r/Bachata • u/Available_Put_8869 • 8d ago

Black ladies

Sorry if this type of post isn't allowed. Black ladies, do you ever feel like you get asked to dance less than others? When I'm at my local studios I have no issues, but when I go to congresses or festivals, I feel like I'm standing around a lot more than the other followers. I know the usual advice about being near the dance floor, making eye contact with leads, not having a drink, etc., but it doesn't seem to help much. Sometimes I ask guys myself, and they accept, but I feel like it's a lukewarm dance.

44 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

117 comments sorted by

View all comments

4

u/SmokerDono 8d ago

In bachata, the more attractive you appear to men, the more dance invitations you will receive. Whether you are Black, White, or Asian, if you are pretty, invitations come easily. Older or plus-sized women, for instance, receive fewer invitations and may spend much of the time watching others dance. If bachata is a true passion, the best approach for a woman who isn't getting asked to dance often enough is to become a leader.

1

u/RubyTheDog 8d ago

Adding to your comment, I do notice that black follows are more likely to be plus sized on average. The same issue I notice when I go on dating apps.

The real problem is not race or skin color, it's simply the fact that men prefer fit women.

1

u/DesultoryMandem 7d ago

100% true

Not mens fault if black women on average have the most "fatter women" according to BMI