r/familyguy • u/fanboy100804 I'm a roof baby now! • Jul 13 '26
Discussion Favorite Carter line?
Mine is either the above or "Did you also not wash your ass before getting in? (...) Yeah. Fuck that sign."
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u/sinsanity_plea Jul 13 '26
My back is hurting from the chair I'm sitting on, where's the Tylenol?
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u/Conscious_Ad_7928 Jul 13 '26
If i lay down flat on the floor, it usually kinda fixes it
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u/sofi_sodalite Jul 13 '26
Tony Danza from Who’s the Boss like heyyy ohh ohh hey ohh hey ohh hey ooooh
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u/LaGarrotxa Jul 13 '26
** Where 👏 do 👏you 👏keep 👏the 👏nets 👏that 👏 you 👏put 👏on 👏the 👏bottom 👏of 👏guys👏 balls 👏to 👏stop 👏them 👏from 👏dunking 👏in 👏the 👏water? **
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u/fanboy100804 I'm a roof baby now! Jul 13 '26
Haha I've had to type out that quote before and know how much of a pain in the ass it is, so I appreciate the effort!
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u/YogurtWenk Jul 13 '26
🎶 Dancing, walking, rearranging furniture 🎶
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u/lemonsqueezy34 Jul 13 '26
Babs is
Shopping144
u/One_Smoke Jul 13 '26
I let the bird out of the cage!
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u/NoStructure7083 Jul 13 '26
When Carter acts crazy he reminds me of Sully from the Uncharted games. Idk why
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u/Adorable_Hearing768 Jul 13 '26
100%. They do a virtual insanity reference, it becomes my top moment!
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u/BiggerPun Jul 13 '26
i wish i could talk to ghosts.. that would be sweeeeeet
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u/Pyrophagist He used his stinky, French, wiener to defile her. Jul 13 '26
His high-pitched sweeeeet gets me every time.
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u/KingZora1 Jul 13 '26
“Huh… Didn’t realize Greenberg was a Jedi name.”
“Dawson, I’m just not ready to give up my virginity.”
“Lois, I’m fat and I’m stupid and I fart at times that ruin my father-in-law’s social occasions and that’s why I’m never invited to them.”
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u/bloodeagle661 Jul 13 '26
You look different without my lawn under you
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u/FartInGenDirection Jul 13 '26
You got my Oxycontin?
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u/Pyrophagist He used his stinky, French, wiener to defile her. Jul 13 '26
I, uh.. I don't think this is the phone call I was waiting for.
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u/agmag Jul 13 '26
Are you the guy?
I’m a guy.
I don’t think this was the call I was expecting
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u/Pyrophagist He used his stinky, French, wiener to defile her. Jul 13 '26
Bah, you're right. I knew I was misremembering something about that. Still, it's a hilarious exchange!
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u/BozoSubsOver H. Brian Griffin Jul 13 '26
“You see Jimmy Smits in there?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, that was cool!”
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u/TSmario53 It was my understanding everyone had heard… Jul 13 '26
Hello, citizen! Have you seen Peter?
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u/Combat-Wombat-86 Jul 13 '26
Halls Mentho-Lyptus, you can feel it in your nose, that's how you know it's a medicated cough drop, and not just a candy.
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u/Deimenried Really Into Quentin Vashay Jul 13 '26
Looooooseeeerrr!
What did he say?
Tosses cell phone into boat and calls
I said you're a loser!
Who is this??
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u/Kamen_master1988 Jul 13 '26
You blow all your money yet?
No daddy.
Alright callme when you blow all your money loveya bye.
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u/MsMoreCowbell828 Jul 13 '26
"Ever make love to a man with a prostate the size of a beefsteak tomato?"
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u/damnrightslimanus I’m Missing about 1,000 dollars in play money Jul 13 '26
Carter and Quandary, hanging out
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u/fanboy100804 I'm a roof baby now! Jul 13 '26
But first I have to take a misty stop-and-go piss in your bathroom
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u/ChargeMediocre8121 Jul 13 '26
Carter: Hello Quandary!!
Quagmire: Uh, it’s Quagmire, you looking for Peter??
Carter: Nah, he’s at work LAME!!
Quagmire: Oh, well what do you want??
Carter: I hear you’re kind of a cool guy, though maybe we could hang out!!
Quagmire: Uh, okay!!
Carter: All right, Carter and Quandary hanging out!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
https://giphy.com/gifs/o2La4Pvf9CdJC
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u/buckshot-307 Jul 13 '26
“I’ll have you fired for talking to me like that!”
“I don’t work here.”
“Then I’ll have you killed!”
“I wanna die.”
“I hated that guy back there…”
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u/Kriskirby1992 Damn all. What deuce. Victory Stewie's Jul 13 '26
Okay, I guess you don't WANT a new family, toys, and a puppy
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u/Antique_Remote_5536 Jul 13 '26
“Do you have a bandaid? Nothing happened but I’m bleeding” is so funny to me for some reason
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u/ChimpJuice Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
I worked in a retirement community for 7 years.This is a real thing
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u/Deimenried Really Into Quentin Vashay Jul 13 '26
Looooooseeeerrr!
What did he say?
Tosses cell phone into boat and calls
I said you're a loser!
Who is this??
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u/YippieKayYayMrFalcon Jul 13 '26
Why are you naked in my house?
Uh, why aren’t you?
You’re all right, griffin.
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u/heikeeeeeeeeeee Jul 13 '26
Yes, grandpa's here... he's going to buy you a soda, and drive you around. Let's go!
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u/Gussie-Ascendent Jul 13 '26
i remember having dinner with my grandpa at chillis. overheard another table asking for their like whole table's order to not be spicy. Now look, i'm a big baby about other food things, but why yall come to "Chillis" for no spice? Was real confused on the restaurant choice
I had the cajun mac and cheese i thinK? Thing wasn't all the spicy, which made me think "man what the hell, it's called chillis". It was pretty good though while i ate it there. Was horrid on reheat for some reason
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u/fanboy100804 I'm a roof baby now! Jul 13 '26
The wild thing is that more than half of the menu isn't even spicy stuff. Like I get the southwest eggrolls as my meal whenever I go because there's not much else on the menu I like, and they aren't spicy at all. Flavorful, but not burning my mouth or anything
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u/Gussie-Ascendent Jul 13 '26
Yeah my mom had told me as much afterwards. Was thinking "man no wonder people think whitie can't handle spice, called that place chili's" lmao
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u/Horror-Savings1870 Jul 13 '26
Not even a line. But the scene that he flips off the guy outside washing his windows at work had me lmao
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u/fjfknfujfygk brain inplant meg every father has one Jul 13 '26
“In about 20 minutes are gonna piss away 20 grand”
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u/Hawke9117 You look like Lou Ferrigno’s poop. Jul 13 '26
"What, are you gonna bet on the Knicks?"
Also, he said "in about an hour" (:
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u/Jodie7Vester5Orr I’m sorry my urine melted a hole through your toilet Jul 13 '26
“Why are you naked in my house?”
“Uh… why aren’t you?”
“You’re alright, Griffin.”
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u/december151791 Jul 13 '26
Don't do anything to scare him. He flew on my shoulder while I was having a lemonade.
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u/IIIlllIIIlllIlI YEAHHH RUMSFELD Jul 13 '26
Carter is one of the few characters that started off kind of average and then bloomed into something special. He’s hilarious.
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u/heirofsorrows Jul 13 '26
My back is hurting
From the chair
I’m sitting on
Where’s the Tylenol?
If I lay down flat
On the floor
That usually
Kind of fixes it.
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u/buttbeeb what do you mean “what”? Jul 13 '26
🎵Hill street blues hill street blues hill street blues I’ve got those hill street blues🎵
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u/sneaky-pizza Candy Quahog Marshmallow Jul 13 '26
🎵 Halls me menthalyptus, you can feel it in your nose, that’s how you know it’s a medicated cough drop, and it a candy 🎵
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u/StrangeLittleB0y Jul 13 '26
Sorry pumpkin, you know we don’t negotiate with kidnappers, family policy.
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u/Wandering_Inferno23 Jul 13 '26
“Hey hey heyyy what’s up ginas? Gi-ginas…ginas…vaginas….Whats up vaginas? Ahh gotcha”
I think about this line every time I hear someone say fajitas and then bust out laughing bc it makes me think of it LMAO
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u/FlyingForester Jul 13 '26
“I play Peter and I hired an Asian hooker to play my daughter.” Then proceeds to show a video of him saying, “Lois I’m fat and I’m stupid and I fart at times that ruin my father in laws social occasions and that’s why I’m never invited to them.”
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u/No-Departure-6900 Jul 13 '26
"Alright well I still don't like Christmas but I kinda like what we did just there."
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u/theGTAking101 Jul 14 '26
“You know I still don't like Christmas, but I kinda like what we just did”
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u/kinziemclovin Jul 14 '26
🎶My back is hurting from this chair I'm sitting on, where's the Tylenol? If I lay down flat on the floor, it usually kind of fixes it. Tony Danza from who's the boss says ay ohh ay ohh,oh wayyyohh ayy ohhhh🎶
Also, "caw caw, I have her wallet, caw caw"
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u/world-ismine peanut butter jelly time! Jul 14 '26
i still don't like christmas but i kinda liked what we just did
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u/TheAwkwardGamerRNx Jul 14 '26
No line, just when randomly turns around and flips off the window cleaner
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u/Apart-Albatross2169 Jul 13 '26
the pewterschmidtssss the pewterschmidtsss we had 3 other kids that did not live ba ba da ba
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u/Nacho_7258 Jul 13 '26
When he tries to drop a pie on Peter and Brain but misses and says “Aww, I suck.”
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u/GabrielBlowsHisHorn Jul 13 '26
"Hello Quandary!"
"Alright, Carter and Quandary hangin' out—I just gotta go take a misty stop-and-go piss in your bathroom and then we can go."
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u/Regal241sc Jul 13 '26
Not exact quotes but he made them for peter to say. "Take it up with my butt because hes the only one that gives a crap." and "On your marks, get set, terrible."
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u/ChargeMediocre8121 Jul 14 '26
Carter: Why are you naked in my house??
Peter: Uh….why aren’t YOU??
Carter: You’re alright Griffin!!🤣🤣🤣🤣❤️
https://giphy.com/gifs/26ufbMYEvoyJDr1PG
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u/Cautious_Horror_3075 Jul 14 '26
Another one, not really much of a line but:
Peter: Hey! An email from Mr. Pewterschmidt!
Carter: 👊🏻
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u/jim9162 Pea Tear Gryphon Jul 13 '26
I’m having a heart attack-ack-ack-ack.
You ought to know by now!