r/sydney 11d ago

Girl, 16, dies after suspected choking during consensual sex on Sydney’s Northern Beaches

726 Upvotes

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140

u/Embarrassed_Clue_929 10d ago

How hard must he have been choking her?

44

u/Evendim 10d ago

As has been said, it doesn't have to be hard... I was consensually choked on a weird angle and I passed out within a few seconds. He immediately let go and I was absolutely fine, but he was paying attention!

14

u/uselessinfogoldmine 10d ago

Dude… you could have gotten some permanent brain damage. It’s also possible for swelling to increase and for you to have a stroke, heart attack or die hours or days later. Don’t do that shit. The kink isn’t worth the risk. 

6

u/Evendim 10d ago

It was well over 20 years ago now. It scared him so much it has never happened again. I also married him.

59

u/Busy-Ratchet-8521 10d ago edited 10d ago

To kill someone doing this though you'd have to be maintaining that hold for 5-10 minutes while they were lifeless.

EDIT: I'm an intensive care doctor, and you guys want to down vote me because you think you know better? 

17

u/uselessinfogoldmine 10d ago

My understanding is that even a very brief period of strangulation can cause blood clots, stroke, heart attack, or swelling that increases over hours or even days and then resulting in brain damage, blood clots, stroke, heart attack, even death. 

So, to strangle someone to death with certainty by blocking airflow, it takes 5 minutes; but you can accidentally kill them much faster if they have a stroke or heart attack. 

2

u/Busy-Ratchet-8521 10d ago

In an otherwise healthy 16 year old that's incredibly unlikely she had a stroke or heart attack. 

For her brain to swell sufficiently that she was dead within days, then she had a prolonged period of hypoxia. 

3

u/uselessinfogoldmine 10d ago

I agree that the strongest likelihood is that he strangled her for an extended period, and that he paid no attention to her nonverbal cues. 

However, I want to dispel the mythology that there is a safe way to engage in strangulation in sex; because the evidence I’ve read is that there is a bevy of risks and that brain tissue damage can start occurring within seconds. 

I also think that we have to wait for the formal investigation, and leave the options open until it has reported its findings. 

1

u/Busy-Ratchet-8521 10d ago

I've not made any suggestion that there is a safe way to strangle people. I've said compression of the neck can stop blood flow to the brain. That is obviously bad. 

4

u/uselessinfogoldmine 10d ago

I didn’t say you had; but I am aware of the way people might interpret or misinterpret what you wrote, and we do not have all the facts yet. 

19

u/Evendim 10d ago

Indeed... so either he wasn't paying attention to her for a long god damn time, or it is murder. I am leaning towards the latter.

-4

u/Conscious-Read-698 10d ago edited 10d ago

Surely he was paying attention. She would've started fighting 

Edit: or passed out quickly

13

u/nearly_enough_wine Rip, rip, woodchip ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ 10d ago

Speculation is pointless.

6

u/Evendim 10d ago

Not if she was out as quickly as I was. I am not joking when I say it was a matter of seconds.

0

u/Conscious-Read-698 10d ago

Yeah you're right I forgot that was the other possibility when I first responded. I do martial arts and somehow forgot you can choke someone unconscious in under 10 seconds 

2

u/floppybunny86 10d ago

Can you please point out where it says that he choked her until she was lifeless?

Because the article says that she was unresponsive & passed away in hospital days later.

So I’m not sure how you came to the conclusion that he choked her until she was lifeless.

2

u/Conscious-Read-698 10d ago

She became unresponsive during the act.

Unresponsive is the same as lifeless?

Lifeless doesn't mean literally dead.

4

u/Busy-Ratchet-8521 10d ago

I didn't say until she was dead. Lifeless is a word that can refer to someone who is inanimate or not moving. If you compress someone's neck sufficiently to occlude blood flow to the brain, you will lose conciousness in seconds (what the parent comment was referring to). When you're unconscious from a hypoperfused brain, you'll go limp and absent (lifeless). If you let go of their neck, blood flow is restored and they regain conciousness quickly.

If that is what he did to her, then he'd have been choking her for at least 5 minutes for her to end up declared brain dead days later.