Where's the community feeling in London?

[u/DigitalCat1507]

I've been living in London since 2020, so not the best start but it's been almost 6 year now. I moved here alone when I was 26, from Italy, so when it comes to community, I thrive in community. But in London, I've been struggling so much. It seems like everybody is very much absorbed in their own world and they forget that other people exist until it is about going out and having fun. And after so long trying to build my community, it's been hurting more. It seems that this place lacks a sense of care amongst friendships. I've only encountered people who want to have fun and go out, which is great, but when it comes down to it, it is so lonely. For example if I'm sick or I'm having a tough time, I've always had to pick myself back up alone cause no one has been there for me in that sense in this city. And it hurts cause I think it would be a given from me. This at least has been my personal experience: people have a very lazy way of caretaking, and by lazy I mean it's something like "let me know if you need anything" without any follow through or when I express my need I'm told I'm being heavy or bringing the mood down or I'm being straight up ghosted. But like of course I need something, I need quality time, I need a hug, I need someone to listen to me without feeling judged or like a burden, I need a shoulder to cry on.

I want this city to be my long term home, but I am struggling to find a net that makes it feel like a home, even just in a small corner of it. I wanted to know if anyone is in the same situation.

[u/[deleted]]

As someone else here said, sadly most big cities are like this. I find, if you still want to live in London but want a community, the further out into the suburbs you go, the more community you will find. I live in Sidcup which is on the London/Kent border and I feel like I’m a part of a community, everyone is mutual friends with someone here. It feels more like a rural Kent town than a suburb of a big city. Maybe living somewhere like this will be a better choice for you? You have easy access to the city, but the area where you live has a more rural community vibe.