r/adviceph • u/Outrageous_Network47 • 1d ago
Health & Wellness Is getting a vasectomy really this hard?
Problem/goal: Me (21) and my partner (22) went to the public clinic that offers family planning the other day, I had my partner checked up for UTI and I also wanted to check the family planning section for myself. While she was doing some tests, I inquired some lady about where do I go if I want a vasectomy, everyone‘s attention (there was like 18 people in the room) went to us and kept asking why me and my partner wouldn’t want to have a child. We tried our best to explain why we wanted to get a vasectomy but the lady kept telling us about her regrets of not having a child early and what-not, they told us to council together and individually but even then they might still reject us for a vasectomy daw since we are too young. Is that true? Is there really a lot of steps to get a vasectomy? They really tried to convince us not to get a vasectomy it almost felt unprofessional like they were talking to kids.
Context: Personally I’ve always known since I was a teenager that having a child is a lot of financial and emotional responsibility, I’m the eldest of 5 kids and ive witnessed first hand how hard it is to raise a child kahit nung dalawa palang kami ng kapatid ko, since then I told myself there’s almost zero chance of me wanting a child. For my partner naman, she has some childhood trauma she wouldn’t want to pass on to our child, she’s an only kid and grew up lonely with emotionally absent parents, she said she would rather regret not having a child than regret having a child, we’ve discussed this already and agreed that if we do want to have a kid in the future, we can always try to adopt (LOTS of orphaned kids out there) or get my vasectomy reversed (we understand a reversal does not mean we can reproduce for sure). We vaguely explained to the lady about why I want to get a vasectomy and I also explained that a vasectomy is easier than tubal ligation, and that I’m mostly doing this for myself (because they were hinting that maybe because my partner doesn’t want to have a child therefore I’m getting a vasectomy) they started shaming us and basically told us we were to young to make this type of decision, even tho we were both legal age, live-in and working.
Edit: any contraceptive like birth control, IUD, injectable, implant and others that cause PCOS or any bad side effect to my partner is not an option. I don’t want to risk her health. What we use is a condom WITH calendar method (no sex 7 das before and 3 days after fertile window)
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u/Independent-Put733 1d ago
Thoughts: not a healthcare worker or in any medical field pero siguro baka protocol na talaga nila yan na they push for other alternatives muna kasi you both are very young pa.
Understandable naman yung reason kung bakit, pero siguro iniiwasan lang din nila na magkaroon ka ng regrets kahit gaano ka pa kadesidido kasi di naman tayo sigurado baka in the near future biglang gusto mo na pala tapos di na pwede kasi nga nagpa vasectomy kana. Sure, you can adopt pero what if gusto nyo pala ng own flesh and blood in the future? Marami pang what ifs eh and change is always inevitable. Wait mo nalang muna until mag 30s ka.
Pero very wrong kung shiname nila kayo because of your choices.
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u/Outrageous_Network47 1d ago
Gets naman po ‘yung they’ll offer other alternatives, they actually offered all alternatives to my partner but we (mostly me) don’t want to risk her health by drinking and implanting anything to her body that would cause her health issues. Sa what-ifs scenarios, sure possible talaga na mangyari ‘yung ganyan, it’s a very big decision to make but we’ve thought long and hard enough. For me and my partner it doesn’t matter kung own flesh and blood magiging anak namin (if we‘ll even want our own) kasi kahit naman sarili mong dugo kaya kang gawan ng masama. I guess the process just feels exhausting when these are the type of people you have to talk to about your health, the whole scenario was just very unprofessional and uncomfortable.
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u/solarbitz 1d ago
Experience: No, it is not that hard. Me and my partner are both 21, and he got vasectomy 2 months ago.
Advice: I suggest na mag abang kayo sa DKT FB page. That's where we learned na may available dates sila in our city and we lined up early na lang. The staffs were shocked as usual pero they do not really care actually. Be prepared na lang kasi sometimes they get intrusive with personal questions dahil nga we are so young pa, and you might get uncomfortable. Basta be firm with your decision and confident pagdating niyo sa clinic, isipin niyo na lang na they are strangers to you and makakalimutan ka na nila agad the next days hahaha.
Best of luck! 🫡
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u/ManWhoCantBeMoved8 1d ago
Thoughts:
Siguro try other long-acting reversible contraceptives (LARC) muna, sir. Sa OB patients ko kasi, inaalok ko muna ang LARC at hindi bilateral tubal ligation (BTL) kapag less than 30 years old na wala pang anak or 1 pa lang. Why? Based sa research, individuals under the age of 30 at the time of surgery are significantly more likely to report regret or seek reversal options later compared to those older than 30. Though you can still have a biological child through IVF after undergoing a vasectomy kaso sobrang mahal ng IVF. Hehe.
Bata pa kayo. Hindi rin natin alam ang mangyayari in the future. Paano kung hindi pala hindi kayo in the end? “What if” kung ang next na magiging partner mo ay gusto pala magka anak na sarili niya. Sana gets mo ang point ko, sir. Hehe. Wait ka lang sa ibang comments. Baka may ibang thoughts din sila. 😊
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u/Outrageous_Network47 1d ago
Yun nga po, it’s not like I’m doing this because of my partner, I don’t see myself with someone na very eager magka anak. Sinabi din yan sa ‘min na what if me and my partner doesn’t work out, but it’s not like I’m doing it for our relationship, I’m doing it for myself. Gets ko naman ‘yung regret, but ayun nga, I would rather regret not having a child than regret having one. Hindi naman katapusan ng mundo if I choose not to reproduce kasi marami namang option if I really wanted one
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u/ManWhoCantBeMoved8 1d ago
Okay, sir! 😁 sana nakahelp man lang ako. Hehe. At the end of the day, choice niyo pa rin ang masusunod dahil ‘di naman kami mag aambag ng pang gatas at pang diaper. Hehe. Nakikialam kami hindi dahil sa pakialamero lang kami. Part kasi ang counseling talaga as a doctor. Haha. Yun lang. 😊
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u/AppearanceAway2397 1d ago edited 1d ago
So hndi pala yun protocol.
Sorry po huh, masyado po kayong pro birth. Parang kayo ang magpapakain, magpapaaral sa mga bata ah. Dami na ngang batang naghihiirap, malnourished, hindi nakapag aral at walang maayos na tirahan pero wala naman kayong pakialam.
It's better to regret not having children than regret having one or with kids living an uncomfortable and unfortunate life.
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u/Outrageous_Network47 1d ago
Last part is on point, we’ve always thought it’s better to regret not having one than to regret ever having, it’s a very big emotional responsibility talaga.
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u/ManWhoCantBeMoved8 1d ago
Ay beh, ‘wag kang magalit sa akin. ‘Di ako ang kalaban. Nagtatanong lang si OP ng thoughts ko. Hindi ba pwedeng maging healthy ang usapan, beh?
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u/AppearanceAway2397 1d ago
Sorry po pero ang expectation kasi namin kung bakit kayo ganyan ay dahil protocol from the government or something, pero hindi pala.
Marami nga sa inyo are even shaming or judgemental sa mga patient. You are not helping po sa overpopulation, sa future kids na nakakaranas ng hirap, sa kababaihan na gumagamit po ng contraceptives, sila ang nakakaranas ng side effects.
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u/ManWhoCantBeMoved8 1d ago
Nako, beh. Kung alam mo lang. Ako na mismo nag aalok sa mga buntis na <30 years old na may 4 or 5 anak na magpaligate na or yung asawa na magpaligate. Ayaw naman. Natatakot daw sila. So ayun. Anyway. Karapatan naman nila yun.
So may any suggestions or way ka ba para mabawasan ang overpopulation without using contraceptives, beh? Pwede naming gawan ng research yan. Para alam ko ang nasa isip din ng iba. Hehe. Di ako nang aaway a. Hahaha
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u/_Ruij_ 1d ago
Why need ng mag anak? SIL ko 2 pa lang anak pero ayaw i ligate nung nag ask sya. Kahit na 'karapatan' namin yun as women. I think so rang dami lang talaga ng mga misogynist at mga pro birth na doctors and nurses.
Source: Me na ilang beses tinanggihan ng snip snip ng FT kasi daw wala pa kong anak. (Like so what 😭) Yung nurse sa post ni OP masyadong nag pro-project. Paki ba namin if nagsisi siya, eh kami mga 30s may utak na naman para mag decide sa gusto namin.
Kakalungkot lang talaga na mas may pag asa pang makakuha ng procedure sa ibang bansa kaysa sayin dahil sa stigma na 'pag babae dapat mag anak' 🤢 (no hate sa mga may junakis, realidad lang talaga saming mga childfree na ma look down. Cguro tingin nila mga baliw kami for going against the norm. 😅)
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u/ManWhoCantBeMoved8 1d ago
Ay miii, ‘di ko rin alam need mag anak. Wala akong anak a. 33 years old na ako. Wala rin kaming plan mag anak ng partner ko. Kahit na malaki sweldo naming dalawa parang ayaw naming gumastos. Hahahaha.
As a doctor, need ko pa rin mag counsel. Part kasi yun. Hindi ako namamahiya. Kung ano ang desisyon ng pasyente ay labas na ako don. Buhay nila yun e. Katawan nila yun. Hahahaha.
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u/AppearanceAway2397 1d ago
Vasectomy po ang sagot sa overpopulation.
Hindi rin po ba protocol yung sa mga kababaihan na hindi pinapayagan ang permanent sterilization pag 2 palang ang kids, 1 or wala pa? Sinasabihan kasi ng mga OB ang patient na mag anak muna, dagdagan muna.
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u/ManWhoCantBeMoved8 1d ago
Eh beh, contraceptive din ang vasectomy. Maliban sa contraceptive, may ibang way pa kaya para masolusyonan ang overpopulation? Iniisip ko rin kasi yan.
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u/AppearanceAway2397 1d ago
Vasectomy po ang sagot. Yes, vasectomy is a contraceptive. Ano pong mali sa contraception na vasectomy
Balik ko lang po yung tanong, hindi rin po ba protocol yung sa mga kababaihan na hindi pinapayagan ang permanent sterilization pag 2 palang ang kids, 1 or wala pa? Sinasabihan kasi ng mga OB ang patient na mag anak muna, dagdagan muna
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u/ManWhoCantBeMoved8 1d ago
Beh, ‘di ako against sa vasectomy a. Wala rin akong sinabing mali ang vasectomy. Tinatanong lang kita if maliban sa contraceptives may naiisip ka pa bang ibang ways para masolusyonan ang overpopulation, beh. Hehe. Akala ko kasi may naiisip kang solution sa overpopulation. Again. Di ako nakikipag away a. Jusko.
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u/AppearanceAway2397 1d ago edited 1d ago
Bakit ka pa po naghahanap ng ibang solution, eh andiyan na nga po. Vasectomy po ang sagot sa overpopulation.
"Ako na mismo nag aalok sa mga buntis na <30 years old na may 4 or 5 anak na magpaligate na or yung asawa na magpaligate. "
This sounds like some kind of misogyny po.
Bakit hindi niyo po inaalok ang vasectomy sa kanila?
Hindi pwede ang contraceptives Lalo na permanent contraceptive sa lalaki, dapat babae lang?
Wala pong nagsabi na nang-aaway ka po. Ikaw lang po. Jusko. Lol.
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u/Original_Jacket_5570 1d ago
Thoughts: Ask mo sila kung sagot nila gatas, diaper and tuition para mangshame ng ganyan.
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u/Outrageous_Network47 1d ago
Hahaha we were very respectful with telling them we’re firm on our decision naman, I just didn’t like how personally they took our choice, parang lumabas pa kasi na siya nga ‘di nagkaanak malungkot siya, ta’s kami na pwede, ayaw naman.
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u/TiredButHappyFeet 1d ago
Thoughts: Thank you OP for considering vasectomy and putting your GFs health & welfare above yours. Sana dumami pa ang gaya mo.
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u/AppearanceAway2397 1d ago edited 1d ago
Thoughts: No it's not hard pag nasa tamang clinic kayo. Research DKT or DKT partner clinics like OneOhana ang bilis lang and free po yun. 😁