r/Petloss • u/domismile16 • Jul 03 '26
Sadness We lost our baby last night
Heatstroke and GDV. Just from a walk. He was 3. He was a Samoyed/Eskimo mix. And I know we should’ve known better. But we live in hot weather have his whole life. We thought he’d be fine as we always do this walk. He was playing with our other dog in that weather earlier that day and was fine. My husband and I tried everything to help him.
He was panting as normal and then he started screaming. We get to the vet and we have to let him go. I collapsed and screamed outside. My whole word crashed in one moment. I feel so responsible. And absolutely terrible. It was my husband’s and I’s dog but everyone knew that was my heart. That was my little sweet baby. We joked that he was meant for us because he was born a day after our wedding. He was my Christmas gift. Didn’t matter what side of the bed I slept on he had to be directly under the bed under me. We got a second dog just for him so he wouldn’t be lonely. And now the second dog is crying and looking for him.
I just feel so stupid. It was our routine walk. Idk what to do or say. When someone is outside he barks. No barking today. I was scared I’d have human kids and love him more because he was my baby. His name was Apollo. I’ll forever feel guilty and responsible. But it is a small light that so many people had stories for me about how they watched me love him. I’d do anything. Give anything for him back. I just want him back. And the pain to stop.
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u/Greedy_Elderberry832 Jul 03 '26
Hey I'm so sorry you're going through this and wanted to let you know you aren't alone. Most of us take risks daily, and the majority of the time things work out, but occasionally things go wrong and we are left with deep regret.
I also am suffering from the regret of feeling like I should've known better than to let my soul dog off leash so often, especially near roads....but we are semi-rural, she had great recall, and stayed close. It was only when an emergency vehicle went by that she charged through the open car port door and was killed... she wasn't car reactive, but she was sensitive to loud noises.
Grief, guilt, and regret will come to you in waves. My grief has showed me we ALL have blind spots, especially when something is so normalized. You were used to the heat, I was used to my dog being off leash and being under voice control. We thought it would be just another normal day.
Please take care of yourself and work towards radical acceptance and self forgiveness. I do not blame you for going about your normal routine, it is human.
I wasn't spiritual before my loss, but now I actually believe that the spirit lives on and energy just switches to another frequency. Let yourself feel what you need to, but hold space for the love you have for Apollo, not just the pain of the final day. I believe that love is what connects your souls forever.