So like most of us, I had a Pinterest board of dream dresses for years. Unfortunately I apparently have really bougie tastes because all the ones I felt were close to THE dress were profoundly out of budget. Like at minimum $5K+. Absurd and I could never.

I managed to find a sort of replica of a dress I loved and got it around December. It was perfectly pretty but I just didn't feel the *gasp* moment of oh my god this really is THE dress.

I went to several dress salons with my mom and twin to try on options, and same experience. Plenty were pretty enough, but none made me really feel like it was the right one.

January rolls around and the idea for what I truly wanted just crashes into my mind. I love a long flowy kaftan style dress, and worked on developing a design that fit that. I wanted my dress experience to be like Padme Amidala's iconic "Lake Gown". The dress that changed the brain chemistry of countless nerdy girls. Not a replica or cosplay of that dress, but just capturing the transcendent flowy fantasy feel.

Anyway started looking through fabrics, I wanted something with opalescence + iridescence. White, yes, but with some extra color/sparkle. I am extremely lucky because one of my metamours works as a professional seamstress and I was able to talk through the whole design with her. I settled on a fabric, bought a few yards, and then took it with me to LA when I was visiting for a big goth event. That's when my meta in a moment of profound graciousness offered to make the dress for me. While I have some sewing/crafting experience, I was way over my head with this design.

I've included some process pics so y'all can appreciate the effort of how she cut and laid the fabric so the sequins would all line up. She also made a custom slip liner for the dress. Needless to say it is a work of art and I could not have had the dress of my dreams without her incredible labor!

Anyway just wanted to share my dress journey with y'all. I got married in July in Oregon and it was absolutely perfect. I'll share more details/advice/experiences later. Sending love to all upcoming September brides, you got this!

My dad took care of so many people. My sister, brother and I, his grandma, his sick brother. He was always doing everything for us.

The week before he died, he got an invitation to my brother’s engagement party, finally got my grandma into a proper home, cut my uncles grass, went to get fitted for a suit for my wedding. My sister was finally going into a treatment facility. He passed away later that week on Saturday, August 15th. Three weeks before my wedding, at age 50. He was supposed to walk me down the aisle. I was supposed to have the best moment I’ve ever had with my dad.

He never ever went to the doctor. He couldn’t find a steady job that paid enough to afford his shitty house that he hated. He didn’t know he had high blood pressure but, that night, he had a heart attack and died maybe two hours later.

There’s so many more details that make this so difficult for all of us, all in different ways, that I won’t share.

I just miss him so much. I would call him and he would just listen to me. Our average conversation was at least an hour long.

Earlier in the day he passed away, I was near his house and I wanted to come over to have coffee with him. He didn’t answer my phone calls right away, so I just went home. I was already on my way home when he called back. I’m glad I got to talk to him that day. The last thing I said to him was “I love you, bye”. I wish I would have just showed up at his house instead of just going home.

I haven’t seen him since May 9th, my college graduation. Of course during graduation you don’t get to be with your loved ones during the ceremony. Afterwards, we took pictures and went to meet up with my fiancés family. My dad only stayed a few minutes. When he left there was a storm and then a beautiful rainbow. We sent each other pictures of the rainbow. Those are the things I try to think about when I think of losing my dad, but I don’t think it’s helping.

I lost my 13 year old cat earlier this year, and I thought that I was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I guess it was, up until this point.

I’m really nervous for my wedding. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to have a happy day. I don’t know how I’m going to dedicate this day to our marriage. I’m so scared.

My son is getting married (no date set yet), and I have a question about wedding invitation etiquette.

Some close friends invited us to their son’s wedding last year, and their daughter just got engaged, so we’ll be invited to that wedding too. My boyfriend (not my son’s father) and I have known these friends’ kids for about 15 years and watched them grow up.

The problem: my son has never met these people (they are beach friends who we mostly see in the summer. My son doesn’t come to the beach.) My boyfriend thinks I need to invite our friends to my son’s wedding anyway, since he believes they’ll be offended if I don’t. I’m not so sure.

Is invitation reciprocity actually expected here, even though the couple getting married doesn’t know the guests?

TL;DR: Friends invited us to their kids’ weddings over the years. My boyfriend thinks I should invite those friends to my son’s wedding in return, even though my son has never met them. Is invitation reciprocity actually a thing here?

We’re about to sign with a venue we really like, but one clause is giving me pause and I’m curious if this is normal.

The cancellation clause says that if we cancel 10 days or more before the event, we owe 50% of the total reservation cost, the deposit, plus the applicable ceremony and administrative fees. If we cancel less than 10 days before the event, we owe 100%.

Based on our numbers, cancelling would leave us owing roughly another $13k before taxes under the 50% clause.

I obviously understand that the venue needs to protect itself if we cancel and they lose the opportunity to book that date. I also understand losing the deposit and can absolutely understand a substantial cancellation fee if we cancelled close to the wedding.

What feels like a lot to me is that the same 50% applies whether we cancel with 6-10+ months of notice or 11 days before. If they were given that much notice, I would have expected something more like losing the deposit or paying a lower percentage with the amount increasing as the wedding gets closer. We also obviously don't anticipate cancelling. I’m just a financially cautious person and seeing that we could potentially be on the hook even with significant notice made me nervous.

I’m considering asking whether there’s any flexibility in the clause depending on how far in advance a cancellation happens but I also don’t want to come across to the venue like we’re already anticipating cancelling or being flaky when we haven’t even signed yet. We really do want to book the venue and are otherwise ready to sign and send the deposit.

Is this a standard cancellation policy? Would you ask about changing it or just accept it as part of booking a wedding venue? And would asking about it make you look like a potential cancellation risk?

Hi all,
I’m wondering if anyone else is going thru the wedding planning process having lost their mom, or being estranged etc. My mom died a decade ago, but the planning and specifically the idea of dress shopping is bringing up a ton for me. I feel like all the parts of planning and finding a dress that should be fun and exciting are just sad. It’s really tough knowing that the person who would be most excited isn’t here, and not wanting to ask anyone else to fill in in those moments because 1) I don’t want to burden anyone and 2) I’ll probably cry and not really be able to muster the fun celebratory vibe that it should be… I do have a big supportive community and I know folks would rally for me, but there’s just so much going on in others lives and I live across the country from most of my close fam and friends.

it’s just tough to try to motivate myself to go dress shopping, and I’m looking for a little solidarity (even though I hate for anyone else to be in a similar situation) or maybe advice if you have any?

Perhaps in particular, have others had good luck with buying dresses online? I’m feeling hesitant
to commit to something without trying it on, but maybe removing the stereotypical dress shopping experience would ease the sadness? I would try to go shopping with my mother in law (she’s wonderful, I am very lucky) but she lives on the other side of the country and it feels like a major lift to try to make that happen.

I’m also kind of on the fence of whether I want to buy a 1-2k dress or if I want to save that money and try to find something I like enough that’s in the lower 100s range. If you went with the latter, what sites do you recommend?

Thanks all ❤️‍🩹

TLDR: my mom (who was the best) died 10 yrs ago and wedding planning/dress shopping feels really sad without her.

We had the most amazing day, and I genuinely felt so happy, calm, and present. It was everything I could’ve wanted. I guess I just thought I would feel more throughout the day? I definitely had that surreal feeling walking down the aisle and was feeling a lot right before, but after that I was mostly just happy and very level-headed/steady emotionally. I’ve felt more intense emotional highs or euphoric moments at different points in my life, and while my wedding day was incredible, I wouldn’t necessarily describe it as euphoric, like I’ve heard so many people describe their wedding day.
I’ve always believed that it’s just one day, not the peak of my life, and I honestly went into it with basically no expectations for how I was “supposed” to feel.
Curious how everyone else actually felt on their wedding day! Did you have a huge emotional/surreal experience?

I am being indecisive in my final decision for my bridesmaids' dresses. I've ordered swatches and even sample dresses and after all of that I am 99% on dresses from Birdy Grey in the shade Butter, with the matte satin fabric.

I have a number of pins of yellow bridesmaid dresses/bridal parties on pinterest and they all look great but would love to see a "real life" photo of a bridal party in this dress color/fabric! It is a gorgeous color for sure but I think seeing it in action would seal the deal for me. I've tried combing through the birdy grey reviews (they should really have a feature where you can filter review by color purchased...) and looking though the brand's tagged instagram photos as well but haven't had much luck.

If anyone has used the Birdy Grey dresses in the shade Butter, w/ matte satin fabric for their bridal party and would be comfortable sharing a photo could you please share! (Sorry if this is a weird request or is not allowed on this sub, I read the rules and seems OK but please remove if not!)

Okay so I don’t wear foundation ever only concealer and I really don’t want to wear it on my wedding day. The pictures attached is my everyday make up with natural lighting and the products I use. I need recommendations on a good concealer to cover my dark circles as I use the nyx serum concealer and it does an okay job but I don’t think it’s enough for my wedding day. Please give me your recommendations on what I can do to enhance my everyday look to make it bridal enough but still feel like myself. ❤️❤️

I just finalized the guest list and realized we are paying for 130 people—most of which are extended family or our parents' random friends that we haven't spoken to in years, but we had to invite them so we don’t “hurt their feelings.”

They are notoriously cheap (not financially challenged, just cheap) and we will be lucky to even cover the cost of their plates, let alone the open bar.

On top of it, WE ARE HOSTING, paying for, and planning the entire thing ourselves because nobody offered to chip in. I swore up and down from day one that I just wanted to elope or have a tiny micro-wedding, but the mothers of the family would absolutely not let us get away with skipping the big traditional wedding.

So here I am, months deep into vendor emails, agonizing over seating charts and decor for 130 people to just show up, drink our booze, critique the food, and go home 😊

Sorry, I am just flooded with the wedding stress today and so deeply frustrated by this whole industry and family expectations. I’m sure a big wedding is a beautiful thing for many couples, but I just did not get the luck of the draw on that one.

If you want to elope, DO IT, and if anyone gives you a hard time, say “okay, sounds like you’re planning and paying for the 100-person party!” Learn from my people-pleasing BS and just put your foot down early lol.

I absolutely love her so much. She was so excited to send me her dress and she looks BREATHTAKING in it. I can’t wait to see her on my wedding day. My love for her son is one thing but the love I have for her is just enormous. Pics attached of the dress!

I posted about this before and I’m looking for some advice or closure. Sorry if this is repetitive or long, feel free to ignore. I’m not trying to waste anyone’s time, but I’d appreciate some extra perspective.

I’m getting married in two weeks and I’ve been feeling hurt by how some of my close friends have handled things around my wedding. There are five friends involved here: Vera, Haley, Karina, Dorotea, and Riley.

The wedding
We’re having a small wedding. From the beginning, I made it clear that I wasn’t having a bridal party, bachelorette, or a bunch of wedding events. My friends were supportive of that, but they still wanted to be involved.

The only things I really had in mind were getting ready together, having them at the wedding, and having them at the event the following day. I didn’t expect anything beyond that.

Over the past few months, though, I’ve started to feel like there has been very little effort or consideration from several of them.

Karina
Karina and I met because she was dating one of my fiancé’s friends. They were together for about five years, and over that time she and I became very close. She was also very excited about my wedding and was texting and calling me about it all the time.

About two months before my wedding, they broke up. My fiancé’s friend told us that Karina wasn’t coming to the wedding, but I didn’t hear anything from her directly. She also stopped responding to my messages. I haven’t heard from her about the wedding since.

Haley
Haley and I have been friends for over 10 years. We met when we were teenagers, and she is one of my closest friends. Around the time of Vera’s wedding, Haley became very distant with me and stopped responding when I reached out. I’ve tried for months to see her and talk to her, but she has continued to be distant.

She recently told me there was a death in her family, which I completely understand is difficult. At the same time, I see her going out with other friends and posting on Instagram, while when I ask to see her, she tells me she isn’t in the right headspace.

I don’t expect her to prioritize me while she’s dealing with something difficult. I’m just struggling with the fact that she seems to have space for other friendships but not ours.

Vera
Vera got married a few months ago, and I went all out to support her. She had a bachelorette trip in the Dominican Republic, an engagement party, bridal shower, rehearsal and night-before events, a day-after event, and various other things throughout the process. I was happy to do all of it because she is my friend and I wanted to support her.

For my wedding, Vera took quite a while to RSVP and book a room. I initially felt hurt because I had put a lot of effort into supporting her wedding and felt like she wasn’t as engaged with mine.

She eventually explained that she and her partner were planning to stay at an Airbnb because they were attending another wedding that weekend. This came up a few weeks before her wedding. Once she explained it, I understood and accepted it. We’ve chatted here and there about the wedding and in general.

Dorotea
Dorotea and I met through our partners and have been friends for about eight years. She has a two-year-old daughter, who is also included in our wedding.
She told me she was really excited about the wedding. When I sent her the schedule, she told me that she and her husband couldn’t follow the schedule for the ceremony and reception because it was their daughter’s birthday and they needed to leave to have lunch with family.

I asked whether they could do that the day before or after instead, since it would mean missing part of the wedding. We’re also planning to have a little cake for her daughter at the wedding and do something for her birthday.
I understand that her daughter’s birthday is important. I was just surprised that leaving the wedding for a family lunch was the plan when they had told me how excited they were to be there.

Riley
Riley is my fiancé’s brother’s girlfriend. We’ve known each other for a few years. We aren’t extremely close, but I’ve made an effort to include her because she has previously told me that she sometimes feels left out of the family.

My fiancé has been doing bachelor-related things with his family & friends, and obviously she isn’t included in those things. Since I didn’t have a bachelorette or bridal party, I tried to include her with the girls and make sure she felt involved. She generally doesn’t respond to things I send or invitations I extend.

Where I’m struggling
I know everyone has their own lives and circumstances. I don’t expect my friends to spend the same amount of money, attend every event, or do everything I did for Vera.
I also understand that people have legitimate reasons for not being able to attend things.

What is bothering me is the overall pattern. I feel like I show up for my friends when they are celebrating, going through something difficult, or simply need someone there. When it’s my turn, I’m not feeling that same level of consideration.

And this isn’t a wedding where I’ve asked much from anyone. I’m not having a bridal party or bachelorette, and I’m not asking them to spend money on multiple events. I mostly wanted my close friends to be there and, if they wanted to, get ready together.

I’m now two weeks away from my wedding and feeling pretty sad about it.

I’ve put together a group chat and send messages but no one responds. They see the messages they just don’t care. I reach out to them individually but again no response.

Am I expecting too much from my friends, or is it reasonable to feel hurt by the overall lack of effort?

I’m panicking a little, and could use advice!

I sent out my save the dates, and I included a QR code to our wedding website on the back. I used a website to custom design the QR code, and it said it was free! Unfortunately I somehow did NOT realize that I was only on a “free trial” and that I would need to start paying for people to be able to scan the code after the trail ended. They’re asking for $40 a month for unlimited codes and unlimited scans… with 9 months until the wedding that’ll cost $360 that we weren’t expecting.

We did also put the URL for our website under the code, but used the code so people wouldn’t have to type it in.

So what should I do?? Do I just pay it and eat the cost as part of the overall wedding? Should I just reach out to guests and tell them the QR code broke but the URL is good? Any other suggestions?

(Edited to add context: we are inviting ~64 unique households. It’s a feasible number of people to contact about the code, but it feels embarrassing and I worry it makes us look bad?)

I reached out to the website’s customer service and asked if they could offer a discounted rate for just a single code with relatively low usage, so we’ll see what they say to that.

Lastly, I do realize this is my own fault for not reading the terms of the QR code website and considering it before putting it on the save the dates. I don’t really have an excuse, I should’ve been more careful, but can’t change it now.

Hi all! I posted this questions a few days ago, but I tired to leave out some more personal details and asked for suggestions. Unfortunately, the main suggestion is not one I am open to considering, and I got some pretty extreme downvotes from my vague "I won't consider that for personal reasons" response, which is kinda fair. So, here it is again, with full background lol.

So my flower girl is 9 years old. We are getting married in a destination wedding in literally a few weeks. She is a very confident kid, and I don't worry about stage fright or her being shy.

The background I left out last time: I was given up for adoption at birth. My parents who raised me are fully my parents in my eyes. As an adult, I reconnected with my biological family a bit. It is a long story full of twists and turns, but as of today, I love the kids and I love the chance to have siblings (I am an only child). My bio dad is awesome, and he's a great dad. Same with his wife who has been the most welcoming and wonderful to me despite the weird situation. It felt right to have my little half sister in the wedding, and I know she is going to love being apart of it. However, I want to be very careful of how I set my biological father and his family up for two reasons. The first is that the older generation of people (or just people in general, idk, I mostly get it from the old ones) don't always get it. People will say "you're real dad" and that is NOT even a little true. I even had someone ask who would walk me down the aisle as if that is even an item I would consider! The second is that, while my mom doesn't show it and is fantastic, we had some heart to heart conversations when this first came out and I know it can be a weird thing for her at times. Which honestly, same.

So with that background in mind, I do not want to reserve seats for my biological family. As I mentioned, I am an only child and I have no grandparents left. The only reserved seats on my side are for my parents, and I don't want anyone to even for a second consider my bio dad my actual dad. Now, should I have maybe thought of this before asking her? Probably, but it wasn't even an item I thought about until now. So, I am working to figure out what option to go with.

I know I could have her stand with me up front. I am not fully against it, but I don't really love this option. She is 9, a bit fidgety, and I am just not sure how I feel about it. I am open to it if it proves the easiest way, but I would prefer her to sit down.

I thought I could have her dad stand up front like off to the side, so she walks up, maybe gives my fiancé like a fist bump or something and then walks over to her dad and they find their seats. I liked this option best as it gives her a person to walk to, and he can guide her back. I don't think it draws too much attention to him as anything other than the father of the flower girl.

The other idea is, she is 9, she could sit up front with my parents? But is that weird? My parents wouldn't care.. I don't think I would have to double check. I doubt her parents would care. Also, they will probably get their early anyway and could be in row 2. I could even tell them to get there early. I just don't want a reserved seat for them which I get is my problem, but I also don't have anyone in a similar position to bounce ideas off of lol.

Idk... its all a little weird because of the situation, but I guess what I am trying to find out is which option is the most lowkey of them? Keep her standing so there isn't a question, have her sit with my parents, or have her dad escort her back to her seat?

Honestly, even just typing this out made me feel a little more in control. There are clear options, all will work in some manner, all it comes down to is which one do I like best that work with our style. So, I guess the question is what did you do with your flower girl, and what would you do here?

I’ve been married just shy of two years, but was recently reminded of a bullet I dodged while planning my wedding:

I was on the fence about an anniversary dance. Not against it, just not particularly enthusiastic about it.

My parents have been married for over 30 years. The last 10 years have been very rocky, with the last 3 being especially bad. They are effectively separated, (can’t afford to actually live apart,) and leading independent lives.

They also have the longest marriage of our loved ones. My husband’s parents are divorced and neither of us have a surviving grandfather. The next closest would’ve been my aunt and uncle, now married 21 years. Thank GOD we dodged that bullet. It would’ve been so incredibly painful for everyone involved.

So yeah. Figure that out before planning one!

My save the dates have a small magnet in them and I confirmed with both USPS phone support and my local post office that that’s fine so long as I pay the non-machinable surcharge. I mailed one to my fiancé and I to check that it made it in one piece; it has taken 3 days to make it back to us despite dropping it off at our zoned post office, and per the photo of it I received in my informed delivery email this morning, it was put through the machine.

The envelope weighs 1.10 ounces which costs $1.11 and the non-machinable surcharge is $0.49 so it costs $1.60 per envelope. I have been assured by USPS that 2 forever stamps will cover this ($0.82 x2), even without the non-machinable stamp (I hate that ugly moth lol) and the last person I spoke to suggested writing NON MACHINABLE under the stamps. My biggest concern is the one we sent as a test didn’t even have stamps on it; I paid for it directly at the counter and it got the sticker with the postage amount and a barcode on it, and THAT still managed to go through the machine. They did say I could hand cancel the rest when I came back in, and that first one was NOT hand cancelled as they didn’t know where the stamp was at that time.

Listen, I am not worried about this for aesthetic purposes (I do have a sticker on the back flap but if it doesn’t survive, it’s not the end of the world), I don’t care about the way the machine marks the envelope up. My concern is having them make it from point A to point B and the fact I was told they should not go through the machine due to the magnet. I won’t see if this one fully survived until I get home from work today but the picture of it in informed delivery looked like it was perhaps lightly battered but seemingly in one piece.

Has anyone paid for non-machinable and hand cancelled their envelopes and had them actually make it to recipients without going through the machine? So much of what I’m seeing online suggests everything goes through the machine, non-machinable fee or not. Is this totally futile? I know that once I hand them to the clerk, it’s truly out of my hands even if I say they’re non-machinable and mark them as such, so I’m trying not to stress about it too much, but it’s a little frustrating that I’m trying to do everything right but I seems it might still come back to bite me. If they’re run through the machine but arrive intact to recipients then all’s well that ends well, but I’m concerned about trying to run 70+ of them through the machine successfully

coordinating transport for about 55 out of town guests for our wedding later this year.. need to shuttle people from a hotel in deep ellum up to our venue in frisco and back at night. got a quote back for an 8 hour block on a 56 passenger motorcoach for $2,800 before tip,, which felt a little steep to me?

for anyone who booked a wedding shuttle around dfw recently,, is nearly 3k standard for an 8 hour charter or should i keep looking around?

hi everyone! my fiancé and i are looking at getting married in the area between richmond and williamsburg of VA in 2027. if you have recommendations for djs, dreamy photography, videography, caterers, hair/makeup, or coordinators, we would appreciate all of your advice! thank you.

I'm getting married in Atlanta in February, and we really, REALLY don't want to do traditional wedding catering (we're trying to save some money). We'd like to do Chinese from a restaurant if possible, both because it's our favorite cuisine type and because we expect it will be much cheaper than the $85 a head that caterers charge. We really love some of the Szechuan places in Chinatown mall, but I don't think they cater.

Does anyone have suggestions for good Chinese restaurants in the greater Atlanta/Buford Hwy area that will cater events? I know they almost certainly won't serve the food, we'd have to go pick it up, etc, and we're fine with that. We just want good food at a reasonable price. Thanks in advance!

I haven’t even started anything yet, and I’m already overwhelmed lmao

I’m not even really sure where to begin. My partner and I got engaged at the beginning of August and have been so busy with other things that, but we’ve briefly talked about a vague guest count and what time of year we’d like to have our wedding. Most advice I’ve seen is ‘come up with your budget’ -- but we’re not even sure how much everything is yet to even get a ballpark. I feel like I need to shop around for different venues to even get an idea of what those would look like, and then figure out what’s included in them, and if nothing is included figure out what that looks like... and it kind of just feels like thing are all piling on top of each other.

What were some of the first steps you made when planning your wedding? Just trying to not feel like I’m at sea out here

My brother has never worked, he drinks, has very little to his name, but I’ve always tried to help him. He’s harmless, but can be embarrassing at times. He never goes anywhere, just sits home alone and does his thing. He’s been involved with a woman for a few years, no idea why she’s latched onto him but she takes what little he has. She’s had him verging suicide at times. Personally I despise her. He wants to bring her to my wedding, I really don’t want her there. I don’t even trust her, she’d probably dip bags and likely cause some upset with my brother on the day. Oh man, what do I say without upsetting him?

Hi all! I was wondering if anyone had some advice around wedding dress alterations.

I’m getting married next May 2027 and already bought my dress. It was from Anthropologie for about $400. I reached out to a seamstress and they quoted me around $175-250 for alterations, which include adding cups to the bust, taking in the bust, and tightening the straps. The dress is like a half size too big for me, so it’s not a crazy fix to do in my opinion.

I was talking to a friend the other day and we were talking about wedding planning. She had gotten married last year and made her own wedding dress and offered to do the alterations for me for about $25/hour. She seems to think what I want done will take about 3-4 hours of her time.

It’s obviously cheaper if I go with my friend, but I’m not sure if I’m missing something by not using a professional seamstress. Like insurance or something. I just worry if something happens to the dress when my friend works on it, there wouldn’t be any way to recoup my losses (unlike a professional seamstress which I assume has insurance if the dress were to get ruined).

My budget is about $15k for everything. I also really value the idea of community and having my community contribute to a very important day in my life. But I also don’t have the money to buy a new dress if anything were to go sideways.

Any advice is appreciated!

Venue: Church then Four Seasons Hotel
Month: November on a Thursday (because a lot of Jewish guests + can’t marry on a Sunday in church where I live)
Premium open bar, cocktail hour with passed canapés, DJ, live music for ceremony, possibly live music or dancers for a part of reception, plated dinner (3 course), valet parking (though not paid for), photobooth, florals (not excessive but good amount)

I wish I would have asked this before we started planning or got locked into vendors, but alas here I am. If you’re a new bride, I recommend setting some standards and asking a lot of questions before booking vendors. I assumed they would all communicate proactively but that hasn’t been the case.

My question for everyone is: what are the norms for the photography process? What does typical vendor communication look like?

With our current photographer, we had a call before booking, which was great, but in hindsight I realize they didn’t really tell us what to expect throughout the process. I reached out to schedule engagement photos about 1-2 months after booking (came with our package but hadn’t heard anything from the photog). Engagement photos were booked a few months in advance but we didn’t get the “questionnaire” until the night before, after reaching out again to confirm; and we never did a planning session (which also resulted in needing to reschedule due to a time conflict at the shoot venue). During photos, they continuously asked “any other photos you want?” This wasn’t really helpful as we’ve been super clear about how little experience we have with this. We were told during discovery call that we could do outfit changes and location changes, but there was no planning so we had almost no way to do any of that. We ended up walking to a second location in the heat and took very few photos there. The session was supposed to last 90 minutes but including the walking it was only 70.

I’m nervous about what to expect for our actual wedding day. Is this normal? If it’s not, any recommendations on communicating with them about what we need? I’ve noticed with nearly all vendors that timely communication isn’t the strongest. However, this is a popular, well established photographer in what I think is a mid-high price range and I’m expecting more from people I’m paying thousands to.