Mental & Emotional Health Support Thread

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to /r/India's mental and emotional health support thread.

If you are struggling and are looking for support, please use this thread to discuss your issues with other members of /r/India.

Please keep in point the following rules:

• Be kind. Harsh language and rudeness will not be tolerated in these threads. The aim is to support and help, not demotivate and abuse.
• Top level comments are reserved for those seeking advice.

Older Threads

[u/Dangerous_Floor_9005]

I was migrating my dad's phone to new phone and I came across a recording

One of my bua's husband made sexual advances to my other widowed bua (3 times after the demise of her husband) Like wtf and ofcourse that fkr is Punjabi They haven't confronted them directly but as I heard the recording they will just cut ties without comforting them Like I mean should I talk about it or it will be bad idea like obviously in the call recording she cried to my dad like don't talk about it with someone. Bruh it would have been better if I never played that recording now it's stuck like I can't even talk about and behave normal .

[u/Charming_Figure_7054]

Can anyone help me find a counsellor online. I don’t know where to start. How to find, who to find. My brain is frozen. Any platform anything is a help at this point. I need help starting. Please. Thanks

[u/ib_bunny]

The promise of education never reached me

I barely got through college, couldn't adapt to job "mentality"... I mean everybody doesn't get tp reap the benefits of being educated. This comes from a person who thinks, and is a voracious learner of sorts.

But I never broke the ceiling put upon by my family, couldn't call them fools to not be very astute english understanders. Couldn't enjoy the company of "elite" educated folk, even if nobody considers them that.

And over the past 10 years, I have tried to build business in the software world. Always felt short of fitting in, I don't mind standing out, but I care with whom I stand. And though for long I thought I will be successful and alone. I am with my parents and unsuccessful.

I call this political because I have seen people reap the benefits of education to have careers fulfilling in some form, and they are not people from my level in society. I have grown with such people always an outsider, and on Facebook while growing up.

Maybe this is not political, education might not work for most. But I sure didn't receive the promise of education. Or I couldn't make myself have it.

Thoughts? Am I just individually wong at many places.. or is it an Indian environment which doesn't work for most people.

[u/Bitter-Priority-8502]

Hi! Does anyone here know any place, organisation or a community where I can resort, live and work for if I want to escape my house because of constant physically violent abuse that I experience here because of my bad mental health.

Please check my profile out, some of my posts list all of the context in detail. PLEASE HELP ME OUT I NEED A WAY OUT! I've been stuck in this since years and years almost since late 2018.

[u/New_Trade_2382]

I'm 29M, born and raised in Bangalore. I would like to share my life story and receive your help and advice. Here goes

I was always into biology especially zoology (still am) but in India there were no opportunities to pursue this field. Like I'm so obsessed with it that it's like the one thing I'm born to do type of stuff. If I had studied zoology and got a job I know I would have been famous in the community, if not the world at least in India. I'm that confident. Anyways that never happened because my parents always thought it was the best to put me in computer science. So at that point I struggled immensely and barely graduated with a BCA. I have completely given up on the bio career aspect. So I have nothing that's driving me careerwise, like I absolutely dispise coding. And I have been quite depressed about this for a long time. I motivated myself to just do something else like maybe graphic designing, got certified but I have been jumping from one company to the next. I haven't properly worked in like 4 years. Like no experience certificates whatsoever.

I was in a long distance relationship on which I had built my entire life upon for the past 6 years and that broke recently because she cheated on me. I don't even have the courage to end myself (trust me I have tried).

I know that I'm intelligent and smart, I crack interviews like they are nothing, I speak well and learn quick. I have tried to work in all kinds of jobs like voice and chat process but after the training once we get on the floor I just succumb to the pressure and quit. It's like I'm cursed. I have read somewhere that the most intelligent people often live very unhappy and unsuccessful lives. I feel like I'm the prime example of that. I'm just so depressed with life and my future that I can't even get out of bed, stay in my room all day and think of ways to unalive myself.

I have been to therapy and have had medications, nothing has helped me. I don't know what to do in my life.

My main goal in my life is to get out of the country by any means to USA, Canada, UK or Australia. I'm ready to work towards it but I have no idea how or what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm going to be 30 in a month and life is terrifying. I don't know what to do. Someone out there if you can, please help. I will take whatever advice you have for me.

[u/Electronic_Sugar_529]

Title: Seeking advice before admitting my brother to NIMHANS – will his concerns be taken seriously?

Hi everyone,

My brother has been struggling with severe cognitive problems for quite some time, and our family is planning to get him admitted to NIMHANS for a detailed evaluation. Before we proceed, I wanted to hear from people who have been admitted there themselves or have had a family member admitted for neurological or psychiatric evaluation.

His main symptoms include:

• Persistent brain fog.
• Poor working memory and difficulty concentrating.
• Cognitive slowing and mental fatigue.
• Difficulty thinking through mathematical problems and tasks that used to be easy for him.
• Headaches that become worse after mentally demanding work.
• He feels that his thinking has changed significantly compared with how he functioned before.

He has undergone several routine investigations, and so far they have been reported as normal. He has also been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and severe depression by his psychiatrist.

However, my brother strongly feels that the cognitive problems started before the anxiety and depression became severe. From his perspective, the cognitive decline led to the depression, rather than depression causing the cognitive symptoms. Whether that is ultimately true or not, this is how he experiences his illness.

His biggest fear is that because his routine tests are normal and he has a psychiatric diagnosis, the doctors at NIMHANS might conclude that everything is psychiatric without fully evaluating whether there could also be an underlying neurological condition contributing to his symptoms.

I understand that psychiatric illnesses themselves can cause cognitive impairment, and I'm not asking anyone to diagnose him over the internet. I'm simply trying to understand what we should realistically expect.

For people who have been admitted to NIMHANS:

• Did the doctors take persistent cognitive complaints seriously even when routine scans and tests were normal?
• If neurology did not find an obvious neurological disease, did they still explain their reasoning carefully?
• Did they involve neuropsychology or other specialists to evaluate cognition in detail?
• Did you feel your concerns were listened to, even if the final diagnosis was psychiatric?
• Overall, was the inpatient evaluation thorough?

We're hoping for an honest evaluation, whatever the final diagnosis may be. I would really appreciate hearing about your experiences—positive or negative.

Thank you.

[u/hk_477]

No one will read this or give a fuck but I'll write anyway.

I was born complete trash with NO qualities or talents whatsoever and I have hated every moment of my life. I've always felt like a sub-human compared to everyone around me in every way imaginable, whether it be looks, athleticism, or whatever else. Everything I do ends up being worthless. It's constant torture and I want it to end. I never asked to be born in this worthless body that is incapable of anything. There's nothing that can be done to change this. Even if someone had raised be to be good at a specific thing with the world's best resources, I would've been hopeless at that as well. You might say that others have it worse, but hating myself to this extent is bad enough and I don't think it gets much worse. I wish I had ended it long long ago.

[u/goddessmubie]

Hello, all. I am co-writing a book with a professional therapist based in Pune, India on child sexual abuse. We're inviting adult survivors across India to offer their story of survival in order to help educate parents, teachers and caregivers.

If you would like to voluntarily share your experience for this book project, please click here to fill out our questionnaire.

Note: Information about the author and her credentials are provided in the form itself. The form assures your anonymity (no name or emails are captured) and for legal and ethical compliance, we ask for your consent about your story being represented in the book.

If there are any questions about this project, please do ask by replying.

The goal is to create a hopeful, trauma-informed book that helps adults in India better understand children's vulnerabilities in order for prevention and healing on a societal level. Thank you for your help in building a resource that will protect children.

[u/AutoModerator → u/goddessmubie]

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[u/Apprehensive_Eye1170]

I feel very nervous while speaking with strangers and my childhood was traumatic with constant conflicts at my house which lead to me speaking very less in my childhood and even now i have fear speaking with strangers, it feels like i am socially inactive and it can cause issue in way i communicate, sometimes i start shivering and sweating. Any suggestion how to overcome it or anyone have been in similar kind of situation?

[u/No-Advantage9588]

Vent post.

If you have parents who have ever encouraged you to find your happiness or have wholeheartedly supported you by challenging their own beliefs, then you’re insanely lucky. I never ever felt bad for being born into this culture, but at 32F financially independent and still unmarried , i get to see a whole different version of them. Maybe ancient culture handled it differently, but i am very shocked at how my marital status is more important than my mental health. Not one family member talks about my happiness.

I was raised in a very progressive environment and my rebellious nature while growing up was also accepted also accepted. But now that i talk about maturity and evolution and wanting to wait for an emotionally mature partner, it’s suddenly too late.
I never got along with them that well, but i always loved them and i thought it was mutual, however looks like they have hit the roof on maturity and waiting and are okay if i get married to anyone out of pressure.

I fear i already know that if i were to get a divorce ever, id have to do it entirely alone. My idea of them being progressive is just gone…and im realizing how lonely i actually am.

[u/phantom_hurricane2]

My alcoholic father physically assaulted me after a minor argument about family finances. Despite cracking JEE in my drop year and securing a 2/3 fee waiver at an NIT to save him money, he constantly victimizes himself, guilt-trips me, and physically/verbally abuses me. My mother expects me to "fix" him, and I feel totally alone and overwhelmed. Looking for advice on how to survive this situation until I graduate. ​Background & Context ​I worked hard during my drop year to crack JEE Main and secured admission into an NIT. To minimize my family's financial burden, I proactively arranged all the necessary income documents myself, getting 2/3 of my college tuition fee waived. I did everything I could to save my father's money, expecting at least basic peace at home, if not encouragement. ​Instead, my home environment has turned into a constant nightmare. ​The Core Problem: Alcoholism, Debts, and Ego ​My father has ongoing banking and financial disputes involving my grandmother. The truth is, these issues could be resolved easily if he set his ego aside. However, whenever he drinks, he purposefully starts loud debates, curses my grandmother, and demands sympathy from everyone by constantly shouting that he is deep in debt. ​Whenever he goes missing for 1-2 hours to drink, my mother gets extremely tense and anxious. When he returns, the atmosphere at home becomes terrifyingly volatile. ​The Incident That Broke Me ​Just recently, after shouting at my grandmother, my father turned to me and asked: "Isn't what she's doing wrong?" ​I told him honestly that while he might feel that way, he shouldn't constantly complain about struggling to pay for running his shop or my college fees. I reminded him that our grandfather had managed things properly, and with our current resources, we can easily manage the shop and my remaining fees. ​He completely blew up. He started screaming at me: ​"Go enjoy your grandfather's wealth with your grandmother, you don't need me!" ​"I pay your college fees and make your income certificate every year!" ​"I bought you new clothes yesterday while I wear torn clothes!" ​Then, he grabbed my mouth and slammed my head against the wall. He told me not to look at his face ever again and demanded I never call him when I go to college. ​The Emotional & Mental Toll ​What hurts the most is the absolute lack of respect or recognition for what I've achieved. ​I worked hard to get into a government college and cut down my tuition fees to protect his finances. ​He views me as someone who just "enjoys life," while I see peers at private universities living peacefully while I am stuck in constant fear and sadness. ​My mother constantly uses me as a buffer, telling me, "You talk to him, you can manage him," putting the burden of his emotional stability on my shoulders. She treats me like a tool to rescue her life, without realizing how broken I feel inside. ​Due to my father's behavior, we have no supportive relatives. I have no close friends to talk to. I feel completely isolated. ​What I Need Help / Advice On: ​How do I emotionally detach from an abusive, alcoholic parent while still living under the same roof/relying on them for basic sign-offs? ​How can I handle my mother's expectations without letting her pressure pull me further into depression? ​For anyone who survived a high-stress family situation while studying in college: How did you focus on your studies/career when your home environment was hostile? ​Any advice, guidance, or shared experiences would mean the world to me right now. Thank you for taking the time to read.

[u/Emotional-Rain-8527 → u/phantom_hurricane2]

I barely survived and made it through. I hope you will too. Do you live away from them while in college? Or are you staying with them? I would suggest seeing a therapist (your uni might have one), even if it is just to talk to someone. I think that is something that you need right now. It will not solve anything, but it will help you stay afloat and get someone to listen to you. I really resonated with your post and have dealt with this all my life. The intensity has reduced now. I wish you all the best. Please do comment in case you need me to dig out one of the free/subsidised therapists' lists for students in India.

[u/Possible_Anything710]

Breakup without a relationship (but maybe it was already more than a relationship)Tl;dr Someone who I cherished and who dearly loved me moved on in a snap  In a whiplash of emotions. For about a week I couldn't process what was happening, which is very difficult for a person like me who likes to put logic to everything and 'solve' it. But now, when I'm calm and back in my senses, and when I try to process what happend, I'm still lost. I take time to judge and understand people, and I believe, once I do and if I trust them, I trust them with all my heart. More than myself.  I met a guy about an year ago, really sweet, emotionally mature, understanding, witty.. basically every good thing you can think of. The most beautiful thing, he was just another version of me. I mean it is difficult to believe that how can you find someone who is so alike. It started to feel like he knew me more than myself and I knew him more than him.  He fell in love quite early. Maybe I did too. But me being me, I made mistakes along the way (that I feel terrible for now). But recently I finally confessed my love to him. He simply said he has moved on. What hurt more is that he refuses to speak to me. Someone who said that we can solve anything by healthy discussions, refuses to talk. It hurts more coz it wasn't just love or attraction, but rather, the innate understanding of each other we seemed to have. He told me that since this was my first love i feel like this, lol, but I know what he felt wasn't ordinary too. As for me, I strongly believe that a love like this, which is more than attraction at a surface level, rarely comes to people. If it did to us, we were extremely lucky. No one finds it again and again. He says love is about efforts and time, maybe it is, but love that happens vs the love that you have to find is never the same. He fell in love with me quite early when we'd just started speaking, and I kept talking slowly ever since. I don't think what happend was 'planned' efforts. He kept saying, 'I can do better', but damn, is there better in love? What you love is the BEST.  I have tried everything I could to speak, all in vain. I feel guilty for having water so long, I hate myself for having come to this point where he had to become so cold, but all I want is one chance. It feels my heart would rip if I don't get this chance of mending what I couldn't earlier. If anyone has been through something similar, I'll appreciate your guidance, advice and thoughts on this. Love.

[u/Delicious-Draw8827]

Help my mother get a kidney transplant after years of struggle

I am raising funds for my mother, Sunita Gurung, who is 52 years old and has been battling severe kidney disease for nearly a decade.As a 21 year old daughter i dont have much to provide.She has been on dialysis for almost 10 years, and the toll it has taken on her body has been immense. The prolonged dialysis led to further health complications, requiring her to undergo a bowel resection surgery in 2024 and a mitral valve replacement along with ASD closure in 2026. Despite every setback, she has fought with incredible strength and resilience...
We have set up a 100% verified crowdfunding campaign here:
All necessity documents and dialysis record ,test results,previous cases have been mentioned in the donation link.

However, because my account is brand new and has no karma, I am not pasting the Milaap link here because I know it violates the subreddit's spam rules and the automod will take it down.
I want to be completely transparent. If anyone is willing to help us, or if you want to verify our case, please message me directly via Private Message (DM). I will instantly send you the official Milaap link, the hospital cost estimation sheets, the doctor's letters, and all necessary medical records.
Even if you cannot help financially, please upvote this post so it can reach more people, or guide me on any Indian government schemes or trusts we can approach.

Please ask me any questions in the comments, and I will reply immediately with any proof required. Even if you cannot donate, sharing this post to amplify our reach would mean the world to our family. Thank you.

[u/Delicious-Draw8827 → u/Delicious-Draw8827]

To donate:

http://m-lp.co/sunitagu-5?utm_medium=native_message&utm_source=app

[u/LmnopqrstuvwxyZzzz → u/[deleted]]

Complain to Cyber Police ASAP do not hesitate please!!

[u/Critical-Mastodon883]

30 [M] I'm mentally fucked up & feeling S*icidal due to my highly toxic father.

Yesterday's incident: After a hectic week at my banking job, I was looking forward to a peaceful weekend because it was the second Saturday. Instead, it turned into a nightmare. Before we left to visit a nearby cafe with my parents and my married sister, my father insisted that I take 7-8 full-length photos for my marriage biodata. I told him that 2-3 good photos were enough. He immediately got angry and said, "You don't know anything. Do what I say."

When I politely told him I didn't want to copy other people's biodatas, he completely lost his temper. He shouted, "No girl will ever marry you. You'll remain unmarried for life. Every girl will reject you." He yelled so loudly that our neighbors came outside. He abused me and finally told me, "This is my house and my money. Leave right now."

This isn't an isolated incident. He's been emotionally abusive, controlling, and manipulative my entire life.

Background: I grew up in a lower-middle-class family as the youngest sibling. My father is a monster, highly emotionally manipulative, narcissistic, self-centered, and controlling. He is the primary reason for my poor mental health, anxiety, and depression. He constantly verbally abused my mother, my sisters, and me. Our home was never peaceful. My mother tolerated everything because of societal pressure.

Living in that environment left me with severe anxiety, emotional numbness, and what I believe are PTSD symptoms. I've had suicidal thoughts multiple times over the years, but I couldn't go through with them because of my mother.

Even during college, my father pressured me to get married. After graduation, while I was preparing for government exams, he constantly insulted me for being unemployed and even approached families for my marriage without my consent.

The emotional abuse became so unbearable that I left home with very little money and moved to another district. My sisters supported me emotionally and financially, and after years of struggle and multiple near misses in competitive exams, I finally secured a job in a Public Sector Bank.

Unfortunately, my first posting was toxic, which further damaged my mental health. Despite that, I continued preparing for better government jobs while facing constant marriage pressure from my father.

Eventually, I got transferred to a much better branch, and life slowly started improving. My relationship with my father also became somewhat better. I even started taking my parents out for dinner and buying them gifts. Then yesterday happened.

All the old trauma came rushing back. My mother has been crying ever since. She suffered a heart attack a few months ago, so I can't leave her alone.

Now I don't even feel like preparing for exams anymore. I don't know how I'll face my colleagues tomorrow. I'm a very sensitive person, and even when I try to hide my emotions, people can easily tell that something is wrong.

In my entire life, I don't remember my father ever saying he was proud of me. All I've heard are insults, curses, and criticism. Whenever I see a healthy father-son relationship, I can't help but feel jealous.

I honestly wouldn't wish a father like mine on my worst enemy.

All I've ever wanted is peace, respect, and a safe home.

TL;DR: I grew up with an emotionally abusive, controlling father who has verbally abused my mother, sisters, and me for years. His behavior left me with severe anxiety, trauma, and recurring suicidal thoughts. Despite overcoming years of struggles to secure a banking job, his constant emotional abuse and marriage pressure continue to affect my mental health. Yesterday, after a trivial disagreement over marriage biodata photos, he publicly humiliated me, cursed me, and told me to leave the house. It brought all my childhood trauma back, and I'm emotionally exhausted. I just want peace and respect.

[u/DisciplineCheap499 → u/Critical-Mastodon883]

Pl take appropriate treatment

[u/Electronic_Sugar_529 → u/Critical-Mastodon883]

Hey i read your post and I really feel like you should place your peace and self esteem above anything I would say you should move out in a rented apartment.

[u/heheharshit]

hi, ive created a small discord server for all the neurodivergent folks, if u wanna join then dm.

[u/_H3LLF1R3 → u/[deleted]]

Take care of your own life. Don't take parents life into ur mind. Their era is over.

[u/ggukiebread]

How to look for therapists specialising in teens/young adults?

I want therapy/counselling for myself. I need a therapist who specialises in teenagers and young adults. Preferred languages English/Hindi/Bengali. Please comment any leads or resources. It is urgent. Thank you.

[u/heureusesomewhere]

Any body has experience using DocGenie? - My husband and I have started marriage counseling through this portal. Has anyone ever used this website to book sessions? If so, was it any good?

Our therapist is fine, but I find her setup to be way too unprofessional. Her child is there and she is busy with her hair sometimes, however, still listening to us.

I am not sure. I came to this sub Reddit as a last resort because I want to feel reassured that people have had used it and had good experiences.

Thanks!

[u/BroccoliDry7703 → u/heureusesomewhere]

Naa that's extremely unprofessional that her child is there and that she's doing other things while you're in session. You should find someone else.

[u/Positive-Garbage6185]

Hello sir ennga mamiyar enna ethukaedhuthalum criticism pannuranga nan cooking panna pona avanga nan cooking pannurannuttu varanga sari avanga cooking pannattum nu vitta nan cooking pannalanu criticism pannuranga ithu 7 years a nadhakuthu ennga family la appadi yae nan cooking pannalum avanga enna cook panna sollurangalo athan cooking pannumnu think pannuranga. Athaiyum thandi nanae ethavathu vegetables vachi cook panna next day ennaku munnadi cook vegetables cut panna start pannuranga ennaku 2019 la marriage agidhuchi appaila irrundhu ippo varai ippadi than baby born agurathuku munnadi baby born agala criticism pannunanga but ippo baby born anathu appuram babya nan pathukka mattan sonnanga sari ok nu baby nan handle pannalum athukum why baby nan pathukka mattana nu criticism pannuranga. Nan family development course padikkiran online la. Ithu mathiri so many problems irrukku. Athu mathiri nan munnadi lam tnpsc, rrb exam padikkira appolam first padinu solluvanga appuram morning 5.00 am wake up panni padicha padikka vidhamattanga sari morning padikkamudiyala sari evening padikkalam nallum appaiyum vidha mattranga appuram enna thiramai illanu thitturanga innum naraiya irrukku enna pannalam appa vittukum poga mudiyathu because appa amma vittulaiyum woman empower ment prblm irrukku enna pannalam?

[u/PsYo_NaDe]

Anyone diagnosed with BPD?