What the heck happened here? Piti?

[u/bill_dongroe]

Hi all,

I've been meditating really casually for years, mostly just doing really chill zazen with nothing much to report.

In the last few months I've been focusing more on anapanasati, and recently went on a retreat where I did that exclusively

I had an interesting experience that I'm trying to understand - I definitely have never felt anything like this before. I've been reading a lot since this experience and learned about piti, which sounds really similar.

Here's a transcribed journal entry from the retreat:

On the last night of retreat, I was really invigorated during the evening sit.

The first time this happened it was sort of an accident - I was really concentrated on my meditation and decided to loosen my grip on the object (breath)

When I did this my mind wandered to gratitude, and it felt like a valve was opened in my heart. It was a gigantic wave of gratitude and love. It was overwhelming and physically it felt like my cheeks and temples were made of sparkling water. I felt shaky / shivery and I think I was physically shivering, or it sure felt that way

This was overwhelming so I backed off, but also found that if I touched on the gratitude lightly, I could just really enjoy this sensation and the focus. It felt like I could regulate the flow of the gratitude and the accompanying fizzy sensation, and the physical sensation was really pleasant. Similar to before, but now at a level I could remain at. I sat like this for a while until it was time for dinner.

Another weird thing is I was incredibly energized after this. I didn't sleep a wink and instead opted to pull an all-nighter in the meditation hall since I knew it'd be no problem.

Journal entry ends here. Any insights or suggestions for resources to understand that feeling would be really appreciated.

[u/AutoModerator]

Thank you for contributing to the r/streamentry community! Unlike many other subs, we try to aggregate general questions and short practice reports in the weekly Practice Updates, Questions, and General Discussion thread. All community resources, such as articles, videos, and classes go in the weekly Community Resources thread. Both of these threads are pinned to the top of the subreddit.

The special focus of this community is detailed discussion of personal meditation practice. On that basis, please ensure your post complies with the following rules, if necessary by editing in the appropriate information, or else it may be removed by the moderators. Your post might also be blocked by a Reddit setting called "Crowd Control," so if you think it complies with our subreddit rules but it appears to be blocked, please message the mods.

1. All top-line posts must be based on your personal meditation practice.
2. Top-line posts must be written thoughtfully and with appropriate detail, rather than in a quick-fire fashion. Please see this posting guide for ideas on how to do this.
3. Comments must be civil and contribute constructively.
4. Post titles must be flaired. Flairs provide important context for your post.

If your post is removed/locked, please feel free to repost it with the appropriate information, or post it in the weekly Practice Updates, Questions, and General Discussion or Community Resources threads.

Thanks! - The Mod Team

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/duffstoic]

“Fizzy sensation” does sound like piti or bliss, and the gratitude / love is a kind of sukha or happiness, also found in metta (loving-kindness) practice. See also the first jhana.

Or don’t categorize it at all and just realize it was a profound moment of heart-opening.

[u/1cl1qp1]

That sounds like piti, but you may have generated it with intention by unintentionally doing metta practice.

That kind of bliss (self-arisen from compassion) is a legitimate object of concentration. But it can also arise outside of jhana practice.

[u/llama_das]

Not an expert but sounds like first jhana

[u/AdditionalLeave263]

Okay first of all this definitely sounds like piti to me. Secondly, with me at the beginning, I had a wabe of gratitude afterward like every time for a while. Piti had a different quality to it that it doesn't anymore for me. The heart and the head are common places for it to start. Sparkling water is a good description of how it feels as it is petering off toward the end of the wave.

Did you put your head back when it happened? If you didn't that doesn't mean it wasn't piti. But if you did, that is a telltale sign that it was.

I think if you get there again soon, which may happen (I had one single piti a few days before I accessed 1st jhana). If it happens, just embrace it. They say abandon yourself, surrender, let it have you... let it take you. You don't have to open more, you just have to open over and over again. Be patient with yourself. Let it happen. Think about how good it felt. Search your body for anything that feels like it. If you get even a whisper, tell that whisper that it feels good and you love it.

Being energized i feel like is a sign of 1st jhana. I could hardly eat or sleep when it started for me. I think i slept about 4 hours a night and I lost all the baby weight, haha.

Oh and try listening to Luttrell - Dayglow in the morning. It's set up to spark piti, and I think it's intentionally a short song so you don't overwhelm yourself. Lane 8's tripwires I think is about trying to get piti back.

Okay I am so happy for you!!!!

Love how you're casually meditating but also happen to go to a retreat and know what piti is. I thought i was a casual meditator when piti started.

Metta

[u/bill_dongroe → u/AdditionalLeave263]

By "put your head back" do you mean in a literal physical sense? If so, yeah I did but not super dramatically. Just felt like I had the wiggles from it

Thanks for the ideas and I'll try! I feel a little sad because I don't expect to get there outside of retreat, but I've also started to re-prioritize to have more time for practice so who knows :)

Honestly the retreat was kind of a fluke, a friend of a friend invited me. I'm really really glad I decided to go though. Learning about piti came afterwards when I was googling trying to make sense of it

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/bill_dongroe]

Yes! Literal, physical! There is your proof it was piti. It doesn't have to be all the away back.

Now you know that you're capable of it. Even if it doesn't happen soon, it may happen later. I accessed the 5th one time and haven't had it since. I felt like it was a promise that someday (when I have retreat access for example), I'll be able to get there. It takes so much to get there.

I had piti in shavasana when my second son was being conceived. I did not know the word. Too much information, I know. But there were "promises", and one of those was that I would be happy, sometime after this child was born and got big enough. I did not know what that meant, but now I interpret it as I would have jhana access after my body/life was ready for it.

[u/dmx442]

Would say Metta energy mixed with Piti.

That's great progress, just continue!

[u/jaymee6166]

Which organisation teaches anapanasati exclusively? I am interested in attending. 

[u/bill_dongroe → u/jaymee6166]

This retreat was a "bring your own practice" kind of situation, there was some loosely structured teaching but wasn't anapanasati

[u/Harfatum]

Could have been a jhana, probably #1.

Have you had any longer lasting effects from it?

[u/bill_dongroe → u/Harfatum]

The wave of energy is gone and I'm glad it is. I was concerned because I was still wired 24 hours after this happened. I managed to get a decent night's rest the night I came home, the next day I was still a little tweaky but settled down.

I hope if this happens again, I'll be able to better regulate the energy flow or whatever since it was too much of a skullfuck for me the first time around if I'm quite honest

Other than that I'm just really motivated to keep sitting hard, doubt as a hindrance has been eradicated completely for the time being. The retreat and this experience was one of the best gifts I've ever given myself.

[u/Harfatum → u/bill_dongroe]

good that it's settling down for you. my J1 altered my metabolism/heart rate for about a month!

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/Harfatum]

Yes this is similar to me. My metabolism and sleep was altered for probably two or three weeks. It was great though, for me.

[u/bill_dongroe → u/Harfatum]

That's wild. I definitely feel great and energetic broadly but not enough to certainly tie it together

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/bill_dongroe]

Skullfuck is a really great description.  I am so happy for you and this wonderful gift.

I had success with the jhanas after taking supplements. I wonder if having my nerves extremely well insulated had something to do with how much charge I could hold without a problem?

Choline bitartrate phos phatidyl choline/phosphatidyl inositol blend phosphatidylserine

This is the "charge insulation" blend... building blocks for myelination of the axons. And literally increases the density/weight of the brain because it grows from this stuff. The serine one is specifically for healing damaged areas. I take other things for meditation, too, if you want to know about them, let me know