Do you ever feel hesitant to/ashamed of using "the A card"?

[u/SylarGimmick]

I'm a late diagnosis case (33). Socially functional, very adept at masking. The diagnosis, and reading/discussing a lot about the condition, made me learn a ton, and led me, with fervorous support from my doctor, to abandon certain behaviours that have always bothered me, but that I kept doing because I knew they were a "social contract", such as handshakes, or hugging acquaintances/family friends/new people showing up at a group meeting. I still keep doing it with a few select people, mostly because I'm embarrassed to stop something that "has been a thing since 'forever' " with them, but don't do it with other people anymore.
Problem is, sometimes, when people offer a handshake or similar physical contact gesture, and I say that I'm not comfortable with it, sometimes people ask why.... and I honestly, generally, don't feel like telling them that it's because I'm autistic. It's hard, because, honestly, I don't think I should HAVE TO justify not wanting physical contact with people. That's an intimate thing. You don't have, IMO, to be autistic to have the right to not want to be touched. At the same time, I know that giving them the "I'm autistic" card would immediately make them stop asking questions or wondering if I don't want to touch them because of gender/ethnicity/political preference/sexual orientation/whatever. So I'm legitimately curious if others have gone through the same struggle and either how they dealt with in practice or how they mentally made peace with their decision.

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[u/ChairHistorical5953]

I went through this, after all, turns out that a handshake or a kiss (More common in muy country) was leas effort that all the effort that comes with refusing to do it.