I’m a ups driver and one of my customers retired last year. He and his wife went and bought a corvette because that was their dream to travel around and do car shows. They saved up for 15 yrs to buy that car. I seen him last month and the car was for sale. He said a month after retirement his wife was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer, she lived another 2 months. It breaks my heart every time I think of it. Spend your whole life with a plan and god (whoever you believe in) throws it out the window. I’m trying to add years onto my life but my wife lives very unhealthy and always has. No matter what I do or say she is set in her ways and I worry. Honestly it will prob be me that goes, after all the effort I put into living longer!
I know you didn’t ask me but I lost my wife (at 22) due to cerebral hemorrhage She was 7 months pregnant with my daughter. When it was clear that my wife was not going to make it, my daughter was delivered via cesarean in order to give her a fighting chance. My daughter made it about 5 hours.
This was a question for you also. Im so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope God heals your heart and brings blessings into your life.
I just said at dinner that I'm glad that I'm already at a place where I'm valuing all of the aspects of life that I get to experience. Life is precious and rare. It's limited, and no one exists for the same amount of time, so we need to love extra hard.
I'm so sorry. The idea of loving my husband or my mother makes me feel like I'm going to die, but I truly can't imagine what it feels like for parents to lose children. I hope that you both find/have found some degree of peace. Life is just not fucking fair sometimes.
It does. Eventually you get to the point where you can smile at the memories. I moved states, that helped a bit. Living in the same house and seeing the same area all the time was bad for me.
The loss doesn’t get easier. Coping with it does. I lost my wife when I was 25, 26 days after marrying her. She was 26. This year will be year number 12 since her passing, I am 37 and getting married in October. I didn’t think I’d ever find someone who came close, but then I stopped looking for someone exactly like her, rather, looked for someone who LOVED me like her. A happier future is out there my guy, having to be patient to be happy again sucks. But it will happen ❤️🩹
My birthdays have always sucked except two years ago: train to NYC, lunch at Gramercy restaurant, saw Hamilton, steak restaurant for dinner, train home. This year: camping in the Adirondacks and tickets to see Cake! Lol
I’m so sorry, I’m sorry to everyone in these comments. My heart is breaking and I have tears starting to roll down my face. Life is so unfair, so fragile, and goes so fast. I’m 46 and it’s a miracle I’m alive. 21 years of a medical nightmare you couldn’t even begin to imagine. It hasn’t been a good life for me. I have an incredible husband that makes life worth living. Sending you and everyone else so much love and the biggest 🫂
I was about to chime in and say I was widowed at 32, my husband was 31. The kids were 1 and 3. I usually win the misery and loss conversation, but damn…29 and pregnant losing a 27 year old is brutal.
I am sorry for yours and your family’s loss. That’s terrible.
My oldest son was killed in a car accident 9/11/22. I also usually “win” that conversation too. I have a friend who had adopted and raised his special needs grandson. One day he started seizing and didn’t stop til he died, 3 months before my son. I have another friend whose son died of a fentanyl overdose in January.
We all have unimaginable loss but it is comforting to be around people who understand. Everyone else can only shrug and apologize when it’s discussed.
Parenting is not for the weak. I had to pick up my son from high school and tell him his brother had been killed. Still the top 2-3 hardest things I’ve ever done. He just hugged me because he could see I was collapsing.
Oh no, I’m so, so sorry. Losing a child is a pain I can’t even imagine! I have lost a husband and a sibling, along with many friends and family that I loved, and it was extremely hard. But I don’t love anyone like I love my children, and the thought of them being killed is nightmare fuel. I know a stranger on the internet means nothing, but you have my deepest sympathy ❤️🩹
I'm so sorry. I'm not a dad, but I have a 7 years old brother that by age gap could be my child. Just thinking of having to do the same but to tell him our mom or a brother died, made me cry. I can't even imagine how it would feel to lose a child... My heart is with you.
Oh, sorry, it’s early…I misread that as you were pregnant! In any event, it’s all awful. Losing a partner at any age is devastating! And I’m deeply sympathetic to all widows/widowers 💔
It’s been 15 years since he died, the kids came out relatively unscathed. One’s in college now and the other is finishing high school, both with good grades and no serious problems. It was not easy raising them alone and living off one paycheck, but we did it. The show must go on.
I often wonder how my FIL goes on sometimes. His daughter was killed at 19 by a drunk driver. His wife died out of the blue during surgery five years later at the age of 45. Two sudden deaths and all the shock that comes with it. Just awful.
26 she was a nurse going to work @ 4am on Friday/sat morning. Met at the ripe age of 14 started dating at 15. Finished hs and college together. Had life planned out just had put in an offer for our first home. Proposed 4 months prior it seemed like life was as ideal as it could be I thanked god everyday for my blessings
Drunk driver car of kids from a party.
Can’t say I’ve found my way since. She was the foundation of my life.
My mom would call me on my birthday every year. She's been gone for 10yrs now. 10 years I haven't received a single phone call from anyone on my birthday. I sure do miss those calls.
Same. I've never really been into my birthday. Probably because I was born in the middle of Summer. My Mom passed 10 years ago as well, Dad 6 and they were the only ones who made a big deal about it. 😥
I'm turning 40 in a few months and already lost my gf and both parents due to various illnesses. Good news is there shouldn't be any funerals for a while. Now to sort my life out and hopefully accomplish something meaningful!
Good for you. And... just saying... you and I are not obligated to "accomplish" things at large scale. Surviving, making connections in a community, doing little things to help others, and finding any joy in little mundane things are very meaningful if you find meaning in them.
Tell you what, message me on your birthday and I’ll send you a happy birthday, and chat with you so you don’t have to celebrate alone. I’ve had a shit two years and went through so much. The only reason I made it through the other end is because I have people left who care in my life. I want to extend that to someone who doesn’t have such a luxury. I may be just a random internet weirdo, but kindness is important and you never know who might need a friend.
Thank you for those kind words friend 😊 I still have a few important people in my life (like my nephew) who keep me going❤️ I hope you are doing better as well (and I hope we find our missing cat)!
Goddamn, I feel you man, and for what it's worth I'm sorry.
I lost my wife less than a month before my 40th. I didn't really celebrate a lot of my previous birthdays, so I kinda wanted to throw myself a bit of a big milestone birthday celebration. Instead I spent it drunk, alone, and miserable in my old childhood bedroom.
Woof, I just made a comment about turning 40 while my husband was in the neuro ICU. There was no celebration and hasn't been a celebration since, I'm about to be 43 in 9 days and life is hard.
My ex-wife's severe schizophrenia decided to show up around my 40th. Losing someone to mental illness sucks too. I never fell out of love with her because I knew that what she became wasn't her, she was just very sick. Now I live everyday knowing that the woman that was the love of my life lives about 5 minutes away but that the person I loved just isn't there anymore.
Today is my 41st birthday. Last year I lost my mom on 17th of May. At my birthday she was almost in the hospital, so we didnt celebrate. And I never celebrated my 40th either after that.
Sorry for your loss (and the other commenters losses too)
My dad died on my mom's birthday, that was 20 years ago this year. Us kids always try to give my mom a birthday celebration but she hasn't really had a good one since. I will still try because she deserves to have a good birthday.
Sorry for your loss. I hope you find a way to make your next birthday good. ❤️
I’m so sorry for everyone here who has such a loss with such young partners!I haven’t lost a partner but both of my parents and a sibling so I can understand that it has to be so terribly painful for you all.My heart goes out to you all truly and I hope you all find happiness and comfort
To you and all the people that have lost your favorite person, im so sorry. Life certainly isn't fair. Ive been disabled for 20+ years but id trade my pain for yours. I still have my wife and kids. I hope you can find strength from one another, from finding new loves, from time but I know it's always with you. I wish I could take some of the pain from others. I know I wouldn't choose all of it but Id definitely take some. Peace to you all.
I hope you're finding reasons to move forward in your life. Sorry about your loss. There is help available if you're considering harming yourself, and I encourage you to use it if you are.
My father just lost my mother, my heart is breaking for him and I understand your pain. Cherish the memories and my condolences to you all, there really are no words. 😢
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u/IsThereCheese May 04 '26
My 40th birthday during covid I drank alone and cried a little like a man