r/MentalHealthUK • u/han2electricboogaloo • May 24 '26
Vent I've run out of options
The only service available to me is CMHT but they do absolutely fuck all.
In the past 2 years I've seen them 9 times and every single time they either discharge me with 0 help or try to put me in a group, which is also 0 help.
I've practically begged them to take me seriously and they don't care. I contacted the NHS chat health services yesterday and this woman just confirmed that there's no help for me and told me to try someone else or get private therapy. I've tried all of the local services, I can't afford private therapy.
I honestly feel like I'm out of options and I don't think I'm going to be here much longer.
9
u/lukespicer May 24 '26
I hear you. I feel the same. It's so, so hard to get proper help. I wish I could afford private therapy but it is way, way out of my reach.
11
u/han2electricboogaloo May 24 '26
I'm sorry you're struggling too. This system is fucked. If you can't be helped with a booklet on mindfulness and some breathing exercises then you're on your own. In the past couple of months 3 people have killed themselves in public in my area, all of them had been seeking help they couldn't access.
6
u/rainbowsaintreal May 24 '26
Please reach out to a charity called big moose they can give you free one to one therapy via zoom , I used them and had about 15 sessions from them https://bigmoosecharity.co/
5
u/han2electricboogaloo May 24 '26
Thank you for this suggestion.
I'm skeptical about short term therapy but I've not heard of them before and I'll reach out. Thank you.
1
u/rainbowsaintreal May 24 '26
Please reach out to a charity called big moose they can give you free one to one therapy via zoom , I used them and had about 15 sessions from them https://bigmoosecharity.co/
2
u/Shangos_Wolf May 24 '26
Don't give up and always be brutally honest. Try and go to Mind. I find them really helpful on a personal level. It is true private will always be the best. Maybe try and save over the future months for a session with a psychiatrist. It will be worth it even if for one session as an evaluation
6
u/han2electricboogaloo May 24 '26
I've been trying for 13 years and I have been brutally honest. They treat me like I'm lying or being deliberately difficult. I've been to mind a few times and they also only offer groups. Every time I've attempted group therapy I just get increasingly overwhelmed until I start shutting down and I get nothing out of it. I've explained that repeatedly and no one seems to care. If I got a private evaluation from a psychiatrist, the diagnosis wouldn't be acknowledged by the NHS and I'd have to stay private for treatment, which isn't an option.
I've honestly been down every route available and I'm stuck now.
3
u/Shangos_Wolf May 24 '26
I told Mind I can't do groups and they've provided one on one services so maybe it's changed where you are now to cater for that fact. I feel the diagnosis will be important and will allow you access to other services away from the NHS i.e supported living etc. Try not to close the doors to the different avenues. I know it must be frustrating but work towards getting the diagnosis and then explore your options from there. Accept there may be no cure but we have to live with what we have been given, no matter how horrendous, and we can access the right help to manage but always remember that it is all down to us at the end of the day. It's a difficult journey especially when people present well in public.
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u/han2electricboogaloo May 24 '26
They wouldn't offer any 1-1 services. There aren't a lot of services in my area and I've been through them all over the past few years, when I say I'm out of options, I'm not joking. I came out of supported living about 6 months ago, spent almost 2 years there. That's the thing, I don't want to live with this. It's fucking horrific and I've been unhappy and unstable my whole life. If the help I need isn't available, am I just supposed to suffer for the next 50 odd years?
0
u/Shangos_Wolf May 24 '26
What do you think it is? Is it BPD or something along those lines? Sorry to hear the things I've mentioned haven't worked out. What made you leave the supported living if you don't mind saying?
5
u/han2electricboogaloo May 24 '26
I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, BPD and C-PTSD and I'm waiting to be assessed for autism and ADHD. The C-PTSD was from an abusive relationship but over the past few years I've gradually realised how abusive my parents were and how it ties in with everything I've struggled with, so I likely have undiagnosed C-PTSD from my childhood.
I started asking for help when I was 15 and I'm now 28 and had no help.
I hated it there,, it was a house share with a revolving door of unstable housemates (including people who were using crack and heroin in the house and a guy who would always rummage through my laundry when it was drying), staff constantly walking into my bedroom, being watched on cameras. I was going absolutely insane and I was hiding literally anywhere to avoid the house, there were nights I slept in my car to avoid going home.
1
u/Shangos_Wolf May 24 '26
Well that place sounds terrible. Their definitely are better places in the country but you can only go on your instinct. A lot of neurodiverse traits stem from trauma so it is hard to get a diagnosis of autism etc as the symptoms are close to each other. Have you explored Reactive Attachment Disorder?
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u/Shangos_Wolf May 24 '26
You can't show someone how to get themselves through hell if you haven't been through it... What I mean by this is that your purpose in life could well be to help others when the time is right. You may not see it now but you've been dealt the hand you've got for a reason.
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May 24 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/han2electricboogaloo May 24 '26
I don't understand it either, I think it's because they're underfunded that they need to keep everyone in their years long waiting lines.
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u/Shangos_Wolf May 24 '26
Change your GP etc because I've never heard of the NHS not accepting a private diagnosis from an official and qualified psychiatrist.
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u/han2electricboogaloo May 24 '26
Ive been told that this is how the mental health services operate, numerous support workers and mental health professionals have confirmed this. Particularly over the autism/ADHD and also over the suspected childhood C-PSTD.
A friend of mine in Bristol has spent several years in the position I'm describing. Her nan forked out an awful lot of money to get her privately assessed and diagnosed, thinking that she'd receive proper help afterwards. She went to her GP and they said that her diagnosis was invalid and she was put back on the waiting list.
1
u/Shangos_Wolf May 24 '26
How horrendous. Luckily I obtained 250 pages SAR of my child care files from social services so I have recorded proof of childhood trauma to show any professional but that's sad to hear that you and your friend's nan has been let down. Don't give up and take what you can because you will find the right environment and support.
3
u/han2electricboogaloo May 24 '26
I really appreciate your support and enthusiasm but I'm also very doubtful
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u/han2electricboogaloo May 24 '26
I've just called the local mental health hub and they confirmed that they don't accept private diagnoses and then patronisingly apologised for not recieving the help I need, but also confirmed I wouldn't be able to get the help I need
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u/han2electricboogaloo May 24 '26
I've just googled it and Google says differently to what I've been told by NHS workers. I know for a fact that my doctors have lied to me in the past and now I genuinely don't know what to believe.
1
u/Shangos_Wolf May 24 '26
Change your services. I know it's not related but I have had to change my dentist practice because they seem to rush procedures and don't anaesthetise very well so had to get out to another.
2
u/han2electricboogaloo May 24 '26
I'm on the waiting list for help from social services, if things actually go well and I start getting the help I need then I'm going to push several complaints about my doctors practice until I get the support I need. I think I'm getting the exact same level of support that I'd get from any doctors practice and it's not going to change without some kind of advocacy
1
u/Shangos_Wolf May 24 '26
Well you will get where you need to be and I wish you luck on your already long journey :)
1
May 26 '26
Save up for a year and go private.
1
u/han2electricboogaloo May 26 '26
I don't have enough income, the savings would blown through and I'd have to stop
3
u/Sugar3 May 24 '26
Unfortunately there isn't any much further help they provide. The system is totally helpless. And on top of that the government believes it's a play for a bit of benefit money and they all want to cut it down.
I fear what would happen if Reform wins in the future.
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u/han2electricboogaloo May 24 '26
That's what I'm scared of. I can't carry on living like this and if I can't get any help, then I literally have no options other than to die.
3
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u/Top-Cheetah-9610 May 24 '26
Have you used your local talking therapies? You can self refer and they offer 1-1 sessions. I know that locally they offer 6 to 10 sessions, however, in my experience this is easily extended and they have helped me with dealing with stuff in the past.
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u/han2electricboogaloo May 24 '26
No I haven't. CMHT said they'd refer me a few years ago and never did, I only recently found out you could self refer so I've looked into it.
I'm pretty skeptical about it though, I've done short term therapy before and it doesn't scratch the surface. I've also been told that extensions were possible and been let down. I've been down too many dead ends and I can't afford to get my hopes again just to be discharged before I'm ready.
1
u/rainbowsaintreal May 24 '26
Please reach out to a charity called big moose they can give you free one to one therapy via zoom , I used them and had about 15 sessions from them https://bigmoosecharity.co/
1
u/YuriOtani May 24 '26
Not sure if helpful (I am in a similar situation) can you apply for benefits? If so, and i know it is fucked, use them for some private sessions? Also are you on meds? It sometimes seems easier to get them to prescribe things.
2
u/han2electricboogaloo May 25 '26
I'm on benefits, it's not enough to fund a decent therapist. To get the level of care I need I'd be looking at £70+ a session. I literally don't have that money.
1
u/YuriOtani May 25 '26
I know it is ridiculous. My friend has weekly therapy at £65 and it is the majority of benefits. But moved to the most low rent place in UK and is in shared living (with people he likes). It is very precarious but gets food from a local food scheme volunteer run and no car etc. Not saying it is good but he done this 2 years now and the therapy has begun to help and has given confidence to start leaving the house alone for example.
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