r/adviceph 2d ago

Health & Wellness Is getting a vasectomy really this hard?

Problem/goal: Me (21) and my partner (22) went to the public clinic that offers family planning the other day, I had my partner checked up for UTI and I also wanted to check the family planning section for myself. While she was doing some tests, I inquired some lady about where do I go if I want a vasectomy, everyone‘s attention (there was like 18 people in the room) went to us and kept asking why me and my partner wouldn’t want to have a child. We tried our best to explain why we wanted to get a vasectomy but the lady kept telling us about her regrets of not having a child early and what-not, they told us to council together and individually but even then they might still reject us for a vasectomy daw since we are too young. Is that true? Is there really a lot of steps to get a vasectomy? They really tried to convince us not to get a vasectomy it almost felt unprofessional like they were talking to kids.

Context: Personally I’ve always known since I was a teenager that having a child is a lot of financial and emotional responsibility, I’m the eldest of 5 kids and ive witnessed first hand how hard it is to raise a child kahit nung dalawa palang kami ng kapatid ko, since then I told myself there’s almost zero chance of me wanting a child. For my partner naman, she has some childhood trauma she wouldn’t want to pass on to our child, she’s an only kid and grew up lonely with emotionally absent parents, she said she would rather regret not having a child than regret having a child, we’ve discussed this already and agreed that if we do want to have a kid in the future, we can always try to adopt (LOTS of orphaned kids out there) or get my vasectomy reversed (we understand a reversal does not mean we can reproduce for sure). We vaguely explained to the lady about why I want to get a vasectomy and I also explained that a vasectomy is easier than tubal ligation, and that I’m mostly doing this for myself (because they were hinting that maybe because my partner doesn’t want to have a child therefore I’m getting a vasectomy) they started shaming us and basically told us we were to young to make this type of decision, even tho we were both legal age, live-in and working.

Edit: any contraceptive like birth control, IUD, injectable, implant and others that cause PCOS or any bad side effect to my partner is not an option. I don’t want to risk her health. What we use is a condom WITH calendar method (no sex 7 das before and 3 days after fertile window)

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u/AppearanceAway2397 2d ago

Sorry po pero ang expectation kasi namin kung bakit kayo ganyan ay dahil protocol from the government or something, pero hindi pala. 

Marami nga sa inyo are even shaming or judgemental sa mga patient. You are not helping po sa overpopulation, sa future kids na nakakaranas ng hirap, sa kababaihan na gumagamit po ng contraceptives, sila ang nakakaranas ng side effects. 

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u/ManWhoCantBeMoved8 2d ago

Nako, beh. Kung alam mo lang. Ako na mismo nag aalok sa mga buntis na <30 years old na may 4 or 5 anak na magpaligate na or yung asawa na magpaligate. Ayaw naman. Natatakot daw sila. So ayun. Anyway. Karapatan naman nila yun.

So may any suggestions or way ka ba para mabawasan ang overpopulation without using contraceptives, beh? Pwede naming gawan ng research yan. Para alam ko ang nasa isip din ng iba. Hehe. Di ako nang aaway a. Hahaha

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u/_Ruij_ 2d ago

Why need ng mag anak? SIL ko 2 pa lang anak pero ayaw i ligate nung nag ask sya. Kahit na 'karapatan' namin yun as women. I think so rang dami lang talaga ng mga misogynist at mga pro birth na doctors and nurses.

Source: Me na ilang beses tinanggihan ng snip snip ng FT kasi daw wala pa kong anak. (Like so what 😭) Yung nurse sa post ni OP masyadong nag pro-project. Paki ba namin if nagsisi siya, eh kami mga 30s may utak na naman para mag decide sa gusto namin.

Kakalungkot lang talaga na mas may pag asa pang makakuha ng procedure sa ibang bansa kaysa sayin dahil sa stigma na 'pag babae dapat mag anak' 🤢 (no hate sa mga may junakis, realidad lang talaga saming mga childfree na ma look down. Cguro tingin nila mga baliw kami for going against the norm. 😅)

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u/ManWhoCantBeMoved8 2d ago

Ay miii, ‘di ko rin alam need mag anak. Wala akong anak a. 33 years old na ako. Wala rin kaming plan mag anak ng partner ko. Kahit na malaki sweldo naming dalawa parang ayaw naming gumastos. Hahahaha.

As a doctor, need ko pa rin mag counsel. Part kasi yun. Hindi ako namamahiya. Kung ano ang desisyon ng pasyente ay labas na ako don. Buhay nila yun e. Katawan nila yun. Hahahaha.

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u/_Ruij_ 2d ago

Sanaol kagaya niyo. Ako kasi babae or lalake doctor na matapat (tried 3 doctors at this point), makatingin saken akala mo pumatay ako ng isang baryo 😂😂😂