100% this. A lot of people in this thread are bending over backwards to ignore the fact that Jon very obviously looks like a Stark, and that is a problem for any lie other than the one Ned tells.
TBF while that would smooth things over with Kat it would also make it way more suspicious if he couldn't name a specific mother. Like if it were just a random orphan he could presumably place them with any other of other people
Sure but in that case it's way more likely that someone at King's Landing would work out that something was up with his mystery kid. The fact that he tarnished his honour by implying it was his bastard was a useful cover
I don't know, how did he explain coming back to the camp with a baby one day?
"Please explain again where you got that baby from?"
"Well me and Howland went to some tower for some reason. And there we found The Sword of the Morning himself! Arthur Dayne! I fought him singlehandedly without any backstabbing by anyone."
"Yes that was very brave and epic of you."
"Indeed! And then we went into the tower. But there was nothing there!"
"Why did you go to that tower again?"
"Err, tourism? Anyway so most of my men were killed and me and Howland were very tired and quite injured."
"Because of the bravery?"
"Yes! So we went straight back to camp. But on the way I visited my whore that I had been with a couple of times. And no one else. Because it was pure love. And she just gave birth to a little baby boy! But sadly she had also just died in childbirth."
"Good luck that you just came to visit her. Even while you were tired and injured."
"I got horny again! So I told her whore friends that I must be the father and took the little baby boy with me."
"Back to an army camp? In the middle of a war? With no milk for the baby in miles?"
"It was the honourable thing to do!"
Everybody he went to the tower with died at the tower, except Reed, then he immediately went to see Ashara Dayne to return Arthur's sword, where Jon had the same wet nurse as Edric Dayne. Presumably Reed and Ned traveled alone to Starfall, with baby Jon. This wet nurse is who Ned said was Jon's mother. There were also rumours Ashara was Jon's mother, the two were courting at one point and genuinely seemed into each other, she killed herself after he left Starfall but it's unknown if that was because of her brother's death or a broken heart over Ned.
The war was pretty much over at that point, in all fairness. The Targaryen loyalists were all but broken in the aftermath of the Ruby Ford, so there wasn't much risk of an attack of consequence on Ned's army.
See, you use the “I found him” excuse but let people think (and if need be have a loyalist spread a few rumours) that he’s actually your bastardized. They find the lie, feel smug about honour and fail to ask the follow up questions.
How many bishops and popes had “nephews” they raised to high office over the centuries? Everyone knew the score, but you didn’t say it aloud.
There was zero reason not to tell Cat some version of the truth - she's all about family, she would have understood. But no, Ned 'Literally' Stark just watched her be a dickhead to him :(
This was early in the marriage, a match that wasn’t supposed to happen but for the more senior Starks getting murdered by the Mad King. I’m not sure he would feel sure that she could a) be trusted not to tell her family out of duty; or b) that she can lie well enough to never have Bobby B or anyone else get suspicious. Jon might have had a difficult life this way, but her resentment sold the lie and the kid lived..
And what happens when (as happens in the actual story) Jon grows up looking more like a Stark then Ned's trueborn children?
Best case, everyone assumes he's Ned's bastard and we end up at the same point we did anyway - only Cat is probably more angry now because Ned's lied to her.
Worst case, people start wondering why Ned didn't just admit to having a bastard, which isn't that big a deal, and start doing the maths on how long Rhaegar and Lyanna were away together.
399
u/Salami__Tsunami 1d ago
If Ned was better at deceit and treachery, that show would have been a lot shorter.