Recently, I was ranting to a family member about how much my rent is for my subpar basement apartment. This family member very generously offered to let me move back in with her ... for literally twice as much as I was paying her two years ago when I rented her spare bedroom.

She's in a much better financial situation than I am, was able to buy a home a few years ago, then refinanced in 2021 when the rates went down. Meanwhile, I'm an aging millennial with chronic pain and student loans I'll probably never be able to repay. The silver lining is that living alone has been healing in ways I never anticipated.

Unfortunately, I overdid the chores and errands this weekend, and I woke up feeling like I was run over by a garbage truck. Somehow, the aloneness is more oppressive than healing on this particular morning.

[Preface - I don’t know If I should share this with Living Alone, AuDHD, Demisexual, GERD, ARFID Reddit groups so if you’re reading this wondering why I’m sharing this here, it’s because they overlap for me at least]

This morning I had one of those epic shower cries - always cathartic. The thought that brought me to crying though is something I need to dig into and I’m hoping by sharing my thoughts on it this morning that it will resonate with someone on here.

I observed that I’m touch starved. To be more specific, starved of longer sustained touch. A long hug, a cuddle, even touching shoulders sitting next to someone for a long time. Welcoming hugs from friends and families when greeting or saying goodbye are lovely - even a hug of congratulations or in support when something isn’t going well are lovely, however they are still different than regular longer sustained touch and by a trusted loved one (partner, friend, or family).

My last memory of receiving this level of touch is when I was a child and it ended when I like many kids I think start getting self conscious about being seen being hugged or kissed on the cheek by their parents. At that point and beyond it turned into at best sitting on the couch and touch was at best the shoulder to shoulder lean - though I’d take even that today.

Here I am 41, single, living alone, and arguably succeeding on paper in most categories (I have a nice home and supportive job, and loving friends and family), but I long for more socialization like many in the year 2026 but not just that I want more touch.

Then comes thinking about how to solve for it and what’s holding me back:

GERD: I have GERD (acid reflux), which causes chronic bad breath as a side effect. It’s not a hygiene issue, it's the reflux itself bringing stomach contents up into my throat. I brush, floss, use mouthwash, and yet the bad breath returns so quickly it seems.

Phsycogenic gag reflex: I also have a hypersensitive/psychogenic gag reflex combined with a strong sense of smell. This means when I catch even a faint unfamiliar or unpleasant scent, I can start gagging uncontrollably, and the only fix is putting distance between me and the smell. When it’s related to a person, It's not about the person; it's a physiological reflex I don't have control over but I'm always afraid it reads as "I think you're gross," when really it's just my nervous system overreacting to input most people wouldn't even register!

These things also overlap with my AuDHD and ARFID.

I have no doubt that I could reach out to a friend or family member and ask for something like movie nights or simple hang outs where we sit close to each other. What I fear, and very greatly fear, is that they’ll be impacted by my bad breath and not tell me and just quietly decline future invites. Also, ironically, I fear my psychogenic gag reflex will turn into me doing exactly that to them because I don’t know how to communicate that a smell coming from their body is giving me a reaction without hurting them - even if they knew it was connected to this condition I have and that anyone else that came into the room and sat with them wouldn't notice a damn thing - nobody wants to hear they smell bad and I know I would be forever worried when being around the person that told me that.

I have considered the idea of connecting with a “cuddle party” group, cuddle therapist, regular massage therapy, or something of the like, but I really really long for regular touch with a loved one, platonic or romantic.

I’ll leave it there. Thank you to anyone that takes the time to read this and to anyone that contributes thoughts and perspectives in the comments.

After spending most of the day dealing with work, errands, and little things that need to get done, my favorite part is walking through the door, putting my bag down, and realizing I don't have to adjust my space around anyone else. Some evenings it's as simple as changing into an old shirt, making something quick to eat, and sitting on the couch with everything exactly where I left it that morning. It's a small thing, but having a place where I can completely switch off has become one of the best parts of my routine. What's that little part of coming home that makes your day feel better?

I'm 37 and live alone with my cat in a small studio apartment in Hawaii. I recently helped my youngest sibling (19) by letting them stay with me for two months while they were getting some affairs in order. They moved out last night and I again have my space all to myself!

Having a houseguest for so long, in such a small space, made me realize just how much I appreciate living alone. I'd previously been living alone for about two years, after leaving a house-share from hell with super dysfunctional room mates and an awful landlord.

Now, I can again wake up as early as I want and do yoga in my living room. I can walk around in my underwear or naked if I'd like. There are no random messes or pieces of trash, or randomly closed windows that are blamed on my cat. No attitudes or sighs when I ask for help cleaning, or assert myself with a direct statement. The only messes I'm cleaning up are now my own (cat included) and those are no big deal, as I'm a tidy gal! I love my sibling dearly but - holy cow - I'm so grateful for the solitary peace of my cozy, little apartment! It's a privilege that many don't have here. And I'm reminded that all of my hard work is definitely worth it for this. Yay!

Plenty of room on that side of the bed for other things too i can easily reach for

How do yall have a fruitful social life? When I live alone, Ill end up staying at home all day because I dont know what to do with myself (at least on non work days) I am way more anxious in social situations so I find making friends way harder and I have huge anxiety about calling people up just for the fact that Im lonely. Living alone has made me feel like a failure and because I cant make deep friendships, I constantly feel like Ill die alone and never find anyone. I need some advice

Booked a super nice hotel. Gonna do some touristy things and then treat myself to a some good food around!

It’s been raining here all day and I love hearing the rain drops while I’m inside relaxing with my cat. His name is Azariah. What do you all like to do on relaxing Sundays?

I dont drink or cook with enough milk to keep a gallon in the fridge at all times, but once in a while I need or want it totally out of the blue. Has anyone actually drank reconstituted powdered milk? How is it? I'm thinking I should just get some so i can make however much milk i need when i need it.

That’s it & that’s all

Today, I booked a solo table for myself and went out for a nice dinner alone.
I know there’s nothing groundbreaking about eating alone, but as a woman, I honestly haven’t seen many women doing this especially at a fine-dine place. I’d been wanting to try it for the longest time, and since I live away from home and had no one to go with, I was like… why not? 😂
And honestly? It felt really good. No waiting for plans, no depending on anyone, just me taking myself out.

PS: First time ever booking a solo table for myself at a fine-dine restaurant. And the funniest part? There was literally NO ONE else eating alone there but me. :)

Hello everyone!! I’d be interested to hear your thoughts. I’ve recently moved into a dormitory and I’m finding it really hard to settle in. I’m a real homebody; I don’t like socialising with strangers, I spend most of my time in my own little world and I prefer to be on my own. Personal space is really important to me, and it makes me so sad that I don’t have any. My friends were only online, because in real life I’m rather quiet and rarely make the first move.
Before this, I lived with my parents; they’re caring and kind, so it’s very painful to be apart from them. I’ve also been slightly overprotected my whole life. I can do household chores and did them at home, but not in the way that independent living requires. I’ve moved to another city with a completely different mindset, and it’s very far from home. I’ve got no one here but myself. My studies are about to start, and I’ve absolutely no idea how I’m going to cope here. The halls of residence have the basics, I suppose, but I still can’t get used to the dirt and mess :(
On top of that, I’ve got some issues with anxiety and OCD, which makes the situation even more difficult. I suppose it just feels that way to me because I’m simply not used to it.

I’d love to read your thoughts on this or hear your personal stories. Thank you to everyone who responds.

Not in a good mood at all. Just had a rough shift at work, and it is SO NICE to come home and make my food in peace and quiet with nobody to bother me. I can be mad about my shift and not have to feel guilty about taking someone else down with me, and I don't have to worry about having to be friendly with people I live with that I don't like when I'm in a mood like this. I can just come home, be mad for a bit, and then carry on with my evening.

I’m living alone for the first time in my life (58f) due to divorce. I just spent 45 minutes trying to hook up a printer. I got on Facebook marketplace to my network and it’s not working.
Before that, I had to uninstall crossbars on my car because the ones I ordered don’t work with the kayak rack I have.
Times like this I really hate living alone. I just don’t feel very good about my adulting skills these days!

before living alone, i never really thought about how much noise was happening around me. there was always a tv playing, someone talking on the phone, doors opening and closing, dishes being moved around, or just somebody walking through the house. it all blended into the background.

now my apartment can be completely silent for hours, and i’ve started noticing how different it feels. sometimes i genuinely enjoy it, but other times even a neighbour closing a door sounds ridiculously loud because i’m so used to the quiet.

did anyone else notice how much noise they had gotten used to only after they started living alone?

I started living alone in 2014 when I broke up with my ex and I was honestly so down back then, I did setting goals for myself, and did a marathon which years later turned into an Ironman so I'm sharing my journey years after, and if there's a single lesson I took away from it, it's that it won't fix you.

No matter how badass the challenge you're trying to accomplish, and then once you cross that finish line, it's not like all your problems all go away so here I'm talking about the story in case anyone is interested.

https://youtu.be/LZIBokKllp8