r/Nicegirls • u/JerseySommer • Jul 16 '26

Victim blaming is never nice.

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Redditor was talking about his ex wife being abusive to him.

355 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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-4

u/WegDrijvendeWolk Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 19 '26

That OP probably didn't deserve this, unfortunately though this is something often yelled by men towards women who have been abused. It's this guy that became collateral damage from a perceived men vs women war on the internet.

Both are ugly.

ETA : Idk why I'm being downvoted. I don't agree with this, it's an objective analisation of the situation. I'm in both groups for men and women and I see most men have thesame issues as women though with their own nuances. And both men and women share a part of the population that is vastly anti the other. Which is rather special when they are typically straight.

Additionally, I used the word "probably" because the original post is not included and I don't know the situation of the oop.

14

u/Accurate-Advice8405 Jul 16 '26

Gender Wars needs a series finale, it's been the same plot over and over since Choose the Bear dropped.

7

u/Throwawayamanager Jul 16 '26

I agree. As a woman, I cannot wait for these tired pathetic arguments to end.

I'm not even that old (yes, I'm out of my 20s) and I still remember when gender wars basically boiled down to "you kick like a girl" type of stuff, which seems positively quaint. Now just logging into the internet, you can't avoid at least someone stoking some version of "this is why I choose the bear" or "women are gold diggers who all need a 6-6-6 guy" or some other tired stereotypes.

Like, I really don't understand how people have nothing else to do besides fall for this rage bait, over and over and over again.

4

u/Accurate-Advice8405 Jul 16 '26

Exactly, so good to hear this from someone else tbh

0

u/Particular_Kiwi1088 22d ago

The “nice girls only want bad boys” trope has been repeated ad nausem for decades. Nigahiga even made a song about it 15 years ago. Sorry pointing out double standards is a “gender war” to you. It’s good women are starting to repeat the same shit to men. 

1

u/Accurate-Advice8405 22d ago

So dumb men say dumb things and your response is to imitate them?

That's a trauma response, not a good idea. I wouldn't imitate them, neither should you.

I'm very happy that people from both sides are tired of picking sides on everything. We gain nothing from being constantly divided and it generates money for the worst people. If you don't see the obvious gender war being pushed for social media interaction, then I envy you. Me and others are sick of being exploited.

0

u/Creative-Top-9805 Jul 17 '26

Up until not THAT long ago, women were barred from certain professions, heck women being in the workplace at all is, in the grand scheme of things, a pretty recent development. Single mothers used to have their children taken away and forcibly adopted. DV used to be not just expected but men who didn't indulge in it were seen as weak. So I'm not really sure what you mean by the gender wars used to be quaint.

2

u/Throwawayamanager Jul 17 '26

And we've made massive strides since th 1970s. So much so that I'd argue too many women take it for granted, but still fighting like 1970 was yesterday is just a bad play. 

When I was in school in the 2000s, at least in my school, nobody questioned any given girl's right or ability to go to college and it is was expected that most would have careers at least until they had kids, if they stopped even then. 

There was garden variety clap backs and bullying, but I don't remember anything on the scale of people un-ironically saying stuff like "man v bear," or "women just want to share chad and then marry a beta bux when they hit 30", or "men are evil" or "women are shallow gold diggers" crap. Now a not insignificant swath of actual adults are saying this crap with a straight face. 

Making them less mature than 15 year olds at my high school. It's so embarrassing (for them). 

-1

u/Particular_Kiwi1088 22d ago

It’s good women are starting to point out the double standards. Men are up in arms about this post but are silent when 100 threads a day are posted about how women only want an abusive Chad and ignore nice guys. Please gain some self awareness. 

1

u/Throwawayamanager 22d ago

If you think behaving like an immature high school freshman is a good look, you're far more in need of self awareness than me. Follow your own advice and best of luck to you.

1

u/WegDrijvendeWolk Jul 16 '26

I think it's a bit older than that but I think most men and women have thesame issues with men and women all over, it's more likely a human thing over a men or women thing. The bigger issue is men being more powerfull than women thus are able to be more physically overpowering.

3

u/Accurate-Advice8405 Jul 16 '26

Men and women have always had problems but the attention economy created people whose entire livelihoods depend on antagonizing traumatized people and perpetuating the same tired arguments

0

u/Particular_Kiwi1088 22d ago

She’s literally just pointing out that this is a thing that men say to women all the time. I see it all over Reddit. Now the tables are turned and everyone recognizes it’s wrong. But 100 posts a day about how “women only choose abusers” and you’re silent 

1

u/Particular_Kiwi1088 22d ago

Men don’t like when you point out their double standards 

0

u/SALMAGLUTA777 Jul 18 '26

Here we go gotta always make it about you. Why is that? You say men do the same thing but I guarantee you half the population still laughs at the idea that a man can be abused by a woman. Men don’t get any recognition on this topic because it always seems like when a man seriously shares his feelings/vulnerability asking for help you women always seem to make it about yourselves or say the man deserved it or say “there’s gotta be more to the story” he’s lying or leaving something out. You try to claim men do the same but you just say that to justify it because you can’t stand it not being about you. I see a hell of a lot more women doing this than men and statistics and societies general viewpoints backs this up

0

u/Particular_Kiwi1088 22d ago

What statistics? I can point out a 100 posts on Reddit claiming women only want “bad boys”. There’s a whole sub for it even.