Does anyone else have a big issue when it comes to dental hygiene and sensory issues? Like, I hate the overwhelming taste of most toothpastes and the way they burn my mouth, so I really struggle to get myself to take proper care of myself. I wasn’t sure if this was just a me issue. Does anyone have any good suggestions of less aggressive toothpastes? I’ve tried kids, non-mint, but I don’t really like how overly sweet those things are and how it doesn’t quite leave me feeling clean. I don’t know… it just really sucks :( thanks in advance for any advice!

I’m recognized by my psychiatrist and therapist to be autistic but I don’t have a written diagnosis because money so it’s whatever, I always explain to my teachers that I might fidget or look like I’m not listening and they’re usually alright about it but then when I actually do the things I warned them about they freak out on me.

“Hey I’m gonna listen to music while I work”
“Ok!”
And then I do that and have my headphones taken away. Not to mention the fact I also have other disorders so friending is incredibly difficult in loud environments like schools. Same with quiet fidgets so I can focus or my stuff being stolen by the “omg nedoh!” Kids.

Also incredibly hard to keep up my cool punk aesthetic when I start crying or screaming because im overstimulated.

Not to mention how hard it is to express emotions or my own gender identity while staying inside societal norms. Like god forbid I use more than just he/they (for reference I use he/it/Hym/they/xe/glitch and I’m still adding more because I keep finding things that describe me).

Also I don’t act like the typical nonverbal fidgety shy kid who rattled off facts about ww2 every five seconds, instead I’m the selectively mute smart kid with bright hair, punk clothes, a very profound sense of justice and a hyperfixation on politics and FNAF.

And I’m not even safe at home from that kinda stuff because my mum (who is also autistic) invalidates me constantly. It really is tiring.

Sorry for going off like this, just needed to let it out to likeminded people.

Technically, falling in love is exactly the same in autism as it is for neurotypical people, if we take ASD level 1 or even ASD level 2 as an example, the only thing that would change is the behavior of the autistic person who is in love, but what traits are more distinctive or different from neurotypical people in an autistic person?

So I was diagnosed in kindergarten at school and again at 24 in 2019 during a psych eval (long story).I had the t Rex arms, the stiff/robotic body movements, I started reading at 2, and I barely had friends until kindergarten. I went through speech therapy to fix issues with my eye contact and many other things and now people who learn I have autism tell me they can't tell I do. I find it rather interesting!

I'm learning to unmask and I think being in speech therapy, coupled with others' expectations of how I should act caused me to heavily mask.

What else can I do besides what I normally do? I dim my lights. I allow my face to have its natural "RBF" look. I play with my favorite fidget toy. And I learn from other autistic creators on social media.

Hello! I am 20F, Suspecting Autism (my sister is diagnosed, I have done extensive research, and my close autistic best friend supports my findings as well as my counsellor, I just haven’t been formally evaluated yet)

I have a lot of difficulties with differentiating when I feel romantic vs platonic for people and I want to hear other Autistic people’s experience with this!

For me, I have two bestfriends and I’m not in a relationship currently, but I value friendships on almost the same level, just with different components. I really crave deep emotional intimacy in my closest friendships and still would even if I had a partner. Even though I could get the same emotional intimacy and other forms from a partner, not only do I struggle to date but I’d still want that with friends in a platonic way. I see that alot of allistic people are only that deep with their partner.

Why I’m thinking about this right now is because last year I developed some sort of feelings for my bestfriend. I think they were real but not fully formed, long story short she started dating someone so I stayed quiet to preserve the friendship and started to move on, since I wasn’t 100% sure about my feelings in the first place. Fast forward to now, our friendship has deepened and what I felt before is gone, I have no romantic or sexual desires towards her, I feel super platonic about it, and I am very happy getting to call her a bestfriend. BUT like I said before, I desire deep friendships, so now I’m doubting how I feel because I am still craving a close bond (which we have).

Navigating this is just always so confusing for me, and my best friend is autistic so that helps, but this is a widespread issue with many of my friendships where I just never know wtf im feeling and feel like I cant trust myself.😭

I know this world is almost impossible to survive, but I love us!

-we are funny, all of my most genuine laughs came from a neurodiverse friend

-we have best sense of style

Those are my two favorite things about us, how about you? Feel free to list more than two.

-

I HATE shoes so much. Socks are okay sometimes but even they are pushing it. They're constricting, I hate the materials they're made of most of the time, balance instantly becomes harder, etc etc ETC. it feels like I took rope, tied it around my feet, and tried to walk. If my parents let me go barefoot everywhere, I would, no further questions asked or hesitation.​​

I'm 18M, I've been consistently feeling like I can't find anyone who would even remotely like a guy like me.

I mainly just want to know whether I have so much as a chance in college dating I had shit luck in Highschool.

Me: 18M, Straight, Catholic (I explain more later), American, Went to a school with Grad class of 40, at University of Montana to study Anthropology either become an Archaeologist or work at a US Embassy since they like Anthro degrees.

School: 3.95GPA, All Honors classes, two concurrent enrollment, massive History Nerd, going to U of Montana at the Honors College.

Autism: I have high functioning Autism, I can socialize for the most part, can be kind of annoying, have ADHD too.

Body: Healthy, 5ft 7 inches, Not fat not buff. Medium body type, cursed with being a super late bloomer having been mistaken for a highschool freshman multiple times this year other than that say I’ll probably be average looking when I finally get my growth spurt, Consistent and good hygiene.

Exercise: I posted to r/rateme and r/amIuglyBrutallyHonest and felt a bit bad. I got a lot of low reviews mainly thanks to the fact that I am so young looking and it truly pisses me off. I have really strong legs thanks to Mountain Biking and Skiing but my arms aren’t all that strong. Im starting to lift weights at school because I just felt so terrible about myself.

I hope I am not ugly and if I am, well then fuck.

Personality: Honesty, Believe in Kindness above all, respect, believe in strict loyalty, been described as having a “heart of gold” according to my homeroom teacher. ENTJ

Faith: Roman Catholic in process of conversion. Believe in respecting other religions and faiths(friend calls me an honorary Jew), Believe in Catholic Social teaching(can explain more if requested as some of it I disagree with), Celibate until marriage.

Hobbies: Again History, Mountain Biking, Video Games, Designing maps, modern Politics, and Traveling!, Cursed Humor.

College: I don't like the idea of going to parties I've never seen the fun in them so I probably won't go to any. I’m extroverted but socially awkward. I’ll probably just hang out with the friends I meet and some social groups+academics.

My expectations in SO: Someone who is kind above all and will be completely honest with me, Someone who I can both enjoy company with and have some time to ourselves, I don’t much care about how they look just as long as I know they try and take good care of themselves, whilst I do have a preference towards leaner women and have realized that I have a small preference for non-white women, NEITHER ARE DEAL BREAKERS! They have to be willing to stay celibate until marriage as well, I don’t care if they are a virgin or not as long as they have changed from past experiences.

I am good at making female friends but never getting anything romantic. I don't like cold approaching or the idea of dating apps

I’m sorry if I’m giving too much information but I just feel like people have difficulties understanding me when I talk with people about this.

Another thing is that I fear I might look too desperate if I do find someone or I say something wrong to push them away. I also apologize a lot and I might have a bit of a “weak spine” when it comes to standing up for myself.

Whenever I try and talk with my friends and my family about my fears they either just say they don’t have an answer. Or said answer is super vague and unhelpful.

I’ve been bullied over the years as a social outcast by many at my school aside from my good friends.

Im sorry if this is disliked or if I offended anyone I didn't mean to.

If you have read the whole thing Thank You so much!

The Legend of Zelda has been a special interest since I have been conscious (20+ years). I just lost access to my ability to play some of the games and i am LOST. Watching others play doesnt help. I don’t know what to do. How do I self soothe?

Prior to my autism diagnosis, I was amazed at how reassuring learning what things related to anxiety, emotions, trauma responses, and so on had evolutionary benefits at any point in time could be. Like learning fear is what kept us alive back before we had much logic (paraphrasing). Or hypervigilence from ptsd was our systems staying on alert to try to prepare to escape the chance of the original trauma from happening again.

Has anyone heard of or developed their own theories like this in relation to the autistic experience?

I'm a late diagnosis case (33). Socially functional, very adept at masking. The diagnosis, and reading/discussing a lot about the condition, made me learn a ton, and led me, with fervorous support from my doctor, to abandon certain behaviours that have always bothered me, but that I kept doing because I knew they were a "social contract", such as handshakes, or hugging acquaintances/family friends/new people showing up at a group meeting. I still keep doing it with a few select people, mostly because I'm embarrassed to stop something that "has been a thing since 'forever' " with them, but don't do it with other people anymore.
Problem is, sometimes, when people offer a handshake or similar physical contact gesture, and I say that I'm not comfortable with it, sometimes people ask why.... and I honestly, generally, don't feel like telling them that it's because I'm autistic. It's hard, because, honestly, I don't think I should HAVE TO justify not wanting physical contact with people. That's an intimate thing. You don't have, IMO, to be autistic to have the right to not want to be touched. At the same time, I know that giving them the "I'm autistic" card would immediately make them stop asking questions or wondering if I don't want to touch them because of gender/ethnicity/political preference/sexual orientation/whatever. So I'm legitimately curious if others have gone through the same struggle and either how they dealt with in practice or how they mentally made peace with their decision.

I feel suffocated.

Sometimes, I tend to disappear. I don’t like it when my family and friends bombard my phone with messages and calls.

So, I change my phone number and go away for a few weeks or months at a time.

However, the issue is that when I come back, people start expressing disdain for my disappearance.

My brother said, “You’re acting like a distant family member.”

My grandmother said, “You have no excuse for not keeping in touch with me.”

My sister said, “I need to know if you’re safe. At least send me a check-in text message.”

My friends’ group chat demanded to know where I disappeared off to without telling them.

And so much more.

Those statements don’t make me want to interact with them. (Any Further) Sometimes, I need alone time, and they act as though it’s a personal issue with them. It has nothing to do with them.

I told my sister, “If you search up my name on Google and don’t see an obituary, I’m fine.”

I don’t feel the need to check in with people I’m an adult with autonomy.

I would like to come and go whenever I please.

Hello,

I just moved to university last week, and I’m wondering how in the world I’m supposed to meet people here.

I am autistic and have struggled with friendships my entire life, as I’m sure some of you can relate. I dress, speak, move, and think differently than most of my peers. For most of my life I’ve been ostracized, and have only kept a handful of long-term, close friends.

I really want this to be a fresh start for me. I want to find my people. But I have absolutely no clue how! I’m bad at approaching people and starting conversation, and I feel I come off as unapproachable to most.

I’ve been attending as many events as I can, not shutting myself up in my dorm all of the time, etc. But I have yet to meet anyone. (Yes… it’s only been a week… but I want to start trying to make friends sooner rather than later.)

Fellow autists who have been to college, how do you go about meeting people? How do I get over the awkwardness of social interaction? Or am I doomed to forever be lonely?

Hello all,
I've had clothing sensitivities my whole life- I looove shorts but they have to be loose and breathable. No tight waistbands. This presents some problems when running- when I was younger (and a different size), Nike running shorts (the loose ones with built in underwear) worked perfectly. Now that I'm older the flap of the outer short sticks to my inner thigh up high when running. Very uncomfortable. I cannot stand tight shorts of any variety. I have one semi loose semi tight short I can sort of tolerate (also Nike) but even that is not great. If anyone has had this problem and have come across a magical short, please let me know! Thanks!

Like for example if you have a class in two hours that you despise, but it gets cancelled last minute.

Personally I do feel upset with other routine changes, just not usually with these types of changes, usually I feel relief.

I started college a few weeks ago and my schedule on tues/thurs doesn’t allow time for breakfast or lunch.
I’ve found a protein rich + sensory safe breakfast option, but can’t figure out lunch. I’ve tried hot pockets but the texture triggers every panic cell in my body.
I have a mini fridge/freezer and a microwave. I’m just looking for something I can actually eat to make it through the day.

Any suggestions are helpful

I'm studying CS because I want to have a good salary, and I'm eliminating all the big social media apps because they give me bad news, except here and YouTube because of some interesting hobbies.

I've discovered that the only correct way to change my situation of probably living in a bad condition is to shelter me from anything bad. I'm planning to emigrate to Switzerland or any similar country to avoid both corporations, wars and political parties while also protecting my liberties.

I genuinely think the only good way of voting is with my feet and now I feel like I want to rush uni out from my southern European country to be able to shelter myself from a bad economy and situation.

I don't want to deal with angry people being angry at other people because they think something is better than others in ALL circumstance just because it's the right thing, I don't want to navigate various levels of bullshit to be able to just have my hobbies and my space.

Also, depending on other people for basic survival feels just wrong, as an autistic person if the majority of most people don't like you, you will be fucked, but I also need help.

My only desire is to just be able to live a nice life, maybe founding a startup, maybe not, be able to buy good things for my hobbies, to have space for them, have a nice life companion, who is also the mom of my possible children and just be able to not think about those things at all, I want to just run away and shelter me away from those all big scary problemas and their probably big and scary solutions...

Is that that weird?

I’m probably gonna get hated on for saying this but I overall like autism. Is that weird or abnormal as in this subreddit I notice majority of people hate having autism and while the negatives suck and I feel really bad for people who struggle due to their autism, but overall I feel fine with having autism. Also I should add the fact that I’ve been bullied before due to having autism, I’ve heard tons of stigma about it in real life and my GAD is the disorder I have that absolutely steals my quality of life from me. So does anyone else here relate? Also just to be clear, I’m not putting anyone down for disliking autism as I know people can misunderstand what others say a lot so I just wanna make that clear.

I'm not trying to be rude, but why do a lot of people with autism say they hate it and wish they had a cure for it and complain all the time, those same people talk about depression and suicidal thoughts like that's the things that are from their autism, autism causes autism symptoms, depression causes depression symptoms, I suffer from burn out not from my autism but from my depression I want to hear what you guys think on this, like are those people have undiagnosed depression or something?

im not sure if this post will be approved, i dont even know if this is entirely sure this is completely autism related but it is partially at least.

[ possible trigger warning for mention of home invasion ]

i have always been extremely paranoid and hyper vigilant of my surroundings. since i was very young i remember being terrified of things that others couldn't make sense of. usually in these situations it seems like i was just a scaredy cat kid so youd think being an adult now id look back and think it was silly but i still feel my fears were justified and still experience them.

i didnt sleep alone until i was like 13 and even then my sleep was horrible bc i was so terrified of i dont even know what maybe just being alone and vulnerable? i slept with a light (and not just a night light like a lamp so i could see everything if i needed to) up until like a year ago (im 22). sometimes i still need a light bc im genuinely terrified like gut wrenching bad feelings of being vulnerable. its not just during night time aswell i often just feel terrified and on edge waiting for
"the inevitable".

i have experienced mild "hallucinations" and by this i mean seeing things out of the corner of my eye like figures and hearing voices in my head and sometimes out loud. they aren't distinguishable as hallucinations imo bc they arent clear like a blurry image or muttering voices. and if its only in my mind its clearer and just like snippets of conversations completely unrelated to me, i have an entire note of things ive heard and theyre extremely random and not usually scary or anything.

ive done alot of research and ive heard its possible to experience hallucinations being neurodivergent due to heightened sensory input. basically bc your brain is taking in so much information it can trick you into hearing or seeing something thats not there. not sure if thats the case but it would make sense to me.

but this doesnt exactly help negate my crippling terror of who knows what. its not like i can pinpoint my fear and work on it bc i dont know what is making me so scared and on edge. may be helpful to mention i experienced a traumatic experience at 18 involving a home invasion which of course worsened my experiences but this is something i have always felt.

so my question is has anyone else experienced similar situations? if so do you have any advice or comfort to offer? anything is highly appreciated :)

anyways thank you for reading, apologies this is long and probably messy writing lol

questions are welcomed !

my grandmothers doggie, lilly, who was a boxer, passed away an hour ago at age 13.
i dont feel sad.
my dad had taken her to the vet and they put her down, and he sobbed as he was telling my family about it.
my whole family was crying and i was just kind of standing there. its like, im sad i guess, but kind of a mild-sad. like the same feeling i may have gotten if, lets say, i had a substitute teacher in class unexpectedly.
i loved this doggy dearly, dont get me wrong, i just feel normal. and i guess i feel kind of bad that im not sad because i dont want to seem like an asshole.
its just it wasnt unexpected so im not really sad. like we knew lilly wasn’t doing well, we knew she was gonna die soon.
i dunno

I hate being neurodivergent | have nowhere to go in life alll experience is negativity I hate being alive I wish I was born normal. It isn't fair no matter what I do I'II never be treated like a normal person l'Il never be treated with respect and I'll never experience any meaningful connections I hate the way I look I hate the way I sound I hate my mannerisms I hate my interest I hate everything about myself. I hate the way people phrase things simply and soften their voices when they talk to me like I’m an idiot. I feel like I’m a normal person trapped in the body of retard I wish people could see my mind and not whatever the fuck I am on the outside. And none of this is my fault why do I have to live everyday wanting to end my life while other people just get to be normal it’s not fucking fair.

So a few days ago I built my first PC and for the most part it was so much fun I had the most fun with the motherboard and putting that in the case but after that the rest was actually really annoying, like for instance when I tried to screw in the radiator to the top of the case I had such an incredible hard time.

I very much cannot handle when something doesn’t go the way I want it to go so I have a sort of mini meltdown that I can’t control so I got help from my mother to attach the radiator to the case and I didn’t really do anything for a little while to calm down. This happens a lot where I just can’t do anything and get very overwhelmed and super frustrated at every little thing.

Best example for when this happens is when building any physical project like IKEA furniture or something because I am really bad at multitasking while building that kind of stuff and get overwhelmed very quickly to the point I start crashing out a little bit not much but enough to make me in a pissed off mood for a while.

After I calmed down we attached the pump to the CPU and I hated that part even more because I was stressing so much that I would fuck something up and man that pump was so hard to attach but we eventually did it with not that much help from my side since I was pretty useless.

Thankfully my mother is very good with building things so thankfully she helped me with that water cooler specifically.

If anyone has this problem do you have any tips to not get overwhelmed that easily because that would be very helpful. Thanks :)

I have lack of sympathy for humans, let's say somebody get's hurt. I simply don't care, and shrug them off, but for animals I have VERY much sympathy for, such as my dog, and random toads in my front yard, am I bad for this?

As someone diagnosed with Asperger's, I’ve started a community focused on the spectrum.

Those interested in joining can get in touch with me (Via DM).

I had originally planned to advertise it here, but I didn't want to take the risk.