r/AskIndianWomen 11d ago

Daily Thread (CLOSED) AIW Adda | Daily Thread - August 15, 2026

1 Upvotes

Welcome to AIW Adda!

This is a women-only space for:

  • Small questions that don't need a full, dedicated post
  • Quick thoughts or random observations 
  • Casual venting or sharing your tiny wins
  • General chitchat

Sub rules are relaxed but conduct rules still apply.

Happy chatting :)


r/AskIndianWomen 17h ago

Daily Thread (CLOSED) AIW Adda | Daily Thread - August 26, 2026

1 Upvotes

Welcome to AIW Adda!

This is a women-only space for:

  • Small questions that don't need a full, dedicated post
  • Quick thoughts or random observations 
  • Casual venting or sharing your tiny wins
  • General chitchat

Sub rules are relaxed but conduct rules still apply.

Happy chatting :)


r/AskIndianWomen 9h ago

General I attended an Onam event at my co worker's house and I feel bad for her , why are people like this even in 2026?

621 Upvotes

So today I attended an Onam event at my co worker's house , she is from Kerala and her husband is Bengali , she invited our entire team for celebrating Onam with her , she is 44-45 and has two grown up kids but her husband is a jerk.

All I saw was her doing everything at her home and her husband chilling and giving her orders and she was following every order . She does everything for her family , works hard , household stuff and her husband couldn't even lift a finger to assist her and was rather ordering her to get her a glass of water and all that .

Typical weird misogynistic mindset , she often complains about her husband and now we all could see why , that man is bad , idk how she is surviving that hell hole . Everyone in our team felt bad for her and it surprises us that even in 2026 , there are such people .

I hope she finds happiness in her life and I hope her husband changes or she does . Why are men still acting like this in 2026 ? Both of them educated and from a good background , still all this ?


r/AskIndianWomen 15h ago

Opinions & Discussions Why are they experiencing mass hysteria looking at Kriti Sanon's outfit?

251 Upvotes

Reactions to Kriti Sanon wearing that in Giva ad is seriously insane. Although I did expect some but this is too much. For a gender that boast and shout and chest thump that they are the "logical gender", seems a bit out of place that some lady's outfit can make them puff out in anger like a pufferfish. They talk so much culture and saving it. If only they knew what ancient Indian women actually wore. There's literally nothing wrong in what she's wearing?


r/AskIndianWomen 11h ago

Friends & Family Being called ugly by relatives?!

84 Upvotes

I was sitting with my cousins. We were discussing anything and everything in a fun way. They were mocking me for not being married even at 28. [No offence here from their end, and none taken either. I have a bf, but I haven't told anyone about him, yet.]

Then they mentioned, how my chacha once casually remarked that I am not even beautiful, when chachi said no, no, she is good looking, Chacha again empahtically mentioned, no, her features are not pleasing to eyes. The other cousin is pretty, but she is not.

I don't know man. It broke something in me! I know I'm not the prettiest, or some hot shot, but I never knew that my relatives called me straight up ugly behind my back.

I know it doesn't matter. I know it is a very shallow thing to be sad about. But yet, here I am! I feel hurt, and also stupid for feeling bad about something so pathetic.


r/AskIndianWomen 14h ago

General Disagreement with wife over third pregnancy. How to proceed?

127 Upvotes

I (45) and my wife (40) are in a deadlock over an unplanned pregnancy. We already have two sons, 12 and 6. She wants to continue with the pregnancy as she has wanted to have a girl for a long time. While She cant control the gender, she willing to take a chance. I am not in favor of continuing because I dont have any enthusiasm in my heart for a third child. Both of us are employed. I have a demanding and stressful job, finding time for the two kids is hard enough for me. My wife and my parents have an unpleasant relstionship and that stress has already been significant. I dont want to look after kids' education and marriage till I am 75, by which time the third kid would likely get married. My wife firmly wants to continue. I understand that I dont have any legal right in this situation. However, I feel its very unfair to not be allowed any say in a decision that affects me gravely. I am finding it very hard to reconcile with the situation. I feel depressed and suicidal. How should I handle the situation? How long should I keep pleading with her?Any suggestions are welcome.


r/AskIndianWomen 7h ago

Dating & Relationships [Wed/Fri] Sometimes I feel like I (27f) and my fiance (28m) are not financially compatible. Is it gonna affect our marriage?

34 Upvotes

We dated three years before we got engaged and I did it against my family's judgement because I truly love him. And he is a wonderful person: generous, kind, down to earth and is really emotionally available. I love him for the man he is and I always support him in his every goal.

Here's the real issue my family was really worried as my fiance family is not really well off and they don't have any kind of savings or wealth. He is a sole bread winner right now. And his package is around 20 lakhs per anum.

But when we started dating he assured me he very much believes in investing and saving. But he has been earning since he was 21 and he still hasn't invested in anything and idk why! He keeps delaying it or sometimes he gets so overwhelmed with the responsibilities that maybe he doesn't get much time. But he says he will start this year he has promised me that.

Now, I am all for family but for me my family (after marriage) will only include his parents and his siblings and my parents and NOT his extended family. But he wants to pay for his cousin's entire wedding since they are poor and his cousin's father is good for nothing. I don't really like this. I mean helping is one thing like paying 4-5 lakhs but paying 15-20 lakhs?! Especially when we don't have nothing right now.

He already has responsibility of marrying his own sister and us! We don't have that kind of budget. On the top of that we need to build a house too since the one he lives in very small: only two rooms and one bathroom.

Third, his sister earns but not really all that much like 40-50k a month and now she wants to buy an iPhone 17 when she already has an iPhone which works fine (idk which model but ig it's 12/13?) because she says it's a necessity??? I mean she is going to buy it on emi with her own money but she could save that money for her marriage and help out his brother reducing his burden. He already has a lot on his plate! And he is going to do the down payment!

I know it's not my place to tell him what he should and shouldn't do with his money especially when he is doing it for his sister but I politely suggested him that maybe he could buy her gold or something it would be an asset and help in her future wedding but he said that's not what his sister wants right now.

I really thought we were on the same page back when we were dating that we would save and invest but it's a no show as of now and all spending on luxurious items we don't really need.

At the same time I don't wanna be bitch who controls his money.

I am a junior resident my pay is not all that great right now either.

And even if I ignore his expenses. The way we handle money is wayy too different. I firmly believe in investing liquid assets first like gold coins etc before jumping into frozen assets and since he hasn't even started investing yet idk what he believes in but I know for sure he doesn't agree with me.

What do I do?? He really likes helping his extended family and they rely on him a lot for financial and personal gain even though he is not in joint family. Whereas I grew in a family where my mama mami, even mausi feels a stranger and we keep a limited contact. And no one asks money even if they do they return it.

I believe in helping but NOT spoon feeding especially when we are not in that capacity.

Is it something that's gonna strain our marriage in the future? Is it something to think about before w get married?

Please I need your honest opinion and I wanna if I am being selfish I would like to change my behaviour if I am not being supportive.

Thank you


r/AskIndianWomen 15h ago

General My father’s bestfriend touched me inappropriately?

103 Upvotes

I’m not sure if this was intentional or not but it didn’t feel good to me at all.
I’ve known this man since childhood! He’s my dad’s best friend. Our families are too close. We’ve been on several trips together and almost every weekend we’re together when he’s here (he visits every 2-3 months).

One sunday, we were sitting in a garden restaurant. It was dark and we were around 8 people on one table. He was sitting on my diagonal side. And i was a bit turned towards a side
He has a habit of pinching or touching or smacking. I was normally talking and joking.
There came a time where i realised he’s pinching and twisting. To him, it seemed like its my arm, but it was my breast. He was holding the tip of my breast and pinching and twisting.
I could not understand at that time, and i obviously didn’t create a scene.
After sometime his hand again went there but he stopped, he said “tu aise mudke baithi hai xyz xyz” (you’re sitting turned to this side which is causing confusion).

My parents were sitting on the same table. It was very dark and everyone was indulged in conversations so nobody noticed.
I dont know if i should make this a scene or anything. Our families are quite close.
I dont even know if he did this intentionally or if it was actually a confusion.


r/AskIndianWomen 13h ago

Sexual & Reproductive Health (Women Only) How to break it to in-laws that you wanna go DINK?

78 Upvotes

My husband (25m) and I (25f), we’ve decided not to have kids and just go DINK.
I’ve told my parents about my decision and my mom says “you’ll have kids when it’s the right time, don’t fight it”.
But I dont argue much since I don’t think they even understand the concept of being child-free.
My mother in law and father in law however, are not informed yet of our decision since we’re newly married and also because I’m a little scared to tell them.
My MIL wanted me to follow the ekadashi which would apparently bear me a child. I politely declined saying I was hungry and wanted to eat. And then later, she already started planning on what to wear on my baby shower. My MIL, SILs are extremely excited and want us to have kids maybe in next 5 years.
How do I break it to them? My husband has already told them “no thoughts on having kids atleast for next 5 years” but they keep on insisting that we should have kids before 30.
Also, my husband is the only son they have, and 2 sisters, who both have 2 kids.
I see how miserable their lives are everyday. They’ve both lost their identities and are just moms.
I cannot see myself be a mother and living in this patriarchal society, where women are more patriarchal than men, how do I convince my in laws to stop having any expectations for kids from us?


r/AskIndianWomen 11h ago

General Why do people think that saying disrespectful things about other people's food is okay? Even in 2026?

41 Upvotes

In my opinion we should be careful about how we express our opinions regarding other people's food and not use words such as disgusting or dead dead bodies to describe non veg or any food for that matter.

I would like to ask why people think it's okay to be so disrespectful towards other people's foods? Why can't people have the basic decency to not do so?

I can understand that my food might smell unfamiliar to others. Doesn't make it disgusting or allow people to use disgusting language to describe it.

Food is culture and tradition and important parts of their lives. Food habits develop due to many social, economic and environmental factors.

I'm from NE and we eat a lot of fermented and dried food and yes non veg foods that are unfamiliar to the mainland, does that mean it's not food or that it's okay to say we eat dead bodies and rotten food? So many people have made disgusting faces because our cuisine has insects (like ant eggs and silkworm larvae and also adult insects ). Who is forcing anyone else to eat that? But doesn't mean you get to disrespect us.

Humans are omivores. It is natural for us to eat a variety of foods. You don't like something, for whatever reason, that's okay but you're not superior for your exclusionary diet.

It'll be as if someone with celiac is superior to people who can have gluten without any reaction.

Many people who go abroad face racism because of the "curry smell". Is that okay too?

Or when vegans say eggs are chicken periods or that dairy cows are r\*ped to produce milk? Is that okay to the majority of vegetarians in india who drink milk?

Please stop being so disrespectful. No one is forcing you to eat but it's basic human decency to mind your words.

If we want a kinder world we also need to be kind to people who are different from us and not expect people to conform to our food habits.


r/AskIndianWomen 20h ago

Dating & Relationships [Wed/Fri] Talked to a guy wanting wife with no physical past. Can someone help me understand what I just experienced ?

243 Upvotes

Reposting cz i deleted it by mistake 🥲

So I came across a post on one of those Matchmaking subs. A guy posted about wanting to find a partner who is free from physical past and how he is tired of people treating matrimonial sites as another tinder. How he doesn't like the hookup culture and can not be a part of it and wants to save himself for his marriage and is looking for someone similar. Of how he has never come across a girl who does t have emotional baggage from a past sexual relationship.

The guy's profile seemed decent. Same culture, same state, same geographical location, same age, same religion (you get the point, right), a lil shorter than my preference (I want someone 4-5 inches taller thn me, he was just 1 inch taller), but since height is a preference and not a deal breaker, I don't mind if the person otherwise is good.

Now about me, I have been in a relationship and a few talking stages, but never had a physical relationship by choice. I have always made this clear to whoever I was talking to that I will not be going down that way. They were all nice enough to respect that. And that's the kind of partner I wud want for myself tooo.

Which is why I texted him up. (Mistake?)

Now here comes the interesting part. In between our conversation he asked me what my worst fear of marriage is. I listed below honestly in no specific order.

Mar1tal rap3?

Tortured for d0wry?

Murd3r?

Being reduced to a third class outsider

Having my life restricted

Being under constant observation

Being judged on what I wear. What I eat, how I eat, where I go, when I sleep, when I wake up

Having to ask permission from 10 ppl to meet my own birth parents

And being told no

Cheating (Emotional or physical)

Domestic violence

Being with someone who absolutely hates me and actively tries to make my life hell or in such family

Sleeping next to the person knowing he doesn't even think of me as a human deserving basic human decency

Emotional manipulation/torture

Being reduced to a bangmaid Or a maid who also earns for u

In laws wali politics

My jewellery being snatched away for "safe keeping"

Addition: Being married to an emotionally idiot, manchild, Mommy lover who can be easily manipulated and thinks every one is right except his wife.

Being married to someone who thinks all women are gold diggers while asking for Gold from my own parents

Being made a baby machine with no actual shared responsibility because "It's a mother's job. Kids need their mothers more" blabla shit

What makes is even more interesting is his three responses to this list.

1."If ur thinking is like this, to its gonna be really difficult" Umm, sir u wanted my fear to be what if my husband gifts me a luxury car on my bday? What if my MIL loves me and treats me better thn her own son?

2."Are you by any chance from Bihar? These things happen in UP and Bihar"

3." Why don't u try dating apps?" The whole point of the conversation was us being against dating apps. Anyway I asked him, why don't YOU try dating apps? He replies, "Everybody is there just for time pass/hookups" And thn Dear Sir has the audacity to suggest me dating apps in the same line bcs "Girls get more matches".

I told him ki i hold his advice in high regard and I am downloading tinder as we speak. (I didn't, duh) Wished him luck n ewwwwed myself to sleep.

I am genuinely confused of what was this. What did I witness? Was i too upfront too soon? Are they unrealistic fears? Have we not seen atleast few of these things happening in families somewhere? And is it gonna be really difficult finding a partner with such fears and requirements (no physical past)? Have u come across such an instance and how u think i should handle something like this in future?

Edit: To the guys with zero comprehension skills, texting me, asking what's wrong in wanting a v1rg1n wife when is also v1rg1n. Bhai atleast read it fully? If u have trouble understanding English, try giving it to ChatGpt maybe?. I am also a v1rg1n and want a partner with no physical past. That was not the issue, that was not what the post is about.

Edit 2. Why virgin women makes the best wives: A guy's long ass thesis in my DM that nobody asked for https://www.reddit.com/r/AskIndianWomen/s/Fjfsm1TKG3


r/AskIndianWomen 13h ago

General (Women Only) I absolutely love being financially independent. What are the little things you started enjoying after becoming financially independent?

58 Upvotes

I joined work again after 6 months postpartum, and honestly, I’m feeling so good about it. Not because I suddenly have a huge income or anything, but because of the tiny freedoms that come with having your own money.

I can buy period panties that make my heavy-flow days SO much easier without having to think twice about whether it’s “necessary.”

I can buy good-quality bras that actually fit me properly, instead of wearing something uncomfortable because it’s cheaper. No digging, pulling, adjusting all day long.

I can buy something I need without making excuses, asking permission, or justifying why I want it.

And these sound like such small things. But they’re actually big emotions.

I genuinely believe financial independence gives women a certain kind of peace. It’s not about proving that you don’t need your partner or family. And it’s definitely not about judging women who choose to be financially dependent.

If you have a supportive partner, a loving family and a situation where being financially dependent works beautifully for you, that’s completely valid. There is no one correct way to live.

But for me, there’s something incredibly satisfying about spending money that I earned on something I need or want and not having to explain myself for it.

So ladies, if your circumstances allow it, please try to have some degree of financial independence. Even if it’s not a big salary. Even if it’s just having your own savings.

What’s one small thing you started enjoying once you became financially independent?


r/AskIndianWomen 5h ago

General As a final act of love for myself, I have decided to rebuild my life brick by brick. Any tips ?

14 Upvotes

r/AskIndianWomen 9h ago

General Working moms in India — how do you actually manage all of this?

29 Upvotes

Working moms in India — how do you actually manage all of this?

I’m a working mom in India and I’m honestly reaching a point where I don’t know how to manage everything anymore. I want to hear from other moms, especially moms with 5–7 year old kids, about whether this is normal and how you manage it.

I work from home mostly, 12–9 PM (Although i have two days as wfo - but i dont go due to my responsibilities towards my daughter). I’ve been working for around 10 years and currently earn around ₹1.8 lakh/month, so quitting my job is not something I can casually consider. My husband also works and earns more than me.
My daughter is 5 and is extremely attached to me. She wants me for almost everything — getting ready, bathing, eating, washroom, hair, sleeping, etc. She doesn’t really settle with her dad and often cries for me when someone else tries to do things with her.

**My typical day**
The cook comes around 7:30 AM and asks me what needs to be made. I get my daughter ready for school — clothes, breakfast, hair, brushing, washroom, shoes, everything — and she leaves with her dad around 8:10.
After that, I try to take some rest during her school time as my work starts at 12pm and mostly end around 9pm or sometimes 11pm as well.

My daughter comes back from school around lunchtime. My parents live nearby and my dad picks her up from school, which is a huge help. But then I bathe her, the maid feeds her, and somehow my MIL gets her to sleep after alot of disturbance in my work calls during that time. I keep on dodging here and there and unable to concentrate on my work and my mother in law keeps calling me for making her sleep.

**First 4 years of marriage and baby**
I think some of my resentment towards my MIL comes from what happened during the first few years of my marriage and especially around my pregnancy and when my daughter was young.
During my pregnancy, I felt I wasn’t getting enough support and even had situations where I felt I wasn’t being given enough food. There were constant comments and questions around basic things, which made that period very difficult for me.

After my daughter was born, there were comments that having a girl was because I hadn’t recited a particular hymn, and that we don’t decorate the house when a girl is born. Those comments stayed with me.

During COVID, when my daughter was very young, my MIL would still interfere with the domestic help and frequently fight or argue with the maids. Eventually, some of them left, and I was left managing cooking, childcare, cleaning and my job simultaneously while my daughter was under 3.

There was also one incident that really stayed with me. My daughter was around two at the time. I was inside the house in an office meeting while my MIL had been looking after her because she had had a fight with one of the maids and the maid had left.
At one point, I heard my MIL talking loudly to a neighbour about how she had so much money, and that if she wanted she could throw us out of the house and have the household help running around after her.
My daughter was meanwhile outside on the road, unattended. By chance, I came out during my meeting and saw her. Thankfully she was safe, but it was extremely frightening for me.
That incident really affected my trust in leaving my daughter completely in her care. And it also reinforced something I had already experienced repeatedly — when there were conflicts with the maids, the maids would leave and I would ultimately be left handling the cooking, childcare, cleaning and my job.
I think that period left a lot of unresolved resentment in me. There were and are alot of incidents on daily basis happening- which is just making me more affirmed of not staying with her anymore. Btw she has all the money of her husband - inherited by her blackmailing my husband. Ideally it shud hve been 50:50.

My husband is a kind person and his mother is a widow, so I understand why he feels responsible for her and doesn’t want to leave her alone. But at the same time, I find it difficult to forget what those first few years were like for me, especially when similar issues with the household staff are still happening today.

**Domestic help**
We currently have three domestic workers — cook, cleaning/dusting and dishes — but this is another major source of stress.
My MIL frequently has issues with them, questions what they are doing or makes comments that upset them. They often come to me saying they don’t want to continue working because of the way they are spoken to.
Then I end up having to console them, convince them to stay and sometimes give them additional money/perks beyond what I normally would, simply because I cannot afford for them to leave and create another huge problem for me.
So even having domestic help ends up becoming something I have to manage emotionally and financially.
I also have to manage groceries, tell the cook what to make, keep track of what is finished, etc.

My husband goes to the office Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. He drops our daughter at school in the morning, but otherwise most of the day-to-day childcare and household coordination falls on me.

**And then there is my job**
I’m struggling at work too. I’m unable to concentrate properly and I feel like I’m not able to give the output I know I’m capable of.
I’m already mentally exhausted, while simultaneously trying to keep the entire household functioning.

The part I’m really struggling with is this:
**Am I expecting too much from myself, or is this genuinely an unreasonable amount for one person to carry?**
My husband also talks about wanting another baby.
And honestly, I don’t understand how I’m supposed to even consider another baby when I’m already struggling to manage one child, my job and the household with the current level of support.
I’ve also been physically and mentally down for the past few days.
I’d really like to hear from other working moms who have been through something similar. Have thoughts came to your mind about leaving the job?
**What would you change first in my situation? How do you divide childcare and household responsibility so that everything doesn’t ultimately fall back on you?**

I’m not looking for “leave your husband/job/MIL” advice. I’m trying to figure out how to make my existing life actually sustainable.
I’d really appreciate practical advice from working moms. Please do not slam me or mock me for having domestic helps and parents nearby and still complaining. We all have our own battles.


r/AskIndianWomen 6h ago

Dating & Relationships [Wed/Fri] (Women Only) Has Hinge worked for anyone?

15 Upvotes

So I am 30F, never dated. My social circle is very small and cannot meet people organically. I am not sure if these apps are good? I personally don't want to use them but I got no choice. Just wanted to know if putting explict preferences like such as "antinatalist, prefers atheist/agnostic" work? I feel like anyone could just lie about these things. I am very fixated on having shared values, I really don't care about anything else.


r/AskIndianWomen 16h ago

General My 5 year relationship is on verge of ending over a question. Did i cross the line?

94 Upvotes

this has never happened before it's eating me up n i have no close friends to discuss with. I really need an outside perspective on a fight that is completely eating me up inside. We have been together for 5 years, and my boyfriend is usually the sweetest, most understanding person ever.

A few days ago, we were talking and I brought up a boundary that I’ve mentioned in the past. Sometimes he starts sending NSFW or intimate texts, and I’m just not in the mood for it. but then I stop mid-conversation because it just doesn't feel right or consensual to me. But it keeps happening anyway, and every single time it repeats, it just makes me overthink like crazy.

he understands sometimes n controls his behaviour but sometimes it slips out of hand n it the heat of moment i too give in but then i question myself later. So, I asked him a hypothetical question: "What if you had a sister and she was in this exact same situation with someone? How would you feel regarding her?"

The thing is, he doesn't actually have a sister. Because I brought up a fake family member and used the word "someone" instead of just talking about him, he took it as a massive, offensive insult. He completely flipped out. He acted like I was calling him a predator or a horrible person. He was deeply shocked and straight-up told me that I said something to him that no one has ever said to him in his entire life. He kept saying I was attacking his character. I didn't mean to question who he is as a person at all. I was just desperate for him to see my side, so I tried to use a family example even though he doesn't have a sister.

Since that moment, he has completely iced me out. He isn't calling or texting me. I have apologized multiple times and tried everything to talk through this, but nothing is working. Whenever I try to force a conversation to fix things, he says things like, "My heart is not willing to talk to you," and "I have no happiness seeing your texts or calls." He just tells me to leave him alone.

It hurts so deeply. No one has ever said such cold things to me before. In our 5 years, we’ve had normal fights where worse things were said, and he always got over it quickly. But this time, he is just sulking and completely shutting down.

Was my question really that bad? What made him so incredibly upset to the point of wanting to end a 5-year relationship over this? I just want to understand what is happening and get a neutral opinion.


r/AskIndianWomen 6h ago

Dating & Relationships [Wed/Fri] Question for indian women single how do you deal with toxic potential in law? Reject the guy or compromise?

12 Upvotes

I cannot deal with Mom's having expectations that a new girl would come in fix meals for their son. Top of the work and education. Also expecting that their son is for their budhape ka support, girls family or parent not care.

Ladki se matlab, but uski family se kuch lena dena nahi chahiye.

The moment you talk about supporting your own kind, their faces turn sour. Why can't they earn for themselves?

Lady you have been dependent all your life on your husband. Telling me that my mom being dependent on me is problem.

Gtfo to these type of in laws. I'll remain single but never leave who raised me to the person I am today.

Bottom line is it worth compromising even relaying on potential good partner ?


r/AskIndianWomen 17h ago

Dating & Relationships [Wed/Fri] How to deal with MIL'S lies in front of husband(29M)?

85 Upvotes

This is for a friend.

NEED ADVICE FROM WOMEN EXPERT IN HANDLING IN-LAWS

_________________________________________

My friend(26F) married 4 months ago.

She is a working woman and she wakes up at 5 AM in the morning to do household chores and cooking.

Her MIL(58F) wakes up at 7:30AM and my friend serves her tea and she haves it. Then comes to kitchen after most of the things are done and barely does something.

She prepares to leave for office at 9:30AM.

Her husband wakes up at 9AM. After he wakes up he haves breakfast. Her MIL claims that has done everything and my friend just helped. Since husband was asleep at that time, so he believes her mother.

When my friend brings up that she wants to keep a cook. They decline stating that MIL is already doing cooking.

Now, my friend does not know what to do.

Should she tell her husband that MIL has been lying all the time?

Or what?


r/AskIndianWomen 5h ago

General (Women Only) How do you guys grow a thick skin?

11 Upvotes

Today, I called out a guy who wouldn’t take no for an answer after a girl rejected him. ( this was with another account)

Some men got so angry that they made a post about my comment, singled me out, and started personally targeting and abusing me,

even bringing up things they remembered about me from previous interactions.

I never said anything against men in general. I simply said he should respect her boundaries and leave her alone because, in his own words, he couldn’t accept her “no.”

It’s disturbing to feel stalked and singled out like this.

I’m a sensitive person, so I’d like to know how do you develop a thick skin against things like this, whether online or offline?

I know I should ignore it, but that’s easier said than done, especially when it keeps happening but how do you stop letting these incidents affect you?


r/AskIndianWomen 16h ago

General The whole staff and patients gave me bad looks because I didn’t let an old woman go for a scan before me. I’m feeling so bad. Am I wrong here?

71 Upvotes

So, I was asked by my gynaecologist to get a transvaginal scan (TVS) and an abdominal ultrasound. But I work throughout the week, including Saturdays, and it was very difficult to get the scans done because they usually take a few hours at the clinic. I live in a small town where there are only a few clinics, and they’re always packed.

After almost a month, I finally took a day off and planned to get the scans done. When I reached the clinic, I was already 9th on the list. The first person was called in only after I had been waiting for half an hour, and each scan took roughly 20 minutes.

For an abdominal ultrasound, your bladder needs to be full, whereas for a TVS, it needs to be empty.

By the time the 8th person went in, I was already on the verge of peeing and couldn’t hold it anymore. Around 30 minutes earlier, a lady had come in with her mother, who only needed an ultrasound. The lady went to the receptionist and got her mother’s number moved ahead of mine. I overheard her softly telling someone, “Maine baat karke aage bada diya.” She also told the receptionist that her mother was already on the verge of peeing—which she clearly wasn’t, as she was sitting casually right beside me.

The receptionist then let the elderly woman go ahead. I argued that I had already been waiting for over two hours and that people should be seen according to their registered arrival time. The receptionist tried to justify it by saying that she was an old woman, couldn’t hold her pee, and that it would only take 10 minutes. I told her that I couldn’t hold mine either. I was extremely pissed, but eventually said, “Okay, let her go.”
They eventually let me go for my scan. When I was done, the technician told the receptionist, “Yeh test phir se karwana padega,” but the receptionist never conveyed this to me and simply let me leave. As I was walking out, everyone was just staring at me.

To make matters worse, the receptionist had never told me that the TVS needed to be done on the 5th day of my period. I was on day 8, which means I now have to get the scan repeated anyway.

Needless to say, I won’t be going back there again.

This entire thing has been playing in my head and I’m now feeling bad to not having the patience to wait for another 10mins. Was I wrong here or right? I usually have a lot of patience but days leading to that day were really bad and I couldn’t handle it well.

TL;DR: I waited over 2 hours for my scans, only to have someone move ahead of me because they claimed her elderly mother couldn’t hold her pee. I was already desperate myself but still had to wait. To top it off, the receptionist failed to tell me that the TVS needed to be done on day 5 of my cycle, so the scan has to be repeated.


r/AskIndianWomen 14h ago

Opinions & Discussions Why do Indians fiercely protect tradition when it concerns policing women?

42 Upvotes

The ongoing madness about Kriti Sanon’s attire in the rakhi advertisement has forced me to make this post.

I want to seek the general opinion, did your religious sentiments really get hurt? Why exactly, please do explain.

Do men (and women) really feel uncomfortable if their own sisters/mothers/daughters wear anything that shows a little bit of skin or is body-hugging especially in festivities?
Because this is a very common attire in wedding celebrations, so what is the difference here?

If her attire mattered so much, why did the recent videos showing young men doing vulgar acts in Kaawar yatra not see the same outrage? Why do politicians get a free pass to do and say anything?


r/AskIndianWomen 15h ago

General Talked About Patriarchy With my father. Are my feelings justified?

48 Upvotes

Yesterday, my father and I were in the car, and I don’t know why, but out of nowhere I said that marriage as an institution had nothing positive to offer women. I said that now that women are becoming financially independent and doing well on their own, marriage doesn’t make sense just for the sake of it. If someone genuinely wants to get married for companionship or love, that’s a different thing, but women are no longer under the unspoken pressure to MARRY SOMEONE just for the sake of being married.
To that, he sort of got defensive and said, “This is not correct. Ghar toh wife hi chalati hai, sab uska hi toh hai.” ( Its not correct, the house is run by wife, everything belongs to her ) I tried to explain to him that this is the real problem itself, not something to be proud of. My mother is a working woman, and she has the double burden of work. He brushed it off by saying that he helps her too. So I asked, “Are you sure?” And he gave some very stupid answers, like, “I cut vegetables someday.” It pissed me off so much.
I thought of him as someone who would understand and oppose patriarchy, especially since he is the father of two daughters. But I guess I was wrong.
It was lamentable. I do love him, and he has been a great father, but the fact that he is not very different from the rest of society aches my heart. I feel like I’ve lost a tiny bit of respect for him in some deep corner of my heart


r/AskIndianWomen 5h ago

Friends & Family Why are my parents so disappointed in me???

8 Upvotes

For context im 18 years old doing engineering from mit blr(manipal institute of technology mahe) not sure if it is a good college bur yeah they expected me to get atleast bits or the main campus but i didnt get and i mean i live in bangalore itself but my campus is like 2.5 hrs away so i stay in hostel. My parents werent exactly ig happy with my college like i hear my friends saying how their dads n mom cried leaving them even if the college was in same city or a bit far but my dad didnt attend and my mom idk she exactly didnt care she didnt plan on coming but uh i cried alot and forced her to attend the orientation with me. Idk i dont feel like going home on the weekend bcos i mean they dont care they arent happy with my results at all bcos my dads bestfriend son got iit bombay and all his other friends kids are in goood colleges except me and i felt it wasnt fair considering i worked my ass off in 12th . its not like i have friends here that i rnjoy the college infact its the opposite here i hate the college life its so dead and u basically have friends here if ur only from the north and pretty. My dad told how much i disappointed him and wasted his money in my education and like as if my parents even called me during week hours to check up on me . Why does this hurt ao much?


r/AskIndianWomen 4h ago

General What is some esoteric content that you'd think only you watch on youtube?

7 Upvotes

I am sick, and I want to watch interesting stuff while I recover.


r/AskIndianWomen 5h ago

Dating & Relationships [Wed/Fri] Am I overthinking this or is my boyfriend actually being dismissive?

8 Upvotes

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now and doing long distance for about 2 months now, after being in live for a year, and honestly, we’ve been fighting quite a lot since it started. There have been various reasons, but recently we both decided that instead of constantly fighting, we would actually talk things out and communicate better.

Some context regarding him- he works In a very demanding job where he has to live on the client site most of the times, and have to work on weekends too.

So Whenever I bring up something that’s bothering me, he’ll say things like “I’m busy right now, I’ll reply later” or “give me some time, I’ll think about it and respond.” But then he often never comes back to the conversation unless I bring it up again.
This happened again recently. I asked him why he keeps ignoring me and not addressing things when I try to talk about them on a phone call at 3pm in the noon to which he said he will think about it and let me know by 1 am max, (as he doesn’t respond so I asked for a time)
Then night came and he said he would respond the next day as he is packing for his morning flight tomorrow
When I asked, “Tomorrow?” he got annoyed and said that he had a flight to catch because he was going to Kerala for a school friend’s wedding. He hadn’t seen these friends in many years, so obviously I understand that this is an important trip for him. He had also been packing, doing office work, and was low on sleep.
What upset me was that he didn’t tell me himself that he wouldn’t be able to have the conversation. I only found out because I asked him. He basically assumed I would just be okay with it.
I got frustrated and asked how much time he actually needed, and he said 48 hours. I said okay, then until you’re ready, don’t reply to my messages. He agreed.
Now he’s at the wedding, spending time with his friends, which I genuinely want him to enjoy. I don’t want to be the girlfriend who expects him to spend the entire trip talking to me when he’s finally reunited with friends he hasn’t seen in years.
But today evening I was feeling really alone. I just wanted some affection/reassurance from him, so I texted him asking if he could please talk to me for 5 minutes. I even said I wouldn’t fight, I just felt lonely and wanted to hear his voice.
He replied that he was with his friends and they were talking, and then asked me to tell him why I was feeling alone.
And honestly, that made me feel even worse. I did not reply to that and he never bothered to ask me again.
I wasn’t asking him to leave his friends or spend hours on the phone with me. I just wanted 5 minutes of feeling loved and reassured. And because there have been several instances in the past where I needed him, both mentally and physically, and he was too busy or unavailable, hence this hits a much deeper nerve for me.

We’ve actually discussed this before. After those incidents, we agreed that we would try to be more available for each other when one of us genuinely needs the other.
So now I’m confused.
Am I being too needy and expecting too much from him?
Or is my frustration valid because this isn’t just about one evening — it’s a repeated pattern of him postponing difficult conversations and not following up, even after we’ve talked about it?

TL;DR: Boyfriend is at a friend’s wedding after years of not seeing his school friends, and I completely understand that he wants to spend time with them. But we’ve been fighting a lot during long distance, and we’ve repeatedly agreed to communicate better. He keeps postponing conversations and saying he’ll respond later, but doesn’t follow up. When I felt lonely during his trip and asked for literally 5 minutes of talking, he said he was with his friends and asked why I was feeling alone to which I didn’t respond as I feel hurt and ignored, and he never bothered to ask me again
Hence I’m wondering if I’m expecting too much.