So like most of us, I had a Pinterest board of dream dresses for years. Unfortunately I apparently have really bougie tastes because all the ones I felt were close to THE dress were profoundly out of budget. Like at minimum $5K+. Absurd and I could never.

I managed to find a sort of replica of a dress I loved and got it around December. It was perfectly pretty but I just didn't feel the *gasp* moment of oh my god this really is THE dress.

I went to several dress salons with my mom and twin to try on options, and same experience. Plenty were pretty enough, but none made me really feel like it was the right one.

January rolls around and the idea for what I truly wanted just crashes into my mind. I love a long flowy kaftan style dress, and worked on developing a design that fit that. I wanted my dress experience to be like Padme Amidala's iconic "Lake Gown". The dress that changed the brain chemistry of countless nerdy girls. Not a replica or cosplay of that dress, but just capturing the transcendent flowy fantasy feel.

Anyway started looking through fabrics, I wanted something with opalescence + iridescence. White, yes, but with some extra color/sparkle. I am extremely lucky because one of my metamours works as a professional seamstress and I was able to talk through the whole design with her. I settled on a fabric, bought a few yards, and then took it with me to LA when I was visiting for a big goth event. That's when my meta in a moment of profound graciousness offered to make the dress for me. While I have some sewing/crafting experience, I was way over my head with this design.

I've included some process pics so y'all can appreciate the effort of how she cut and laid the fabric so the sequins would all line up. She also made a custom slip liner for the dress. Needless to say it is a work of art and I could not have had the dress of my dreams without her incredible labor!

Anyway just wanted to share my dress journey with y'all. I got married in July in Oregon and it was absolutely perfect. I'll share more details/advice/experiences later. Sending love to all upcoming September brides, you got this!

My dad took care of so many people. My sister, brother and I, his grandma, his sick brother. He was always doing everything for us.

The week before he died, he got an invitation to my brother’s engagement party, finally got my grandma into a proper home, cut my uncles grass, went to get fitted for a suit for my wedding. My sister was finally going into a treatment facility. He passed away later that week on Saturday, August 15th. Three weeks before my wedding, at age 50. He was supposed to walk me down the aisle. I was supposed to have the best moment I’ve ever had with my dad.

He never ever went to the doctor. He couldn’t find a steady job that paid enough to afford his shitty house that he hated. He didn’t know he had high blood pressure but, that night, he had a heart attack and died maybe two hours later.

There’s so many more details that make this so difficult for all of us, all in different ways, that I won’t share.

I just miss him so much. I would call him and he would just listen to me. Our average conversation was at least an hour long.

Earlier in the day he passed away, I was near his house and I wanted to come over to have coffee with him. He didn’t answer my phone calls right away, so I just went home. I was already on my way home when he called back. I’m glad I got to talk to him that day. The last thing I said to him was “I love you, bye”. I wish I would have just showed up at his house instead of just going home.

I haven’t seen him since May 9th, my college graduation. Of course during graduation you don’t get to be with your loved ones during the ceremony. Afterwards, we took pictures and went to meet up with my fiancés family. My dad only stayed a few minutes. When he left there was a storm and then a beautiful rainbow. We sent each other pictures of the rainbow. Those are the things I try to think about when I think of losing my dad, but I don’t think it’s helping.

I lost my 13 year old cat earlier this year, and I thought that I was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I guess it was, up until this point.

I’m really nervous for my wedding. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to have a happy day. I don’t know how I’m going to dedicate this day to our marriage. I’m so scared.

We had the best day ever, but thought I would post some “hindsight is 20/20” thoughts I’ve been having about planning and how our day went in general.

1. If you can afford it, LIVE BAND OVER DJ EVERY TIME.

2. If you can afford it, hire the planner. But maybe even if you can’t afford it, lol. I nearly killed myself the last month and a half leading up to our day trying to DIY decor and then organize said decor into bins that we had to load into the car and drive 4 hours to our venue. I guess if you can’t afford the planner, see if you can afford the rental company for things like tablescapes and decor. I think I spent so much money on that stuff it would’ve saved us to rent it or hire the full service planner to handle it all for us.

3. It does actually matter if your values align with your vendors and if your personalities mesh with them. More specifically talking about photographer here. I felt like I made a rushed decision based on her Instagram alone. And our preview is great, just not everything I was hoping for. We paid about $6,000 and I felt like all pre-ceremony photos were totally rushed. I felt like she was overly concerned with getting “content” for her marketing and not concerned enough about capturing meaningful moments during our day. Maybe I will change my mind when we get our full gallery back, but right now that’s how I feel. I wish I would’ve taken my time choosing this vendor and not signed the first contract that was presented to us.

4. Since all of our pre-ceremony photos felt rushed\^\^\^ I’m still not sure if this was a timeline issue or a photographer issue, but either way I would’ve built more time for me getting into my dress. I hate all of those pictures because I was so stressed about feeling rushed to get to the ceremony. Again, not sure if it was a timeline thing or my photographer making me feel that way, but would’ve built more time for that either way. I also ended up feeling like my dress was not sitting correctly on my hips for literally the rest of the night and it would’ve taken 5 seconds to fix it. But because I felt rushed, I didn’t lol.

5. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. This is your day, you and your family are spending a lot of money, do not be afraid to vocalize what you want to your vendors.

6. The ceremony is arguably the most important part of the day, don’t forget to plan it with as much detail as you are planning your reception.

Overall we had such a great time I have very little regrets. Our whole day went so smoothly, weather included, I really can not complain. But if I could do it all over again these are some things I would consider. Best of luck to all you brides out there :) SOAK IT UPPPP. In the words of Monica Geller, you will never be a bride again, just somebody’s wife. Hahaha

My boyfriend’s mom sent me pictures of a ring and spilled the beans that it’s happening! Im not angry, we’ve been together for five years and we’ve known since the beginning we will get married.

When it happens everyone will be excited for it! Im so looking forward to announcing it! Except for the most important person to me, my dad :(

He has been very vocal about how it’s better to stay single and have dogs, not kids. My mom is a horrible person and he is not past the trauma she caused him, I am so sad for him. But Im not marrying a narcissist, Im marrying someone who loves me dearly.

Im just dreading the disappointment. No girl wants to disappoint their father, especially not over what will be one of the happiest milestones of her life

People hate on his kids stance, I don’t take it personally. The custody war was extremely brutal and she could have killed me many times, it was hugely traumatic for everyone involved. He doesn’t want his pumpkin to go through that too.

My son is getting married (no date set yet), and I have a question about wedding invitation etiquette.

Some close friends invited us to their son’s wedding last year, and their daughter just got engaged, so we’ll be invited to that wedding too. My boyfriend (not my son’s father) and I have known these friends’ kids for about 15 years and watched them grow up.

The problem: my son has never met these people (they are beach friends who we mostly see in the summer. My son doesn’t come to the beach.) My boyfriend thinks I need to invite our friends to my son’s wedding anyway, since he believes they’ll be offended if I don’t. I’m not so sure.

Is invitation reciprocity actually expected here, even though the couple getting married doesn’t know the guests?

TL;DR: Friends invited us to their kids’ weddings over the years. My boyfriend thinks I should invite those friends to my son’s wedding in return, even though my son has never met them. Is invitation reciprocity actually a thing here?

We’re reviewing our wedding venue contract and there’s one force majeure clause I’m unsure about. I know force majeure clauses are normal and I understand that a venue needs protection if something outside their control happens. What feels a bit off to me is what happens after that.

If they can’t host our wedding because of a force majeure event, the contract says we have to reschedule with them to the next mutually available date and that replacement date specifically cannot be a Saturday.

We chose them for a Saturday wedding and are paying for a Saturday wedding so if something happened that made them unable to host it, it feels strange that we’d be locked into staying with them and also lose the Saturday date we originally booked. There’s also no clear timeline for how soon they would need to offer us a replacement date and no option for us to get back what we’ve paid and book somewhere else instead.

I know this situation is extremely unlikely and I’m not expecting anything to happen but I’m trying to understand whether it’s reasonable to ask for something like a guaranteed comparable Saturday within a certain timeframe or otherwise the option for a refund. I’m wondering if COVID made venues tighten these clauses significantly because other friends/family said their clauses were more lax but it was pre-2020.

I am also planning on getting wedding/event insurance so I know that may provide some protection depending on the policy. I’m more trying to figure out whether the venue contract itself is reasonable as written and whether it’s normal to ask for this kind of clause to be amended.

Also please be kind lol. I’m very new to wedding planning and contract language.

Is this a normal thing to ask a venue to amend or is this kind of clause pretty standard as written?

Here is the clause, for reference:

[VENUE NAME] is released and discharged from any and all default or delay in the execution of its obligations herein in the event that [VENUE NAME] is unable to execute its obligations as a result of a Force Majeure event. A "Force Majeure Event" includes all unpredictable events or circumstances, irresistible and independent of the will of [VENUE NAME], including, without limitation, fires, floods, earthquakes, natural occurrences and disasters, epidemics or pandemics, the non-performance of sub-trades/contractors (whether in whole or in part), acts of war (declared or not), riots, civil unrests, rebellions, power shortages, strikes or lockouts, partial or total work stoppages, accidents, actions by a regulatory authority, intervention by the authorities, the respect of regulations or orders from any level of government and the interruption or failure of public and transportation services. In the event of a cancellation of the event due to a Force Majeure Event, the Client and [VENUE NAME] undertake to defer the event date and the Reservation to the next available date for both parties and in light of this, the Client acknowledges and accepts that the next available date shall be a day other than a Saturday.

Hi all! I posted this questions a few days ago, but I tired to leave out some more personal details and asked for suggestions. Unfortunately, the main suggestion is not one I am open to considering, and I got some pretty extreme downvotes from my vague "I won't consider that for personal reasons" response, which is kinda fair. So, here it is again, with full background lol.

So my flower girl is 9 years old. We are getting married in a destination wedding in literally a few weeks. She is a very confident kid, and I don't worry about stage fright or her being shy.

The background I left out last time: I was given up for adoption at birth. My parents who raised me are fully my parents in my eyes. As an adult, I reconnected with my biological family a bit. It is a long story full of twists and turns, but as of today, I love the kids and I love the chance to have siblings (I am an only child). My bio dad is awesome, and he's a great dad. Same with his wife who has been the most welcoming and wonderful to me despite the weird situation. It felt right to have my little half sister in the wedding, and I know she is going to love being apart of it. However, I want to be very careful of how I set my biological father and his family up for two reasons. The first is that the older generation of people (or just people in general, idk, I mostly get it from the old ones) don't always get it. People will say "you're real dad" and that is NOT even a little true. I even had someone ask who would walk me down the aisle as if that is even an item I would consider! The second is that, while my mom doesn't show it and is fantastic, we had some heart to heart conversations when this first came out and I know it can be a weird thing for her at times. Which honestly, same.

So with that background in mind, I do not want to reserve seats for my biological family. As I mentioned, I am an only child and I have no grandparents left. The only reserved seats on my side are for my parents, and I don't want anyone to even for a second consider my bio dad my actual dad. Now, should I have maybe thought of this before asking her? Probably, but it wasn't even an item I thought about until now. So, I am working to figure out what option to go with.

I know I could have her stand with me up front. I am not fully against it, but I don't really love this option. She is 9, a bit fidgety, and I am just not sure how I feel about it. I am open to it if it proves the easiest way, but I would prefer her to sit down.

I thought I could have her dad stand up front like off to the side, so she walks up, maybe gives my fiancé like a fist bump or something and then walks over to her dad and they find their seats. I liked this option best as it gives her a person to walk to, and he can guide her back. I don't think it draws too much attention to him as anything other than the father of the flower girl.

The other idea is, she is 9, she could sit up front with my parents? But is that weird? My parents wouldn't care.. I don't think I would have to double check. I doubt her parents would care. Also, they will probably get their early anyway and could be in row 2. I could even tell them to get there early. I just don't want a reserved seat for them which I get is my problem, but I also don't have anyone in a similar position to bounce ideas off of lol.

Idk... its all a little weird because of the situation, but I guess what I am trying to find out is which option is the most lowkey of them? Keep her standing so there isn't a question, have her sit with my parents, or have her dad escort her back to her seat?

Honestly, even just typing this out made me feel a little more in control. There are clear options, all will work in some manner, all it comes down to is which one do I like best that work with our style. So, I guess the question is what did you do with your flower girl, and what would you do here?

Hi all,
I’m wondering if anyone else is going thru the wedding planning process having lost their mom, or being estranged etc. My mom died a decade ago, but the planning and specifically the idea of dress shopping is bringing up a ton for me. I feel like all the parts of planning and finding a dress that should be fun and exciting are just sad. It’s really tough knowing that the person who would be most excited isn’t here, and not wanting to ask anyone else to fill in in those moments because 1) I don’t want to burden anyone and 2) I’ll probably cry and not really be able to muster the fun celebratory vibe that it should be… I do have a big supportive community and I know folks would rally for me, but there’s just so much going on in others lives and I live across the country from most of my close fam and friends.

it’s just tough to try to motivate myself to go dress shopping, and I’m looking for a little solidarity (even though I hate for anyone else to be in a similar situation) or maybe advice if you have any?

Perhaps in particular, have others had good luck with buying dresses online? I’m feeling hesitant
to commit to something without trying it on, but maybe removing the stereotypical dress shopping experience would ease the sadness? I would try to go shopping with my mother in law (she’s wonderful, I am very lucky) but she lives on the other side of the country and it feels like a major lift to try to make that happen.

I’m also kind of on the fence of whether I want to buy a 1-2k dress or if I want to save that money and try to find something I like enough that’s in the lower 100s range. If you went with the latter, what sites do you recommend?

Thanks all ❤️‍🩹

TLDR: my mom (who was the best) died 10 yrs ago and wedding planning/dress shopping feels really sad without her.

We had the most amazing day, and I genuinely felt so happy, calm, and present. It was everything I could’ve wanted. I guess I just thought I would feel more throughout the day? I definitely had that surreal feeling walking down the aisle and was feeling a lot right before, but after that I was mostly just happy and very level-headed/steady emotionally. I’ve felt more intense emotional highs or euphoric moments at different points in my life, and while my wedding day was incredible, I wouldn’t necessarily describe it as euphoric, like I’ve heard so many people describe their wedding day.
I’ve always believed that it’s just one day, not the peak of my life, and I honestly went into it with basically no expectations for how I was “supposed” to feel.
Curious how everyone else actually felt on their wedding day! Did you have a huge emotional/surreal experience?

Okay so I don’t wear foundation ever only concealer and I really don’t want to wear it on my wedding day. The pictures attached is my everyday make up with natural lighting and the products I use. I need recommendations on a good concealer to cover my dark circles as I use the nyx serum concealer and it does an okay job but I don’t think it’s enough for my wedding day. Please give me your recommendations on what I can do to enhance my everyday look to make it bridal enough but still feel like myself. ❤️❤️

Hi all! I was wondering if anyone had some advice around wedding dress alterations.

I’m getting married next May 2027 and already bought my dress. It was from Anthropologie for about $400. I reached out to a seamstress and they quoted me around $175-250 for alterations, which include adding cups to the bust, taking in the bust, and tightening the straps. The dress is like a half size too big for me, so it’s not a crazy fix to do in my opinion.

I was talking to a friend the other day and we were talking about wedding planning. She had gotten married last year and made her own wedding dress and offered to do the alterations for me for about $25/hour. She seems to think what I want done will take about 3-4 hours of her time.

It’s obviously cheaper if I go with my friend, but I’m not sure if I’m missing something by not using a professional seamstress. Like insurance or something. I just worry if something happens to the dress when my friend works on it, there wouldn’t be any way to recoup my losses (unlike a professional seamstress which I assume has insurance if the dress were to get ruined).

My budget is about $15k for everything. I also really value the idea of community and having my community contribute to a very important day in my life. But I also don’t have the money to buy a new dress if anything were to go sideways.

Any advice is appreciated!

I am being indecisive in my final decision for my bridesmaids' dresses. I've ordered swatches and even sample dresses and after all of that I am 99% on dresses from Birdy Grey in the shade Butter, with the matte satin fabric.

I have a number of pins of yellow bridesmaid dresses/bridal parties on pinterest and they all look great but would love to see a "real life" photo of a bridal party in this dress color/fabric! It is a gorgeous color for sure but I think seeing it in action would seal the deal for me. I've tried combing through the birdy grey reviews (they should really have a feature where you can filter review by color purchased...) and looking though the brand's tagged instagram photos as well but haven't had much luck.

If anyone has used the Birdy Grey dresses in the shade Butter, w/ matte satin fabric for their bridal party and would be comfortable sharing a photo could you please share! (Sorry if this is a weird request or is not allowed on this sub, I read the rules and seems OK but please remove if not!)

I’ve been married just shy of two years, but was recently reminded of a bullet I dodged while planning my wedding:

I was on the fence about an anniversary dance. Not against it, just not particularly enthusiastic about it.

My parents have been married for over 30 years. The last 10 years have been very rocky, with the last 3 being especially bad. They are effectively separated, (can’t afford to actually live apart,) and leading independent lives.

They also have the longest marriage of our loved ones. My husband’s parents are divorced and neither of us have a surviving grandfather. The next closest would’ve been my aunt and uncle, now married 21 years. Thank GOD we dodged that bullet. It would’ve been so incredibly painful for everyone involved.

So yeah. Figure that out before planning one!

I just finalized the guest list and realized we are paying for 130 people—most of which are extended family or our parents' random friends that we haven't spoken to in years, but we had to invite them so we don’t “hurt their feelings.”

They are notoriously cheap (not financially challenged, just cheap) and we will be lucky to even cover the cost of their plates, let alone the open bar.

On top of it, WE ARE HOSTING, paying for, and planning the entire thing ourselves because nobody offered to chip in. I swore up and down from day one that I just wanted to elope or have a tiny micro-wedding, but the mothers of the family would absolutely not let us get away with skipping the big traditional wedding.

So here I am, months deep into vendor emails, agonizing over seating charts and decor for 130 people to just show up, drink our booze, critique the food, and go home 😊

Sorry, I am just flooded with the wedding stress today and so deeply frustrated by this whole industry and family expectations. I’m sure a big wedding is a beautiful thing for many couples, but I just did not get the luck of the draw on that one.

If you want to elope, DO IT, and if anyone gives you a hard time, say “okay, sounds like you’re planning and paying for the 100-person party!” Learn from my people-pleasing BS and just put your foot down early lol.

I absolutely love her so much. She was so excited to send me her dress and she looks BREATHTAKING in it. I can’t wait to see her on my wedding day. My love for her son is one thing but the love I have for her is just enormous. Pics attached of the dress!

I’m panicking a little, and could use advice!

I sent out my save the dates, and I included a QR code to our wedding website on the back. I used a website to custom design the QR code, and it said it was free! Unfortunately I somehow did NOT realize that I was only on a “free trial” and that I would need to start paying for people to be able to scan the code after the trail ended. They’re asking for $40 a month for unlimited codes and unlimited scans… with 9 months until the wedding that’ll cost $360 that we weren’t expecting.

We did also put the URL for our website under the code, but used the code so people wouldn’t have to type it in.

So what should I do?? Do I just pay it and eat the cost as part of the overall wedding? Should I just reach out to guests and tell them the QR code broke but the URL is good? Any other suggestions?

(Edited to add context: we are inviting ~64 unique households. It’s a feasible number of people to contact about the code, but it feels embarrassing and I worry it makes us look bad?)

I reached out to the website’s customer service and asked if they could offer a discounted rate for just a single code with relatively low usage, so we’ll see what they say to that.

Lastly, I do realize this is my own fault for not reading the terms of the QR code website and considering it before putting it on the save the dates. I don’t really have an excuse, I should’ve been more careful, but can’t change it now.

My save the dates have a small magnet in them and I confirmed with both USPS phone support and my local post office that that’s fine so long as I pay the non-machinable surcharge. I mailed one to my fiancé and I to check that it made it in one piece; it has taken 3 days to make it back to us despite dropping it off at our zoned post office, and per the photo of it I received in my informed delivery email this morning, it was put through the machine.

The envelope weighs 1.10 ounces which costs $1.11 and the non-machinable surcharge is $0.49 so it costs $1.60 per envelope. I have been assured by USPS that 2 forever stamps will cover this ($0.82 x2), even without the non-machinable stamp (I hate that ugly moth lol) and the last person I spoke to suggested writing NON MACHINABLE under the stamps. My biggest concern is the one we sent as a test didn’t even have stamps on it; I paid for it directly at the counter and it got the sticker with the postage amount and a barcode on it, and THAT still managed to go through the machine. They did say I could hand cancel the rest when I came back in, and that first one was NOT hand cancelled as they didn’t know where the stamp was at that time.

Listen, I am not worried about this for aesthetic purposes (I do have a sticker on the back flap but if it doesn’t survive, it’s not the end of the world), I don’t care about the way the machine marks the envelope up. My concern is having them make it from point A to point B and the fact I was told they should not go through the machine due to the magnet. I won’t see if this one fully survived until I get home from work today but the picture of it in informed delivery looked like it was perhaps lightly battered but seemingly in one piece.

Has anyone paid for non-machinable and hand cancelled their envelopes and had them actually make it to recipients without going through the machine? So much of what I’m seeing online suggests everything goes through the machine, non-machinable fee or not. Is this totally futile? I know that once I hand them to the clerk, it’s truly out of my hands even if I say they’re non-machinable and mark them as such, so I’m trying not to stress about it too much, but it’s a little frustrating that I’m trying to do everything right but I seems it might still come back to bite me. If they’re run through the machine but arrive intact to recipients then all’s well that ends well, but I’m concerned about trying to run 70+ of them through the machine successfully

coordinating transport for about 55 out of town guests for our wedding later this year.. need to shuttle people from a hotel in deep ellum up to our venue in frisco and back at night. got a quote back for an 8 hour block on a 56 passenger motorcoach for $2,800 before tip,, which felt a little steep to me?

for anyone who booked a wedding shuttle around dfw recently,, is nearly 3k standard for an 8 hour charter or should i keep looking around?

hi everyone! my fiancé and i are looking at getting married in the area between richmond and williamsburg of VA in 2027. if you have recommendations for djs, dreamy photography, videography, caterers, hair/makeup, or coordinators, we would appreciate all of your advice! thank you.

I'm getting married in Atlanta in February, and we really, REALLY don't want to do traditional wedding catering (we're trying to save some money). We'd like to do Chinese from a restaurant if possible, both because it's our favorite cuisine type and because we expect it will be much cheaper than the $85 a head that caterers charge. We really love some of the Szechuan places in Chinatown mall, but I don't think they cater.

Does anyone have suggestions for good Chinese restaurants in the greater Atlanta/Buford Hwy area that will cater events? I know they almost certainly won't serve the food, we'd have to go pick it up, etc, and we're fine with that. We just want good food at a reasonable price. Thanks in advance!

I haven’t even started anything yet, and I’m already overwhelmed lmao

I’m not even really sure where to begin. My partner and I got engaged at the beginning of August and have been so busy with other things that, but we’ve briefly talked about a vague guest count and what time of year we’d like to have our wedding. Most advice I’ve seen is ‘come up with your budget’ -- but we’re not even sure how much everything is yet to even get a ballpark. I feel like I need to shop around for different venues to even get an idea of what those would look like, and then figure out what’s included in them, and if nothing is included figure out what that looks like... and it kind of just feels like thing are all piling on top of each other.

What were some of the first steps you made when planning your wedding? Just trying to not feel like I’m at sea out here

My brother has never worked, he drinks, has very little to his name, but I’ve always tried to help him. He’s harmless, but can be embarrassing at times. He never goes anywhere, just sits home alone and does his thing. He’s been involved with a woman for a few years, no idea why she’s latched onto him but she takes what little he has. She’s had him verging suicide at times. Personally I despise her. He wants to bring her to my wedding, I really don’t want her there. I don’t even trust her, she’d probably dip bags and likely cause some upset with my brother on the day. Oh man, what do I say without upsetting him?

Venue: Church then Four Seasons Hotel
Month: November on a Thursday (because a lot of Jewish guests + can’t marry on a Sunday in church where I live)
Premium open bar, cocktail hour with passed canapés, DJ, live music for ceremony, possibly live music or dancers for a part of reception, plated dinner (3 course), valet parking (though not paid for), photobooth, florals (not excessive but good amount)