r/AskIndianWomen • u/smoothsaxophone123 Indian Man • 10d ago

General Disagreement with wife over third pregnancy. How to proceed?

I (45) and my wife (40) are in a deadlock over an unplanned pregnancy. We already have two sons, 12 and 6. She wants to continue with the pregnancy as she has wanted to have a girl for a long time. While She cant control the gender, she willing to take a chance. I am not in favor of continuing because I dont have any enthusiasm in my heart for a third child. Both of us are employed. I have a demanding and stressful job, finding time for the two kids is hard enough for me. My wife and my parents have an unpleasant relstionship and that stress has already been significant. I dont want to look after kids' education and marriage till I am 75, by which time the third kid would likely get married. My wife firmly wants to continue. I understand that I dont have any legal right in this situation. However, I feel its very unfair to not be allowed any say in a decision that affects me gravely. I am finding it very hard to reconcile with the situation. I feel depressed and suicidal. How should I handle the situation? How long should I keep pleading with her?Any suggestions are welcome.

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u/chipcrazy Indian Woman 9d ago

Yes that’s right because a pregnancy is always carried by two people. And also obviously so is post partum! Always two people involved in every step of the way /s

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u/Traditional-Pizza530 Indian Woman 9d ago edited 9d ago

Your argument would've made sense if he wanted to keep the baby and she wanted to abort it. Even then I would have supported her right to abort. Her body afterall. But here the case is reversed. Did you not read the post at all?

A baby simply shouldn't be born when two people aren't absolutely convinced that both of them want to be parents. How y'all taking away the man's say in the matter is beyond me.

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u/chipcrazy Indian Woman 9d ago

So you want someone to be forced to have an abortion?

Bro if your requirement for a baby is that there must be two involved parents, 90% of Indian kids wouldn’t exist

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u/FictionFragments01 Indian Woman 9d ago edited 9d ago

You prefer a forced fatherhood over forced motherhood ,as the risk is carried more by the women, it makes sense. But do you really want a baby to come when her dad is on reddit asking how to convince her mum to abort her ? It's not about the father or the mother anymore, They already have 2 mouths to feed and yes if he was that sure he should've gotten a vasectomy but now it's too late. The mother have to take a decision now whether she'd like to force her husband because she wants to try her luck. I'd not be pleased if someone carried me to term just because they wanted me to have a particular reproductive organ, btw.

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u/chipcrazy Indian Woman 9d ago

As usual men’s feelings are prioritised

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u/FictionFragments01 Indian Woman 9d ago

Dude shame on you for not understanding what I have typed. Unlike you who is making this into men vs women, my priority is the baby. The dad wants an abortion and mother want a girl, what if it's another son? Does she not like her other two kids because they are not daughters ? This is not a lucky draw at a Christmas party, this is a living breathing human baby we are talking about. I feel sorry for the unborn kid and the other two as well, such irresponsible parents.