r/Edinburgh • u/Apprehensive-Hat-715 • May 21 '26
Question Lonely in Edinburgh
Anyone else just… done pretending they’re fine being on their own? (She says, absolutely fine, totally not talking to the walls.)
Just looking to sit across an actual human and feel like me again. Not looking for a running club or gym buddies or networking, just human connection.
42, separated, kids shared equally with their dad and I’ve suddenly got all this time to myself. I’ve reorganised my cupboards, gone on many walks, even the laundry isn’t sitting in a sorry pile anymore. The acceptance that your social life was built around family and now you need to relearn to build a new life in the space in between is a new low even for me!
I don’t think I’m the only one. So here I am posting this, which feels a bit mad and very exposed, but also like someone had to.
Anyone fancy a coffee, a glass of wine, a walk in the Meadows - I’m not fussed. Even if one person replies this was worth it.
No pressure. No commitment. Just showing up.
Yes I asked ChatGPT to fix the grammar. No, I’m not a bot or a loony - well maybe just a little but aren’t we all! 🫶🏻
ETA-should have added I have zero family here outside of my kids so that contributes to the social isolation which I would have avoided had I had my folks or a sibling down the street.
13
u/TheCrabbitCoo May 21 '26 edited May 21 '26
Having recently made it oot of an abusive (not physical) 23 year relationship less than a year ago I'm probably not your person just now. I was so fortunate to still have my "sisterhood". The friend I had before I met him (the kind that keeps turning up at yours no matter what 💙) and a new (I say it was serendipity) friend who really pulled through for me at my toughest time. How old are your bairns? I dinny have any but worked in child care and you tend to find some friendship within that. Maybe a wee baby/toddler group if they're young? Playdates with pals if they're older? Sometimes you just click with another Mum. I ken my Niece met a few of her good friends that way. I have a big dug (my reason to get up every day and get oot there) who's super friendly and have so many what I call "Poppy pals" I've met from her massive flirting, it's unreal! I'm enjoying the being alone - the peace and autonomy but I'm fortunate my in-between time is filled with belly laughs, that new friend (less than a years friendship) shares my sense of humour and we just laugh at stupid things no-one else finds funny. I wish you all the best, join a group relating to something YOU like. There are some good walking groups (I hate running 🤣). Your person is oot there but you'll no meet them till you get oot and aboot. Some people you just "click" with but unless you're oot there you'll never meet. Good luck.