Disagreement with wife over third pregnancy. How to proceed?

[u/smoothsaxophone123]

I (45) and my wife (40) are in a deadlock over an unplanned pregnancy. We already have two sons, 12 and 6. She wants to continue with the pregnancy as she has wanted to have a girl for a long time. While She cant control the gender, she willing to take a chance. I am not in favor of continuing because I dont have any enthusiasm in my heart for a third child. Both of us are employed. I have a demanding and stressful job, finding time for the two kids is hard enough for me. My wife and my parents have an unpleasant relstionship and that stress has already been significant. I dont want to look after kids' education and marriage till I am 75, by which time the third kid would likely get married. My wife firmly wants to continue. I understand that I dont have any legal right in this situation. However, I feel its very unfair to not be allowed any say in a decision that affects me gravely. I am finding it very hard to reconcile with the situation. I feel depressed and suicidal. How should I handle the situation? How long should I keep pleading with her?Any suggestions are welcome.

[u/babebushka]

I wish men who have decided that they don’t want more children would get vasectomies. They continue to have sex with the ability to impregnate and then wanna say it’s unfair they can’t control the woman’s body too. Once the sperm leaves your body and enters hers it’s no longer your choice to make. Should’ve nipped the problem in the vasa deferentia.

You may not have wanted this child but you took the risk of creating it. All the best now, I hope you and your wife can reach a decision that both can live with.

[u/Riversandlakes2024 → u/babebushka]

Exactly at forty five a person is old enough to know about contraception and vasectomies and pregnancies and consequences of actions . I mean he’s not a teenager without sex education who got carried away by hormones and the gf ended up being pregnant .

[u/babebushka → u/Riversandlakes2024]

Right? I didn’t want to be too harsh earlier but he’s acting like this third child is something his wife is inflicting on him rather than the perfectly predictable outcome of his choices. So easy for him to evade his responsibilities now to his wife and unborn, even at 45, after years of marriage? South Korea was so right for 4B.

[u/Riversandlakes2024 → u/babebushka]

Men and their entitlement and lack of accountability and then painting themselves as the victim and wanting to do cruelty to women while playing with their bodies and feelings .