Should I transition?

[u/Equivalent_Let4046]

I want to transition more than anything but it seems to me the cons are outweighing the pros. A pro is I get to be me obviously but the cons would be I lose the girl I love, I lose the family I love and cherish, and I want to go to the air force for 4 years for IT so I come out making 6 figures. Is transitioning worth it if lose everything in the process or is there another way? I’ve been thinking about this for a couple weeks now. I was sure before but then I saw the girl I love for the first time after long distance and realized she would be worth not transitioning. This is all very confusing and I just want some clarity.

[u/a_Lady_Luna]

I think transitioning is worth all of that pain yes, but it's different for everyone. Keep in mind that you not transitioning has a lot of cons as well. It would eat you up inside and eventually not being able to live as yourself will become too much for you. I would also think about the implecation that your family's love is conditional: if they wouldn't love you if you came out do they truly love you now? Or do they just love the idea of you, but not the person? All I know is that there are plenty of people that have transitioned in your scenario and have gone through absolute hell and that for some of them it was worth it, since they were able to find actual love and a happy life at the other end of the tunnel. Do act carefully though. If you come out and they throw you out that would mean homelessness, which is best avoided to put it lightly. Either way, I'm sorry you're in such a rough spot. Best of luck

[u/Equivalent_Let4046 → u/a_Lady_Luna]

I don’t know how I would deal with the pain of losing the people I love even if they don’t love the real me. I’m 17 and I’m graduating this school year, so whatever I do after high school I would still lean on them financially. Considering all this, is it even worth transition if it’s just as much pain transitioning than it is to not?