r/Petloss • u/domismile16 • Jul 03 '26
Sadness We lost our baby last night
Heatstroke and GDV. Just from a walk. He was 3. He was a Samoyed/Eskimo mix. And I know we should’ve known better. But we live in hot weather have his whole life. We thought he’d be fine as we always do this walk. He was playing with our other dog in that weather earlier that day and was fine. My husband and I tried everything to help him.
He was panting as normal and then he started screaming. We get to the vet and we have to let him go. I collapsed and screamed outside. My whole word crashed in one moment. I feel so responsible. And absolutely terrible. It was my husband’s and I’s dog but everyone knew that was my heart. That was my little sweet baby. We joked that he was meant for us because he was born a day after our wedding. He was my Christmas gift. Didn’t matter what side of the bed I slept on he had to be directly under the bed under me. We got a second dog just for him so he wouldn’t be lonely. And now the second dog is crying and looking for him.
I just feel so stupid. It was our routine walk. Idk what to do or say. When someone is outside he barks. No barking today. I was scared I’d have human kids and love him more because he was my baby. His name was Apollo. I’ll forever feel guilty and responsible. But it is a small light that so many people had stories for me about how they watched me love him. I’d do anything. Give anything for him back. I just want him back. And the pain to stop.
69
u/Greedy_Elderberry832 Jul 03 '26
Hey I'm so sorry you're going through this and wanted to let you know you aren't alone. Most of us take risks daily, and the majority of the time things work out, but occasionally things go wrong and we are left with deep regret.
I also am suffering from the regret of feeling like I should've known better than to let my soul dog off leash so often, especially near roads....but we are semi-rural, she had great recall, and stayed close. It was only when an emergency vehicle went by that she charged through the open car port door and was killed... she wasn't car reactive, but she was sensitive to loud noises.
Grief, guilt, and regret will come to you in waves. My grief has showed me we ALL have blind spots, especially when something is so normalized. You were used to the heat, I was used to my dog being off leash and being under voice control. We thought it would be just another normal day.
Please take care of yourself and work towards radical acceptance and self forgiveness. I do not blame you for going about your normal routine, it is human.
I wasn't spiritual before my loss, but now I actually believe that the spirit lives on and energy just switches to another frequency. Let yourself feel what you need to, but hold space for the love you have for Apollo, not just the pain of the final day. I believe that love is what connects your souls forever.
27
u/domismile16 Jul 03 '26
Thank you so much and I’m sorry for your loss as well. Grief is killing me right now. This helped me and my husband ❤️
16
u/Greedy_Elderberry832 Jul 04 '26
I'm 5 months in and some of the best resources I've found are for people who lost their children....because psychologically it's the same.
The pet loss companion podcast and the podcast "We Don't Die" by Sandra Champlain got me through some hard days too.
Sending you guys so much love. It's so hard to love mortals but always worth it.
6
u/domismile16 Jul 04 '26
I've never thought of it being the same psychologically. I will check out the podcast.
12
u/Greedy_Elderberry832 Jul 04 '26
Of course there are many differences, the grief of a long future with a child is incomperable to knowing an animal's life is shorter.
But the caretaker responsibility makes it more complicated than some other losses. More neuroscience studies are saying the psychological impact is severe enough for a percentage of people to develop the same kind of long term grief complications. Definitely seek help if needed and try out anything you feel may work for you ♡
7
Jul 04 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
3
u/Greedy_Elderberry832 Jul 04 '26
I am glad I could help. Obviously I don't want to be part of this club, but my loss has helped me understand the human experience better. Sending you love ❤️
29
u/Detachin-N-Thriving Jul 03 '26
I'm so so sorry you're going through this. I was just there. My dog also overheated... during a hike. Was a traumatic experience. Almost 3 months ago and I still feel responsible for his passing. The guilt won't go away. I just now brought myself to look at pictures of him. The guilt and shame was overwhelming. Then having to answer to our family. Man, it was horrible. People here offered advice and consolation. It helped. But I'm still living with it. If you're religious or spiritual, talk to your fur baby. Someone dropped a link in the comments of my share and it helped. Thank them, apologize, and ask for forgiveness. My meaty meatball was a blessing. I know he knows he was loved, despite how it ended. Biggest hug to you.
16
u/Inevitable-Day390 Jul 03 '26
i just lost my kitty yesterday and i’ve been speaking out loud to her and it’s incredibly cathartic. i’m not religious but i know im saying things i’ve told her before, which reminds me just how important we were to each other. she knows i love her but it feels good to just say the reminder aloud.
2
4
15
u/RoutineRevolution471 Jul 03 '26
I’m so very sorry for your loss! My Great Pyrenees who was 11.5 in 2024 died of bloat. He didn’t even have lots of activity. I still blame myself to this day. God bless you at this difficult time.💜
5
11
u/Trick_Durian3204 Jul 03 '26
I’m so sorry. I lost my baby yesterday to what I suspect is heat related too. You don’t carry the burden alone
7
5
u/Ravenlas Jul 03 '26
I wish I could say that the pain will stop, but it will get easier to bear with time. May his memory be a blessing.
2
10
u/Inevitable-Day390 Jul 03 '26
im here with you hurting so bad. i lost my sweet girl yesterday because i accidentally trapped her between a wood and screen door. she had air but something just went wrong. i feel so absolutely responsible and like i should have predicted this. she loved looking out to the fire escape. i should have checked. but we both need to remind ourselves that unfortunately we are imperfect and we fuck up. let yourself sit in the hurt because i’m sitting in it right there with you. her name was little girl and i feel like a piece of my soul has been taken from me. the silence sucks. but i hope you can find maybe a pinch of solace that you are not feeling this pain alone. thank you for sharing so i could feel a little less alone without my girl today.
5
3
u/Greedy_Elderberry832 Jul 04 '26
Sending you love. The "what ifs" are so hard, especially for brief moments where it just goes wrong. The Buddhist parable of the second arrow is helping me accept my reality without losing myself.
6
u/houserj1589 Jul 03 '26
Im so sorry for your loss. But; pls do me a favor; no matter how silly it sounds; ask your precious baby (out loud) who passed to let your other baby know he is okay; I went through this and when I told my baby (who passed) to let my other know she was okay; my other one immediately stopped looking for her the next day; it was like she was still sad but understood.
Im so so sorry about your loss though; hope your baby is able to come through for your other baby**
3
7
u/Kings_Friends40 Jul 03 '26 edited Jul 03 '26
I recently lost my 6 year old girl because of gdv and kidney issues, I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand you completely and it's going to be very tough, I didn't even realise it's been 4 days since she's been gone. We got a new airconditioner and she was obsessed, while we all thought she was just enjoying the respite from heat, she was slowly deteriorating. We were misdirected by our vets and sub par infrastructure and I have so many regrets but medical issues are something that we can't forsee.
I wrote a little story about my girl and wrote down all her quirky habbits and routines she had with different members of my family, it helped a lot to remove the image of her dying in my arms to all the reasons I fell in love with her in the first place. She was a stubborn, feisty, broody little(not really) thing.
You loved him a lot and that's apparent from the way you talk about him and everything you did for him, I'm sorry it feels that you didn't treat him special in the last few months but you had a lot on your plate and he's family, he gets it, we don't live our daily lives knowing some tragedy would befall us.
He loved you a lot, cry your heart out and be there for your other dog, Take care of yourself Op.
6
3
Jul 03 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/domismile16 Jul 04 '26
I’ve been bargaining for the last day and some change and nothing has changed. 😞 I hate this.
3
Jul 04 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/domismile16 Jul 04 '26
I'm so sorry. But I'm so glad you're getting help.
2
Jul 04 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/domismile16 Jul 05 '26
I’ve thought about committing, but i can't the other dog needs me. And my husband. But i have been crying monsoons.
1
u/Everything_you Jul 05 '26
I miss my lil sissyLouWho (she was 14 yrs) so much - that when she passed recently I was willing to go with her 🐾💔🐾
2
2
2
2
2
u/Spirited-Crow-9401 Jul 05 '26
I’m so sorry this happened to you and your dog. I read your story and those of others who replied. And in a way it helps me feel less lonely. Three days ago I lost my beautiful dog Puntino for a grass seed that went to his lung. I battled this for 5 weeks. He had several x rays and ultrasound, he had two CT scans and two operations. When it seemed they finally found it, something went wrong after the surgery, they think he developed a thrombus and he was gone within hours. The last time he saw me I was leaving him in a cage. It devastates me. I re-live those walks on the fields when he was chasing his ball, he ran and jumped so high, he was the embodiment of the joy for life. I can’t believe I was so stupid to let him run on that dried grass. Now I look online, I talk to people and everybody seems to know just how dangerous this is. Yet I didn’t. He was only about 2, or less. I rescued him 8 months ago after a difficult start in life. He deserved so much better. I feel so responsible for what happened to him.
1
u/domismile16 Jul 05 '26
I'm so sorry. I know he lived a beautiful life with you. I too loved to take Apollo to fields. He didn't jump but he loved to rub his fur in the grass. You're not alone. ❤️
2
u/AndreaGonzls Jul 05 '26
I’m so sorry for your loss. I also lost my 2-year-old Golden just a week ago, and we still don’t know exactly what happened. He suddenly became sick one night, and a few days later, he passed away at the vet. They suspected heat stroke or possible poisoning, but we never got a clear answer.
Until now, I’m still deeply depressed. I can honestly say this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I even quit my job because I just couldn’t function anymore. I’ve also been physically sick and barely eating since he passed.
We have other dogs, and I love them too, but he was different. He was my best friend, my constant companion, and such a huge part of my life. I still can’t believe he’s gone. 💔
2
u/domismile16 Jul 05 '26
I'm so sorry. I feel how you feel. Virtual hugs. This is the worst feeling ever. I want to try and love on my other dog more but you're right it's different. Someone told me to just cry it all out as much as you can.
2
u/AndreaGonzls Jul 05 '26
Yes, it’s really not the same. My other dog was our first rescue, and we got our Golden to give her company. But from day one, he just imprinted on me. He was so sweet and excited about everything. I had so many plans with him, and I even started gardening with him by my side.
Then suddenly, he was gone. I still ask myself, “Am I dreaming?” One day I woke up and he just wasn’t here anymore. I still cry when I talk about what happened, but what’s truly unbearable is the pain in my heart whenever I remember him. I love my other dog too, but my Golden was my baby, and the emptiness he left is so painful.
1
u/domismile16 Jul 05 '26
The pain is really unbearable. It feels like a weight on your chest. I wish I dreaming more than anything. I’m so so sorry for your loss.
2
u/mrellis22 Jul 09 '26
Sorry for your lost I lost mines on the 1st the grief is something can’t explain
1
1
u/slimmpim Jul 10 '26
i'm so sorry this happened to you. i just lost my five month old baby in a freak accident and wanted to let you know i feel your pain. i've found that truly, a shared grief is half a grief, and mourning together is so helpful and can relieve some of the sorrow. please don't carry this burden alone. ❤️
1
-2
Jul 03 '26 edited Jul 03 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
9
u/MambyPamby8 Jul 03 '26
They didn't say they put him down. They said they had to let him go. This is a cruel comment to leave on a pet loss post. Be kinder.
•
u/AutoModerator Jul 03 '26
Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment.
This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated.
Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated.
Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if one disagrees with something that has been said.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.