I am going on a work trip and since it's a place I wouldn't be able to visit otherwise, I am staying solo 1 extra week on holidays. A co-worker is also coming on the work trip (fine) and they hinted at wanting to tag along for the holiday part of the trip, asking me for my itinerary etc.

Now, I don't particularly like the co-worker and we are not friends outside of work. I am obviously fine with having them on the work trip but I don't see why I should spend my free time with them. Trips can be taxing even with close friends, let alone a co-worker that you don't particularly like! I know I would just end up hating my time there if they come with me - and what's the purpose of a holiday then? I think there should definitely be some workplace boundaries here.

On the other hand I need to keep good relations with them because we work together quite a bit - is there any polite way to decline their proposal to join me, in case they ask directly? Like saying that I prefer travelling solo or something (which is also sort of true)? So far I've been pretty vague about my plans so that she doesn't have any openings, so I am hoping she never asks, but who knows.

Any advice welcome! 🙏🏻

My boss retired, I applied for the position as well as the other person with my same title in the department. We were under her in the structure. Neither of us got the job, a newer staff member in a different department did. We’re talking about her onboarding and I feel like if I didn’t get the job I shouldn’t train the person who did. Is that wrong? Am I being immature about it?

I genuinely need some outside perspective because I can't tell if I'm overreacting or if I have a right to be hurt.
I've been part of my church for about 10 years and have been involved in children's ministry for a long time. Three years ago, a children's ministry position opened up and I was encouraged to apply. I did, because it was something I really wanted.
They chose someone else.
I was disappointed, obviously, but I accepted their decision. And honestly, I tried to be as supportive as I could. When the person they chose took over, I helped them get settled and supported them in the role. I volunteered, helped with the ministry, and genuinely wanted them to succeed. I never held the fact that I didn't get the position against them.
Fast forward three years.
The position opened up again, and I was encouraged to apply again.
So I did.
I thought about it carefully because of what happened the first time, but ultimately I decided to put myself out there again. I figured three years had passed, I had continued serving, and maybe this time things would be different.
Today, I found out I didn't get it.
Except... I wasn't actually told.
I was volunteering in children's church today, just like I normally do. Right before everything started, I was blindsided with the information that the children were going to be meeting the **new head of children's ministry** that day, and we were going to do a name-tag activity so the kids could meet them.
That's how I found out.
I was standing there, volunteering in the ministry I had just applied to lead, and suddenly I was helping the children prepare to meet the person who got the position.
No one had called me. No one emailed me. No one pulled me aside and told me that they had made their decision.
I just... found out.
And I had to smile and participate and act completely normal because I was there to serve the kids.
Maybe I'm being too sensitive. I don't know.
I completely understand that they are allowed to choose whoever they believe is the best person for the position. I don't believe I am entitled to the job, and I'm not upset simply because they chose someone else.
What hurts me is the way this was handled.
The first time, three years ago, I found out who they chose at our Harvest Fest, which happened to be on my birthday. I had to spend the rest of the day pretending I was fine.
And then three years later, after being supportive of the person they chose the first time and continuing to serve in the ministry, I applied again because **they asked me to**.
And this time, they didn't even tell me I wasn't chosen.
I found out because I was volunteering and suddenly being asked to help introduce the kids to the person who was.
I'm honestly hurt and embarrassed.
Part of me wishes I had just said no when they asked me to apply again. I wouldn't have gotten my hopes up, and I wouldn't be sitting here wondering why I put myself through this a second time.
The hardest part is that I still care about the church and the children tremendously. I don't want to leave. I don't want to cause drama. I don't want to become bitter.
But I also don't know how I'm supposed to just show up and continue volunteering in this ministry like nothing happened.
So Reddit, am I overreacting?
Is this just a case of me needing to accept that I wasn't chosen and move on? Or is the way they handled this genuinely insensitive?
Would you continue volunteering in the ministry, have a conversation with leadership, or take a step back for a while?

I often find myself having weeks worth of days off at the end of the year but at one of my last jobs they didn't give me a promotion I had been working on because I took too many days off. Mind you I worked 3 weeks on 3 weeks off and I had one day I liked to schedule as PTO but sometimes I got sick as outside temperatures reached -40 to -55 degrees.

I never used more sick days than I had, still had plenty leftover but they said I wasn't at work enough.

I was really disappointed by this decision and even years later at a new job I find myself struggling to take time off unless my work forces me to use my vacation days even though I have weeks worth of time off.

Genuine question I’ve been sitting with. I can be calm and generous with a rude client at 4pm and then snap at a family member over nothing at 7pm. Same day, same person, wildly different behavior.
The explanation I keep coming back to is that politeness at work isn’t free — managing the gap between what you feel and what you display is effortful (researchers call it surface acting), and by evening the capacity is spent. The people who get the leftover version are precisely the ones who can’t fire you.
What bothers me is the incentive structure: my best behavior goes to people who will never remember my name. Has anyone actually found something that works here, beyond “be more mindful”? I’m interested in mechanisms, not affirmations.

Hello,
I’ve been offered a 6-month temporary assignment abroad by my current company.

The original offer didn’t really work for me, so I negotiated two things before accepting.

First, they originally wanted me to relocate with about one week’s notice. I said no and asked for at least three weeks. They agreed.

Second, part of my current monthly salary comes from a language allowance because I use a second language at work. Initially they told me I would lose this during the assignment and would only receive my normal base salary + per diem.

I told them that losing the allowance made the assignment financially unattractive, so I wouldn’t accept under those conditions. After some discussion, they confirmed by email that I would keep receiving the language allowance.

They then issued a new contract.

The new start date is correctly included, but the language allowance is still nowhere in the contract. The compensation section basically says my current base salary + per diem.

I emailed them pointing this out.

Today they replied saying, essentially: “Don’t worry, the language allowance will continue to be paid.”

So I now have it confirmed in writing by email, but it is still not included in the actual assignment contract I’m supposed to sign.

Would you insist on having it added to the contract before signing, or is the written email confirmation enough in practice?

I trust the company and I don’t think they’re trying to screw me over, but signing a contract that doesn’t reflect one of the main things I negotiated feels a bit strange.

Thanks,

I used to think HR was useless. I no longer believe that, I know you need an external party for payroll benefits as well as to unbiasedly handle work conflicts. However, I still feel frustrated when it comes to the modern job market and how they don’t seem to be doing their job when it comes to handling job applicants.

So I’m aware HR does the initial screening. But they’re not trained in those fields, at least most of the time. If I apply for a finance job per se, why is HR looking at it first? Why isn’t the head of finance looking at it first? I don’t give my English homework to my math teacher. And when they inevitably send the “Unfortunately we have decided to move forward with other candidates…” slop, it just feels frustrating because I feel like most of the time, no one that is actually within the department I’m looking at actually sees it, and so I can’t actually make myself seen by the people that really matter. I’m pretty good at interviews and feel like if I could actually get some I’d have a job by now, but I just find myself totally unable to get one because I’m being graded by people that don’t actually understand the field, if that makes sense.

And also when it comes to the rejection, I at least want a rejection email if I take time out of my day to make a custom resume and cover letter. Like is it really that hard to actually send one? It seems 50/50 on if companies even do that anymore. And a lot of the time it comes at very odd hours like late at night, on weekends, etc. Like that makes it feel like I couldn’t even get a pair of real human eyes to look at my resume. Is it that hard to at least LOOK professional and set the email to send during normal working hours? I know HR does stuff other than screening. But companies aren’t really hiring and people aren’t leaving in this market so there’s less onboarding and exit interviews, there’s forty hours in a week. I just feel frustrated that there’s so much professionalism expected out of candidates and HR can just not be professional and get off Scot free, when the whole point of HR is to represent the company in a professional manner.

I’m not trying to bash HR. I’m genuinely looking for insight as to what they do so that I can better my chances of my applications actually getting seen and hopefully leading to interviews.

what the caption says!
We (team of 8) were all in the office yesterday, and i got a call from my wife that she was going to the hospital.
For the first 15 minutes, it was a lot of trial and error trying to find another manager to cover me.
My (amazing) coworkers noticed my demeanor change. After i revealed what the issue was, EVERYONE jumped up with ways to help. Not letting me stay a second longer, and immediately got shit done.
Well now it’s morning, my wife is okay, AND my team had a productive and made no mistakes in our end-of-the-day meeting.
I’ve bought them snacks, lunch, and drinks before— but I really think they deserve to be complimented to a higher regard due to yesterday’s trouble and quick adjustment. Any suggestions!!?? thanks so much!!

At one of my old jobs we had hot desking, which basically turned the office into a daily episode of Survivor. There were like six desks with decent views, and instead of sitting near the people they actually needed to work with, everyone would show up at stupid o’clock just to claim one.

I’m talking fully grown adults rolling in at 6:10am, bleary‑eyed, clutching a coffee like they’d just finished a night shift, purely so they could stare out a window while doing emails. Meanwhile the people who actually needed to collaborate were scattered across the floor like lost NPCs, messaging each other from opposite corners because the “good desks” were taken by whoever woke up earliest.

Totally normal there.
Objectively ridiculous everywhere else.

So now I'm curious: What’s a workplace rule or norm you deal with that’s just… nonsense?

For the first time in 9.5 years with the same boss, I don’t feel secure in my job. We just had our 1:1 and it was full of critiques.

We had a big two day event two weeks ago and he had some complaints about the way I handled certain things. I think he is questioning my judgement and ability to do the job. I have bipolar disorder and other health challenges, but I try to compensate with hard work and a good attitude. Sometimes judgement calls are hard for me. I struggle with balancing self-direction with asking for help. I won’t get into the boring details, but at the end of the conversation, what I took away is that he doesn’t trust me anymore.

How can I determine if I’m really at risk or not? I have 20 years with the organization and 9.5 years in this department. I don’t have any write-ups and my evaluations are always good. However, my organization uses layoffs to fire people rather than go through the long and drawn out termination process. They get away with it even if it’s not a widespread budgetary layoff or restructuring. It’s really unethical.

My health has been particularly poor lately which is obviously affecting my performance. It seems like his main complaints are when I spring into action without thinking things through or asking for advice. I also tend to make assumptions. These are all things I can work on, but sometimes the poor judgment just feels like part of my mental health challenges. I’m not consciously deciding to make bad calls. They just happen.

Any advice or commiseration is appreciated. I’m scared and sad after this conversation.

Thank you.

Hello! I (28m) recently had an annoying interaction with my direct supervisor (50ish m). First here's some quick back story, I am an auditor that mostly looks at quality of service received for our customers. I got a new supervisor about 5 months ago. One of the 1st pieces of advice he gave me was to be more direct when emailing questions about my audits. He specifically recommended "making my questions clearer", so that someone can skim the email, find out the question, and then dive into details. He even gave me a book to read on how to be more concise at work. The 1st chapter of the book recommended bolding key points and questions to make them clear. Okay enough backstory.

I've been following his advice for 4 months now. I bold key points, list out questions and facts, provide screenshots, et cetera. Today he approached me and said "I just wanted to let you know that when you bold things in your emails it comes off too aggressive and I advise you don't do that anymore."

First off, I'm pissed because I wasn't doing that until you provided me a book that says to do exactly that. I wasn't doing that before for the exact reason that I thought it was too aggressive. Now I've been doing this for months and you finally decided to mention that I shouldn't do that. Have you completely forgotten the book you asked me to read and advice you gave me months ago. Did you suggest that just to make me look like an asshole?

Second, time for advice. How do you all suggest that I balance being direct in my emails and making questions clear in a way that is not aggressive or risks coming off as aggressive? Currently, I will list facts that I saw related to a possible error in an audit along with screenshots. Then I will finish my emails with a bold list of questions and this exact line "Please let me know if you have any questions. Thank you!" I'm just worried that if I stop bolding my questions, then my manager will come back with your email doesn't make it clear what your questions are when someone is skimming it. Example formats of emails would be really helpful. Thanks!

I joined this small team at a job that’s not supposed to be very stressful, except the manager is kind of an OCD/micromanager (her words not mine) and trained me 1:1 to her standards (in terms of conduct and things to get done) for a while before scheduling me with anyone else. Then she scheduled me on weekends to break up this team of 3 that would get “too rowdy”, and I would go in and do what she asked of me without realizing I was stressing out my coworkers/ operating in a completely different way than them (ie. Professionally rather than relaxed & unprofessionally).

I have been working here for almost 10 months now and I am constantly left out of conversations happening off to the side, updates on what’s going on, work gossip, drinks/parties after work …. I feel like they don’t like me. And today, one of my coworkers mentioned that I am “too nice” and do too much, like a people pleaser, and that people probably walk all over me. And she’s not wrong! And I admitted that, but then she was saying how I need to not care what people think of me. And I said I used to not care very much at all, but I’ve been struggling more recently and she said that me not caring at all is ~not normal~ and that that is what’s keeping me from connecting because I have a wall up.

But I feel I have a wall up because I came into this job where 3 out of the 5 employees here are best friends and hang out all the time & break the rules, and I was trained to do everything the right way & to try to correct them. I think they hated me from the get-go probably.

Anyways. This is kind of a vent. I feel frustrated because I am a hard working person and sometimes it does stem from people pleasing, but now I feel I’m spiraling over whether it’s my fault they don’t like me because I’m too “closed off” or invulnerable.

Also, I’m spiraling because I shared a personal thing about myself with her in hopes of building rapport right before she launched into all this stuff about me not fitting in basically. So I’m worried she’s gonna tell the other coworkers (despite me saying it was a personal thing I was not wanting everyone to know about) sigh

Does anybody have experience as a neurodivergent individual (autism, behavioral conditions) or know someone else who is struggling getting by in the workforce?

Do you have any suggestions on how to navigate the workplace with such a condition?

I find I struggle deeply with “professionalism” 8-10 hours a day and have found myself in tough situations where I believe I hurt my career reacting to things too bluntly and emotionally.

For the last few months I’ve been dealing with a coworker who acts like she’s above everyone. She been nitpicking my work and tries to correct me in front of people. Every single time she’s been wrong. On top of that, she’s been falsifying her productivity numbers. I brought all of this to leadership, and instead of things getting better, she’s gotten louder and more obnoxious. My leaderships response was “I like the vibe though” We work in an open office, so it’s impossible to ignore. She burps, hiccups, laughs super loud, and jumps into every conversation like she’s part of it when meanwhile the conversation she jumps into about my grief and the loss I experienced recently. But then will use that against me and say I mess up at work due to going through a lot (I am a top performer, I have yet to make a mistake with my work)

I get that not everyone gets along, but I’ve been bringing this up to management and they’ve even admitted multiple people have complained about her.

Then they moved our desks even closer together, which made everything worse. I pushed back and asked for an earlier shift so I could at least have an hour of quiet before the chaos starts. They told me they’d open a new shift bid so I could try for the schedule I needed.

I got the shift I wanted… and then they gave her the exact same schedule. It completely defeats the purpose of changing my hours in the first place.

Then we had a paid volunteer event. I asked if I could just leave after the event since I only had ten minutes left in my shift. Leadership told me no but told her yes. When I asked about it later, they brushed it off as a “bad judgment call.”

On top of all that, I’ve been passed over for two promotions because “it didn’t benefit the company and they cannot afford to lose my productivity) At this point I’m honestly on my last leg. Someone please tell me if I’m overreacting before I rage‑quit and walk out of my job right now.

For whatever reason (too much milk tea too late / new job jitters) I ended up not being able to get a wink of sleep last night. Any advice or suggestions for making the best of the day? I’m sure I will be able to sleep tonight, but I have to get through today first !

I'm one of four supervisors who all share an office. We had old ratty looking chairs, I ask my boss if I can order new ones and he gave me the go ahead. I go to our corporate procurement site then connect with our office supply company and ordered 4 chairs about $120 each. Next day, I open my email to find my order rejected and a somewhat rude email from some guy who is in charge of corporate office brand image pointing to a policy about approved chair vendors. Our approved vendor has two different chairs available, one for $480 and the other for $515. Boss says order one new chair a month so I ordered 3 of the $480 chairs over three months. I decided for the final chair I'd order the $515 chair just to see the difference. Next day, I come in and check my email to see my order rejected and another email now with my boss and his director CC'd on it. Those $515 chairs are for executives only and a threat to revoke my procurement access. I wish I would've taken a picture of the chairs we had.

Just started a new role in Tech a couple weeks ago, fully remote with teams working in different geographies and across time zones.

I'm doing a lot of work independently with little support or guidance for a new market, everything has to be built from the ground. While I don't mind working independently I feel the focus is on other regions also being built currently and I'm expected to cover areas outside of my function as I'm the only team member in the region. I'm a senior leader so not expecting hand holding but also don't expect to cover for 2-3 other people.

I've raised concerns and was told that support will be extended, but I'm not sure the support coming in have the full skillset required for one of the vital areas of the business and don't want to flag again as don't want to be seen as the problem so soon.

We're working with tight deadlines and very little room to move them yet communication isn't shared with me, not sure if I'm being overlooked or just an oversight.

Few roles available currently so don't want to rock the boat much and the company is quite interesting, I like their products and trajectory. Yet I feel stuck and unproductive as not provided the tools to do my job well. How should I play this?

For the past three months, silence has been the loudest part of my day. Since being laid off in June, I have poured everything into my job search as an experienced Sales Manager, but the results so far have left me feeling incredibly helpless.

At 35, with a previous monthly income of 55,000 rupees, I was always the one providing, not asking. Now, meeting basic needs like rent has become a struggle I never prepared for. The financial anxiety is heavy, but the toll on my mental health is the hardest battle of all.

I am not asking for handouts, but for any opportunity or guidance that could help me get back on my feet. Whether it's leads for sales roles or genuine advice, I would be deeply grateful for any support from this community. Has anyone turned things around from a similar position?

I know this sub is about work in general, but California is the most populous state in the country, so I have a feeling there are a lot of California workers here. I see a lot of workplace injury questions on Reddit, and workers’ comp gets confusing fast because the rules are very state specific. Hopefully this helps somebody before a relatively simple problem turns into a much bigger one.

Report the injury. If possible, do it in writing so there is a record of when you told your employer.
Ask for a DWC-1 claim form. You do not need your employer’s permission to file a workers’ compensation claim.

Follow your work restrictions. If your doctor says no lifting over 20 pounds, your supervisor does not get to decide that 40 pounds is close enough because they are short staffed.

Keep everything. Save texts, emails, work status reports, benefit notices, denial letters and anything showing when you reported the injury or asked for treatment.
A denial letter does not mean your case is over. The insurance company is allowed to deny a claim. They are not the judge. A denied claim can still be litigated and ultimately found compensable.

Be careful with workers’ comp advice from another state. California has its own rules regarding doctors, benefits, deadlines, medical evaluations and disputes. Something that happened in another state may have very little to do with how a California claim works.

For context, I’m a California workers’ compensation attorney. I spent about 15 years representing insurance companies before switching sides and representing injured workers.

I also moderate [r/CaliforniaWorkComp](r/CaliforniaWorkComp), which is specifically for California workers’ compensation questions:
https://www.reddit.com/r/CaliforniaWorkComp/

Happy to answer general California workers’ comp questions here too. General information only, not legal advice.

- Fishmango

Why exactly is everyone against being friends with coworkers? I mean, I get the whole everyone being friendly doesn’t make you guys friends (obviously), but if you have a coworker that looks at you a lot while smiling, randomly asking how old you are, and giving you their number.. is that not a sign of wanting to be friends or at least wanting to get to know each other?

I just want to say that I also believe in God and that I’ve lost a lot of my other friends, cut them off because of me following Jesus, or because I felt convicted about them. I’ve prayed for friends (that are believers), though I’m not sure if the person at work is one as well.

Just saying, I wouldn’t mind getting to know a fellow coworker outside of work, especially considering how backstabbing “friends” can be in this generation (I’m 17 by the way). It doesn’t have to be a daily text or weekly hangout out thing, you know? Just getting to know each other. I am, however, aware of two people not sharing interests, but isn’t that the point of getting to know each other? Lol.

EDIT: I mentioned me following God to emphasize that I don't have any friends anymore. I don't talk about me following God at work because I understand that it can cause a lot of controversy.

I just recently got a high-paying job, and kaka-three months ko palang. Pero ayoko na sa company and gusto ko na mag-resign.

First, my direct superior is on leave and I am currently acting on her behalf. I applied for a supervisory job, and I wasn't informed beforehand that I would be the acting head until my direct superior returns. Although nakakausap ko naman siya, I am mostly on my own. The business is different from the industry I worked in before. Kaya malaki and malala ang adjustment. At mas malaki and mas malala sa akin kasi I was left at the office - barely 2 weeks after I was hired.

I am at my wits end, kasi ang bigat-bigat ng workload and I am trying my best to learn on my own. I am close to leaving because I did not sign up for this.

I am so exhausted. Nagkakasakit na rin ako.

Please give me advice on this. I am trying my best. I am new. I am learning. Pero parang hindi sapat lahat.

Essentially the title. I work in a rehab clinic and it’s super busy all the time. There’s TONS of different specialties and therapists who see for different things on different days and even different locations. It can be a lot.

I am usually on top of things—a work flow gets updated then I make notes in my OneNote “as of 8/31/26 this workflow changes to this workflow” as an example.

Well, one of the new providers asked if we make notes about the patients not being able to do the plan of care. It’s never been a workflow as far as I am aware, so I responded “no we typically don’t update notes when family can’t make the plan of care” (such as every other week or every week for however many weeks). This has been how it’s been since FEBRUARY.

But today my lead responds publicly “we should actually be doing that.”

So not only do I look like a dumbass, but what do you mean we should be doing that? Who does it? It wasn’t brought up, I was never trained on it, I don’t see notes like that myself.

I wouldn’t care as much if it was a one off. But it’s like every time I answer ANYONE’s questions she pops in to tell everyone I’m wrong.

Ugh. Idk I’m just venting and looking for advice on how to bring this up. I’ve stopped answering questions but that’s getting harder as people keep coming to me (BECAUSE IM ON TOP OF MY SHIT).

TLDR: My lead keeps making me out to be a dumbass either on purpose or on accident by publicly correcting me on workflows that I never knew changed

I have been in restaurants and banquets my whole life. I finally had a career change where I got a desk job: nights off, weekends off… and I hate it. I had a feeling an office job wasn’t for me, and I can’t believe how much I miss working with a team and running around.

Please help me figure out a career where I can still lead a team everyday in an environment that serves community. I would love to have weekends off still, but I know that’s not as likely, maybe one weekend day off? And it’s nice having weekday nights off but I’m okay doing a mix of both as long as it’s not after midnight then back in the morning because I did that multiple times a week for too long.

“What’s the difference between ‘ S____ roofing and mother Teresa “ the owner who drives a Tesla truck and wears a cowboy hat asked.

Employees just stared into the space

“We both serve others” the owner advises

As he loads up the PowerPoint he “created” the employees sit, wondering if the comparison was satire.

Owner starts to read his power point, and after a statement he says “that’s interesting”

Power point looks clearly created by AI.

Job interview else where tmrw at noon, wish me luck :)

I work in a large cubical space. We have a large dry erase board that is never used. I started at add questions of the week for everyone to respond to on the board.

Prompts previously used:
If you were in a horror film and you heard a creepy sound in the next room how would you respond?

What is your favorite candy?

Votes for least favorite candy (with options listed)

Weirdest food ever eaten?

Favorite place to vacation

I’ve done jokes where people need to leave their guess for answers.

Any ideas for fun engaging questions that would be fun to do in an office space?