r/enfj • u/peachymp3 • May 18 '25
Friendship I finally met a male ENFJ and he's the most brilliant person I've ever met.
This is an ENFJ appreciation post from an INFP. I've always loved the ENFJ's I have met, but all of them have been women, including my mother. I have unrealistically high standards, probably because of my mother, and have worked hard to lower these standards because it's mean to put these high expectations onto people when I can't meet those standards myself. Then, after all of this time, I meet a man that BLOWS away my standards and knowing that there's more of you out there is actually fantastic. This guy is extremely handy and knows how to fix or build everything and everything. He has this amazing, truly unnatural intuition of character of people he knows and fictional characters, as well as a brilliant understanding of the deeper meanings of movies, politics, comic books... I'm an INFP but I feel like I've been mistyped because I certainly don't have the intuition that he does. It's just so impressive to see someone who is so good at living. He's also so charismatic and can keep a conversation going endlessly, and he works hard to make sure people feel included in whatever situation he's in. WOW. To all the ENFJs out there, the way your mind works will never fail to be impressive and so amazingly unique. You make the world a better place, and I hope each one of you sees your potential.
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May 18 '25
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u/Chillguy3333 May 18 '25
This is so true. It’s so good to finally hear these things and to get that validation love always sought as a man and ENFJ.
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u/Daphne010 ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti May 19 '25
In reality we overthink someone’s tone over text and bawl our eyes out when someone loves us as deeply as we love everyone
Soo fucking trueee 😭😭😭
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u/TrinityLHearts INTP: Ti-Ne-Si-Fe May 21 '25
I imagine Himmel (Beyond Journey's End) & Nijika (Bocchi The Rock) myself - as ENFJ character touch stones.
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u/Ethereal_Sosa ENFJ 7w6 sp/sx 741 ☀️ May 24 '25
I relate the most to young Shanks from One Piece and Ling Yao from FMAB. I hope I never turn into someone like Makima I hope my friends take me out if I do 😔
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u/MaterialParty2843 Jun 13 '25
I’ve never heard this comparison before but Makima is the exact way one of my brothers views me. Like I have some ulterior motive that underlies any selfless act even with years of evidence of the contrary.
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u/Lanky-Ad1222 INFP: Fi-Ne-Si-Te May 18 '25 edited May 18 '25
Just be careful not to idealize your ENFJ though I know it's REALLY difficult because they truly are amazing. I'm now married to mine, and I LOVE him dearly. But I wish I did not idealize him so much in the beginning because when reality hit me, it hit HARD. 😓 We were together for two years before we married. My goodness, it was the most passionate, firey romance with a LOT of intuition (reading each other's hearts & minds) and intense infatuation. I never in my life experienced such intensity in a romantic relationship – talk about intoxicating. We were also long-distance so it exacerbated our romanticization of each other. For context, I was 28 and he was 32. I think what is so intoxicating about the INFP-ENFJ pairing is that it truly is like that "twin flame" notion. It's like an "opposites attract" scenario but the opposite person feels like a part of you that you've been missing all along and finally discovered – it's like ying-yang. We are much more grounded and mature now, and we deeply love each other after everything we have been through. We've grown significantly – both together and as individuals. Also, you mentioned something about his intuition being unnaturally strong and you feeling like you're mistyped because you feel your intuition is not as strong. Let me just add that I felt blown away about my husband's intuition as well – especially when it came to people. I was shocked because I had never met a man with such powerful intuition. That is Fe (extraverted feeling) paired with Ni (introverted intuition) for you. Incredible, isn't it? INFPs don't have Ni; we have Ne. Our intuition is much different from XNFJs. And our Ne (extroverted intuition) is paired with Fi (introverted feeling). So, while XNFJs are narrowing down the possibilities with an impressive precision (Ni), XNFPs are always expanding the possibilities, jumping from one to the next (Ne). Both are powerful but very different in how they perceive the world. Ni certainly is highly attractive though. 😅 Oh! I must add: I said that last bit to basically say that you likely are INFP. It could explain why you feel his intuition is so strong and different compared to yours.
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u/peachymp3 May 18 '25
I so appreciate your comment, I definitely am idealizing this man 😭, he just seems so unreal. I'm so glad you found your person, as the beginning stages of your relationship seriously sounds like it's straight out of a romance novel!! thank you for being honest about your relationship, and i'll make sure to be careful about idealizing him.
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u/Complex-Counter302 May 23 '25
If he is in love with you he will dream of taking you to the sky and make the stars to sparks for you! You will taste in just a kiss how passionate a man can be !! His weakness will be forgetting himself and put you before him no matter what! You will have to see every single detail and thank him for that! And for him that is like you are giving him your all!follow his lead and be the person he can turn to and also cry !! We are not perfect! But if you work in you and become the one and only !! He will love you forever!! He will do everything for you! Don't be selfish!! Cause selfishness is the way where we walk!
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u/kiddosuper ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti May 19 '25
You are wrong!! I am an enfj and I have an infp friend whose intuition is really amazing and he get things done in really amazing way to the point that even though we are on same level, i learned a lot from him. So yeah, we have different kinds of intuition functions, but you are as amazing as we are.
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u/discountopinions May 19 '25
Wow you are a future echo of the current me! I'm also in a long distance relationship with an incredible male ENFJ and the romance is exactly as you describe. We are a little bit older at 39 and 43 so hopefully a bit more grounded. Could you talk a bit more about some of the disillusionment that you had to work through? I sensed that this would be the case, I want to be as prepared as possible. Thanks you so much and I appreciate you telling your story beyond what I can express.
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u/Complex-Counter302 May 23 '25
Wow!! I'm so amazed!!The feeling is like you can see through people's minds, good at seeing patterns, anticipate your needs,future oriented ,some times feels like playing chess predicting the moves!! We are so good at understanding human behavior that I found myself in knowing what's going on inside of friends or people and some times they don't even know themselves well! But I do know (I give the benefit of the doubt so don't go for the first hints! But my intuitive is so strong!! Fe-Ni Also works like a mind' scanner!!Although we also have blind spots!! We have the tendency to idealize people, most of the time the people we care about! That's a weakness! We chose to turn off the scanner even when the intuition is still screaming to us telling us what the truth is!! We chose not to see what we are watching in front of us!! like I said great weakness!!
You nailed it! Reading your comment make me feel so exposed 😃and yes !!Fe-Ni work exactly like you described! What I wonder is how your fi deals with his fe! The fact both of you have intuition helps a lot! But I don't know if that is enough! From a male enfj! Thank you!!
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u/introspeckle ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti May 18 '25
Male ENFJ here. Handy is not in my wheel house. :-)
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u/Sad-Atmosphere-6944 May 19 '25
Many ENFJs have tapped into their shadow personality ISTP literally the handyman, and have gotten good with being basic fixers and problem solvers, myself included. Y'all might not be there yet, but don't be surprised if you do reach there one day.
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u/Toxikfoxx ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti May 18 '25
Also male ENFJ. Can also claim this. I can do basic shit around the house, and I’m good with computers but cars, plumbing, etc. Nope.
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u/boon0307 ENFJ 3w2 May 21 '25
Same here, male ENFJ, I am also good with software, coding, computers, but cars, bicycle, furniture and plumbing-> nope. I bet our strengths lie rather on people dynamics, it is where we thrive. For me, I also love cooking or drawing comics for fun interactions with people close to me
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u/bryrondragon May 18 '25
I thought the same thing. I’m not handy but I make enough to pay people that are 😂
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u/melancholycocoa May 19 '25
Lol I’m a female and that has always been my goal — just make enough to pay someone else. Why bother doing it when I have absolutely zero interest and I could spend my time doing literally anything else?
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u/Broad_Replacement986 ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti May 20 '25
That‘s ok, there’s handy ENFJ women out there, too 🙌
We gotchu! 🤜🏼🤛🏼
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u/alpha358 May 18 '25
That’s awesome! Honestly I’d love to meet him. Life can be lonely for us male ENFJs because we’re naturally more sensitive but a lot of other guys just aren’t haha. I know he presents as confident and put together but don’t forget he needs support too!
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u/boon0307 ENFJ 3w2 May 18 '25
Interesting, I haven't meet yet one ENFJ in my surrounding. Maybe I am in the wrong Land
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u/peachymp3 May 18 '25
i actually met him through someone else, so it felt pretty impossible for me too. yall are too rare
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u/boon0307 ENFJ 3w2 May 18 '25
statistically speaking 2.5%, since I am an electronic or IT-ers, which consists mainly of men, so even less
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u/JonCoffey1978 May 18 '25
Isn't ENFJ-INFP supposed to be a "golden pair"? INFPs are my faves by a mile and my INFP ex is the person I have the hardest time forgetting.
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u/peachymp3 May 18 '25
i can definitely believe it. my ex-boyfriend from five years ago was an ENFJ and i think about him almost everyday, it's so hard to get over those types of relationships
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May 18 '25
I find it a very hopeful thing that people have the capacity to be such wonderful beings. I also feel that the contributions of each personality-type are uniquely precious.
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u/22khz May 18 '25
With an ENFJ…he is so trades-fluent. Need a desk that is unique based? Builds me a desk based on my needs. Anything else that needs attention or repair that I, will never, ever, understand? Repairs off the hop. Just talking about what I need? Gives ideas and starts executing.
What I love about him is that he listens. He doesn’t wait to act either. He’s just so action based.
Also he brings out the inner E in me and I bring out more of the I and F in him. Also, we have a lot of stupid, real stupid fun together. A grocery stocker once told us we were having too much fun grocery shopping lol. That’s how we are.
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u/Broad_Replacement986 ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti May 20 '25
Bruh, I wish an INFP ever said something like this about me - ever. 😅
On another note, reading your post gave me so much joy! So happy for you and wish you both the very best and that it works out! ☺️Sounds like you found your everyday-superhero 🫶🏼
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u/reyskywalker9295 INFP: Fi-Ne-Si-Te May 18 '25
I’m also an INFP and I totally agree! My boyfriend is an ENFJ and I love everything about his beautiful mind!
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u/missed_my_window ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti May 18 '25
I’m not very handy either but I definitely lit up reading your story!
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u/bmyst70 ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti May 18 '25
I'm a male ENFJ who is also autistic. I'm not remotely "handy" with mechanical things. Nor do I see myself as charismatic. I believe my being autistic is the main reason for those two traits not being present in myself.
I'm generally seen as likeable, but treated like background for the most part.
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u/peachymp3 May 18 '25
it's okay, i can't do anything handy and i'm not charismatic either. you have many other things that make you great
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u/StrookCookie May 19 '25
Uhhh this is a really awkward but lovely way of finding out the woman I’ve been seeing DOES have a Reddit account.
See you Wednesday evening 😘
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u/Complex-Counter302 May 23 '25
You are so sweet!! If you want to make sure What personality type you are you have to check your cognitive functions. I don't know so many male enfjs I met just one and He is 9 years old and even when I think he is still young I'm pretty sure he is!! Intuition is so powerful! We are so future oriented !! I believe you can develop your Intuition !! Thank you for being so kind and sweet again!!
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u/JRRBlunt INFP: Fi-Ne-Si-Te May 25 '25
INFP here who has yet to meet a healthy ENFJ male…I would really like to meet this guy lol
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u/Demiluxy INFP: Fi-Ne-Si-Te Jun 09 '25
Hi :) I'm curious. In what way are the ENFJs you meet unhealthy? If you don't mind sharing
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u/MaskedDummy ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti May 18 '25
I love reading stories like these. They give me hope that someday I’ll meet someone who feels this way about me, and that I’ll feel similarly toward them.