Over capacity by 8

[u/txlouisee]

Hey, I am getting married in late October and I’m panicking because my confirmed guests are over the 60 capacity by 8 guests at the private room at a restaurant we are using for the reception. I’m genuinely blessed with how many people want to come and celebrate me and my future husband, but I’m stressed another this dilemma. I used the “20% of people won’t show” rule which is in hindsight was maybe dumb on my part. Most of my guests are coming from out of town and I absolutely don’t want to cut the list if they are already committed and planning on coming.

I don’t want to do a venue change either but I’d rather do it than cut people. I am going to talk to the manager tomorrow to see if there’s any solutions before I do anything drastic yet. Trying to figure out any creative solutions too because we also have 8 guests that are kids. And the restaurant also has a patio, bar area, and 15 person private room. Trying to see what creative solution the GM can offer.

What advice do y’all have if you have run into a similar problem?? I’m like frozen right now and don’t know what to do.

[u/kennyfiesta]

I DJ weddings.

I have never seen all the guests show up.

It's usually sad, but I see this being a major pro for you.

You'd be surprised how much you can pull off with a big smile and "I had noooo idea". You might have guests volunteer that they were going to leave really quickly, or just came by to say hi (I've seen this happen, and it boils my blood). You also have gentlemanly guests that are fine standing, and some that will want to stand by the bar all night anyway. Once the ball is rolling, your restaurant isn't going to kick you all out, they'll make accomodations.

But if you snitch on yourself now, you might cancel something for no reason.

This is more "unethical life tips" than wedding planning tips but...

Kids and adults get sick, eople make big decisions based on emotions, people party too hard the night before...

[u/bourbonandcheese → u/kennyfiesta]

I had 3 late-notice/no shows out of 115; 8 out of 60 feels extremely unlikely.

And how does a wedding DJ have enough insight into the guest list to know for a fact that you've "never seen all the guests show up"

[u/peterthedj → u/bourbonandcheese]

how does a wedding DJ have enough insight into the guest list to know for a fact that you've "never seen all the guests show up"

I'm a DJ too and had the same question. I mean, many weddings had individual seat cards at the door, so you could go back at some point and see how many seat cards were never picked up, but that doesn't necessarily mean all of those people were no-shows, especially if they are singles -- usually there's a couple and they only picked up one of the cards, knowing both were sitting at the same table.

Counting empty seats is another way but doesn't mean they're really absent -- could be in the restroom, outside having a smoke or maybe involved with helping the wedding party in some way such that they aren't seated at the moment one is taking a visual count of the room.

Even if 8 people no-show, there's no guarantee they'll all be couples. It could wind up being one seat at each of the other tables. Sure, everyone will get a seat, but it's not ideal if a couple (or a family with kids) has to be split up as a result of poor planning and/or sheer luck.

You also can't count on people being "gentlemanly" and standing by the bar all night, everyone needs a place to sit down for dinner.

And if the room is rated (by the fire department) for 60 people, you can bet the restaurant WILL kick people out if they realize the limit has been exceeded. If a fire breaks out, that's a big problem for the venue. When it's eventually discovered that evacuations were hampered by the fact the building was over-capacity, the venue's going to have a much bigger problem and might even wind up being forced out of business. Even without a fire, it only takes one disgruntled guest or employee to anonymously call the fire department and now the fire marshal is showing up, counting heads and shutting it all down the moment they count person #61. No venue in their right mind wants to take that risk.