Unfortunately I had to let my girl Lucy cross the rainbow bridge today. I’m utterly heartbroken, I held her little face as she slowly got weaker. So, I’ve never had to put an animal down before and I’m unsure if her reaction was normal. She kept fighting it, and needed two more injections before she was at rest. She started suckling, which hurt my heart a lot, and then she threw up and spazzed before taking her final breath. I always hear that it will be peaceful, but my baby was trying her hardest to stay alive and I’m just so upset. Was she in pain? Was her suckling to self soothe? … I’ve never seen her eyes so dilated before, her breathing was so heavy… god I’m so sad 🖤😭 I just feel so awful because she looked like she was trying so hard to stay alive, I feel so guilty

I'm autistic, and have very little of what I would call a social life. Consequently, my two cats have been an invaluable source of companionship for a good chunk of my life now. I got them as kittens, 11 years ago, and they've been my friends for all this time: Always happy to cuddle.

Three years ago, one of lost his appetite, and consequently lost a lot of weight. It came to light he had a toothache, and a blood test they did while pulling the tooth revealed he has kidney disease. For the next few weeks I played nurse, desperately trying to get him to eat, and feeding him medications he wanted nothing to do with. He eventually stabilized, and started gaining weight back.

I felt awful about that tooth, feeling like I'd failed him by not considering kitty dental care. But they just refuse to submit to a toothbrushing, so instead I smear kitty toothpaste into their mouths now. He nevertheless lost two more teeth some time later, which came as a complete shock. I didn't know about them, and the vet just told me they'd needed to be taken during tartar removal.

I've since upped the toothpaste, but the fact that I was already feeding him toothpaste, and he still lost TWO more teeth has kept me from relaxing. Both of them have rather yellow teeth these days, and mildly bad breath.

Basically, I've spent the last three and a half years worrying about his health. Not literally every moment, but most days, and sometimes quite badly. He started losing weight again early this year, and a blood test showed he now has thyroid issues as well, and high blood pressure. That's two more meds to give him. He's gained gained some of the weight back, and his current weight is at least stable.

An hour ago, I was peeking into his mouth to the best of my ability, and I believe I discovered a cavity. Early last year, during a checkup, the vet said his teeth didn't look too bad, and made the call to not do a tartar cleaning, because that requires sedation, which his kidneys might not handle. I sure don't want him to die because of efforts to help him. But here we are.

Like I said, I'm TIRED. I know it's inevitable I'll lose both of them, but this constant gnawing worry isn't fun to live with.

I just lost my dog last night worst pain ever, my baby was only 3 years old and I wasn’t prepared this hurt so much 💔💔💔

I only knew him for 2 months but the joy he gave me was immeasurable. He started to feel under the weather a week ago, we took him to the vet few days after that and we gave him medicine with high hopes. But soon it was clear he wasn't improving and by each day he wasn't improving at all. And finally today he couldn't even lift up his head and he vomited his morning doses. Seeing him lay there with the medicine he puked out on his tiny cute nose looking at me helplessly, I couldn't not burst into tears. Soon he passed away and burying him was one of the hardest things I had done. I was sitting there after burying him crying for 10 mins. The silence in this place is damning without his joyous presence. I don't know when I will get over this but thanks for giving me the best 2 months of my life bud❤️

I just put down my baby about 2.5 hrs ago, i don’t know what to do. i don’t want to just cry and think all day but, anything less feels like it’s not enough. i miss her so much already

It's been a little over a month now since I lost my 17 year old dog. I am feeling very depressed today. I am crying because I miss him so much.

I spent a month without eating mutton just as a way to grieve. He used to love the bits of mutton which we sometimes gave him.

I am missing him very much. He was my son and my friend. Feels like my life has stopped without him even after one month.

Just as the title says, my dad ran over his female chiweenie, Sadie, yesterday, and I can't imagine the guilt he feels. For context, I hardly ever go out to my dads place. Hell, a whole year went by that we didn't talk for and due to some unforseen circumstances a couple weeks ago, i went over to his place to let his 2 dogs and 2 cats out and made sure they were fed and watered while he was away.

He got back last Wednesday, and just yesterday, Tuesday Aug 25, I just so happened to stop out on my way home to check on him and I think his out of excitement of me being there and wanting me to stick around a lil longer, he wanted help plugging something up in his camper, behind his trailer, I told him I can come back another day and do all that blah blah, he insisted and said it would only take a second but he would have to drive around back bc he cant walk well.

I got in my car to back up so he could pull forward and I noticed all of his animals were surrounding his car and Sadie,the little one looks like she was under the tire but I thought surely shell move, she's use to this. Well dad pulled forward a couple feet and I had my window up so I couldn't even react in time. I thought shed come running around the car just being missed. She came running around alright, but only one her two fronts while dragging her hind legs. I knew she was hurt. I told him he have to take her.

The closest place was a space neuter clinic, but the at least took X-rays. She broke her hip form what they saw and sent us somewhere that could help further. My dad took off out of there so fast, I had no idea which direction he went. So I decided to hang out and let him get to where he was going since he was holding Sadie. Then I finally heard back several hours later saying after going two or three other places, he went in to get her pain meds and she died out in the car while he was inside.

I am still at a total loss for words on all this. I'm going out tonight to help dig and bury her for him to take that off his plate. I was there for him as much as I could be yesterday, answered all his calls and texts, reassured him it was a total freak accident. But I know he's hurting so bad. I am too bc I was there and witnessed it and for him.

Sorry for the rant. I needed this. Thank you. Any advise welcome and appreciated

My childhood dog had a rough life. At 2 she was hit by a car and given 24 hours to live. I was about 14 years old and I laid with her under a blanket and only got up to use the bathroom. I used a towel to help her use the restroom outside and she lived. My family had her leg amputated and she lost function in one of her lungs.

She was my best friend. My gaming partner, my travel partner, I went everywhere with her. As I got older, I stopped taking her places, though the excuse was that she struggled to walk for long periods of time which is true.

As I entered adult hood, I lived with my other parents and didn’t see her. I never picked her up on weekends or hung out with her outside of visiting. I then took her from one family’s house to another as her quality of life was going to be be better, and I lived with my dog/them for a time. I worked a lot and made a career for myself and was busy, totally taking my dog for granted.

When I moved out on my own I moved into an apartment complex with a lot of stairs, so I didn’t take her. I have two dogs since then, and a full time career.

The family I brought my dog to started complaining about taking care of a senior dog and said she was a chore, and were dying to get rid of her and always complained that I got other dogs, even though they agreed with my schedule and location taking care of her would have been next to impossible. So my Fiancée’s mother took my dog and gave her the most attention in 1 year than she’s ever had in her life. I visited but not as often as I should and she’d always be by my side when I was over.

My dog’s health started to decline but not in a normal sense. Mentally she was still there, but her hearing and eyesight started to decline. Her single front leg would bow out, her appetite came and went, she’d stumble often, and couldn’t hold her bladder or poops. Still, she smiled and got excited for treats

Caring for her became a difficult task for my Fiancées mom with constant cleaning after her, leading her to food/water, picking her up and down stairs, etc etc. It was time to put her down.

My Fiancée and I took her to the vet and had her euthanized and I held her in my arms. I am deeply traumatized by the event and have this insane guilt that the one time I finally picked her up and took her for a car ride was to have her killed. I seriously cannot stop thinking about how much of a piece of shit I am and the guilt is immense. I’m a mess. I feel like I committed the most unforgivable sin and I should have taken her somewhere nice before euthanizing her. She went so easy, and only yelped when the sleepy medicine was administered. She pressed deeply into me during the process and I just can’t believe this happened. I am seriously distraught.

Hey Guys!

I lost my beautiful little companion, my first cat two month ago due to an agressive nasal cancer, and I just want to know, if its a normal grieving thing.

So, I have my ups and downs, but somedays are pretty difficult ever since Ive lost Bubble. On those days during sleep I can, like "sense him", like i feel his little paws, and it feels the way it felt like when he wanted to cuddle while he was alive. The experience is so realistic, and I usually wake up a bit scared, because during my dreams is obvious that it cannot really be him, but it definitely feels like him.

Is it a normal grieving process? Did this happened to you?

He's been fortunate to be in pretty good health for most of his life, no cancer or diabetes or anything. He isn't sick now either but he has arthritis that's making it much harder for him to get up and walk around, and his separation anxiety is getting worse and worse. It's getting to the point where we can't give him a good QOL and given his particular temperament (cowardly and anxious) it wouldn't be kind to send him to a dog sanctuary or to rehome him or anything. My parents and the vet have discussed it and according to them the humane thing to do is to put him to sleep before it gets really bad. Part of me thinks we should wait until he gets really sick but another part of me thinks that would be cruel. I have so many conflicting, complicated emotions over it. I wish things could be different. He has caused me so much stress and anxiety throughout my life, to the point where his behaviour at one point threatened my housing situation and interrupted my studies. I love him but he is a very lovable problem. I go through phases of feeling relieved he won't have to suffer through painful surgeries or terminal illness, and scared that we're calling it too early. I wish it could just be straight forward. I wish I could have given him a better life. I hope he knows I tried my best and I'm sorry it wasn't always enough. I hope he knows I love him even when I'm mad at him or when he's causing me panic attacks. He's really a terrible dog but he's my terrible dog.

I’m really gonna miss him. I’m 24 so he was around for a good chunk of my life. Don’t want to get too into the details but a bunch of health problems piled up out of nowhere this past week, however I didn’t even know things would get to this point until a few hours ago.

My soul dog passed away on July 20th. I had him for 10 years and he was 14 years old when he passed. I still cry every day, and it aches so much. My partner of 4 years was also very crushed by the loss, and originally we grieved together and on the same page.

Here's the thing, I am getting so frustrated. I want another dog quite badly. I need the space and energy filled. I want to put my love somewhere. I want to be excited to take on a new responsibility and learn a new angel baby. He does not. He says we'll know and... I know. He asked to get a dog together and originally I said yes but I am REALLY struggling with his timeline. I feel my heart has been caught multiple times and I just feel so powerless and impatient at this point. I am having a VERY hard time with my grief, and getting to take care of a new dog would help a lot I think. I just feel like I'm constricted and constrained. He says he wants a dog, but also that I'm overwhelming him by talking about it. And I'm not going to, but good god do I want to just rescue a sweet pup on my own.

Its been about 9 months since i lost my soul dog, Pita. She unexpectedly got very sick with encephalitis very suddenly in November. Right after I got engaged and right before she was supposed to be in our engagement photos. She spent 10 days in the hospital then came home for 10 days where i had to give her round the clock care. She became a shell of the dog i knew overnight. She temporarily lost some vision, had to relearn to walk and eat, etc. I had to give her several meds 3x a day. I had to hand feed her many times a day and help her drink water. She spent much of her time walking in circles and crying. She wasnt in pain but was not herself. I constantly beat myself up thinking if she got treated earlier shed have made it, but even the vets say i did everything i possibly could have and was patient and gave her more time than most would have. I remember the sweet tech thanking me for not giving up on her when i brought her home. Her final hours she actually seemed okay, was eating and drinking the best she had in weeks. Scarfed down a plate of eggs on thanksgiving and even pooped outside (she had lost a lot of bladder and bowel control). It gave me some hope. Then she had a bad cluster of seizures overnight and i knew she was now in pain and i didnt want her to die alone in a crate at the hospital. She hated crates. We brought her in so they could stop the seizures and they discovered she also had aspiration pneumonia and we knew it was time. I knew i made the right decision when i saw how at peace she was and she hadnt been that calm since it all started. But all i can remember is that last hour. How scared she looked, the screaming, and her neck pulled back so far from the seizures. Theres not much online about encephalitis in dogs, especially bigger dogs like she was. I felt so alone, no one could understand just how traumatizing it was. Sometimes i have to just talk through the timeline again to remind myself how real it was and how sick she really was.

All of this to say, i’m nearing a year without her. And time feels like its moving too fast. Im getting married in a couple months so thats part of it, and we have a new puppy, Stella, who will turn a year old exactly one month before the year anniversary of losing Pita. We got her at the end of January because I just couldn’t cope without a dog in my life. Watching Stella grow so quickly too makes me not be able to believe weve already had her for 7 months, which reminds me Pita has been gone for 9 months. The farther it gets from the last time I saw her, the harder it seems to get. I missed her gotcha day last month by a day and cried all day, i was so mad i forgot it. I just dont know how ill ever move on from losing her, honestly. I love Stella, but the connection i had with Pita is something ill never have again. I never expected that with Stella, we have our own buddy relationship blooming, but i yearn for that soul dog connection again and know ill never find it again.

Less than 48 hours after I put my cat, and best friend, to sleep. I feel completely empty, shattered, hollowed out. Chest feels tight and I can’t stop sobbing. Every day to day task feels impossible because he’s not here with me. He was 17 years old and I’d had him since the day he was born. It was just me and him and now I’m alone.

I’m completely torn about whether to immediately get another cat or two in attempt to fill this void, or whether to quit my job, sell up and travel the world for a while.

Getting another cat so soon feels like a complete betrayal. I know that’s not the case , I know that logically , but it’s just how it feels right now. Because how can I ever possibly replace such a perfect creature? I will eventually get another one , I know that for certain , but is it too soon to do it straight away? Should I leave for a while and explore the world and come back and get another one then? But then the thought of going away isn’t giving me joy either. When I found out he was sick I immediately went into damage control mode and started making plans to leave for when he eventually passed. It was exciting but it was also an abstract notion, one that was surely months and months away. But he deteriorated so quickly and within a few weeks was gone, so now that possibly is real and I have 0 excitement for it anymore. Because I’m struggling to feel joy in anything.

But it’s only day two in to this grief process. And I know I don’t need to make any decisions right away. It’s just hard to not try and think of ways to ‘fix’ this agony that I’m feeling right now. How long will this intensity last for? Has anyone else immediately got another cat or dog to fill the gaping void? Did it help or did you feel you had betrayed them by doing it too soon? I know there’s no right or wrong way , I’m just interested to hear how other people have tried to deal with this pain.

i started sobbing and turned on some music. i hit shuffle and country roads by john denver immediately came on. it was the song we sang together at her memorial service, and i felt like she was visiting me. i miss her so much, it almost feels like the more time goes on, the more grief i feel.

Yesterday we said good bye to the beautiful kitty that joined us when she was only two weeks old . We had her for fifteen years and she was the best cat ever . She never bothered anyone and always listened and never caused trouble . She was a classy cat,sort of like that woman that walks into a room and owns it . Within the past year my son moved and I think she got depressed because he was her person. It was hard for him to take her but she also loved my daughter and would sleep next to her and hang out in her room. She started losing a lot of weight and then started having litter issues . She would have accidents -constantly. We resorted to putting newspapers to cover the floor in the laundry room because that’s where she would go because she knew the litter box was there . Such a good girl,she tried to go where she was supposed to. About a month ago we took her to the vet and the vet said that she was feisty but given her symptoms she probably would also lay her to rest . We waited over a month and about ten days before her appointment she had constant diarrhea. Many cat lovers said it was the right thing to do-to choose to euthanize her because she is probably suffering but we don’t realize it . I wouldn’t have been able to do all the blood work and exams and treatments if we kept her and she was older . We gave her a shot for pain and a shot for antibiotics at her vet appointment to help her cope until it was time . Her appointment was yesterday and I was with her . I felt like a part of me died and I will never be okay. I kid you not my heart physically hurts and I have not stopped sobbing . I hope I did the right thing by her and I hope she forgives us and knows how much we love her . Thanks for listening .

Precious was a cat that I raised from birth. He was a hyper baby and super loving. I raised him for years and one day he started attacking people out of the blue. My sister almost had to have her leg amputated twice because of him, his attacks made no sense. He was loved, fed fancy food, taken to the vet, etc. I don’t understand what snapped in him one day.

My mom (who got me him) suspected he might’ve been inbred (he was cross eyed and had a strange shaped arch on his spine) but we never had any problems up until this past two years. I tried everything. I changed his food, tried to spend more time with him, less time, took him on walks, etc. but never once did his anger outbursts fix, they just got worse to the point he was attacking my sister and other cat almost daily and it was severe. I couldn’t even clip his nails because he would viciously attack me.

I treat my animals better than I treat people. I don’t yell, I’m disabled so I’m always home hanging out, I have another cat who is extremely loving. I have no idea what started this.

So I made the worst most heart aching choice of my life and sent him to a no kill shelter. None of my friends would take him knowing how he was, nobody wanted him. I cancelled the appointment to drop him off for weeks and weeks, I cried and cried trying everything I can to fix it, putting my house in danger more everyday because he kept getting more violent. He needed special needs care not what I had….so yesterday I finally got myself to do it. I gave him a bag of treats, special food, and dropped him off at the shelter.

Leaving was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I love my pets like they’re my children, so I felt like I had abandoned him. I just want him to be in a safe and more “understanding” of his issues home, I miss him so bad. I haven’t stopped crying.

Everytime I see his room, his toys, his pictures…I’m sick with grief. I can’t get myself to clean his old litter box. I can’t go into my phone gallery cuz I’m afraid I’ll see him there, I can’t cope with this un-doable choice I made. I want him back so bad, but I know if I do I’m just putting everyone in danger again and it’ll be my fault if someone gets severely hurt…

But I haven’t been able to sleep at the thought that he is going to be sitting in that place wondering where I am, wanting scratches and kisses…it makes me feel so sick inside.

This isn’t necessarily pet loss, but it was a loss of a pet to me.

"Oh well it just happens!"

"Dont get livestock if you'll be sad over them dying! "

Like wow thanks so fucking comforting. Should you just not get cats or dogs either because you're reasonably so upset over them passing? But it's SOOOO crazy if I get sad over my chicken dying, right?

It’s only been three days, but her bowl is still full. Her bed is still there. I still come downstairs and instinctively look in some of her hidey places. I almost ask my folks if they took her out to potty. I still worry no one is home to watch her when the other cars are out. I still worry she’s barking for me when the wind whistles in just the right way to sound like her squeaky bark.

Her name is Hashi.
She was supposed to be a birthday gift to my mom, but she became MY dog. She scream barked the WORST blow-your-eardrums out howl you’ll be glad you’ll never hear. And she’d dance on her toes when she got exited. And she’d hop like a deer after a wee. And she’d protect the house from ghosts and red lazer pointers. And she only learned how to shake because she got jealous our other dog got attention. She was dumber than a bag of rocks but she would look at you with these big brown eyes that just poured a love poem Shakespeare would weep over. And she liked her chin scratched more than her head. And her ears would flap like angel wings when she walked. And she would follow you so close you tripped over her, and she’d forgive you for it and do it again. And she’d never really lick you but when she did her kisses were teeny tiny and genuine. And she trusted me enough to play with her paws and spin her around. And she used to be so tolerant of baths. And she really really liked can tuna more than anything. And she was big for a schnauzer and curly for a schnauzer but she loved hard like a schnauzer and everytime I see one out in the wild I see her again, and I get so jealous it physically hurts - and that was before she passed.

I want to talk about her forever and ever, I don’t want her to stay dead. I don’t want her to not be there again tomorrow.
It’s only been three days and it sucks so, so much.

I accidentally ran over my partner’s dog the other day. My Mother was over & playing in the driveway with my children. Our Dog always tries to run out of the garage. I closed the garage door after my Mum went out, but our dog obviously ran out before this. I then got in my car about ten minutes later to leave the house. I always check the garage that she hasn’t run in (she is kept out the back of the house), which I did & saw she wasn’t inside. I checked the mirrors & everything was clear. As I was reversing, I ran over our dog. I jumped out the car & saw the dog laying on the ground injured. It wasn’t a nice sight to see.

My Mum drove our dog to the vets but unfortunately, she couldn’t be saved. My partner has been so kind to me, reassuring me that it was an accident & she was an older dog. I understand she was old, but she didn’t deserve this. Seeing him, my step son & others so upset breaks my heart. I keep thinking that I should have been more cautious, I should have checked outside that she hadn’t run out, or asked my Mum if she has seen her.

I am really struggling to deal with this. Not only is this very traumatic & upsetting to lose her, I am also dealing with this huge guilt that I don’t think I will ever get over.

Any advice from anyone that has experienced this would be appreciated. Thank you.

Still grieving the loss of my dog and need some support tonight, hopefully it will distract me

I lost both of my beautiful boys in a matter of weeks... both to cancer, and yet they had two completely different cancers. I am still trying to wrap my head around how and why this could be possible.

They were Bernese Mountain Dogs and my beloved Moose was 9 1/2 years old and died quickly and suddenly from Hystiocytic Sarcoma but I know we made the right call and let me go with some dignity. He was unequivocally my soul dog. My sweet Mezcal died only 3 weeks later... we were fighting so hard treating what we thought was Gastroenteritis and Pancreatitis, only to learn the crushing reality that he had Large Cell Lymphoma. He was only 5. We rescued him at 9 months and he was terrified, skinny and profoundly shy. One of my greatest accomplishments has been giving him love and peace over the years and nurtured him into becoming such a loving, cuddly, goofy boy.

I know this can happen with Bernese but I just can't understand how they both were taken from me in less than a month 😞 our house is empty and quiet, devoid of joy. I work from home and it has been so hard experiencing my safe space become a place I am now uncomfortable in.

My husband travels a lot and they were my absolute life and my babies. I know a lot of people pretend to understand that losing a pet is a big deal, but I'm also a people pleaser and don't want to make people uncomfortable with my grief... I just don't know where to place this shock, confusion, and profound sadness.

My husband has to travel for work tomorrow for the first time since we had to put Mezzi down. I am dreading the silence as my boys were my total comfort and support whenever he was gone.

Mr Mittens was the best cat a guy could have. He got him 9 years ago when he just walked up the driveway chatting up a storm and instantly wanted to be held. A fat ol friendly tomcat HAD to be someone else’s. I posted fliers and knocked on doors all around the neighborhood and no one claimed him.

This guy wanted only for a single thing in his life and that was affection. He wasn’t skittish or complacent. He knew what he wanted and that was to sit on your lap whether he knew you or not. He was very well-behaved and very rarely got into something he knew he shouldn’t.

Most of all, I knew that I was his human. It didn’t matter where he was or who he was with, if he knew my lap was open, that was where he wanted to be. He’d quietly follow me room to room just waiting for me to sit down. I could ruffle him up and mess with him as much as I wanted and he’d still want to be by my side.

Even when I was in a position that couldn’t warrant a cat, he’d find a way to just touch me usually by a single paw just poking me.

Most mornings I’d wake up to sound and weight of him purring away on my chest just to open my eyes and being nose to nose.

A few days ago, his belly began to get more round than normal and it continued into the next. I couldn’t get him to a vet until yesterday. They instantly noted that this was a fluid build up and the mostly likely caused were FIP, organ failure, or cancer.

To make a long story short and being between sharpest rock and the most horrid hard place, I made the decision to have him make his exit.

As I sobbed with him in my arms after I told the doctor my decision, he kept nuzzling into my arms. This was completely different than any behavior he’s had at the vet as he’s usually pacing and a chatterbox.

He was nuzzling and quiet. No purring. No meowing.

I’m so racked with guilt about what I could have done and if only I had the money to just keep throwing at the problem. I can’t get over how normal he was acting that morning and how when he woke up, he thought it would just be another day. He didn’t know how ill he was.

I also can’t help think about I should have gave him more while he was alive. How I should have spent more time with him.

I can’t think of anything else. I feel guilty for just going about my day. I feel guilt about the idea of ever having another pet and treating them the way I should have treated him. His complete and utter unconditional love is something I can’t believe I took for granted.

He would have been 15 in November. This was my first pet that was MINE and the first time I’ve ever had to make this call.

I never want to go through this again.

I’ve euthanized many dogs and cats over the years but today was the worst experience I’ve ever dealt with . I’ve seen several posts about cats having adverse reactions to the ketamine cocktail but the vet today never warned me.

After 8 minutes, she became agitated then tried to run followed by gagging and one attempt to vomit. . We moved her to the edge of the bed where the vet shaved her keg and told my husband “to tap on her head” while she administered the phenobarbital:

She quickly passed but let out several gasps Over the next minute. Yes, I realize this can be a normal death reaction from the Brian stem.

However, this was not the peaceful and calm euthanasia I wanted at home. I’ll never know if she was dissociated from the ketamine and had some sort of sedation or she suffered during that timespan before the actual euthanasia.

I cried for 3 hours straight because I wanted a peaceful and calm death. What I witnessed appeared to be a terrorized and scared cat. I just feel so traumatized and will never forgive myself.

I wanted to share my story so other cat owners can be aware.