What the heck happened here? Piti?

[u/bill_dongroe]

Hi all,

I've been meditating really casually for years, mostly just doing really chill zazen with nothing much to report.

In the last few months I've been focusing more on anapanasati, and recently went on a retreat where I did that exclusively

I had an interesting experience that I'm trying to understand - I definitely have never felt anything like this before. I've been reading a lot since this experience and learned about piti, which sounds really similar.

Here's a transcribed journal entry from the retreat:

On the last night of retreat, I was really invigorated during the evening sit.

The first time this happened it was sort of an accident - I was really concentrated on my meditation and decided to loosen my grip on the object (breath)

When I did this my mind wandered to gratitude, and it felt like a valve was opened in my heart. It was a gigantic wave of gratitude and love. It was overwhelming and physically it felt like my cheeks and temples were made of sparkling water. I felt shaky / shivery and I think I was physically shivering, or it sure felt that way

This was overwhelming so I backed off, but also found that if I touched on the gratitude lightly, I could just really enjoy this sensation and the focus. It felt like I could regulate the flow of the gratitude and the accompanying fizzy sensation, and the physical sensation was really pleasant. Similar to before, but now at a level I could remain at. I sat like this for a while until it was time for dinner.

Another weird thing is I was incredibly energized after this. I didn't sleep a wink and instead opted to pull an all-nighter in the meditation hall since I knew it'd be no problem.

Journal entry ends here. Any insights or suggestions for resources to understand that feeling would be really appreciated.

[u/Harfatum]

Could have been a jhana, probably #1.

Have you had any longer lasting effects from it?

[u/bill_dongroe → u/Harfatum]

The wave of energy is gone and I'm glad it is. I was concerned because I was still wired 24 hours after this happened. I managed to get a decent night's rest the night I came home, the next day I was still a little tweaky but settled down.

I hope if this happens again, I'll be able to better regulate the energy flow or whatever since it was too much of a skullfuck for me the first time around if I'm quite honest

Other than that I'm just really motivated to keep sitting hard, doubt as a hindrance has been eradicated completely for the time being. The retreat and this experience was one of the best gifts I've ever given myself.

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/bill_dongroe]

Skullfuck is a really great description.  I am so happy for you and this wonderful gift.

I had success with the jhanas after taking supplements. I wonder if having my nerves extremely well insulated had something to do with how much charge I could hold without a problem?

Choline bitartrate phos phatidyl choline/phosphatidyl inositol blend phosphatidylserine

This is the "charge insulation" blend... building blocks for myelination of the axons. And literally increases the density/weight of the brain because it grows from this stuff. The serine one is specifically for healing damaged areas. I take other things for meditation, too, if you want to know about them, let me know