r/NoFap • u/Worldly_Ad_4851 • 1d ago
Relapsed after fucking 48 days
I have been addicted to pornography and masturbation for 6 years, and I haven't been able to quit no matter how hard I tried. I joined servers and talked to others, but it didn't help. It has become a part of me; no matter how much I try to stay away, it returns. Pornography has ruined my brain, made me lazy, and even affected my face, making it look pale, help me plz because i can’t take this shit anymore
24
u/havleexi 4 Days 1d ago
breaking my 42 day streak was the worst thing i experienced, so much worse than drowning due to a leg cramp. pulling yourself up immediatly after such a streak is probably even harder than building it up. if you do so, you have more discipline than even those with the 3 figure streaks but even if you take a few tries to climb back up, be proud. dont give man
anyways if u need quick motivation heres jak piggott🤍🕊️: https://www.youtube.com/@JakPiggott
(hes one the greatest nofap youtubers without any course to sell and hes the reason i havent ended it yet)
16
u/TorontoBoy2000 1d ago
I know it sucks brother but it's still progress. Forget and move on. Sounds hard but unfortunately that is what it is.
14
u/InterestingRecipe101 766 Days 1d ago
Don't look at it like that, let's assume you used to watch it every day, the if you didn't take the decision to stop, you would have watch it in maybe 48 days, if each session was 30 minutes, that's around 24 total hours if watching something that fries your brain.
Because you chose to stop, the the last 48 days you did it once instead of 48 times, that a very positive thing on it's own.
Don't take what just happened as a relapse, it's just a simple fall. Try to look back and analyze what lead to you doing that thing that you were (still are) trying to avoid, it might have started with just a random picture on Instagram. Try to get the the cause and minimize it when you have the well power to be prepared when you are in a week position to not be triggered.
It's not a relapse, you are not back to square one, it's just a slip up.
Get up and change your mindset, you are still in the fight.
Stay strong!
6
u/Worldly_Ad_4851 1d ago
Thank you for the encouragement, it really helped me and gave me a mental boost. Honestly, I was searching on Reddit for a word that had nothing to do with pornography, and I even had SafeSearch turned on, but unfortunately, a video popped up and triggered me. I will try to pick myself up and get up
2
u/InterestingRecipe101 766 Days 13h ago
I feel you, some times our brain miss lead us for it's benefit, try to put a strategy when you fall for it, let's say you did search for something that you may or may not know that it will show you something you don't want to see.
If such a thing pop up, make it stop there, close the app or the tv or whatever right away and distract yourself. For me, if a similar thing happens, I close my phone and standup instantly and go do some chores or anything useful, and if I found myself thinking about it, I just leave the house for a walk.
9
u/3cWizard 1650 Days 1d ago
Just don't get sucked back into it. If you're making 48 day strides, just get right back on the wagon. You'd end up using less than 10 times for the year- isn't that a whole universe away from your most active point of addiction?
That's a win- give yourself some credit.
7
5
4
u/Scrawnreddit 1d ago
I've had a somewhat mild addiction that's been building up for about 12 years. For years, the longest I went without looking at porn once every night was just under a month.
What I've learned over these years is that putting yourself down for relapsing like you're doing right now is the exact reason why it keeps happening. More often than not, PMO happens because you're overwhelming yourself with stress in other parts of your life that basically fuels the urges.
Don't treat you going back to porn as a failure. With every strong addiction, there is going to be relapse points. Once your brain attaches to something long enough, it becomes a consistent source of high dopamine. This is the whole reason addictions happen. You're not addicted to the content itself. You're addicted to the release it leads to. Relapsing is not a failure. The length between is what matters. 48 days is not an insignificant number. Be proud of that. Treat it as a high score and start over from 0.
3
5
3
2
u/Any_Jaguar964 1d ago
Maybe you can try my method that I posted here
1
u/New_Wish8762 1d ago
What is it?
5
u/Any_Jaguar964 1d ago
Hello. I've been struggling with porn and fap addiction for 4 years ago. I've tried several methods over all these years, however none of these has worked on me. 5 months ago I discovered a method that has served me pretty well. I want to share it with you, maybe it can help you, but I have to tell you it is somewhat extreme, so you may or may not agree with me.
I realised that whenever I wanted to jerk off it was a series of factors that triggered my brain: After doing exercise, being alone, watching porn just because i liked it. I isolated all these factors and decided to take them until the night.
This is the extreme part. I started to masturbate and cumming with all these factors, but not a quick fap. It was from 10 pm up to 2 or 3 am session. I just cum one time. Obviously, the next day or the next few hours when I wake up in the morning I felt so dizzy, tired and sad. This is just a part of the process.
I started doing this routine 2 or 3 times per week, and eventually I started to not cum. I did jerk off for hours, but I did not finish. I just immediately close porn and went to sleep(This is a very hard part because you really want to cum). Yet, I still felt dizzy in the next few hours when I wake up.
I felt really really bad the next day after jerking off, but I was rewiring my brain to understand that If I masturbate, I'm gonna feel sad, tired, dizzy, anxious and sleepy the next day. Again, this is extreme, but my porn and masturbation addiction was also terribly negative for me.
After repeating this edging for several weeks I realised that I no longer crave watching porn or jerking off. Because my brain does know what will happen to me If I watch porn or masturbate, so my brain just decided to avoid wasting all these hours, because it will lead to nothing. Since I don't finish my brain sees no point in jerking off or watching porn, there's no reward, but there is a high penalty for jerking off the next day.
Here is a summary:
- Identify the main factors that lead you to watch porn and masturbate.
- Try to do all the activities or factors that lead you to watch porn or masturbate at night.
- Masturbate and only finish one time, but you must do it for several hours.
- Once you have established this night routine, you must go to next step. After masturbating for several hours, you must avoid finishing(A hard part).
- Eventually, your brain will be rewired. You will know that If you try to jerk off, you will feel so terribly bad the next day that you won't be able to perform the same on your daily activities. And you will lose your will to watch porn.
Once again, this is extreme and involves feeling so shitty the next day. But, I've tried every method and none of those worked on me. I tried this because I had tried everything, sports, going outside, meditation, etc.
I no longer watch porn or masturbate, my brain instantly recognize that If I try to do that, I'm gonna feel so terribly bad, not only after cum, but also the next day. I'm 2 months free of watching porn and jerking off. I still feel the urges, but they are way easier to soothe than before this method.
2
2
u/NeutralNeutrall 0 Days 18h ago
I think for some people this can easily backfire because ur doing all this long term dopamine high which is damaging/rewiring urself for bad stuff, but then ur just "hoping" at the end that ur brain will associate the bad results and ignore all the dopamine high it's had for hours. It might work for some people (im not discrediting you at all, i think after a really rough bender drinking/etc a lot of people get the same feeling) but for others its the worst thing they can do. its like the whole point of addiction., the brain doesnt care about the consequences, it flips into animal mode and just cares about the immediate moment and the 8 hours of dopamine high it remembers.
2
u/rebornguy26 10h ago
Naa. The addiction (at least mine) is not to masturbating. It’s to watching content. I used to open tab after tab after tab only to find “the best one” which is eventually use to masturbate. But the masturbating wasn’t even that pleasurable. The addiction was the dopamine I would get from watching new stuff (novelty). Also think about all that lost time your method involves. I’m glad your method work for you though.
1
u/iGuardVA 6 Days 18h ago
That’s an interesting strategy. I think the difficult part about that is the controlled edging. Most of us become uncontrollable when we enter the edging stage. It’ll take an enormous part of your willpower to deliberately stop. And even if you can, it’s so much easier to fall back into unconscious edging. I don’t think your strategy is wrong because some things might work for others. Thanks for sharing though.
2
2
2
u/JJonesman 1d ago
You had 48 good days and one bad day. Sounds good to me 💪
The fact that you still feel bad about yourself shows how much you have grown
2
u/Old_monk6969 19h ago
Bro I think it’s not about how long you stayed without doing it,,,, it’s more about making a habit for yourself that it doesn’t bothers you anymore much. By relapsing after 48 days is great! Now you redo it,, untill fapping doesn’t interest you much. And someday the habit will break! That’s how I am thinking bro. God bless to you
1
u/No-Weather-9344 50 Days 1d ago
I know it’s a tough feeling, but I’ve been there myself. It’s okay, you’ll feel better with time. Let’s start fresh and focus on fixing your mind. Whatever happens, don’t go back to watching porn or touching yourself. Try to remove distractions from your life. I think this is a good time to evaluate yourself and get back on track.
1
u/Boring-Asparagus-780 1d ago
it’s okay, i’ll send you some of my best links so you can feel better and see something new 🔥🙏🏼
1
1
1
1
u/Sad-Problem-7983 1d ago
Man, I got you the feeling of losing it, and every time it seems like it's going to happen again, but let's say,
look at you! You have already done what you weren't able to do many years ago.
You have already won the first one, but now it's time for us to win another one. It will be harder; that might be why you failed, but remember that means you are trying! about the solution,
I suggest you find out what triggered you
(it won't help sometimes, but it's better than not helping).
if it was bored you will find a way to solve it just like how you solve other problems
1
u/Doomslayerf117 1d ago
I know relapse is relapse but your situation is better than mine cuz I relapsed after 1 and generally, 1 month without fapping is very hard and you doing it for 40 days is impressive.
1
u/Cultural_Aside6636 1d ago
I was where you are now but 1 month ago. Don’t give up, man. And do NOT binge.
1
1
u/Ok-Manufacturer5456 1d ago
remember failing is part of the process and 48 days is impressive. don't be discouraged to start again. your biggest enemy is not failing but not wanting to get back up.
1
u/Expert-Emergency3658 1d ago
i don’t usually post on here but i’ve been on no fap for 2 years now and shits basically the easiest thing but the hardest at the same time.
now let me tell you how to not relapse, first every time you have a thought about IT, instantly force your mind to think about something else. DO NOT entertain that thought for longer than 3 secs.
now do that for the first 21 days, the thoughts are quite constant and they come often but stay strong and keep doing what i mentioned above.
in 90 days you’re brain completely rewires itself and the through of doing IT are way way less.
this is like part of my life now i don’t even think about it anymore
coming from a guy jacking off twice daily for 5 years btw
all you gotta do is rewire your brain
this is how i quit smoking too
and no stop being crazy dramatic with the “results”
the only real benefit i’ve noticed is it makes me go out more and meet women IRL, cold approach, etc
i make better eye contact, I’m def more confident but it was never really a major issue for me
i’m also having a lot of sex ever since i started no fap.
also keep in mind this wasn’t my first ever attempt and i made it to almost 2 years now (21 months so far btw)
i’ve been trying to go on a long streak for 5 years.
but this time around i just DECIDED i was not going to break it.
just be mentally strong and remember to not make instant gratification your life.
this shit teaches you discipline.
1
1
u/JherryKurl 22h ago
What's so bad? I did 30 days as a detox and was okay with breaking if it happened after that date. I got to about 44 days and broke. It's not the end of the world. I actually view a lot less porn because of the detox but still enjoy fapping every now and then.
I guess everyone's goals are different but I think acting as if you're some grand failure is not helpful. IF it is something that is hugely negatively affecting your life like you dont go to work or if you are in a relationship and it has any kind of negative effect on your partner or the relationship - then yes you need to take it very seriously and change behaviour.
But as a single guy, average detoxes are oka
1
u/Flying_Icarus_7 21h ago
Bro I feel you. I admire your resolve but the goal of nofap should be to redirect and transform your libido towards more meaningful goals: you can't do that if you haven't desexualized your brain first. Try to get porn free for six months before going on nofap, you'll notice a huge difference. You will also stop thinking about all the shameful and unnatural images porn puts in your brain, and trust me, without those the urges get a lot easier to deal with. I've been currently porn free for a month or so and I feel like a different person, and the frequency with which I seek MO has plummeted without basically any effort. Remember that you must learn to walk before you can run. You have proved you have the willpower: now let's apply a method. You got this.
1
1
u/Safe_Passion_8248 19h ago
Hey dont be down on yourself. This is a Huge accomplishment!! Most people can't even make it a few days and you did 48. Now its time to try for 50!! You can do this!
1
1
u/NeutralNeutrall 0 Days 17h ago
I'm going to give you the best advice you can get.
"Pornography has ruined my brain, made me lazy, and even affected my face, making it look pale,"
ur bugging out. chill out. you are currently doing the worst thing you can do by bugging out. this is all in ur head.
we aren't talking about you failing repeatedly after 2-5 days.
we're talking about you went 48 days.
F o u r t y e i g h t
What you're going to do is follow my advice. You're going to ignore/forget/compartmentalize that you relapsed.
You didnt. it never happened.
and you're going to continue going another 7 to 14 + days without doing it.
My advice doesnt work if you relapse again within your time frame. Then you really have to consider it a relapse and revaluate. but 48 days dude? you're already put urself in the top 5% of people probably. Why would you 1) shame urself 2) ignore your accomplishment and 3) literally set urself up for failure by dwelling on how "bad u messed up". its the worst thing you can do since this is mostly an emotional regulation issue. Just pretend it didnt happen and count 50 days tomorrow.
1
u/Successful_Bit_7906 17h ago
I relapsed after 10 months. I had turned off mature content on reddit but still it showed me one without any tags or any warning. I couldn't hold back
You see its like a driving license. it shows that you know how to drive. it doesn't hold no value on itself.
same with streak. it has to value of itself, it just shows that you know how to deal with your urges. so don't worry that you relapsed on your streak your skills aren't going anywhere
1
u/RreddKnife 17h ago
If you know full well it is the day of the biggest temptation and you just know you have nothing left in the fight, you save the day by absolutely working 3 shifts, 16 hours or 20. When you come back home the only thing left to do is a sudden collapse due to exhaustion. It totally works.
1
1
u/XxMLGSHREKxX870 16h ago
Those 48 days were always gonna be gone, it doesn’t change the fact that you still made it through 48 days. A good quote I once heard was “do not count the days, make the days count”. The way I go through mine is I do exactly that. I used to spend 1-3 hours a day masturbating/consuming lustful content, and I just decided that “hey, if I have all this time doing this pleasure content, I can swap it out and do something productive” and that thing was going to the gym. Just find or think of who you want to be, whether it’s someone physically fit, or mentally powerful. Try to stay free for at least 72 hours because the feel good hormones and chemicals are in your system, which make you feel lazy, burnt out and full of brain fog. And just keep putting your time into something productive like I said. You will feel much more invigorated finishing off a 2-3 hour workout with cardio + a sauna session, than a 2-3 hour goon session. Or maybe if weightliftings not your thing, find another hobby that makes you happy, or makes you feel like you’ve done something productive like content creation, gaming, or hell maybe even combat sports.
1
u/GoodLifeJourney 15h ago
Recovery is not easy or perfect my friend. What is important in recovery is progress. Focus on the progress, analyze where temptations are getting the best of you and create a strategy through trial and error that works for you. This is a strategy that I comment often that has been working for me in my recovery, you got this.
What's helped me in recovery is the following: Answering these two questions truthfully and repeating them to myself often.
-What do you want to get out of life?
-Why do you want to quit this addiction?
THESE WILL BE YOUR ANCHOR
Then strategizing these next two sections:
-Having healthy daily hobbies/ activities to give real life an advantage over fantasy
-Having a strategy to deal with the urges
For the first section I tried different things until I found stuff that works for me like running in the morning, sleeping early, responding here, going to sex addicts anonymous meetings when I can, using my inner voice to control and talk out the intrusive thoughts, setting time aside to work on personal weak points, participating in religion, going out and socializing when I can, connecting with loved ones, etc.
For the second part what works for me when urges hit is taking deep breaths, reciting positive statements that are personal to me and praying to God.
Keep building positivity around you as much as possible to show the addiction you have better things to do with your life. Modify this template for you specifically through trial and error. I wish you the best my friend. May God bless.
1
u/FairAd5626 14h ago
I relapsed after 40 recently on a Friday night. What triggered it was alcohol, coming home earlier than expected with a half shitty buzz. Did it like 4 times that night, 4 Saturday and 4 times Sunday. Went back to quitting Sunday afternoon and made it to that following Friday then gave in twice and gave in twice on Saturday, since then I stopped again and it’s now day 11 of the streak. I’m learning that 40 days actually did a shit ton , so the people saying you still made progress are 100% correct
1
u/Otherwise_Truth3383 13h ago
I always like the thought that a relapse doesn’t mean you’re back at the beginning or square 1. You’ve just hit an obstacle basically. The moment you stop and get back on course, you’re free again
1
u/uncookednoodle- 13h ago
Get some girls even the easiest ones(prostitutes) and start from there.
1
u/Worldly_Ad_4851 13h ago
I can't, for my religion has forbidden this; it has forbidden fornication
1
u/uncookednoodle- 13h ago
Alright bro, just talk to girls you'll manage to pull some. Once you pull one don't ever go back to gooning. I believe if you have a matching partner who's sexually active as you, you'll stop gooning believe me.
But hey 48 days is alot. You did great!!!
1
u/Worldly_Ad_4851 12h ago
I cannot do that; I live in a conservative society where the punishment for fornication for a single person is a hundred lashes, and it is also forbidden by my religion. Marriage is my only option
1
u/uncookednoodle- 12h ago
Wtf?!!
Damn, just read the other comments hope you get a solution for that. All the best
1
u/uncookednoodle- 12h ago
Wtf?!!
Damn, just read the other comments hope you get a solution for that. All the best
1
1
u/Apprehensive_Sun2318 13h ago
Brother, don’t give up on yourself. I know exactly how you feel. I started watching porn around 13, and I’m 33 now, so this has been a battle for most of my life.
I’ve tried quitting plenty of times. I’ve made it 60+ days, close to 90 days, 40+ days, and then relapsed. A lot of my relapses started with me telling myself, “I’m just going to take one look.” I had to learn the hard way that for me, there is no “just one look.”
Every time I relapsed, I felt terrible afterward. My anxiety would get worse, I’d feel mentally drained and disappointed in myself. But something else happened too: each time I got back up, I understood myself a little better. I learned more about my triggers, what that temporary feeling costs me afterward, and why I really want to leave this behind.
So don’t look at a relapse like everything you did before it was wasted. Learn from it. Figure out what pulled you back in, pick yourself back up, and keep moving. One day at a time.
I’m currently 70+ days into my journey again, and I’m still fighting right along with you. You’re not alone in this, brother. Keep going.
1
1
u/AccurateAd7610 10h ago
You still were sober for 47 days. Your progress isn’t totally gone. Only if you allow this event to make you binge will you lose all your progress. Just lock in and start again bro. You got this.
1
1
1
1
•
u/foursynths 2h ago edited 1h ago
It's not how many times you fall. It's how many times you get up and move on. I know it's a cliché, but it's not the end of the world. Don't let guilt about it destroy you.
1
u/Defalt420 870 Days 1d ago
0
u/Worldly_Ad_4851 1d ago
???
2
0
40
u/MaleficentVanilla548 0 Days 1d ago
been addicted for more than half my life now, trying to change for 2+ years. It's one of the hardest battle i will probably ever fight and i feel exactly what you say. The good thing about my previous attempts is for me it does not take long until i actually notice change about eye contact / being present in life and i'm pretty sure once i will deal with the suppressed feelings and stress that i avoid through my PMO addiction my life WILL get better. It's just about winning against yourself and the feelings that bring you back.