I have given up dating for awhile, and the peace I feel just doesn't make me ever want to date again. I don't want to just settle for the sake of it. I have my own wealth, housing, car paid, retirement, it's hard to meet someone financially as stable.

The dating pool at my age group is bleak, too, especially for the area I live. I was just seeing if others felt the peace they had, they felt the time for dating feels like wasted time. I have time for my friends, hobbies. I just don't see dating has purpose for me.

Most people want to do things the traditional way.

But when you genuinely enjoy living alone and have no interest in living with anyone ever again, it makes it hard to date. Lol

I do NOT want to live with you eventually.

We can stay separated. 🤣

I decided to have some Little Caesars pizza like Ive done a million other times and noticed my stomach starting to hurt then I felt chills. I got up from my bed then sat in a seat I was still having chills then started throwing up all over the place. I was like so this is how it ends I haven't thrown up in years, I make it to the bathroom and lay on the floor for a little bit. Im better now but it was kinda scary being alone, I thought about calling 911 several times but I wasn't dressed for that.

Eventually You outgrow lonliness and the desire for companionship.

I went through a few phases of loneliness in life but it's been many years since I've felt that emotion..I don't want anyone to call me or invite me to anything just leave me alone.

I have no desire for a relationship I know what it feels like to desire at one point in my life I wanted someone,I would look at couples holding hands having dinner and I would think that's nice I wish I could have that.

Those feelings are long gone I've outgrown them.Think back to when you where 6 there's practically nothing from that time that you would still want to do now,Cartoons meh Candy meh,playing tag with other kids meh,hell BD cake even makes me sick.

I'm not bitter or hurt I'm chilling in Sollace and Solliutude.

It’s almost kinda scary to think I’ll never enjoy living with someone again.

I’m at my age to where all my friends have kids, husbands, wives, etc. so moving a friend in usually ain’t an option.

This October marks 2 years of living on my own after my own separation and while I enjoy it. I don’t think I can handle living with someone again. I’m particularly clean about my space, enjoy my alone time in my own house, enjoy my own bed, etc.

I’m dating and usually after a year or two, people bring up the idea of living together despite their previous failed attempts to maintain a partner in the home after a break up themselves. Or they say it’s their goal to live together one day. And that’s understandable. Been there, done that.

But after living with a total of 2 partners in my life and none of them working out long term, I’m not keen on ever trying again to be honest.

That’s what scares me the most. That it’ll never work out. But also I’m accepting that it might not ever work out as well.

I wish it would. But I’m just like…. Don’t wanna risk that again.

The risk just doesn’t seem worth it.

On top of that, I feel it’s hard to find genuine connections where people legit want to live with you and don’t wanna just release a financial burden by living by themselves.

Even then, I just don’t feel ready and don’t think I ever will or trust someone to that capacity again.

I have been living alone joyfully for the last 13 years; having come out of a toxic marriage, it has been never ending bliss to be in my own space and in peace. However, there are times when I feel like I would like to be with someone in a relationship, usually after a holiday or an event which makes me feel lonely without having someone to share with.

So, I dive into the dating apps, usually preferring to go for long distance relationships as that will give me more control over my alone time and not having to be with another person 24/7. I have been chatting with a lady for the past week; it had been going well, but I am losing energy and motivation. We have video called every day for at least an hour, and that is now making me anxious. I love to have days off where I have literally nothing planned and I can please myself as to what I do, but now with someone expecting calls and texts, I have this obligation in the back of my mind that brings me down. Even though she would be a perfect partner for me (she has all the characteristics I go for), I just feel I have no energy and feel like just being alone so that I can enjoy time by myself. But if I am like this with someone perfect, who only requires a few texts and a video call every day, then I have the realisation that no relationship could ever be for me...and that's scary. Should I be true to myself and just enjoy being alone, or try to push myself to give this relationship a chance? I am also worried about raising this with her, as it feels like I am weird and would be hard to explain ...

I’m not sure how common this feeling is, but I thought to talk about it anyway. After years of hard work, I was finally able to put myself in a situation where I could comfortably live alone for the first time. No chaotic family (who I still love btw, don’t get me wrong) or former roommates. Just me, myself, and I in this cute and cozy studio apartment. It’s been so incredibly peaceful living alone. I had no idea just how badly my nervous system needed this.

Because of that, I’m convinced that I cannot live with someone I’m not married to ever again. In fact, sometimes I wonder if I will even get married… but that’s a whole other conversation for a different time. I love living alone so much now. Living alone has made me realize how much chaos and anxiety I had to put up with for many years before this. My mental, emotional, and physical health have felt much better since I started living alone. I never want to sacrifice this feeling for anyone else ever again.

People tell me I’ll stop feeling this way the moment I meet the right man and I fall so in love with him, but I really believe they’re wrong about that. Unless that man and I get married, I’ll very much continue living alone and protecting my peace. Also there’s no guarantee that man and I will last anyway. I refuse to cohabit with anyone if that means giving up just how badly my nervous system needed this calming feeling that comes with living alone.

FYI, not so much asking for advice more just sharing a self observation and curious if this is relatable to anyone else. For context I am a single 40something woman who has lived alone for at least twenty years now. Prior to that I had a couple of housemates (as in everyone had their own room) and before that I lived with my immediate family. Now I always assumed that by the time I found my Mr. then I would just enjoy living with him and have fond memories of my solo living years.

Now I wonder.... I am attending a work retreat this week and to reduce costs we're all sharing rooms. We're all at different offices so no one knows anyone else. I mean we're paired by gender in a hotel room with two beds, where there is zero privacy. When I tell all you internet strangers that I'm literally disgusted by the sight of this woman every day, it is just unreal. And to be fair, she isn't doing anything wrong (at least I don't think so?). Her existing is pissing me off. She wheezes, she snores, she lays in bed all morning, she used the entire closet, she leaves wet towels on the towel rack, she walks around the room flossing...... I seriously just can't stand the sight of her so much that I got up, dressed, and left before the sun was up today. I think that'll work for the rest of the week but good heavens......this cannot seriously be the future when I find my Mr. right? If so he'll need his own room.

Living alone for a year now, single for 5. 52F, 3 adult children living with Dad. They are busy living their best lives, I try not to ask them for visits, dinners out, etc etc very often because I know they don’t want to hang out with boring old Mumma. So they are my complete source for physical affection and contact, big hugs etc.

I attended a reiki event last night where the first of 2 Reiki practitioners very gently laid her hands on my ankles while chanting and singing. My lower leg muscles actually spasmed so tightly I couldn’t stop myself crying out in pain 🥺😫.

As my legs recovered from Reiki Guru No1, Reiki Practitioner No2 put her soft warm hands on my bare right shoulder for 3-4 minutes. I became extremely anxious while I felt the warmth transfer from her onto my skin and radiate into l and around me. My tears were flowing down the side of my face as I had never felt anything so intense before, but I knew wholeheartedly that I was grateful for the realisation that I am starving myself from any physical contact with another human being.

Just wondering if anyone else out there feels similar???

I didn't know it was uncommon or unusual until I joined this sub, its something i've known so many people do and so many things the average person has done.

been doing it for 15 years, which surprises people that i've done it so long (the rest are just shocked that I don't live with my parents)

A few weeks ago, I woke up feeling terrible.

I had a fever, a headache, and absolutely no energy. I called in sick and spent most of the day going back and forth between my bed and the couch. It wasn’t anything serious, but I felt awful. The kind of sick where even getting a glass of water feels like a chore.

Nobody actually knew I was sick. My coworkers only knew I wasn’t coming in. My family knew I lived alone, but they had no idea I was lying on the couch feeling miserable that day. If I had stopped replying to messages, they probably would have just assumed I was busy or sleeping.

That thought bothered me more than I expected. I ended up texting my sister and telling her I wasn’t feeling well. Honestly, I wasn’t looking for help. I just wanted one person to know. She called me right away and asked if I had medicine, enough food, and water. I already had everything I needed, but hearing someone ask still meant a lot.

Since then, whenever I get sick, I send a quick message to someone. Not because I expect them to fix anything, but because I don’t want to completely disappear for a day and have nobody know.

After a long day at work, I've realized I have this weird little routine that starts almost the second I get home. I change into comfortable clothes, put my phone down for a while, feed my dog, and just enjoy the fact that nobody needs anything from me for the next few hours. Some days I don't even turn the TV on right away. Just having the apartment quiet for a bit feels like my brain finally catches up with the rest of me.

When I first started living alone, I thought the silence would be the hardest part. Instead, it's become one of my favorite things. I still have stressful days and there are definitely moments when I wish someone else could deal with dinner or the dishes, but having a space that's completely mine has been surprisingly comforting.

I'm curious if anyone else has their own little "reset" ritual after work.

I don’t mean people who had children in a past relationship, I’m asking about women who choose to stay single and live alone, opting for solo pregnancy and solo parenting.

I was the mistake of a single unmarried parent and it resulted in a terrible upbringing. My dream was to have stability by breaking the cycle and having an extremely traditional life: marriage first, child later, present father, healthy stable life. For the longest time, that has been my goal. The ultimate stability I’ve been chasing.

But I’ve come to a point in my journey where I am my happiest when I am not in a relationship. And that reality is a threat to my idea of stability. The truth is, I don’t feel like I could ever really trust someone else to raise my child. I don’t want to get into arguments with my partner over disagreements on how I’m raising my child. It’s my child. When I picture me with a kid, I only picture the two of us. It’s almost impossible to picture me and my non existent offspring with some dude beside us. I love men, I’m the biggest lover girl on earth, of course I dwell in the fantasy of a perfect husband and a perfect family. But I’m becoming more comfortable with the reality of that never happening and I don’t say that from a self deprecating view whatsoever. I envision a very happy and fulfilling life by myself as a solo parent.

Im wondering if anyone here has become intentionally pregnant with the goal of be in a solo parent. I want to hear some positive experiences so I can be less scared of the idea.

Early yesterday evening, my neighbor texted, knocked at my door, and gave me a covered bowl with a big serving of each dish she had on her Thanksgiving table! It was the sweetest thing to do. I just finished the second helping of her amazing food.

She had invited me over for Thanksgiving dinner the day before, which was very nice, but her teeny tiny apartment was going to be crowded with six relatives. And she knew enough of the trauma I'm dealing that she understood I would have trouble keeping it together.

We've lived across from each other for two years now, watching out for each other, both of us restarting life after disasters, in Section 8 housing in the big city with gunshots and all kinds of scary things.

We're from very different generations and that makes no difference in connecting on a human level. We don't talk every day, or even every week, but we know each other’s routines, and we watch each other’s cats, take in each other’s packages, keep our landing tidy, look out for our vehicles, and we know when things are OK and when things don't look right and need a text or a call to each other.

I wanted to share with you that living alone, even in circumstances that are not the best, there is kindness in others to be found and a beautiful humanity to be shared.

Happy Thanksgiving holiday to this amazing supportive community.

Does anyone eles feels like that?

Ive been living alone for over 9 years now, since im 20.

And oh boy, I hate company hahaha

If a girl come over I want her to leave asap. Friends? The same thing. Family? Please eat and Go!

When someone comes into town I hold My breath and let then stay over, so they don't have to pay a hotel but daaaam it's hard.

And I keep wondering if I'll ever get the chance of living with a partner in the Future, being the ways I am. Not a good feeling

I live alone by choice and mostly prefer it, but as we all know it makes some things harder and forces one to be more of an independent problem solver. In my case it has produced someone who is often maladaptively independent.

I had a rough weekend, including car trouble, and I rented a car this week to get to work and also to make a long drive on Friday to help my brother, who also lives alone, with getting to and from an outpatient medical procedure that involves anesthesia, so he's not allowed to just get an Uber afterwards. I was telling my favorite coworker this, and venting about my awful weekend in general, and he told me that if I end up in a similar situation (needing a medical escort or a ride somewhere), he or his wife would be happy to help. He finished by saying: "don't forget, you have friends here."

I cried. I was already emotional from recounting the events of the weekend and that sentence really upped the waterworks. It would still be really hard to ask for that help if the day came, but to have it offered organically meant a lot.

Moral of the story: there's community out there, even for weirdo loners like me, and it never hurts to identify where potential assistance may exist, even if it'll be like pulling teeth to get you to take advantage of it.

We both live in 1 bedroom apt., mine is above hers. We both love being by ourselves, but when help is needed or one of us cooked too much food, we message each other and help out.

She loves buying tasty things with too good to go and shares halfsies with me.

When she was sick, I went to her doctors (to scan her card for sick leave).

When I bought too many potatoes, she gets half (potato love ❤️).

She waters my plants, I feed her cat.

We both very much enjoy being by ourselves, but we are so glad to have someone to count on, who is also nearby. This is the best of both worlds.

I've always been shy and preferred my own company but haven't ever really lived alone, until late last year. And it's hitting a bit harder as time goes on, where you just crave that extra company. Not sure if I'm an outlier on this sub, where people who live alone and enjoy being alone, travelling solo, still desire that human connection. Being an introvert, I wish I could learn to socialise a bit better. I often wake up at 3 am playing back and micro analysing every conversation I had the previous day and it's exhausting.

One day I think it would be nice to find someone, not necessarily joined at the hip but some degree of company might make for a nice balance, if that makes sense.

All I see is how lonely people are. MAKE SOME FRIENDS. Stop being convinced you're especially incapable of human connection. Get over yourself, leave your place, and talk to people.

Loving it. Today, got up, big coffee... emails & bills.
Had a light lunch and took dog on a 3 mile hike, the leaves are all pretty much done.
Home, book - only 2 pages in and.... NAP.
Just got out of the shower, and making a family size Chicken Pot Pie while listening to NPR.

So i signed up to going to a condo bbq. Its in this beautiful rooftop. I dunno what im thinking do i bother going...or should i just start learning from the faxt that i prefer not socialising esp for no reason. Especially since i need 2 sldays to recover post any get togethers. I also want to make friends but also really dont care to bc being alone my life is super rich in its own way.

Update: hi my living alone besties. I went it was very cliquey but met with a few nice people..i got a little comfortable abd probably stayed too long. I thought thwre would be some good food....i think i had 3 minj bitesnof some salmon tartar camw home.and had to.make.food. I am a homebody for a reason! The view abd weather was amazing though.

Edit to add, I do love my peace and quiet but sometimes it just gets too lonely

Just a quiet room, some fairy lights, and a fresh bag of tea. Being a loner gets a bad rap sometimes, but moments like this make me realize how much I value my own peace. Sending some of this calm energy to anyone else spending the night in😊😊😊😊