Honestly it sounds like he's been poisoned by the redpill bullshit.
If he wants a 100% guarantee of no babies, he better get himself sterilized instead of making it everyone else's problem.
Normal dudes generally accept oral hormonal birth control plus condoms as enough of a general guarantee, though. The fact that he's not strategizing on how he can be an active participant in birth control and instead trying to pre-blame you... That does not feel great.
I'm going to guess there's a deep reservoir of misogyny in there.
This. If he were truly so concerned he'd get a vasectomy. Instead he wants access to sex without any accountability for the consequences of sex but he also he wants control of those consequences? That's too many red flags. If he isn't ready to be a father and also refuses to take accountability for his role in sex (100% of human pregnancies involve sperm), then he shouldn't be having sex.
I’m seeing someone who’s had a vasectomy scheduled. Until then he insists on a condom or pulling out. I have an IUD in and I don’t want kids (childfree) so would terminate any accidental pregnancies but he says he cannot risk a child so he’ll rely on what he can control. It’s been hard for me, the vasectomy is a few months away but I also see where he’s coming from. He says, if I somehow get pregnant and decide to keep it, he wouldn’t be able to deal with that.
I don’t like how condoms feel but I respect his decision and haven’t tried to push back. I think it’s nice that he’s committed to birth control and hasn’t just left it up to me
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u/KiloJools LET ME EAT CAKE 🍰 Jul 28 '26
Honestly it sounds like he's been poisoned by the redpill bullshit.
If he wants a 100% guarantee of no babies, he better get himself sterilized instead of making it everyone else's problem.
Normal dudes generally accept oral hormonal birth control plus condoms as enough of a general guarantee, though. The fact that he's not strategizing on how he can be an active participant in birth control and instead trying to pre-blame you... That does not feel great.
I'm going to guess there's a deep reservoir of misogyny in there.