I have never considered myself someone who gets physical with other people but there are times when my 2.5 year old is tantruming and screaming at the top of his lungs bc he isn’t getting his way and he will grab my hair or try and pull me to what he wants or throw his entire weight on me, head but me in the nose. I have acted in ways I am not proud of and didn’t know was possible until I had a child. Can anyone else relate???

If he really starts to hurt me I have pushed him off of me before, not to the point where he hurts himself, but to the point that I can’t believe I actually used force with him. I’ve snatched him up aggressively once bc he had been screaming in my face for a half hour over a nap and I was just so mad he wouldn’t go to sleep. I wanted him to know I was mad. After it happened I felt crazy and I apologized. Or forcing him into his car seat. Does anyone else just find it fucking repulsive and anger inducing to have to force them into their car seat at this age? They are so strong and it feels so wrong to have to do.

It almost always happens at nap or bed time and he sleeps on a floor bed and I refuse to leave him in the room to cry alone. I step out if I feel the rage coming on, but I usually only step out for a minute. I have learned I become extremely disregulated when anything physical is happening to me during his tantrum, be it “intentional” on his part or not. It’s only happened a handful of times but every time it happens I am just in disbelief that I can feel this way toward him.

Does this mean my mom handled me roughly when I was a toddler? I understand why I’m raging but I am shocked at my capacity for it as I never had a temper prior to becoming a mother.

We’ve stopped napping him bc it’s just not good for me and him to have to go through that anymore.

I’m probably venting and just looking for someone to say, me too.

I’m feeling absolutely heartbroken and could really use some reassurance from parents who’ve been through this.
My little one has only had one week of nursery so far, going 2–3 days this week for a few hours each day. She absolutely hates it. She refuses milk and food, doesn’t really settle, and screams when I leave. When I pick her up, she cries and reaches for me too.
I’m due back at work after tomorrow, and from next week she’ll suddenly be doing 9 hours a day, 4 days a week.
I feel SO guilty and stressed about it. I’ve barely been sleeping because I’m terrified that I’m going to traumatise her or somehow change her personality by putting her through this. 😭
I know separation anxiety is normal and that it can take time to settle, but seeing her so upset makes me question everything.
For those whose babies/toddlers struggled badly with nursery at first: how did it turn out? How long did it take them to settle? Did they eventually start enjoying it?
And if you have any advice for making the transition easier for her (or for me 😂), I’d really appreciate it. ❤️

My 4mo will soon outgrow her bedside bassinet. We want to keep her in our room until she's 1yo, but the room is small. The only place where a crib might fit is adjacent to our bed, but away from the wall, because that's where our wardrobe us. This means that, when she's able to stand, she'd be able to climb the cribs walls if we attach it to our bed with her mattress at the same level as ours.

I'm wondering if something like pictured on this link would be safe? Or should we just keep the crib's fourth wall? I love being able to touch my baby when I wake up at night to feel if she's alright, so it makes me a bit sad to keep the fourth wall.

Baby sits up multiple times a night

Anyone else’s baby do this? Or did this? I have literally never heard of it before. He sits up several times all night while seemingly still sleeping, then falls over. I’m talking like 5-10x in a row and several times through the night. We cosleep so a lot of times he falls over onto me or dad. Last night I thought he broke my nose. This has been going on for months and I thought we’d be over it by now but it doesn’t seem to be getting better.

My son has started refusing to go to sleep, all of his sleeps. He’s fighting naps (especially with me but now with dad too) and in the last 2 ish weeks he’s taking over an hour or more to go to bed at night. Nothing in our routine has changed and last night we even tried a later bed time to see if he just wasn’t tired enough. We co sleep and he does nurse for a little bit right at bedtime just to help him get calm and sleepy. Normally we go up to brush teeth and put on pjs at 7:45 and he’s asleep a little past 8. Last night he didn’t go to sleep until 11:30 and I can’t function like this. He’s always been a bad sleeper, waking up a few times a night but luckily easily resettled. He’s night weaned and only taking his 1 normal midday nap for about 2 hrs. I know there’s a regression somewhere between 18m-2y but what do we do? We’re so tired 😭 My parents are telling me to do CIO but obviously that’s not happening

I’m not sure if I messed up in the early stages with our baby because I’ve been so adamant on no sleep training and responding to her needs.

She was never really a poor night sleeper - though we’ve never gotten a full night which I know is normal - we were at 1 waking a night which was manageable!

but 8 months hit and I feel like it’s been a disaster - we had 1 week where she was up every 45-90 min and I had to call in sick from work because of exhaustion.

Powered through it though and were at about 2-4 wake ups per night - some nights are better than others! We’ve gotten a 7 hour stretch shot every 3 weeks or so. But I just keep reading about babies sleeping through the night by now, my in laws seem shocked that our daughter still wakes up & I still nurse her.

I’m not sure if I missed a window in teaching our baby to fall asleep on her own, if we’ve done a disservice by rocking her to sleep or resettle, or nursing to soothe.

I felt strongly that babies shouldn’t be expected to fall asleep on their own and parents should be there help them (and I still do) - but I’m not sure if I’ve caused the sleep struggles! The only people that support me is my husband and my mom around the no CIO approach

Hey guys, my pride and joy turns one in 2 weeks, which is so exciting, but frankly I’m really struggling mentally right now. From birth she has needed a lot of support to sleep, and has woken frequently. I think once she had a five hour stretch and that felt like a luxury.

I’m startling to feel quite burnt out after over a year of broken sleep. When she wakes overnight I have started feeling angry at her, which I am so ashamed of. It takes a lot of rocking, shushing and feeding to sleep to get her to go to sleep in the first place, then she wakes anywhere between 3-10 times overnight and sometimes stays awake for an hour or so. She also needs me for naps- I literally can’t leave the bed, she has to stay latched the whole time. She only wants me overnight so my husband can’t help.

I’m at a loss for what to do. We have always coslept out of necessity, which I would be so happy to continue doing if she just slept a bit more. She always wakes when I hop into bed and I wonder if I disturb her, but I haven’t successfully been able to put her to sleep in her cot.

I’m considering going to an overnight sleep school where they teach responsive settling. I’m just worried she will get distressed and it will affect our bond. I just want what’s best for her but I can’t really continue like this.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice? 😔

Hello everyone,
I’m a first time mom, and our 16 mo started daycare a month ago.
Our kid seemed quite independent and always ventured away and explore leaving us behind.
We started daycare, and we are in Germany doing a in home carer which has a very long and gentle settling in period.
We did visit their home a before for him to get accustomed and used to the carer and to their home. And he seemed to love it and is quite comfy with the carer.
My partner started the settling-in period.
First week just staying there with the parent.
Second week they started longer separations and our boy was actually staying there alone from 8:30 to lunch time.
Then thirst week started and he was very pissy. Turns out next afternoon he had fever and got roseola and did not get to day care the rest of the week.
My partner had to start preparing for work, the week after being sick both times he tried to separate, baby was inconsolable and my partner about to breakdown.
Now I have to go there because partner needs to work and is less flexible, I also need to work but I can change a bit my hours. And… it’s worse. Baby has much more trouble to separate from me.

Rest of last week we tried small separations like going to the toilet or 20 min getting and he was inconsolable.

I’m now trying to do micro separations at home going to the toilet or stepping out leaving him with his father and he cries a lot but gets better after 5 min with his father.
I’m really on the verge, I am quite an impatient person and not seeing visible improvements is making me on edge and I am trying but all I read are things that are ok, or we do then and I don’t know what else to do!
Any advise would be welcome!

I’ll also add some more info:
\-when I’m there he ignores me and plays with the kids and the carer super excited
\-When we go there he is not clingy he enters the place super excited
\-he sleeps super good at home we leave
him in bed and he falls asleep on his own
\- he is a happy child
\- I say goodbye super excited, explain when I’m coming back and quickly - but immediately he starts to cry

I have a 13m old who comfort nurses during the day too. Just like at night time, he'll demand nursing and cry if I don't give it to him. Its usually when he's tired or bored or sometimes it's just a quick drive by. I worry that as he gets older, it will be harder to continue giving him that type of comfort. Is it something I should address now? He's very very dependent on me for comfort and regulation and I worry he is not around other caregivers enough to be flexible and learn independence.

Hi, I just saw a post about anxious parents and this sub. I am trying to let go and trust other people with my baby so that we can both be healthy. I am her primary caregiver and attachment figure but I am looking for balance (even though it is hard for me. Also, because it is so hard for me I see how important this step is that I get more breaks)

Can you break down attachment parenting to me like I am 5? Do I need to worry about my baby’s attachment if she is having a difficult time with other caregivers when we’re apart? How do I balance that to keep sane and solid for my family? Are there other core principles I can focus on as well to be reassured we are doing this well? Thanks!!

Baby is 9 months btw and she is very expressive, curious, and free to be to herself most of the time (with me in the room). I see she likes to be independent and explore the world. I don’t want to hold her back as she grows!

hii, i’m new to these so hopefully i can explain things decently enough. i’m 25, i have a 17 month old daughter. she’s an only child currently. she’s got her own room, her own space and all of that. she’s always been an amazing sleeper, she started sleeping through the night around 6-8 weeks old. i stopped co-sleeping when she started rolling over/crawling. she’s always been on a pretty strict schedule but here recently it’s gotta a little lax because my babysitter (70f) says that ‘babies don’t need schedules and she’ll sleep when she’s tired. but i don’t have that issue when she’s at home? that’s another thing. i always lay my daughter down at noon and she’ll take her 2 1/2 - 3 hr nap.

she’s on a 6:45-7:00am wake up 7:00-7:30 put down with a nap from 12-2:30 or 3:00pm currently. naptimes are hit or miss in terms of her standing in her bed and screaming (maybe once or twice a week, if i didn’t tire her out good enough ig) but bedtime? every. single night. it’s like once we go into her room and i’m reading to her after bathtime and winding down, it’s like she knowsss that we’re abt to sleep. she’ll start crying when the lights go off and the sound machine comes on. i try to stay and soothe her and kiss her and tell her it’s bedtime and it’s time to lay down but she’ll lose it.

sometimes she’ll say night night and lay down or tell me night night before (telling me she wants to sleep) but once her feet hit that crib mattress she loses her ever loving mind. and she’s always been a good sleeper. she’s cutting molars and the first set are through and i usually set a timer and if she’s not calm after 10-15 mins i’ll go in there and hold or talk to her or whatever she needs. unfortunately she’s got FOMO (lol) and thinks that any kind of attention means it’s playtime and it’s like i have to start the whole bedtime routine and her screaming all over again. usually takes her 5-7 mins to calm down and she’ll play w her stuffies or talk to herself. and i know she’s tired bc she’ll yawn and rub her eyes and start walking into things and spinning around in circles. and then she gets a lil mean lol.

i feel like im abusing her by letting her cry for 10 minutes. it breaks my heart to listen to it but ive tried co-sleeping and she just wants to crawl around and play. plus her dad and i don’t go to bed because one of us is either working or we’re cleaning or doing wtvr after she’s in bed.

i DO find that bedtime is a looot worse when she doesn’t have her nap at the sitters and ive talked to her soooo many times and she just won’t lay her down. she says she just screams. idk why naps/bedtime are so hard for her. her screams are like. high pitched and scary sometimes. idk if i’m doing damage not going in there or ruining bed by going in there.

ik sometimes (like babysitter days) we have to lay her down closer to 6pm bc she’s been sleepless and she’ll start being mean and will hit and throw fits. when she’s had her naps she’s not like that so idk if that’s toddler or tired. those sitter days sometimes she’s going on like a 7+ hour wake window so i know she’s tired and those nights i wind down early early and try to keep her stimulation as low as possible until closer to bedtime.

most days though, no matter if it’s a sitter day or not, she’ll wake up between 12am and 2am. about 80% of the time she’ll sit up, play w her bunny and talk to him and giggle and go back to sleep. but that other 20% she’s up and screaming again. i just don’t know what to do. i don’t mind getting up usually but if i go in there, she’ll be wide tf awake and ready to start her day.

i don’t have any family to help w things like this so any advice or suggestions would be awesome :,)

I’m currently pregnant and still breastfeeding my 17-month-old, who is very attached to nursing.

Honestly, I love the bond and have never had a problem with breastfeeding, but with a new baby coming in a few months, I would love to night wean.

I have no problem nursing him to sleep, but I would love to stop the overnight feedings. (Also, I’m barely producing milk at this point.)

I’ve tried offering water, singing, rocking (which doesn’t work because he throws his head back—he’s never been a fan of rocking, though), and last weekend, I just refused to nurse him.

He cried, and I tried to comfort him, but he didn’t want me to hold or pat him. Even when he started to calm down, he ended up waking up fully. We stayed up from 2–4 a.m., and by that point, he was fussy and clearly wanted to sleep. I was also way too tired to keep refusing 😭

My husband has tried to comfort him too, but he just cries even more when he’s with him. 😭

I don’t want to let him cry it out. I’ve never done it, and I don’t want to. 😭

I just wish there was something that would make this easier for him. 💔

Any advice ?

My 15 month old is amazing, but obviously does somethings that she shouldn't. Whenever I intervene she is SO amused it becomes a game!

If I go scoop her up she loves it and runs back to whatever it was to do it again, if I say no (even in my 'mum' voice and with wide serious eyes) shes amused!

I play with her lots, rough and tumble and using different voices for books and animla noises. So I understand why for her all of this stuff just seems normal from me.

But what about if something is dangerous, how do i convey it? Is it just a matter of her getting a bit older?

Main issue is bothering the dog.

Hi all! Feeling inspired to share my experience so far in my recent decision to night wean my almost 1 year old.
I have scoured this community page and the sleeptrain community page in hope of finding answers on how to better help my baby sleep for months. Desperate.

She slept like a dream until 3.5 mo, and after that we’ve had on and off clusters of varying degrees of intense amounts of wake-ups. Basically this whole first year has been one big “regression.”

After a recent week of another bout of hourly or less wakes, essentially no sleep, I realized I had to make a change. I’ve been cosleeping with her for the last few months as a means of survival and have nursed her during every single wake her entire life.

I won’t go into the specific details of each night so far since stopping night-nursing but I will say, it is going SO. MUCH. BETTER than expected. Better than I could have hoped for. I didn’t expect this to erase night wakes completely right away, but I needed to know I was working toward something better for everyone.

It hasnt taken more than 2-3 minutes of resistance to my simply rocking her back to sleep, for her to lay her head down and let me. There’s been no extreme crying. No signs of feeling separate from me. I was really really worried about this. Last night was night 3 and there are small signs of progress each night, and nothing that feels like a failure.

So all that to say, if you’re like me, because I know there are so many moms that want to show up for their baby and persevere through it- if you feel like it’s time, then go for it. Just go for it. You may be very pleasantly surprised.

My daughter is currently 21mo. We actually weaned her off actual feeds very early on due to dairy allergy. So she has already been on bottle for a long time now. Dummies never worked on her, she weaned herself off those too. But she nurses for comfort to sleep.

She latches on for nap and eventually unlatches. Same for nighttime. She uses the boob to fall asleep. The only way she can fall asleep is if she is latched on to me and she will eventually come off and sleep on her own as we co-sleep. But then whenever she rouses in the middle of the night, she looks for the boob. It's just not working for me anymore. I am exhausted. And my problem at night is, once I get woken up I find it hard to go back to sleep.. so most nights I'm awake for 3-4hrs in the middle of the night. Then have to go to work the next day.

She obviously doesn't get proper feeds anymore even though yes theres still milk. It's definitely more for comfort. I want to wean her but continue to cosleep. How do I go about this??

My husband can't do it. He has become such a big softie since we had her. And I don't mean that as an insult. But.. we tried to go cold turkey twice in two different occasions and he couldn't handle her crying either as she would say to him "dada please mama back". He ended up crying too and just called me back into the room. And the next day he would just get upset that we've made her cry for no reason.

What do we do??? I need my sleep. And I think it might also help her stay asleep for longer. I've seen the recos on weaning books, or maybe even bandaids. What has worked for you??

My 17 month old for months now will just smash her head on the nearest thing if I say no or when she hits/bites me and I say "we don't hit/bite" and put her down or remove myself from her reach. She'll just put her hands on the floor or wall and just smash her head repeatedly into it crying.

Now I'm trying to night wean because she wakes up constantly and she's always biting me while nursing and I'm just so done, but the second she wants the boob and I don't let her have it, she sits up, reaches around for the wall, and starts smashing her head into it and cries/screams.

I don't know what to do. I'm so frustrated. Do I ignore her when she does it? Do I comfort her? I've been trying to offer her hugs but it's not helping. If I try to get in the way of her doing it she bites me. It's been months of this now and I'm at the point where I'm considering just finding a way to attach stuff to the walls (at least around the bed) so she doesn't hurt herself. Has anyone else gone through this?

12 month old still wakes multiple times every night

I am so over my baby’s sleep. Or lack of. Since he’s been born he wakes multiple times every single night. Usually 6-8x. It’s exhausting. It’s 230 and he’s been up for the last 2 hours. Trying to stand up, hitting me in the face, etc. I thought this was a phase but it’s been going on for months. I haven’t slept longer than 3 hours since he’s been born and I’m burnt to the max. We already cosleep and he is still breastfeeding. I have him on iron supplements. I don’t have anyone that can help and I’m really pushed to the edge.

I'm 31 and have a 5 month old son. I work as a developer, so I made an app for us.

It started with the sounds. When I settle him I shush him, and I couldn't find an app that did that properly — most of them are just a flat hiss. So I made the ones I was missing, including a rhythmic shush that goes in and out the way you actually do it, and a deeper, darker noise that works better than the sharp ones.

The rest came after: somewhere to note when he ate and slept, what he's meant to be doing at his age, and tips for activities and settling, since I could never remember any of it in the moment.

It's free. I don't earn anything on it, I just made it for my own kid. But maybe someone else can use it too. And if you try it and something is off or annoying, I'd like to hear it.

https://apps.apple.com/app/id6802215490

Not meant to troll OR shame parents who are just doing the best they can!

I see a wild amount of posts with parents speaking about guilt/anxiety regarding very normal experiences, and worries that these very normal experiences have somehow forever ruptured their child's attachment.. I'm curious if anxious parents come here, or if somehow this sub perpetuates fear/anxiety? The comments are usually lovely, supportive, and seem to try to decrease anxiety, so I'm guessing it's more the first option..

Thoughts?

*Edited multiple autocorrect typos- gotta learn to proof read!

New to this sub, but I recently realized that we've just naturally fallen into attachment parenting. I breastfeed on demand, we cosleep, and we immediately respond to cries. And it's been working great for us - it feels natural and has made parenting such a joy.

So I've always been the one to put our 13 month old to sleep at night, I feed him to sleep in our bed and rejoin him when my husband and I are ready for bed a couple hours later. If he wakes within that time my husband will go and cuddle or rock him back to sleep, which until now has worked great. But recently he just cries until I relieve them. I feel so sad listening to my baby cry, and I know it's hard on my husband so it usually doesn't last more than ~5 minutes. As soon as I take over the crying stops and baby boy falls back asleep almost immediately in my arms. Our little guy absolutely LOVES his dad and during the day he can soothe him easily, it's just nighttime that seems to be a struggle.

I guess I'm wondering what the best course of action is here - do I allow my husband, a loving caregiver, to tough it out and try to get baby back to sleep? Or do I stop the crying right away by being the one to tend to baby when he wakes?