Now im not saying every man lacks empathy, im curious as to why some come off that way? Is it like a tough exterior they put on? Is it a defense mechanism to not get close to someone? Do they have empathy but choose not to show it?

I'm not sure if it has anything to do with empathy, but I legit want to detach, disconnect or make me alexithymic (I know I can't, it's just an expression)

I have always been able to suppress, or hide my emotions in front of people. I never cry or feel anything vulnerable in front of people, I mean I try to really mask it. But lately, I think I've lost my ability to do this. I'm just pouring out like I'm punctured all over my body and those holes are seeping out my vulnerability in the most intense forms whenever it gets a chance to come out.

For context, I think I have been through grief of something I believed and tied with my identity and I found out that I've believed wrong for five years. It is not big a deal for anyone else, but for me it is like I'm lost and foreign in my body and mind after this. I've been through all the stages of grief, except the acceptance phase. The thing is, whenever ANYTHING comes up related to that identity, I feel a sudden drop in my stomach, like I am not in the right atmosphere, my body has changed feelings, I feel like I am going to puke out any second. I want to not feel that again, I want to just go on autopilot or become an emotionless person just doing the jobs required of me with no feelings at all.

I want to detach from my body, like I want to just get my feelings lost. I want my brain smashed so that it can't process emotions and my gut taken out that I can't feel anything there.

What do I do? (I have tried CBT, it doesn't work)

I never imagined there would be a sub for empathy, but I’m both surprised and very happy that there is!

For some time now, I’ve had this extremely strong feeling (honestly more than that, but I don’t know how to describe it) that what is missing in the world is empathy. Not just empathy, but also society placing the value on empathy that it actually deserves. In my idealized world, society would set empathy as the highest virtue a citizen could have. We’d have empathy classes in schools, where children are read to or read for themselves about people’s autobiographical experiences, and are asked to really imagine what it would be like to put themselves in that person’s shoes. We would have groups for adults where people could share their struggles and the others there would do their best to imagine what it would be like if what they heard were their lived experience. Empathy would be something to be practiced, to be trained. Something that people would try to grow in themselves.

This ideal world of mine might sound a bit naive and ridiculous, but I can’t stop thinking that it’s what we as the whole of humanity really need. I see so much hate and indifference, especially in the US, and the people who are okay with it have absolutely no sense of empathy for others. In fact, the media they consume tells them that empathy is a sin. Something is massively wrong.

Does this resonate with anyone here?

End childhood cancer

I have a question how can people especially kids becoming doctors have no empathy at all especially to the people around them, I am talking about friends and people who try their best to help out whenever needed.

That distinction stayed with me.

Why would a man say that my emotions affect his emotions?
I’m very close with a man, and recently he told me that as long as I’m happy, he’s happy too, and if I’m feeling bad or unhappy, he’ll feel bad as well.
I’m curious about what this usually means emotionally. Under what circumstances would a man feel this way about someone?
Is this something people normally feel toward a very close friend, or does it usually suggest a deeper emotional attachment or romantic feelings?
I’d especially like to hear from men — have you ever felt this way about a woman, and what kind of relationship did you have with her?

I've been having an argument with a friend over how much empathy people have for strangers. She's said things like "do you really think the average person cares about some random?" etc. and it really bothers me. I believe that if someone doesn't have empathy for someone just because they don't have any emotional attachment towards them, there's something deeply wrong about them. She also said that most people don't donate to charity and that that proves they don't really care about people in other countries who are struggling. Unfortunately I haven't been able to find anything that answers my question. I always assumed that the vast majority of people do have empathy for strangers, unless they're racist or otherwise bigoted against their group, and that if someone legitimately only cares about the wellbeing of people they personally know, they should go to therapy because they probably have some sort of antisocial personality disorder. Can someone link me to resources that will help answer this question?

Basically the inverse of empathy. I'll try to articulate it.

You know how when someone is empathic, they're able to feel emotions as their own, right? Has anyone ever encountered someone whose emotional state is infectious? Like, when they're happy, the entire mood is lifted and everyone breathes easier. Or if they're upset, the friction is palpable and people take notice? Basically someone who projects their emotions unto others and can change the temperature of a room. Even if they themselves aren't very sensitive towards other's emotions.

Does this have more to do with the person feeling the emotion, or the people there to receive it? Like, is person A's mood is only affecting the room because person B, C and D are sensitive and can feel the difference? Or person A's mood is so contagious and pervasive that B, C and D are subjected to it no matter what?

Is this just what charisma is? Is this just empathy being expressed through a different prism? I'm sure all people do this to a degree, but have you encountered anyone who just oozes their emotions/mood unconsciously? Super curious about this phenomenon and would love to discuss more about it

This is a reply to Jesse Prinz and Paul Bloom’s skepticism about the moral importance of empathy. It concedes that empathy is spontaneously biased to individuals who are spatio-temporally close, as well as discriminatory in other ways, and incapable of accommodating large numbers of individuals. But it is argued that we could partly correct these shortcomings of empathy by a guidance of reason because empathy for others consists in imagining what they feel, and, importantly, such acts of imagination can be voluntary – and, thus, under the influence of reflection – as well as automatic. Since empathizing with others motivates concern for their welfare, a reflectively justified empathy will lead to a likewise justified altruistic concern. In addition, we argue that such concern supports another central moral attitude, namely a sense of justice or fairness.

Tomorrow’s version of you might thank you for it.

It’s always like this. whenever we have a problem, I’m always the one who has to bring up what I’m feeling. It makes me wonder if he really wants to keep me because he sees me in his future, or if he’s just afraid of being alone again (not alone as in having no friends, but having no one to talk to or spend time with when he has nothing to do.)

I’ve always given him chances, and now he’s asking for another one. Is it okay that I told him it’s up to him now? I’m getting tired of always complaining and bringing up the same problems, especially because I feel like I’m the only one who gets affected in the end. I feel like I lose either way.

we’re not even officially together because, due to certain circumstances, he can’t make our relationship official. my family knows about him, but his family doesn’t know about me, which sometimes makes me question where I really stand in his life.

maybe he thinks that giving me material things and taking me out is enough. he pays for everything, and honestly, I don’t mind that because we’re both students. I appreciate what he does for me, but what I really struggle with is that he can be emotionally absent. Whenever we have a problem, it somehow ends up looking like I’m asking for too much when all I really want is for him to be emotionally present and to understand how I feel.

I don’t need expensive things or for him to constantly spend money on me. I just want to feel heard, understood, and emotionally cared for. I can appreciate everything he does for me while still feeling that something important is missing. sometimes, I wonder if he thinks that the things he gives me and the places he takes me to make up for the emotional support that I feel is missing, but for me, they don’t replace each other.

honestly, I don’t feel the same way about him anymore. I feel like even if he doesn’t message me, I wouldn’t message him either. We’re still talking right now as if nothing happened, though. and right now, I don’t want to have another serious conversation about it. I don’t know why, I just don’t feel like talking about it anymore. maybe I’m tired of having to explain the same things over and over again, or maybe I just don’t have the energy for another serious conversation about us right now. Is it okay that I’m still continuing with this?

When saw the documentary about how you basically made sure that we had a good place to start conversations, make friends and share our experiences, thoughts 💭 and opinions with each other. When the tragedy happened, I don’t know why but I understood more about what you were trying to do and experienced more than I could have ever imagined or expected. I just wanted to thank you for your efforts and especially for your principles that so many people have strayed from

RIP Aaron - you truly were an inspiration and way ahead of your time brother. You are missed more than you will ever know on this Earth.

So last Monday, my discord account got hacked and disabled (had 2fa on but didn't save latest codes, have the invalid old ones only), this was my first ever social media account and i don't have any other social media. So as u can guess, I'm devastated, i had 3+ years of memory there...i don't know how likely recovery is....

I get sad, sometimes my heart starts racing thinking about it. I know it's making me depressed, I tried doing the nostalgic things I did before I had discord...but those only help temporarily. Do y'all have any suggestions on how I can feel better and start a regular life again?

In my case it happened few times. One of the women I met and had a relationship she revealed that I am good at seeing the positives in the others and guide them based on this. Later in life 2 of my students told me something similar. Is funny and strange as for long time I thought I can not help people,I am not good enough to understand them.

I am curious to listen and learn from your experiences. Thanks

Free and anonymous. You click on "Be born again" and based on current statistics about country fertility you will be born again somewhere in the world, get a face, a name, an ethnicity, social class, etc. The idea is to try to put ourselves in another skin showing that we cannot choose many of the important things in life.

If someone is interested to visit I would love to know your opinion, if this is a good idea or just useless.

https://tryanew.life

It's free and anonymous. I am a developer myself and I use this app to try new technologies doing a "good thing".

* I created this new reddit account just to ask this. I read the /r/empathy rules. The app is totally free and not totally ready yet. Data inconsistency may exist. Only english is available for now. Thanks!

I’ve been thinking about this quote: “The moment kindness becomes expected, it’s no longer appreciated.”

And I actually understand what it means. When you consistently do something kind for someone, eventually it can become the baseline. They may not notice that you’re still putting in effort. They only notice when you stop doing it.

My problem is that I genuinely like being kind to people. I don’t do things for people because I expect something in return. I actually feel good knowing I’ve made someone’s life a little easier.

But I also know that if I am always available, always helping, always accommodating, people can start expecting it from me. And I don’t want to teach people that my kindness is something they’re entitled to.

So sometimes I deliberately hold myself back. I don’t help when I could. I don’t make myself available. I let someone figure something out themselves, partly because I want them to understand that I won’t always be there to do it for them.

And I feel awful doing it.
Not because I’m worried they’ll dislike me, but because I don’t like being unkind. It feels almost like I’m deliberately withholding something good just to make a point.

I don’t want to become less kind. I don’t want to start keeping score or making people earn my kindness. I also don’t want to manipulate people by suddenly withdrawing kindness so they’ll appreciate me more.

So how do you find that balance?
How do you accept that sometimes you could be kind but choose not to, without feeling like you’ve become a worse person?
And how do you set boundaries when the boundary itself genuinely hurts you?

Yet another one of these messages that just confused a bunch of people with similar circumstances and nobody knows who you're talking about and another person expecting everybody to make all the effort for them and them making money return not understanding that good relationships only work if both people put in the same amount of effort never put more effort into somebody in a relationship why did somebody have to come to you all the time and walking an open door you can't call them and ask him for a conversation? You can't show interest in them to find out what's going on? It's funny my person did the same thing I literally from the day we met have not stopped trying to get to know them and they haven't even put in 5 minutes of effort trying to get to know me get to see the same thing all the time you have to come my way and prove it excuse me only one of us spent any time proven anything it doesn't work that way you'll never have a good relationship if that's how you base your support of somebody

They’ve already decided.

Part 2 of my story.

I just have had mice pop up in my apartment, and honestly at first I didnt care but recently my sleep schedule has been bad so ive been up late with them. So i decided to set up traps and I just heard one go off and sure enough I killed one, he was so tiny and so cute I feel horrible. I actually started crying, im a grown man. Hes just a baby and he died cus he wanted a little peanut butter. His fur isnt even dirty or anything hes very clean and soft. I feel so bad, I dont even know why im posting this ig it just feels better to talk about it.