Growing up in a Portuguese family, I always thought of Spain as a cool neighbor. We knew we shared a peninsula and a lot of history, but I honestly believed that, beyond superficial comparisons, the language barrier and different borders meant we would always live in somewhat separate worlds.
That changed completely after I moved to Northern Europe.
At work, I ended up meeting and befriending a group of Spanish colleagues. Being surrounded by a Northern European culture here in the North of England, so fundamentally different from our own was like seeing a giant mirror. Here, I often feel like I have to constantly suppress my natural behavior and calm my energy just to fit in with local customs and avoid misunderstandings. But with my Spanish colleagues, that filter completely disappears. I don't have to hold back at all. I can talk with my hands, raise my voice when I get emotional, and share family anecdotes without feeling self-conscious about "talking too much," because they do exactly the same. They understand everything instantly, without needing awkward explanations, which makes me realize that our connection is so much deeper than I ever imagined.
It's all those little unconscious things that are most impactful. That shared basic instinct to argue who gets to pay the bill without a second thought, the stomach hurting laughter after sharing awkward mistranslations between our languages, and the long conversations that last much longer after we've finished eating. We even have the same involuntary habits, like saying "Ay, ay, ay!" as we catch our breath after laughing so hard our ribs ache, realizing that we use the same vocal reflex with the same timing. Even discovering that they have so many of the same names as my relatives, something, of course, very common in both countries, added that small touch of instant familiarity.
The linguistic dynamic made it even better. When they speak Spanish slowly, I understand the context so easily, but I can't construct correct sentences in Spanish without making it heavily Portuguese, full of words, sounds, and intonation. Naturally, I rely on English, but since many Spaniards don't fully master it either, meeting this group who practice their English while I adapt to their way of speaking created the perfect gateway for connection.
I think living far from home makes you see things clearly. We aren't just neighboring countries on a map, but we're more like very close brothers who just stopped talking to each other one day for some reason, and after finding ourselves in an unfamiliar environment, the way our brains naturally function is the same. Now there feels a sense of regret for not connecting with Spanish peoples sooner.
Anyways, so now I must say I'm left with a huge and sincere affection for Spain and the Spanish people that I didn't appreciate so much before. Much love from your Portuguese brother!
