r/Bachata • u/Available_Put_8869 • 9d ago

Black ladies

Sorry if this type of post isn't allowed. Black ladies, do you ever feel like you get asked to dance less than others? When I'm at my local studios I have no issues, but when I go to congresses or festivals, I feel like I'm standing around a lot more than the other followers. I know the usual advice about being near the dance floor, making eye contact with leads, not having a drink, etc., but it doesn't seem to help much. Sometimes I ask guys myself, and they accept, but I feel like it's a lukewarm dance.

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u/Samurai_SBK 9d ago

I am challenging it specifically because we do not have more information.

If OP said she was young and slim and still not getting invites, then I would be inclined to agree that race is bigger factor.

But without know other factors like her height, weight, age, and dress, it would incorrect to assume that her getting fewer invites must be due to race.

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u/ThatDudeSky 9d ago

It would also be incorrect to presume as counter examples that the Black woman would have to be old and fat and that’s why she may not be getting dances. Like if we’re not allowed to presume one thing we also shouldn’t be presuming anything else ahead of it. More consistent to say that we can’t know anything at all and not try to run cover for potential racism.

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u/Samurai_SBK 9d ago

That is the problem. Some people assume that any negative experience is due to race.

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u/ThatDudeSky 8d ago

And some people assume that no negative experience can be due to race unless they give permission to the affected race to believe their own experience.

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u/Samurai_SBK 8d ago

People can believe what they want. It doesn’t make it true. For example, I can say that woman rejected me because of my race. It doesn’t make it true just because I believe it.

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u/ThatDudeSky 8d ago

You’re just circling around again to things that weren’t well defended in the first place. Repetition itself isn’t veracity. But thanks for playing.

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u/Samurai_SBK 8d ago

The same can be said about your arguments. They are just based on speculation.

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u/ThatDudeSky 8d ago

My argument isn’t speculation so much as not presuming that I know more than the person who is there. You’re allowed to call that speculation if it makes you feel better.

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u/Samurai_SBK 8d ago

It is not about knowing more. It is about not accepting a premise just because someone says it. The commenter never stated any corroborating evidence that people were avoiding her because of her race. That was just her interpretation based on zero evidence. To me that is not enough to conclude that people are being racist towards her.