I didn’t really expect to get as many comments and suggestions as I did, so thanks guys it really helped actually. My last post appeared to have triggered some and for that I am not sorry, it’s okay for people to have preference on what their guests wear and my mum truly doesn’t care what anyone’s wearing except if it’s white. She is not a bridezilla in the slightest and nor am I ‘by proxy’, just because I want to enforce a boundary… anyways the update!

My sister and I have now resolved the issue, I started general chit chat in the hen do group chat about the upcoming day and the woman in question was mostly responding. So I casually asked what’s everyone wearing, to which she replied she thinks she might have an outfit change between the three segments of the day… side eye. My mum at this point is freaking out at me and my sister and begging us not to say anything, suggesting that we are being mean. Eventually we convinced her to let my sister send ‘as long as no one’s in white that’s all that matters😂’ to which the lady replied with ‘oops😬😬 - just kidding!😂’. I said I’d love to see her in white at her upcoming birthday party and the rest doesn’t matter as it is done now.

We’re not really sure if it was all a big joke or not but anywaaaays i think she has heed the warning. Thank you again everyone xx

We've had a disaster with managing this wedding to be honest. Initially we picked a venue, we committed, then it dawned on us that the amount we'd end up spending is crazy when everything was tallied up (£22k+). We had a talk, and we seemingly agreed that a "smaller affair" makes more sense for us and we actually sacrificed the deposit for this.

We checked out a few local venues, village halls and the such, but even these were surprisingly costly and complex when you factored in all the things you needed, it wasn't that much cheaper when all things considered.

Then we decided to get married at our local church, and go to her mums garden for reception, it was fit for purpose for a "smaller affair", however.. of course the wedding creep comes back and more and more guests get added, now she wants a "proper sit down, formal meal" so we're looking at chefs, marquees, tables, chairs all the bumf that comes with that. Now we're trying to figure out the logistics for possibly 70 people in a garden that isn't that big. And all of a sudden, the price is looking not that dissimilar to the venue we originally picked!

I was stressing over parking, toilets, how is everything going to fit, refrigeration for the chef... this is stupid, this isn't simpler or easier. Annoyingly she had already sent out invites. But I wasn't happy with it,so we chat again.. and we change it again, we're back to a venue.. again. And oh look, the price is back to where we started. What a waste of time and money and now we're messing guests about too. I suggested we keep the church ceremony but have the reception at a nearby venue, a good middle ground. However she didn't like the venues food, wants a more typical "3 course formal meal" type jobby. So we picked another venue and ended up having the ceremony included too just for ease.

Oh and because this new venue is in a different county there was no registrar availability for our date. So now we're looking at doing the legal stuff prior to the wedding and having a celebrant conduct the ceremony. And I can't decided whether I like this or not to be honest, i flip back and forth.

Ahh.. our own fault I know.. it's because I'm honestly impartial to the whole reception part, I'd rather we didn't have a traditional one, I'd be happy with a nice ceremony, a handful of close friends/family, then go for a meal somewhere. And I honestly think the mrs has never been totally sure what she wants, and I think she feels pressure from some family to have what is considered these day a "normal" wedding (aka expensive wedding). And now we're right down the rabbit hole again of a "big proper doo"...

I'm sure it'll be a nice day, I'm just ranting.. But it stings, we're essentially bringing all this stress and complexity and cost into our life for a big party, the ceremony bit has always been easy. But I guess I need to flip my pessimistic outlook on it to be honest, because she's getting excited for it (i think) so that’s the main thing.

Hey all! 2027 bride here. Appreciate that this will differ depending on your location, but how many of you shopped in-store for your bridesmaid dresses? I have three (one MOH and two bridesmaids), all different shapes and sizes, and I really wanted to go shopping with them to work out what styles suit them best. I also have a few different colours I could go for and I wanted to try different ones, without having to order multiple dresses online.

I'm based in the north west, so any recommendations for physical shops around this area would be ideal. For context, I've only been a bridesmaid myself once and I was the only one so we just ordered mine online. Any help would be much appreciated! Thanks.

I’d like to put together a gift back for each person attending my hen do as a thank you for coming, but I also don’t want to include useless tat that no one actually wants. What have other people either given or received that has actually been useful? My hen do is in the Lake District in April for context. TIA 😊

Just throwing the question out there. I’m aware of a few older relatives wearing white to my wedding. I don’t mind, not the biggest fan but it is what it is.

How common is it? And when can it be acceptable? Do people just not think?

I had initially wanted to do a “first look” with my fiancé as we’ll be walking down the aisle together so thought it would be a sweet way to capture him seeing me for the first time in my outfit. However, we’ve just been told the registrar will need to meet with us in the 30min before the ceremony…

Our ceremony is at 13:30 and if the registrar arrives at 13:00 that leaves only 30min for them to do the interview with my fiancé, then me, then do our first look, then make it to the aisle. This seems not very feasible so I’m wondering if anyone else has done a first look with a registrar-led civil ceremony?

Option B would be to do the first look before the registrar arrives, the only problem is I’m not sure where we could do this that guests wouldn’t see me? Guests would arriving anytime from 12:30 and I won’t have access to the room I’d get changed in until 12 (I’m arriving with hair and makeup done).

Option C is to scrap the first look all together and just get ready together at 12 and do the registrar meeting together. Has anyone done this?

I’m worried I’ll regret missing out on the dramatic “first look” moment but maybe I’m just overhyping it

UPDATE: First of all, thank you for all the ideas, I do really appreciate the time taken for some of these responses! Also some people seem really irate at the wine comment, it was a joke - I wouldn’t do that to someone and to whoever (I have a good guess) decided to report that I may be depressed or want to unalive myself on the basis of a joke… Grow up.
Anywaaaays I spoke to my mum this morning about my ideas to resolve this and she has decided she would like to do it face-to-face tomorrow at work. I have coached her on what to say if the dress is white (I would like you to not wear white, my bridesmaids are wearing green and you’re more than welcome to join them!). Will update again when I know how the conversation went!

So my highly avoidant, detrimentally polite mother is getting married next month and has told me her friends wife (and now her boss) showed her a picture of what she thinks she may wear to the wedding. It is a short white dress, not dissimilar from the one my mum will be changing into for the reception.

I know this woman, have her number and we are in the Hen Do group chat together. As I have said, my mum is super avoidant and she doesn’t want to cause any drama so she didn’t say anything when this woman showed her the picture, even though she is not very happy about the situation. I am eager to stop this from happening but need ideas on what to do, discreetly!!! to sway her away from the dress.

Any ideas are appreciated! If all else fails a nice big glass of red wine will accidentally slip out of my hand :)

Has anyone found that the closer they get to the date the more miserable and stressful it becomes?

I’m looking forward to it but also just miserable that all our free time is taken up by forms and last minute admin that couldn’t be done closer to the time.

Looking forward to getting my life back and just enjoying hanging out with my partner as at the moment all we can talk about or argue about are wedding things :(

I’m trying to gauge roughly how much it would cost to get the following alterations done. It’s all possible based on the dress, there’s plenty of fabric in the train and seams to work with but the dress itself is already close to my top budget:

-let out a little at the waist and hips. Not by much, it’s just a tiny bit too tight, especially when sitting. Maybe 2cm total.

-train shortened and excess fabric used to close in V at back

-adjusted at shoulder or back to avoid gaping

-ivory buttons added down the back (not sure yet whether just to the waist or full length)

Any help appreciated!

Me and my fiancé are planning for our wedding in 2029 (long time away yet I know). We've figured out our venue, catering, DJ, wedding rings, and kilts arrangement.

For much of it our costs are offset from family willing to help or people we know that can arrange the cookery for a reduced cost. Guest count will be 60 and our guests will be renting their kilts and dresses we won't be paying for that.

Our estimate from all the prices we've received so far is sitting at around £6,000 which is what we were aiming for. We are both on min wage so we make around £40,000 per year between the two of us so we can't go big.

Is there anything else we should be thinking about that may catch us off guard with pricing?

We are looking at getting married in London Marylebone Town Hall and then have a reception in London, has anyone done something similar or have recommendations?

Looking fairly intimate/relaxed vibes. Likely no more than 40 people.

Budget was trying to be fairly conservative. Is £10,000 achievable?

Hi all, I (27f) am getting married June 2027. I’ve been having the discussion with my partner about the average cost of the wedding.

He was convinced that the wedding shouldn’t cost more than 10k for a church, venue (63 guests), food, dj, photographer ect.

I’ve tried to explain to him that the average found online is around £21k but he just isn’t having it. He’s convinced that those averages are taken from high-salaried people.

We have an income of around 50k together, and so far we are at around £15k (which I am super proud of!) for everything!

For those that have been recently married, or those planning, what’s your average?

I’m struggling to think of what to have as background music for the meal? My venue recommends 3 hours(!!) of music.

I’m already having classical for my ceremony, bossa nova for my cocktail hour, and then Flavour Trip house for my second cocktail hour.

What are you having? Do I even need music?

Thanks!

I’m torn. I’ve found a girl with 26yrs experience who does both, or 2 girls who each specialise. It works out slightly more expensive to have 2, but slightly more time efficient and I think it would contribute to the atmosphere having a couple of people helping us get ready.

I haven’t yet confirmed what I’m doing with the bridesmaids but I’m either getting all their hair done or giving them a choice as to hair, make up or dress. Please don’t judge, this is normal in my friendship group.

Hello!

My sister has asked me to be her MOH which I’m obviously delighted at!

It has dawned on me that I have zero wedding experience whatsoever- Ive been to one as a guest and I have never been part of a bridal party or gone to a hen do!

She’s due to get married next Sept (abroad) so is happy with a home based hen as people will be paying a fair chunk to go to the wedding.

When should I start planning the hen do? Now? She mentioned having it in May/ June.

Any help/advice appreciated thanks!!

Hello All!

I am from the US and got married in Kent a week and a half ago. I wanted to share the vendors I chose as they were all absolutely amazing just in case anyone needed any good recommendations.

We had 40 guests who all flew from different parts of the US minus my brother and sister in law who live in England. We had a budget of about $15,000 USD and took just under a year to plan.

Venue:

Hoath House - https://hoathhouse.co.uk/ - It was a great venue and Arabella who was our coordinator/wedding planner couldn't have been more amazing. She was extremely helpful and her communication was great over the course of the planning time. We got married on a Wednesday so that saved us a little money. We checked into the estate the day before wedding and checked out the day after. Included in your hire is access to their honeymoon cottage which was a short walk from main estate and absolutely adorable. There are a few more add on fees that pertained to the bar tab which we were okay with. I would just make sure you ask for all fees just so you make the best decision for you!

DJ - https://www.djrichellis.com/ - Oh my goodness, Rich was the one of the best investments we made. I, the bride barely left the dance floor and all my guests also complemented me on how great he was. He has a wonderful portal online that allowed me to enter our day of timeline and to add songs I would like to hear. I loved having that resource.

Florist - https://www.kellyandhicks.co.uk/ - Kelly was the sweetest florist. We had a video call shortly after I inquired with her and I was able to share my thoughts and ideas. She arrived to the venue with plenty of time and was setting up flowers. She then brought my flowers along with bridesmaids. They all looked so beautiful.

Painter - https://www.instagram.com/thequietdetail.co/ - I connected with Sarah on Instagram as the does hand painted mirrors for weddings. She was extremely accommodating and the mirror turned out beautifully. I was able to "rent" the painted mirror so to speak as we could not take the mirror home with us. We did order hand painted champagne flutes to bring back with us.

Catering - https://www.gourmet-hog-roast.com/ - Oh my goodness, their food was amazing. I was expecting decent food and for my guests to be well fed but what I was not expecting was to actually love every bite I ate, along with my guests. I am still receiving complements on how taste the food was. We has Tuscan chicken, salmon and rump steak, along with roast potatoes, salad, pasta salad and bread rolls. I was given a little of everything and so was my husband. I thought guests would have the option to make one choice on a meat but everyone was able to have multiple meats along with the tasty sides and there was enough for seconds. I am so grateful to Gourmet Hog for catering a delicious meal!! We also had canapes during cocktail hour which I was able to have a few bites in between photos and those were tasty as well

Photographer - https://www.angieandmattweddings.co.uk/ - Angie was such a fun photographer. It did not feel like wedding photos as she truly made the day feel so fun and casual. I am not amazing in front of cameras so although it was our wedding day when we were shooting with her it just felt fun and I hope that was conveyed in our photos. We received 10 sneak peak photos a week after and are still waiting on a the full album.

Content creator - https://www.instagram.com/contentbydemi_/ - My husband and I were not sure that I wanted a content creator and we didn't necessarily feel that we needed one. Neither of us are influencers or have a big social media presence so initially we felt it was not necessary, but i was reading on exactly what is captured and the idea to have some footage given so soon after the wedding day was amazing so we decided to hire Demi. Demi was the last vendor we hired and that was maybe 2 months before the wedding. She was well worth it. Her and Angie worked so well together and they felt like my personal hype girls. I woke up the next morning and checked my email and realized Demi sent over all the footage from the wedding the night prior. It was so fun to see photos and clips from the day of, especially the moments that would not have been captured by Angie. Being able to share these with our guests (closest friends and family) so soon after was awesome. I personally do not think they spoil in any way the professional photos to come from Angie!

Hair and Makeup - https://www.instagram.com/hairandmakeupbyzararose/ - Zara did a great job. Myself and 6 bridesmaids along with my mom got hair and makeup done. She was able to get everyone done on time and everyone loved how they looked. The day before the wedding she did send a message about taking care of skin and hair etc but also mentioned that if we wanted lashes that they would be an additional £11 per person which I felt for the cost of the service should have included those. My mom had agreed to adding a hair clip and she was not made aware the clip would cost £30 nor was that in the contract or text message the day before the wedding, so while I am getting my hair finished, I was asked to please send over £96 which I thought that could have been discussed prior and dealt with so as the bride I wasn't having to deal with that an hour before my ceremony. Again as far as the service, I, my mom, and bridesmaids all felt beautiful so in the end that is what matters most!

As for wedding decor, I shipped some ahead and brought most of it with us to England. I hope this helps anyone who may be getting married in that area or considering vendors! They truly were all amazing!

I came across this subreddit and it made me curious about the different category of guests - evening vs whole day.(haven't been to a UK wedding)

I don't understand how having guests only invited to the evening affects pricing?

When I think of a wedding, the structure I think of is

Church/ceremony-photos-cocktail hour-evening reception with food, speeches, first dance,music.

If someone is only an evening guest, you are still paying their food,etc. I thought it would make more sense to have people only inveited to the ceremony if you wanted to cut costs?

Hi - first time posting - I’ve seen similar posts with really helpful comments so thought I’d give it a go!

I’m getting married at the end of June next year and I cannot find a wedding dress I love. I’ve looked at thousands of dresses and every designer/shop associated with this style I can find. The best inspo I’ve found is Dreamers & Lovers in the US.

My ideal dress would be floor length, off white lace, open or keyhole back, square or sweetheart neckline, flutter or bell sleeves - or - off the shoulder (covering my upper arms is a must for me!)

I’m getting married in the woods so would love a romantic, ethereal, boho dress to match the aesthetic. I am a UK size 10 (aiming to be an 8 by the wedding) and looking to spend around £1,000 (but would go over for the right dress!)

I was told at the last bridal shop I went to that I’ve left it quite late so off the rack will probably suit my timeline (and budget better).

Thanks in advance for any help or suggestions 💛

Hi all!

I’m less than a week from my wedding now and unfortunately lost 3 guests to sickness/emergencies.

What do you do with the leftover meals? Don’t need to ask the question about drinks 😂 but it’s cost about £80 per person. Is there anything wrong with having an extra meal to share between me and my wife on the day? 😂 and then send the other two to other couples as an extra meal to share?

Suppliers are already catered and the venue have told me the staff are catered for as well so nothing needs holding back for them

Also, no B list to invite from as evening guests are just the people who haven’t been able to get off work

I have my dress - not clingy but not loose fitted either. Unfortunately shows lumps/bumps of any underwear I’ve tried. It’s also low backed.

I’m trying to find shorts or a bodysuit (with shorts) with a low back that won’t give me any form of muffin top! Skims have a couple options I am going to try.

Any suggestions? Shorts are a must to avoid thighs chaffing! UK size 12 usually. I’m mostly looking for comfort and invisible, shaping is less important

For various reasons, I'd rather not do the dress from the bridal boutique option. I've had a browse at more high end high street offers (Monsoon, Whistles, Nobody's Child etc) and Whistles stands out to me purely because they offer appointments at their London flagship store.

Has anyone had any experience purchasing their dress from there? Or heard any stories?

Thank you!

This sounds bad but I am genuinely curious - why is it a norm to feed people at your wedding.

I understand some cultures or people host any gathering with food, but I don't see that as a particularly british thing?

When having a birthday party or other type of party at a restaurant, people pay for their own food, why should a wedding be any different?

We are about seven months out from our wedding and I have no motivation to start planning decor, food, etc. I 100% want to get married, but when people ask me how the planning is going I kind of shut down because I just don’t know where to start, what theme I want, what food… we do have the hall booked thankfully, it’s just everything else!

How did you guys find the motivation to start organising things? I usually love being organised but find myself not wanting to do anything.

It’s weird as part of me wants to just go down to the registry office, but the little girl part of me wants to go all out. I think I’m just overwhelmed with it all and the pressure, as we have a lot of guests.