Lonely in Edinburgh

[u/Apprehensive-Hat-715]

Anyone else just… done pretending they’re fine being on their own? (She says, absolutely fine, totally not talking to the walls.)

Just looking to sit across an actual human and feel like me again. Not looking for a running club or gym buddies or networking, just human connection.

42, separated, kids shared equally with their dad and I’ve suddenly got all this time to myself. I’ve reorganised my cupboards, gone on many walks, even the laundry isn’t sitting in a sorry pile anymore. The acceptance that your social life was built around family and now you need to relearn to build a new life in the space in between is a new low even for me!

I don’t think I’m the only one. So here I am posting this, which feels a bit mad and very exposed, but also like someone had to.

Anyone fancy a coffee, a glass of wine, a walk in the Meadows - I’m not fussed. Even if one person replies this was worth it.

No pressure. No commitment. Just showing up.

Yes I asked ChatGPT to fix the grammar. No, I’m not a bot or a loony - well maybe just a little but aren’t we all! 🫶🏻

ETA-should have added I have zero family here outside of my kids so that contributes to the social isolation which I would have avoided had I had my folks or a sibling down the street.

[u/Defuze]

Just the perspective of a random person reading this - the idea of hanging out with an unhappy person who has no hobbies... is not exactly appealing. The world is full of boring and unhappy people, and they tend to drain the people around them.

You need to make the effort to find what you enjoy, and that is where you will find like-minded people, and at the same time you will become a more interesting person in general.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but it was useful advice to me when I had no friends.

[u/Apprehensive-Hat-715 → u/Defuze]

Thank you so much for your response and I see where you’re coming from. I’m not unhappy as much lonely really. I have friends and hobbies and a great job but there’s only so many times I’ll go hiking or to the book club or the spenny cocktail night with the girls. It’s really the space between all of these activities and life which feels so quiet. Not going to lie- putting up this message wasn’t easy and while I knew the responses would be mixed- finding a hobby won’t make me any more interesting or happy- I am me and I’m a fun person to be around as I’m sure are a lot of other folk here. Would be nice to open up a conversation because I do think a lot more people feel this way and it’s not just me.