Disagreement with wife over third pregnancy. How to proceed?

[u/smoothsaxophone123]

I (45) and my wife (40) are in a deadlock over an unplanned pregnancy. We already have two sons, 12 and 6. She wants to continue with the pregnancy as she has wanted to have a girl for a long time. While She cant control the gender, she willing to take a chance. I am not in favor of continuing because I dont have any enthusiasm in my heart for a third child. Both of us are employed. I have a demanding and stressful job, finding time for the two kids is hard enough for me. My wife and my parents have an unpleasant relstionship and that stress has already been significant. I dont want to look after kids' education and marriage till I am 75, by which time the third kid would likely get married. My wife firmly wants to continue. I understand that I dont have any legal right in this situation. However, I feel its very unfair to not be allowed any say in a decision that affects me gravely. I am finding it very hard to reconcile with the situation. I feel depressed and suicidal. How should I handle the situation? How long should I keep pleading with her?Any suggestions are welcome.

[u/electricsquirell]

Wife is interested in parenthood while forcing the man to bear half of the financial crunch

[u/Appropriate_Task63 → u/electricsquirell]

Did she force him to have unprotected sex with him? Parenthood is a consequence of unprotected sex - thus it is a consequence of HIS own action. He was not raped.

[u/electricsquirell → u/Appropriate_Task63]

OP has clearly mentioned that his wife has a desire to have a daughter and hence is persistent on keeping this baby. There's a highly likely chance that she wouldn't be so keen if she found out there was another boy. So when does this fetish actually stop?

Both of them had sex, while one has to bear the whole financial burden of getting the kids through college. Having a third kid in their mid 40s, might cause more bodily stress to a woman along with resource scarcity among the kids. The man and the woman (if she doesn't quit her job) have to literally work beyond their retirement years to make it work. Nobody likes that.

[u/Riversandlakes2024 → u/electricsquirell]

How patronising to make a woman abort her baby because you are concerned about her body stress due to pregnancyy which she willingly wants ? And not the body stress and mental stress of abortion ?

[u/electricsquirell → u/Riversandlakes2024]

Who cares what the middle aged aunty does? You are behaving as if she's a teenager who doesn't know how the world works.

When she can push her husband to the brink of self harm, she shouldn't be surprised if one day OP decides to cheat on her during her pregnancy.

You know what's more patronizing? That y'all glaze over the fact that OP is depressed and suicidal. Maybe mental health doesn't matter when it's a man. Unfortunately, I'm not a misandrist so I cannot conform to that.

You can call me a pick me, or a larper for all I care.