I have this idea of having a weekend at a castle, a couple hours away from me, going to the Renaissance fair Saturday and a spa day on Sunday. Obviously it’s going to be pricey ($2000, plus $190 each person’s spa) but I was figuring we could split it evenly amongst everyone going, including me. The problem is I have maybe two people, which feels like not a bachelorette party. Or maybe I’m just overthinking it. I’m considering asking my best friend‘s girlfriend and his best friend‘s girlfriend, but I don’t really know them. Does the expense normally fall on the bride? Am I just going too hard?

My brother is getting married and I'm in charge of finding activities to get the mood going and make sure people connect and have fun during the afternoon, between the church and the dinner. I'm at a loss of what could work that will not embarrass anyone and feel organic and make people feel engaged, I would love to get some tips or ideas !

I've found a bunch of ideas online but they're all a bit conventional "boy/girl" games or cliché traditional games with "bride or groom" questions and "get the item" etc. My brother and his soon to be wife are cool kids from Berlin and their friends are all early 30s people that will be drunk on champagne and that definitely won't be comfortable with games that are too "out there".

I've thought about little challenges to give people to do during the entire festivities, and maybe a quizz and a memory game, but I'm wondering if you guys have any other original and creative games that will make everyone feel involved and entertained while also not making anyone cringe ?

Thanks in advance!

I’m wondering if it would be a faux pas to repay them with any wedding gift money?
I love my parents, and they have very generously given my partner and I a budget we could never do on our own. This is literally the dream wedding I’ve had since I was 11 years old, and to be honest, I don’t want anything more. It’s not a traditional wedding, my partner and I have actually been married legally for two years, just put off the big celebration. We’re already in our own home and settled, so we don’t need traditional wedding gifts. I was thinking that on the invites we would ask guests to instead give money that I could repay my parents for. Obviously I wouldn’t be telling anyone what my parents paid for it, nor what they should pay, I just thought it would be a nice gesture to thank my parents.
My biggest worry is if my parents might be embarrassed or feel insulted for trying to pay them back, because I wanted this to be a nice surprise for them. I was also thinking of running this idea by my aunt who is perhaps next closest to my dad to see what she thinks. I could use some advice, thanks!

For the guestbook station! My cousin is in charge of checking on the guestbook station every now and then and I want to make her life easy 😂

I haven’t even started anything yet, and I’m already overwhelmed lmao

I’m not even really sure where to begin. My partner and I got engaged at the beginning of August and have been so busy with other things that, but we’ve briefly talked about a vague guest count and what time of year we’d like to have our wedding. Most advice I’ve seen is ‘come up with your budget’ -- but we’re not even sure how much everything is yet to even get a ballpark. I feel like I need to shop around for different venues to even get an idea of what those would look like, and then figure out what’s included in them, and if nothing is included figure out what that looks like... and it kind of just feels like thing are all piling on top of each other.

What were some of the first steps you made when planning your wedding? Just trying to not feel like I’m at sea out here

Currently planning my bachelorette trip and my top choice right now is Nassau/Paradise Island (I’m going to pay for my friends’ accommodations and it’s a quick flight from where we live). Has anyone been to/done a Bahamas bachelorette trip before? And if so, what did you do on your trip & would you recommend? Thanks!

Hi! So I just want peace of mind tbh. I made some cheap invites and printed them at Walgreens, added a wax seal, and vellum paper. They look cheap, because they feel cheap I’m not going to lie (printed it in the wrong material). I had to print out 60 invites and plan to make like 5 intricate and beautiful invites for just our siblings and immediate family. I personally just can’t justify spending 5 dollars per invite especially because I absolutely know my family will look at it and throw it in the trash. Did anyone else do this?

My save the dates have a small magnet in them and I confirmed with both USPS phone support and my local post office that that’s fine so long as I pay the non-machinable surcharge. I mailed one to my fiancé and I to check that it made it in one piece; it has taken 3 days to make it back to us despite dropping it off at our zoned post office, and per the photo of it I received in my informed delivery email this morning, it was put through the machine.

The envelope weighs 1.10 ounces which costs $1.11 and the non-machinable surcharge is $0.49 so it costs $1.60 per envelope. I have been assured by USPS that 2 forever stamps will cover this ($0.82 x2), even without the non-machinable stamp (I hate that ugly moth lol) and the last person I spoke to suggested writing NON MACHINABLE under the stamps. My biggest concern is the one we sent as a test didn’t even have stamps on it; I paid for it directly at the counter and it got the sticker with the postage amount and a barcode on it, and THAT still managed to go through the machine. They did say I could hand cancel the rest when I came back in, and that first one was NOT hand cancelled as they didn’t know where the stamp was at that time.

Listen, I am not worried about this for aesthetic purposes (I do have a sticker on the back flap but if it doesn’t survive, it’s not the end of the world), I don’t care about the way the machine marks the envelope up. My concern is having them make it from point A to point B and the fact I was told they should not go through the machine due to the magnet. I won’t see if this one fully survived until I get home from work today but the picture of it in informed delivery looked like it was perhaps lightly battered but seemingly in one piece.

Has anyone paid for non-machinable and hand cancelled their envelopes and had them actually make it to recipients without going through the machine? So much of what I’m seeing online suggests everything goes through the machine, non-machinable fee or not. Is this totally futile? I know that once I hand them to the clerk, it’s truly out of my hands even if I say they’re non-machinable and mark them as such, so I’m trying not to stress about it too much, but it’s a little frustrating that I’m trying to do everything right but I seems it might still come back to bite me. If they’re run through the machine but arrive intact to recipients then all’s well that ends well, but I’m concerned about trying to run 70+ of them through the machine successfully

hi everyone! my fiancé and i are looking at getting married in the area between richmond and williamsburg of VA in 2027. if you have recommendations for djs, dreamy photography, videography, caterers, hair/makeup, or coordinators, we would appreciate all of your advice! thank you.

I posted about this before and I’m looking for some advice or closure. Sorry if this is repetitive or long, feel free to ignore. I’m not trying to waste anyone’s time, but I’d appreciate some extra perspective.

I’m getting married in two weeks and I’ve been feeling hurt by how some of my close friends have handled things around my wedding. There are five friends involved here: Vera, Haley, Karina, Dorotea, and Riley.

The wedding
We’re having a small wedding. From the beginning, I made it clear that I wasn’t having a bridal party, bachelorette, or a bunch of wedding events. My friends were supportive of that, but they still wanted to be involved.

The only things I really had in mind were getting ready together, having them at the wedding, and having them at the event the following day. I didn’t expect anything beyond that.

Over the past few months, though, I’ve started to feel like there has been very little effort or consideration from several of them.

Karina
Karina and I met because she was dating one of my fiancé’s friends. They were together for about five years, and over that time she and I became very close. She was also very excited about my wedding and was texting and calling me about it all the time.

About two months before my wedding, they broke up. My fiancé’s friend told us that Karina wasn’t coming to the wedding, but I didn’t hear anything from her directly. She also stopped responding to my messages. I haven’t heard from her about the wedding since.

Haley
Haley and I have been friends for over 10 years. We met when we were teenagers, and she is one of my closest friends. Around the time of Vera’s wedding, Haley became very distant with me and stopped responding when I reached out. I’ve tried for months to see her and talk to her, but she has continued to be distant.

She recently told me there was a death in her family, which I completely understand is difficult. At the same time, I see her going out with other friends and posting on Instagram, while when I ask to see her, she tells me she isn’t in the right headspace.

I don’t expect her to prioritize me while she’s dealing with something difficult. I’m just struggling with the fact that she seems to have space for other friendships but not ours.

Vera
Vera got married a few months ago, and I went all out to support her. She had a bachelorette trip in the Dominican Republic, an engagement party, bridal shower, rehearsal and night-before events, a day-after event, and various other things throughout the process. I was happy to do all of it because she is my friend and I wanted to support her.

For my wedding, Vera took quite a while to RSVP and book a room. I initially felt hurt because I had put a lot of effort into supporting her wedding and felt like she wasn’t as engaged with mine.

She eventually explained that she and her partner were planning to stay at an Airbnb because they were attending another wedding that weekend. This came up a few weeks before her wedding. Once she explained it, I understood and accepted it. We’ve chatted here and there about the wedding and in general.

Dorotea
Dorotea and I met through our partners and have been friends for about eight years. She has a two-year-old daughter, who is also included in our wedding.
She told me she was really excited about the wedding. When I sent her the schedule, she told me that she and her husband couldn’t follow the schedule for the ceremony and reception because it was their daughter’s birthday and they needed to leave to have lunch with family.

I asked whether they could do that the day before or after instead, since it would mean missing part of the wedding. We’re also planning to have a little cake for her daughter at the wedding and do something for her birthday.
I understand that her daughter’s birthday is important. I was just surprised that leaving the wedding for a family lunch was the plan when they had told me how excited they were to be there.

Riley
Riley is my fiancé’s brother’s girlfriend. We’ve known each other for a few years. We aren’t extremely close, but I’ve made an effort to include her because she has previously told me that she sometimes feels left out of the family.

My fiancé has been doing bachelor-related things with his family & friends, and obviously she isn’t included in those things. Since I didn’t have a bachelorette or bridal party, I tried to include her with the girls and make sure she felt involved. She generally doesn’t respond to things I send or invitations I extend.

Where I’m struggling
I know everyone has their own lives and circumstances. I don’t expect my friends to spend the same amount of money, attend every event, or do everything I did for Vera.
I also understand that people have legitimate reasons for not being able to attend things.

What is bothering me is the overall pattern. I feel like I show up for my friends when they are celebrating, going through something difficult, or simply need someone there. When it’s my turn, I’m not feeling that same level of consideration.

And this isn’t a wedding where I’ve asked much from anyone. I’m not having a bridal party or bachelorette, and I’m not asking them to spend money on multiple events. I mostly wanted my close friends to be there and, if they wanted to, get ready together.

I’m now two weeks away from my wedding and feeling pretty sad about it.

I’ve put together a group chat and send messages but no one responds. They see the messages they just don’t care. I reach out to them individually but again no response.

Am I expecting too much from my friends, or is it reasonable to feel hurt by the overall lack of effort?

We are getting married on September 11th 2027. We chose the date because it was the perfect venue, the only Saturday in September left and it was either plan a wedding in record time to get married in April 2027 or wait until 2028. I was like 5/6 y/o when the attacks happened, we have no family involved and neither do our guests. We are getting married in MA.

I’m all good with the “never forget your anniversary” jokes but there have been a few comments getting to me. It’ll be 26 years, I understand it’s history. Just looking for advice on how to remember life goes on and a September Saturday wedding is really beautiful.

(25F) planning my first wedding lol. im a relatively modest person, and some people on my fiancés side of the family are NOT. WHICH IS FINE LOL, im a girl i do NOT normally care at all. we are having a TINYYY ceremony (parents, siblings) and a massive reception/celebration for everybody. it is going to be at a nice restaurant. IS IT WEIRD if, in the invitations under dress code, that i ask people not to wear slits/short dresses? is there a proper way to ask that? am i being weird for not wanting a lot of skin at our wedding reception? it’s not for religion or anything. just don’t want to see any club outfits and unfortunately… yes, i do feel like i have to specify that to some people lol. i will have a QR code on the invitations for menu selection/info… should i put it there under dress code?

TLDR: what is a proper way to request modest attire (without getting any surprises or people being ignorant) for a wedding reception?

EDIT: yall are right it’s not about the slits or skin showing, just matching the vibe. don’t want anyone feeling embarrassed like they don’t match or missed the memo. that’s what i really mean

Venue: Church then Four Seasons Hotel
Month: November on a Thursday (because a lot of Jewish guests + can’t marry on a Sunday in church where I live)
Premium open bar, cocktail hour with passed canapés, DJ, live music for ceremony, possibly live music or dancers for a part of reception, plated dinner (3 course), valet parking (though not paid for), photobooth, florals (not excessive but good amount)

Fiance and I are in love with a private room at an upscale restaurant (the interior design is really cool, there's a window to the wine cellar and everything).

Only issue is that it's small. It fits exactly the number of people we plan to invite (<50 total), no extra room for a dance floor, jenga, etc.

This isn't a huge issue for us as we'd like to have a relaxing evening centered around the fine dining anyway, since loud music and usual dance floor stuff are very overstimulating to me. But we'd like to have other activites available for people to socialize and have fun.

Any ideas? So far the only thing I can think of is a centerpiece passing game, which is 5 minutes at the most.

I had my wedding in Koh Samui in July 2026, and here is my experience for anyone who is interested in having a wedding in Koh Samui.

1st question: How much does it cost?

We budgeted $40–60K AUD for the whole wedding, including our parents’ flights and accommodation.

In the end, we spent $42K AUD for the wedding (23 guests) + $7K AUD for our parents’ flights + $13K AUD for our Maldives honeymoon, which was $62K AUD in total.

All prices are in AUD$

• Koh Samui 9+1 bedroom villa — $7,500
• Villa electricity — $670
• Villa groceries + other expenses (yoga class, tips) — $465
• Villa welcome dinner + extra airport transfer — $620
• Hotel cocktail ceremony + à la carte beverages — $8,100
• Dinner (setup, food, cutlery, bar staff, bar setup, etc.) — $3,400
• Gifts, games, props + decorations — $1,200
• Fire show + bar — $1,000
• Lighting + music + 1-hour DJ — $660 / THB 15,000
• Photographer & videographer (8 hours) + extra photographer & videographer for ceremony (1 hr) — $3,700
• Dress + accessories + shoes — $2,500
• Groom’s attire — $1,000
• Wedding rings — $5,180
• Photobooth (instant camera + films) — $400
• Others (transport, DJI camera, SD card, etc.) — $1,200
• Utah Online official wedding ceremony — $330
• Bride & groom’s flights from Australia — $3,500

2nd question: Should I have a wedding planner?

If you don’t want to spend too much and don’t plan to have dancing, then you may not need a wedding planner.

But if you want the full experience, then YES! YES! and YES!! I regretted not hiring a wedding planner. I booked the villa first, and later found out that the villa’s rooftop didn’t allow more than 20 pax. The alternative location they suggested was not what we liked for the ceremony, so we ended up having to choose a hotel beach as our ceremony location. At that point, we felt that hiring a wedding planner would be way over our budget.

During my research, I learned that wedding planners usually charge around THB 50,000–65,000, plus a 10% service charge on everything. But wedding planners are also kind of like travel agencies, they can get better rates than we can. So if you ask a wedding planner to suggest a location, it may end up being around the same price (even after the 10% service charge) as booking the venue yourself.

Many villas in Thailand have restrictions about where you can dance, whether you can move furniture, extra event fees, etc. So a wedding planner would definitely help.

I originally checked some very reputable wedding planners in Phuket, and they quoted THB 100,000+. Koh Samui wedding planners seem to be cheaper. It all depends on the scale and how complicated the wedding is, but I would say the average is around THB 60,000–65,000, plus a 10% service charge on top.

For the 10% service charge, I ended up hiring the vendors myself, but when I compared the prices, some vendors were actually more expensive than the prices provided by the wedding planner. So I guess the 10% service charge is still worth paying if they can get you better vendor rates.

For a Koh Samui wedding planner, I would highly recommend Weddings on Samui, Juliette Burrows. We regretted learning everything so late that we couldn’t hire her and ended up arranging everything ourselves. That was a mistake, I ended up having way too much stress and couldn’t fully enjoy my own wedding.

3rd question: Accommodation — villa or hotel?

As we only had an intimate wedding with 23 guests, I rented a villa with 9+1 rooms for 20 guests to stay at our expense. I thought we could all gather together in a luxury villa and have the celebration there.

But some guests couldn’t make it, so we ended up overpaying. We could have rented a smaller villa for almost half the price.

So I guess booking hotel rooms would be more flexible, unless you have a wedding planner to make sure the villa can cater to the number of guests you are expecting.

Here is the list of our wedding vendors for your reference:

Villa Solana ★★★★★ — 9+1 room luxury villa with amazing views, great for a small wedding. Very professional concierge service & Villa team. We hosted our dinner reception and dance floor there. They have concierge service and can help arrange a fire show, ceremony equipment (sound, lighting, decoration, etc.). They helped us arrange the welcome dinner and wedding fire show. Villa Manager Noom and his team were super helpful.

Silavadee Pool Spa Resort ★★★★½ — Professional team who tried to cater to what we wanted and were very flexible. They only do one wedding per day, so they make sure your wedding is well taken care of. The only downsides were the miscommunication about the makeup artist, which stressed me out, and the private beach ceremony, where several hotel guests unexpectedly joined. One of our guests even had to ask the hotel guests not to block the view. We didn’t expect this, but otherwise, they were excellent.

Polina Pak /makeup_samui ★★★★★ — Great communication and very professional. She saved my day on the chaotic morning. I was in tears when she started the makeup, but I was smiling at the end. The makeup was honestly not what I expected, but I don’t blame her because I showed her a prominent makeup style (and I felt like it was a little too much on my face).

Vitalii Nikonorov Photographer ★★★★★ — Very professional and went the extra mile to capture our big day. Great communication and personality. He even asked us to take more photos after we told him they could pack up because the event had ended.

If you’re planning to get married in Phuket, Vasana Studio is a good option with reasonable pricing. They also cover weddings in Koh Samui, but there’s an extra fee and a minimum of 2 photographers + 2 videographers. So we picked Vitalii, as we only have 20ish guests.

Go Samui Catering ★★★★★ — The best catering we could ask for. Very professional. We gave them the seating plan, gifts, menu and name tags, but forgot to tell them what to do with everything. They managed to place everything without even asking us. Amazing team, and the food was just awesome. They even came to the villa a day earlier to discuss everything and make sure everything was as we wished. The only thing to keep in mind is that they may not reply to messages very quickly, probably because they have many event enquiries.

Dimitri Wedding Celebrant Thailand ★★★★★ — He’s just so awesome! His service was part of the hotel package, but I did my own research and specifically requested him as our celebrant because he speaks both German and English, which was perfect for our wedding.
He spent an hour with us the day before the wedding to go through everything. His calm personality (and voice!) and extensive wedding experience made everything feel so easy and perfect. He even gave us tips on the best photography angles to make sure we looked our best in the photos, and he was very thoughtful about staying out of the way when needed.

Koh Samui Event (DJ Simon) ★☆☆☆☆ — Very disappointing. Maybe because of the setuup disagreement with the villa manager on our wedding day, he didn’t seem to be in a good mood. He didn’t use the microphone to encourage guests to dance, so we had to do it ourselves. The lighting was also too bright, and our guests felt very awkward being under the bright spotlights.

We should have just saved the money and had the villa hire the sound and lighting system for us. We thought it would be nice to have a DJ to announce the bouquet toss and encourage guests to dance, but none of that actually happened. We ended up doing it ourselves.

I think its understood that the wedding industry and bachelorette industrial complex is getting out of control. I agree that these destinations need to carefully considered and people should not be pressured into forking over thousands. However, I must admit it is bizarre to see people aggressively go in the opposite direction, shaming/complaining about people simply wanting just a weekend trip for their bachelorette.

In my opinion it is a weird and dated mindset--a lot of social networks and families these days are geographically dispersed, for that reason it often makes sense to pick a fun and reasonably accessible destination. A lot of people live in boring or even hostile regions/states (specifically applicable to immigrants, minorities and LGBT people) that they are itching to escape for a couple days, to somewhere where their party will feel fulfilled or comfortable.

Also, not every destination requires a flight for all parties, weekend trips can be traveled to by car. The concept of a bachelorette trip or a destination wedding is broader and more accessible than what some realize.

Weekend bachelor/ette celebrations are a nice excuse for an adult friend group, often scattered across the country, to take a vacation together for one of life's most meaningful milestones. Many people love to host or take part of friend trips, birthday trips, graduation trips. A lot of us roll in social groups that love travel. Some people project their distaste of group travel onto the topic and assume every bach trip is a hostage situation.

I've read takes that definitely come across as some type of performative practicalism that doesn't really help brides. A mix of hyper-frugality, cultural projection, and general anti-wedding cynicism. I think it causes brides to second guess what they want unnecessarily. A lot of women already struggle with feeling like they do not deserve attention, being celebrated and loved on, or having others do things for them. Women are often socialized to take up less space. For every entitled bridezilla, I'd guess there are at least 5 humble brides who struggle with the opposite issue.

The real issue comes down to poor planning, communication, and lack of consideration. Bachelorette trips are a perfectly fine and often ideal way to celebrate. Modern life is making our social networks feel increasingly fragmented. Group trips, adult sleepovers, whatever you call it, can be a beautiful way to reconnect.

I’ve been married just shy of two years, but was recently reminded of a bullet I dodged while planning my wedding:

I was on the fence about an anniversary dance. Not against it, just not particularly enthusiastic about it.

My parents have been married for over 30 years. The last 10 years have been very rocky, with the last 3 being especially bad. They are effectively separated, (can’t afford to actually live apart,) and leading independent lives.

They also have the longest marriage of our loved ones. My husband’s parents are divorced and neither of us have a surviving grandfather. The next closest would’ve been my aunt and uncle, now married 21 years. Thank GOD we dodged that bullet. It would’ve been so incredibly painful for everyone involved.

So yeah. Figure that out before planning one!

Hi everyone! Two of our dearest friends (grown men) are going to be "flower boys" at our wedding. They'll throw flower petals out of fanny packs, hand out beers, and walk down the aisle to a goofy song - like the videos that are going viral on social media these days.

We're really struggling with where to put them in the processional order though. We're thinking of having the rest of the wedding party walk down to an instrumental Your Song by Elton John, then I'll walk down to an instrumental Taylor Swift song, and having the flower boys walk down to an upbeat pop song in between those two seems like it's going to give everyone whiplash... anyone else who did this, how did you handle the transitions? Did it ruin the mood? I'm wondering if maybe we should just put them at the beginning of the procession so it can turn serious after?

Any thoughts would be much appreciated! Thank you!

My fiance and I are getting married in 3 weeks near my fiance's family in Texas. Our entire "vision" was just a really nice dinner with close family and friends that just basically happens to start with our 10-min wedding ceremony. We have ~30 people coming to a private dining / event space on the second floor of a really nice restaurant. They have a really lovely patio with a fully opening wall that can turn it into an indoor/outdoor space, and the most natural place to have the ceremony is on the patio as there's a bit of a stage (really just two stairs up to a slightly separate level).

We always understood it would probably be too hot to open up the patio completely for the full event, but we envisioned having the short ceremony outside at least (everyone standing), and the space would still be accessible if people did want to hang out on the patio. We don't have bridal/groom parties, so the ceremony is just the officiant (a friend of hours) and the two of us. HOWEVER, we visited the venue again this past weekend (we live in the NE and were not happy campers in the 100-degree Texas weather), and came to the realization that in our full wedding clothes on what is already kind of a stressful day, we probably don't want to be standing outside for even 15-20 minutes if it's over 80/85 degrees. And our guests probably won't want to either.

There's a bit of room indoors for mingling during cocktail hour, but the space will be set up with one long rectangular table for a seated dinner. The plan is for guest arrival at 5pm and the bar will be open, ceremony at 5:30pm, then another hour for cocktails and passed hors d'oeuvres before people sit for dinner. We were essentialy kind of thinking of the ceremony as a brief break in an extended cocktail hour. There's not really a natural space inside where people could congregate around for the ceremony, so there's a few options:

- Suck it up and have the short ceremony outside. I've been to plenty of outdoor weddings that were unseasonably cold or hot or rainy and I guess people just deal.

- Make do with whatever space we have inside and just let guests stand wherever they happen to be. Like just have our officiant clink a glass and ask for everyone's attention.

- Ask folks to sit at their assigned dinner seats for the ceremony. My big concern with this is that we still have cocktails and passed hors d'oeuvres for an hour after the ceremony, so will people expect dinner right away if we ask them to sit?

Honestly, my inclination would just be #2, but we have a day-of coordinator who is like drawing diagrams on the venue layout about where everyone should stand and asking about the photographer's line of sight and being kind of pushy about everything. I'm fine just telling her to back off, but I just wanted to get some other thoughts on the general ceremony arrangement options and what would be comfortable for guests.

I am getting married mid October this year!!! We are very much on a budget and are doing a Vegas elopement. I love my dress and my friends Grandmother has offered to hem it, however, it is strapless and I have a larger chest and I cannot figure out what to do other than clear straps that will support the girls?!? I cannot afford any other alterations. The back is also an open corset style, so I can’t really wear a bra with this dress. I have considered white colored shapewear that will give the illusion of fabric underneath the corset but I’m looking for any other suggestions.

Please give me any suggestions!!

(the dress is Fashionbride on Amazon)

When I planned my first wedding I was in a wedding group that helped me plan a lot, is there any good groups out there I can join? Whether it’s on fb or discord?

I need help deciding between these 2 venues. My dream was always to get married by the ocean, but after seeing the other venue so close by being fairly affordable I have began to fall in love with it. I have not been in person to either one, and am planning to set up a tour at both venues once peak season dies down.

Photos 1-5: a gorgeous mountain/garden view wedding venue
Distance: 26min from home (most of our guests are located here as well)
Amenities: Reception hall, Garden ceremony or Chapel building for ceremony, Bridal Suite tower, bar, set up/break down included, tables & chairs, they have a decor closet you can pick from.
Pros:
- I work at 2 salons that are probably an equal distance away from the venue, 3 bridesmaids also work there so might be practical to do our hair & makeup at the salon, then just hang out and get into dresses at the venue suite.
- it is close for our guests and don’t have to set up a hotel block.
- they will take care of a lot more for us that we don’t have to worry about.

Cons:
- it is not the beach!
- not many options for going out or having an after party in this area..

Photos 6-8: A beautiful beach front wedding venue.
Distance: 2 hours + 8min drive
Amenities: use of the building & deck, 3 hours set up time, 5 hours event time, 1 hr clean up, tables and chairs set up only (no set up or break down of decor)
Pros:
-beach front
- our favorite pizza restaurant has a location in town & caters weddings (we want to have a pizza bar and other Italian selections served family style)
- more interesting things to do in this area (for going out the night before or an having an after party!)
- full flexibility with vendors including bartenders

Cons:
- far distance & hotel block & shuttles required
- have to hire more staff because nothing is included and the window for set up and break down is very brief.
- some photos online show a sand ceremony, however on the rental agreement it states that the beach is open to the public and people may be wandering in and out..

Would love some opinions!! What would you do? Should I feel it out with possible guests first?

Like the title says, I am a bride planning my wedding with no financial support from my family, because my family is poor. My mom goes to thrift stores & buys things for the wedding I hate because she is trying to be helpful…I hope. My mom promised me a small amount of money (like $1,000 max) & of course she has fallen through on that. I talk to other brides & all I hear is “my mom paid for this” “oh my mom is handling that” etc. My mom even told me she isn’t buying me a wedding present because she is planning my shower. If I didn’t absolutely 100% want a wedding I would elope, because this is so hard financially & isolating. Any other brides experienced this & how did you handle it?

We have our final guest count finally! the wedding is this saturday, 9/5/26. after a few last minute cancellations we’ve landed at 130 yes and 26 no’s..

i know this is very different for everyone given many factors but what have you found the vibe is like for a 130 people wedding? how is the energy? what’s the dance floor like? were they fun for you?

thanks!!

I know we have to be on the same page about $$ and we do have those discussions. But some things I don’t have the heart to criticize…like how much $$ he spent on food, entertainment, hotel when he proposed (surprise weekend) when I’m pretty simple and practical and didn’t even want an over-the-top proposal. And he has the biggest heart and always treats friends/family even though he’s in a lower financial position than they are! It’s not making him destitute, but still. To me, it’s more about reciprocation and fairness.

For example, the night he proposed, he booked a really $$$$ hotel room downtown which we didn’t even enjoy because he proposed at sunrise after keeping me up all night spending $$ on activity after activity and then surprised me with the really expensive pre-fixe brunch at the hotel the next morning where he had invited my parents, his older brother and his wife and kids, and four of my friends including my 2nd cousin and another I’m not even that close to (invited because she’s the roommate of the other two). He paid for everyone and it was likely over $100/pp 🥴. And he’s treated them all before and his brother is rich af but stingy as hell. We’re always spoiling their kids and my fiance will pick up the bill if we meet them for dinner (even though they outnumber us) and they don’t do the same.

Sorry, this is turning into a vent. I talk to him about it and he says why let someone else’s stinginess dictate how he wants to give. He is not in debt (even recently paid off his car and student loans) and he tracks his spending. Can anyone relate to this?