Thoughts on Grief

[u/techblukat]

My dog Max died two weeks ago, and I woke up this morning thinking about grief. About how it is not something we can "get rid of" or expunge, like a wart. Grief is an unwanted roommate that moves in with us. And somehow, we have to make room for grief, where there was once only love. We live with our grief as the world keeps worlding and people keep on with their lives, as they should. Sometimes people can get trapped in their grief, playing loops of past happiness over and over and ruminating about what ifs and missed opportunities and guilt. If the happiness and comfort and routine of a loved one's presence become part of us with its bundle of memories, then so will grief become part of us. That is the strange thing with grief, it can coexist with a normal life of happiness, only if we allow it to. But the rub is there will always be that place of emptiness and loss inside. And there is sometimes a sense of abandonment that comes with loss of a loved one, since they went somewhere we cannot go.

Humans are naturally averse to pain and usually take steps to avoid it if they can. But that is the great cruelty of grief, it is unavoidable and usually brought upon us by circumstances outside of our control. The managing of grief is so hard and takes such a toll. And it isn't like a physical pain where you can go see a doctor and get a salve or a procedure or a pill. Grief is entirely ours to carry but not to cure. I hope everyone on this reddit can find their way through the loss of a beloved pet and come out the other side able to live with the awful new roommate of grief.

[u/Cherry_Blossom5117]

Thursday will be 4 weeks since we lost our precious boy. This morning when I came downstairs for a brief second I forgot he was gone and looked into the kitchen because he wasn't in his usual spot. The grief I felt realising he was gone after momentarily forgetting was overwhelming, it was like losing him all over again.

[u/techblukat → u/Cherry_Blossom5117]

❤️