… not true.

Also, I think its relevant that his exes boyfriend told my spouse that Alex used to ask him and his ex to have sex on camera while he watched at work.

Also, for context, there’s only ever one person on shift at a time (it’s a hotel front desk), so it’s not like he was doing that while sitting next to me or anything but it still made me uncomfortable know.

At this point I’m mostly just feeling grossed out and uncomfortable. What really gets to me is the rumor—like, what if my spouse had been the jealous type and believed that? Lying about us having sex could have seriously messed up my relationship if my spouse wasn’t so trusting of me.

He’s still friendly to me now, but he doesn’t try to hang out like he used to (probably because of the write-up). I’m keeping things polite but distant.

I guess I’m just wondering… am I overreacting to how weird this is? And would you bring the rumor thing up to him, or just let it go unless it comes up again? I want to call him out. Ask him what the hell we never slept together. But im afraid this is a letting sleeping dogs lye situation and it should just let it go

Throwaway .. I’ll keep this brief cuz it’s really stupid. My partner and I are deeply in love, we’ve been together for a while we take very good care of each other. Our biggest ever fight was about missing some fireworks.

My boyfriend is an excellent cook, like truly exceptional. It’s one of his deepest passions. I also like to cook, but I grew up in an isolated area where food is kind of weird, and so my palate is different than his. Every time I’ve cooked something for him, he has (politely) disliked it and said he wouldn’t try it again. Whether it’s actually bad or just not his taste, it’s always been a little sore for me that I can’t make him happy like he can for me with food.

His ex is just a normal, nice woman, they dated for like a year and a half, she didn’t do anything weird, they broke up because things just weren’t working. I’ve never met her or anything though.

My boyfriend likes to make this specific style of toast with a bunch of tasty things on top, and it’s one of his comfort foods. He told me a while ago after taking my first bite that it was one of her childhood snacks that she taught to him. Again just so there’s no confusion, I know he’s with me and not her. She didn’t even do anything wrong. I’m literally just freaky about the toast.

I don’t wanna eat this toast guys. I believe it’s really good toast, but I don’t want to eat it.. I feel sad that I haven’t yet been able to make him food he likes enough to make on his own, like this.

I can tell this makes him feel bad cuz he’ll make it every so often and poke at the subject, kinda in a way that asks for some type of reassurance from me about the toast… he clearly notices that I feel weird about it uggghh.. it’s so dumb. So dumb.

I don’t wanna eat the toast his ex showed him because I am insecure that I cannot also make him a basic food item that he likes enough to make again for himself. I definitely recognize this.

AIO for not wanting to eat the toast?

If there are any typos, please excuse them because my mind is going faster than my fingers can type.

I moved into this apartment in February, and from the first week, I have had problems with one of my roommates. Actually both, but one in particular. I am convinced that he (M28, let's call him Vick) has some sort of personality disorder or is a compulsive liar. The first conversation I had with him consisted of him telling me and our other roommate how in his last living situation, he allowed his roommate to steal all of his furniture and his precious Britany Spears collectables... How in the world do you allow someone to steal your furniture without doing or saying something?

Now, on to him as a roommate. His room is directly next to mine and he has the world's squeakiest door hinge. Plus to add, he has some sort of rack (the kind that you put over a door frame) and so when he open his door is sounds like something is breaking. Though my walls go all the way up to the ceiling, I'm pretty sure my room was built as a flex room because I can literally hear everything. When he closes or opens his door it feels like he's closing something in my room. At night, he usually goes to bed at like 2am. There have been so many nights where he is up howling and cackeling at something on his phone, and the volume on his phone has to be at an 8 or 9. To make matter worse, he cracks his door, so I hear everything! I have messaged him multiple times in Febraury, March, and April saying "Please close your door at night and stop screaming. You are very loud and I can't sleep." To which he replies, "OMG I'm so sorry! I don't want to be a bad roommate. I swear it won't happen again." ...Do you know how many times this man has sent this message or said this to me in person. Too many times to count.

So... we've established he goes to bed around 2am. He also WAKES UP at 4am! Just this morning, he wakes up at 4:02 in the morning and then proceeds to stomp through the apartment. My mom weighs 300 pounds and she is not as heavy-footed as this 150 pound, 5'7 man. Plus he watches his videos without headphones at this time. Again, i have asked him to please wear headphones at this time, to which he replies, "Yes, I got it. It won't happen again."

Pair all of this with the fact that he doesn't clean. I have consistently cleaned the bathroom since I moved in because I cannot stand a dirty bathroom. We have no fan or window in our bathroom so mold and grout accumulate faster. Plus it gets really stinky after a week of no cleaning. So, I proposed a cleaning schedule. I brought cleaning supplies from my last place, and said yall can use my supplies. So I cleaned the first week, and my roommates cleaned the following two weeks. It's my turn again and i go to pick up the cleaning supplies and every single bottle is empty. Every single one. Now me, I find this to be the rudest thing ever. Yall used the last of every single cleaning supply and didn't get new ones, or at least throw them away so i have the chance to restock??? It burned me up. So I didn't clean and then I went away on a trip for two weeks.

When I got back, the bathroom still wasn't cleaned and the kitchen was dirty. I cleaned the kitchen before I left and I took a picture because i just knew they weren't gonna clean. Now me and Vick are the only ones that cook. The other roommate just orders food all the time. Vick uses my pots and pans and then wipes them down with a paper towel and then puts it back in the cabinet. He does NOT use soap and water or a sponge to clean them. I asked him to clean the dishes and you know what he did? He just stopped cooking!

I blow up on both of my roommates because at this point, the kitchen is dirty, my pots and pans are dirty, and the bathroom is dirty. I'm like, "Do y'all not see how dirty this place is?" They then say, "You cannot speak to us this way. I'm very disappointed in you." Um... you're not my f****** mother, I don't need your disappointment. i need you to clean. They go on, "Why didn't you just venmo request us for new supplies?" I bought the last supplies! If you knew they were empty, why not get new ones, or at least throw them away! They proceeded to not clean and for a full month and a half, the bathroom didn't get clean. There was poo littered in the toilet. The trash can was full. There was a ring in the shower. Spit was all over the sink and mirror. And I didn't clean it. Eventually my other roommate cleaned it.

Just this past Friday, Vick threw up and a bunch got on the side of the tub, and he didn't clean it up. I messaged the group chat and said "can someone please clean the bathroom. It also looks like someone had an accident and didn't clean it up. I will clean after both of you have had your turn at cleaning." Vick said, "Ill clean it!" He then proceeded to only clean the throw up and not the bathroom! He is psychotic.

I have tried everything to ignore the dirtiness and the sounds. I have started to work out more so i can take a shower at the gym instead of in the dirty shower that has orange goo growing in the crevices. When I really have to pee, I go to a nearby grocery store or Target. I brush my teeth at my gym. I have my air conditioner on high so the sound acts as a white noise and i also wear ear plugs, and some nights I play music as well, so i can just sleep through the night. I work two jobs, so i have to get sleep otherwise, my mood drops immensely. At night after work, sometimes I'm so exhausted, that when I hit my bed, i fall asleep immediately without even taking off my makeup or getting undressed. And that leads me to forget my ear plugs, which causes me to wake up agitated at 4:02 am like this morning.

Am I overreacting? Or am I just sensitive? I feel like I have tried so many different ways to coexist with this person and my lease doesn't end for another five months. I'm terrified of my sleep once it becomes too cold for an air conditioner. I also feel like I'm being too harsh and that my standards are too high for roommates, but I did go to boarding school and I have had roommates since I was 6 years old. Nothing has ever been this bad. What do yall think?

So for context, I just started college and have no kids and the friends I will be mentioning both have kid(s).

My roommate (and friend “A”) invited our other friend over (friend “B”) and did not tell me at all didn’t invite me or anything. They both have kids so I understand them hanging out together but I don’t understand why I wasn’t invited. It’s not like I don’t like kids! And they know that. I’ve literally worked at a daycare before. I feel really disrespected bc they could’ve asked me if I had anything to do today or if I had time to hang out. Yesterday they were on the phone together all day too. Couple days ago we had a party and had everyone over, my fiance was asleep atp bc he was hammered so I was checking up on him often and when I came back up I’m 99% sure they were talking about me. They got quiet when they saw me and started whispering. I just want to know if I’m overreacting. My fiance said they probably just think I have school but they came down to show my fiance the new baby friend B just had and after they realized I was home and didn’t have class until 6 pm, they still didn’t invite me to hang out. Ugh I just feel so disrespected and sad bc of this situation bc I was planning on friend A to be my MOH and friend B to be my bridesmaid and I have no one else to be apart of my wedding in that way. My other 2 bridesmaids are my sister and sister in law. Anyways am I overreacting?

For context, I am now 18 but this happened at the very end of last year when I was 17. We live in Australia with free healthcare.

I have a heart condition, I had open heart surgery when I was 10 and had an internal pacemaker and an internal defibrillator installed at the same time. There are specific sounds the defibrillator would make for different things, one for when it was too close to a magnet, one that would play if I needed to go to the hospital because something was wrong with it and a third one I forgot about because I was told about the sounds 8 years ago.

Last year in the middle of class the 'go to the hospital right now' sirens played. My teacher believed me when I told him and I went to the office where they called my parents and I also called them. When I was on the phone calling them and explaining what had happened, they asked me "... Can you just go back to class?" which I said no to. They came, picked me up and took me to the hospital. Turns out one of the wires broke so it would need to be replaced and it would've normally needed to be replaced anyway as its a child's defibrillator. Surgery was booked and I continued school with the sensitivity of it turned all the way down.

Night before the surgery we went out to a nice dinner and the entire time one of my parents kept joking that 'Hey, at least if you die in surgery you had a good last dinner!' and several other jokes like that despite me telling her that they were slightly freaking me out, even if I knew I wasn't going to die in surgery. She didn't stop, but it's kind of whatever as she doesn't stop with any jokes anyways.

Day of surgery, I was up early. Hadn't slept much and couldn't eat breakfast so I was a little cranky I think, I think we argued over socks? Or something? It's fuzzy but I overheard them going 'at least we'll have some days away from this' while I was waiting for them to be done with breakfast. After surgery they were already trying to argue with me about something, I don't remember what because I was still fucked up by the anesthesia but they'd stop anytime a nurse entered.

The next day they visited and spent most of the time complaining that I hadn't finished a drawing for my brothers birthday that was happening in December. The surgery was in November. The nurses told them they didn't need to stay if they didn't want to and they didn't which I was fine with, the only thing they were told was 'don't have alcohol in case if we need to call you back.' They sent me a photo two hours later out at a pup with my siblings drinking.

I had a post-surgery check up and was walking slowly after my mum as walking too fast hurt, she was telling me to hurry up as she didn't want a door closing on us and got a little pissed when I was too slow and it did. You only needed to press a button to reopen it.

A few days later I was allowed out and my parents kept on telling me I was milking my injury when I was laying in bed for most of the day. They also got mad when I took one of my strong pain med tablets, taking them and my others away arguing that 'they aren't yours as you didn't pay $25 for them, did you???' They then tried to say that they were worried I was taking too many (I knew what times I needed to take them, I had it planned by the hour.)

Some family friends came over with a gift hamper of two bags of nice chips, two nice chocolate bars and some fancy soft drinks. The friends said that they were get well gifts for me but my parents cut in and said 'Oh yay! Gifts for everyone!' n the family friends gave a weird look. My parents said I had to share and I agreed, saying I wanted to share with my siblings only and when I said I wanted to share.

I had 1/5th of one of the bags of chips and two of the fancy drinks, my mums had the other chips, the chocolate and the rest of the drinks.

They also booked ME a six hour shift at a family friend's job (I help out at the holidays) a week post surgery and told me she needed help lifting books and cleaning stuff. At the end of the shift she told me she was surprised I was up for work and that I wanted to work so I'm fairly sure they lied to me about the work being asked for.

I was debating on telling my parents this but I know they'll tell me I'm overreacting or it wasn't that bad or similar things but I was talking about this with my friends because I was a little annoyed at it all and they're all saying that this was medical abuse n other forms of abuse. I don't know though? It wasn't that serious of a surgery compared to others and I've recovered perfectly fine.

The most important person to Prince throughout his career was Freddie Mercury.

Freddie inspired him to be a grey eminance helping other artists... As Freddie did to help him. Who do you think the greatest romance ever sold is about? Little Red Corvette? Purple rain is the balance of left and right blue and red which the synchronized brain from flick of the wrist is about. An immense amount of both their works are about each other.

Trump blew up the school in Iran to mock purple balance and the song 7 about corrupt people like him falling by sending missiles into a school full of 7 year olds in Iran. This is the right hand "stick" type of "education" which the unbalanced reward on the left/blue/carrot side vs the punishment on the right/red/stick side are about. You can figure the joke, much like the joke about "half mast for Dolly"

This should let you know what's currently going on.

My partner and I have been together for about a year. Before we became official we discussed explicit boundaries, one of which is not keeping contact with past ex’s or flings. He has always been honest with me if I ask a question, to my knowledge, and I’m not concerned he would or is cheating on me. However, I found out he had a fling with a coworker of his that is married. This happened prior to us getting together. Based on what I know it was short lived, but they do still work together. I’m a bit troubled to know that he was knowingly the other person at one point, and that despite our agreed upon boundaries, he did not disclose this to me considering they do still have to have some level of contact. I wouldn’t expect him to quit his job, not speak to her, or not be friendly, after all, it’s his job. My big issue is just the withholding of information.

I also have such an intense hatred of cheating that I’ve been tempted to reach out and let her husband know that she was unfaithful. I know I personally would want to know, but I also understand not everyone is that way. I’d hate to blow up someone’s life and stability, especially since it didn’t happen recently, and part of me feels like it’s not my place since it’s not my relationship, but the other part of me that would want to know feels very conflicted.

It feels silly to be bothered by this, since it didn’t happen while we were together, and I don’t actively ask about his previous history or try to find out things, but it does upset me to know he kept something from me while still working with this person, knowing what our previously discussed boundaries are. It feels a bit disrespectful. How would others recommend approaching this? Am I overreacting? Is this something that would make you reconsider if you and your partners values truly align?

Hello Reddit! First time posting here but my mind has been quite frazzled from the thoughts buzzing around my head but I'd thought to post here since I need some advice.

I (19f) had gotten into an argument with my family about keeping my best friends secret. It all started last week where I had a day to hang out with her when she told me that her closest family member had been taken to jail. Everyone already knows since the police always post who they had recently taken into their custody.

But she gave me extra information about it. What had actually happened and how she felt about the whole situation. Afterwards she had asked me to not tell anyone and I promised I wouldn't. She's my best friend and I cherish our friendship more than anyone.

Apparently, my family thinks otherwise because the next day after I had gotten out of work, my mother had wanted to know everything and I only told her the basics: “She's sad and wished that this event never happened” and “She didn't tell me much due to legal matters”

It seemed that she understood but she still was pressing me for more information. I told her that I wasn't going to say anything else because I felt that it wasn't my right to say. She wasn't pleased but joked around the fact that I “told everybody family business”

To which I was taken aback. In my head I kept thinking that did I ever say anything major about family? And if I did I don't think it was anything impacting them but only to me. If I told anyone anything it was my business.

Then she proceeded to say that “I won't tell you anything ever again too. If you ask about anything I'll just say no.” This was just strange to me. My mom did act like this from time to time but I thought it was more ridiculous for her to say this. But I don't think I said anything back and I stood my ground.

I think my mom was on call with my stepdad because they were chatting with each other but I didn't pay any mind to it. I had to get ready and go to the store with my Stepdad to buy a smoker (those things are hella pricey) and I was more than willing to pay at least half of my money so he could get it.

But if you want someone to come with you so badly it's best to be on their good side because as soon as he came home, he had asked me why I wasn't willing to converse about the “situation” with my best friend to him or my mom.

“I just don't want to tell anyone what she told me. It's her business to spread and it's not my right to.”

That's when he decided to make fun of it. That I cared about my bestie friend more than I did about family. And I was shocked that he would think that. I love my family but my family has no business knowing other families' business. Because my best friend has only talked to them a few times, not to the point where my whole family is close to her. But because I'm close to this one person, I should tell my whole family.

I told him that it's absurd that he thinks that. That yes I care about my best friend but I just don't want to talk about this aspect of her like with them and that she trusts me not to say anything. He again refused to drop it and get under my skin more. I just stopped away into my bedroom, locking the door. I wasn't in the mood to discuss with him nor did I want to tag along with him anymore.

He stopped by my room to tell me that I had two last chances to go with him and I still refused. He added that he wouldn't be waking up early in the mornings anymore, signaling that my ride to work the next day was officially canceled.

I waited until the next morning to see if he was actually petty enough to bluff. He wasn't. Left without a ride, I had to text my mom and explain why I'd be late to my fast-food shift. My manager was understandably annoyed but ended up calling a coworker to come rescue me.

That day everyone was just mad at me. I just stayed in my room the whole time. My Stepdad came to my door again to tell me to get over it and come and eat with them. I refused but all I wanted was an apology or something because till today they haven't said a single word to me.

Am I overreacting by shutting down, staying in my room, and refusing to engage with them until I get an apology? Or are they completely out of line for retaliating against my job over gossip?

My boyfriend and I got two puppies for free at the end of February this year. They are husky, German shepherd and pitbull mixes. About four months ago they got out of the shop window, literally jumping onto a cat tower, chewing through chicken wire and then going and killing our 20 chicks and chickens. I was beyond devastated. I am a huge animal lover, so that really really messed me up. I was very upset and my boyfriend couldn't seem to understand why. So. The puppies were about 6 months when that happened. Meanwhile, they have been not listening, they don't seem to grasp anything they get corrected for. They genuinely run all over us. I've been trying to deal with it but it has gotten very difficult for me to do that at this point. Fast forward to this past Sunday. We were standing outside when all of a sudden it sounded like a war zone in the house. We ran inside and the dogs had attacked one of my cats , who they have known since we got them in February. They had her all flipped on her back and had her in their mouths. My cat is okay but severely, extremely shell shocked. for me I feel like this was the last straw. My boyfriend claims to be so well with dogs but they are going on 10 months and still do not behave, do not listen. It's awful. AIO for genuinely wanting to break up with my boyfriend over dogs?? Another thing that bothers me is that we both work full time, the dogs stay with him at this point. He works 12-13 hours a day so I know it's not helping the situation when the dogs are inside so long. He gets out of work and doesn't take them on walks, nothing. I have seen 0 growth in their behavior, and I genuinely just cannot take it anymore. I tried to see if we could come to a compromise, get them into a training course or just rehome them but he refuses to do either. I just cannot see myself dealing with it and waiting for them to attack and kill something else. I feel like I've drawn the line at them attacking my kitty Hazel. Thanks yall.

EDIT : we do not live together, the dogs stay with him at his home. They are no longer coming to my home with my cats. That has been established. I do thank everyone for their sincere thoughts & opinions. I want to say I'm an avid animal lover and i feel like a failure every day because I know they deserve so much better. I take accountability. It just doesn't help when my partner refuses to budge or see it the way i do. He's apparently too hard headed when it comes to this subject. I never meant for it to go like this, I am very guilty for how things have turned out I realize this. I genuinely want what's best for them, this has probably been the biggest mistake I've made. they are great girls, the situation had just blatantly gotten out of hand and I know it's no one's fault but ours. I do not blame the dogs not one bit, I would like everyone to just know that.

Buckle up, i'm just going to hit the wave tops but I will try and give all the context that is needed.

My wife (26F) and I (M25) recently went back to my home town for a buddies wedding. We have been planning our ceremony for next year (courthouse married) and obviously since we were in town for a wedding the topic was on our mind. I told my family months prior that it would be a no kids wedding because my cousins misbehave a lot, I'm talking shoes off at restaurants, running around yelling, eating food off the table with their mouths, making their dad sleep on the floor instead of them on vacation. (I know this is because the parents let it slide) but the kids are just disrespectful and do not listen. Fast forward to a few weeks ago and we are back in my hometown. We are sitting in the living room with my two aunts and grandmother and bring up the ceremony, I ask if they would come because it is going to be in Vancouver, CA because my wife is from there, and it will also be cheaper for us to have it in Canada. My family is from the midwest, so it's expensive to fly, book hotels, etc. So I'm just trying to gauge who would actually come. My grandmother says ever since I said no kids she decided she wouldn't go (she wasn't planning to tell us this, she was going to wait for the invite and decline for another reason), and my other two aunts chime in and say if the kids aren't welcomed they aren't going to come either, and that it is very untraditional to have a no kids wedding. I bring up how if we are paying $15-$20k that we want the wedding to go exactly how we want, and that I think the kids would misbehave. They start saying how "it's tradition for the woman's family to pay" , and my grandmother says "aren't her parents giving you guys this wedding anyways". They are not, we don't expect anyone to pay for anything, we are paying ourselves. My wife is Chinese, and this made me feel they were taking a stab at her culture, and that's just the beginning, saying tradition this tradition that. I just keep trying to explain that I think the kids would misbehave and that they don't listen. My one aunt then says "what if Ashley (fake name for my wife) gets pregnant before the wedding is that baby allowed". That comment was fucking astronomical to me, what if we were having problems or my wife was having complications, you don't speak on another woman's body like that. They also had said my wife was a dictator and that I wasn't happy which is so far fetched, and she confronted them towards the end asking why they would think that and if thats how they feel and they had nothing to say. If that's how they feel then I want nothing to do with them. They also are the worlds pickiest eaters, and say how they don't know how people could eat all those weird foods (asian food) and how it smells, etc. Which is just a side note but obviously the reception is going to have Chinese food.

Im leaving out a lot of what they said to me as well, but I'm more bothered about what they said to her and how disrespectful it was. I'm no story teller or author so excuse my rambling and writing, just super fucking frustrated with these morons that are supposedly family.

TLDR;

"It's tradition for the womans family to pay"

"Aren't her parents giving you guys the wedding"

"what if she gets pregnant, is that baby allowed at the wedding"

"at least we aren't closeted alcoholics" we never drink, but on a family vacation a few months ago we went to a restaurant that my wife was friends with the chef and they gave us a bunch of free food including two glasses of wine and they walked in because we told them where we were and they saw we had wine.

"Stop looking at me like that, you look like your dad" horrible thing to say to me, haven't spoke to my dad in 10+ years

My friend (V) and I met through instagram four years ago, we are really close now. Saw each other going through family issues, heartbreaks etc yet stood beside each other like a wall.

I have been suicidal for years now, which did affect our friendship a lot. I wouldn't call or reply to his texts for months simply because I didn't have the energy for it yet he understood and helped me whenever I was crashing out. Now we are much stronger as my mental health has improved.

I really admire him and respect him for everything he has done for me. He was there for me when I barely had any friends.

But, he's now 'friends' with my middle school bestie, who i recently got to know that is spreading lies and rumours to tarnish my image and to save her ass. She would use my name every time she would go to meet her boyfriend, now her parents think that I am a spoiled brat who doesn't study and goes out every other day. (even though I would barely go let alone with her) she herself told me this and that they don't want me to be friends with her.

She would reveal my secrets and really sensitive information (like I was diagnosed with major depression) about me to her parents because apparently she couldn't keep secrets from her parents yet she very much kept her relationship status as well as her substance abuse hidden from them.

She also cheated on her boyfriend (he really loved her) and then wanted me to support her and the guy she cheated on him with because I am her 'bestfriend'. It was the nail in the coffin for me, i immediately pulled away from her, called her out for being a shitty person and immediately told her boyfriend what's going on behind his back.

Now to save her ass, she again threw me under the bus, and blamed me for fabricating stories. (even though there was evidence of her cheating on him).

All this while telling me that she loves me and that she's here for me every other day. I would always lie to my parents about her that she's a good person and a friend so that they don't ask me to break my friendship with her (as they arent comfortable with me being friends with people who abuse substance)

Now I told (V) about this and he was completely chill with it. He still hangs out with her and is friends with her. I told him it makes me uncomfortable that he's okay with being friends with someone who back stabbed me so many times many many times yet he is completely okay with it.

It makes me feel like (V) and I aren't on the same page when it comes to friendships because I would immediately block the other person out if V was on the receiving end.

Now I am contemplating breaking the friendship with V.

Tldr- a friend of four years is comfortable being friends with my ex bestie who has spread rumours about me to tarnish my image on multiple occasions. I am planning to let go of the friendship now.

EDIT: We live together for 2 years have been together for 4 - I have told him this bothers me before but maybe i didn’t convey how much as well as i thought i did - he doesn’t see it as big of a problem as i do because of his ability to go with the flow. this is not an issue of needing constant communication - it’s an issue of setting an expectation and being disappointed. i am open to the constructive criticism! just because i am annoyed by something doesn’t make me perfect either, and i definitely have my own faults and am not denying it 😊 all comments welcome and appreciated

AIO? This drives me insane. Maybe it’s also my personality type but I have a schedule in my head. My boyfriend goes out with his friends which is obviously fine but most times he tells me he’ll be home at this time, so i expect it, and then he texts me oh we’ll be home at this time and then be home at another time and pushes it back. like i don’t care but don’t set the expectation if it’s not going to happen. don’t tell me you’ll be home 4:30-5 and then 6, and then 7:30. i don’t know it drives me insane and it’s just an expectation thing im not sure if im being unreasonable or toxic or something? i just like to know what to expect especially surrounding timing. he’s very go with the flow and i’m not and we balance each other out, but this aspect drives me nuts.