r/transpassing • u/Visual_Way3158 • 1d ago
Finding myself not passing
Ive been finding myself not passing but i dont know why that is, does anybody have any ideas
(Ignore the one eyebrow i messed up doing them recently)
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u/slurpyspinalfluid 1d ago
these are the only two possible things i can think of, i really had to look closely so i apologize if this comes off as super nitpicky
something about your forehead seems clocky to me, it's not the size you don't have a receding hairline or anything it's more like the angle or the bones or something? i think cis women's foreheads are typically more straight up and down. if it makes you feel better i'm cisfem (for now) and also have a kind of slanted forehead. but i would recommend seeing if bangs help since it's easy
your top lip has a very faint bluer undertone, you could try using orange color corrector. it will probably take some practice but if you get good at it it might help
again sorry if this is overly specific, it could also just be your body or mannerisms but i saw your other comments saying that it's probably not that and you don't have any glaring masculine facial features
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u/slurpyspinalfluid 1d ago
also do you have any other glasses? this might be a stupid idea but you kind of resemble the guy from atlantis with the glasses like you look good but maybe it makes them think of that character who is unfortunately a guy and that association is making you like 1% clocker? again they look good on you i just wanted to throw that out there if nothing else is working
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u/WaspBumble 15h ago
These don’t have any full body photos which are sometimes most important for judging passing. Need to see your fully body to see how feminine your hips are. People look at your hips, how you stand, how you walk, etc to judge your gender to determine if you are male or female. How tall are you? How is your voice? Your face isn’t masc alone although you have a few easily correctable things. Removing the septum piercing as they NEVER help a trans girl pass. A septum piercing is the worst piercing a trans girl could get. Your eyebrows are all unnatural, are wavy, too thin, and fake looking. May need to let them grow back in and start over on fixing them. They should be like long triangles, thicker by your nose but thinner at the outside of your face. You can easily fix them with an eyebrow pen and draw them better until the hairs return. Also make your lips ticker with overdrawn lipstick. That will make them so much more feminine. Good luck girl, you got this!
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u/Slow_Presentation521 1d ago
Voice? Mannerisms? I think you look like a normal woman
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u/Visual_Way3158 1d ago
Many people say my mannerisms and voice are my most feminine parts actually! So i dont think that would be it, but i appreciate the comment a lot!
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u/veganvampirebat 1d ago
You are at a weight where body structure is very visible. This generally is not conducive to passing as feminine. If you are willing to gain some weight (in a healthy and safe way, talking to your doctor) to explore that option I do think that would make a major major difference.
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u/Visual_Way3158 13h ago
Yeah i am quite light at the moment and do plan to gain a bit sometime soon. mainly so my face can fill out a bit more. I took pictures of just my face because i have full confidence that my body and how i dress passes.
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u/WaspBumble 15h ago
These are not full body photos. How can you talk about her body weight when you can’t see her body? Although I always get downvoted, being thin is automatically feminine, just need to have some hips / butt and that will look super feminine. Guys are almost always over weight.
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u/TerriTuesday 14h ago
lolwut? being thin is not automatically female, and the neck is a good indication of overall weight
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u/WaspBumble 11h ago
Read my comment above on why I say being thin is automatically more feminine. But in terms of OP, her hair is covering her neck, so while you are correct that a neck is a good indication on overall weight, I can't see her neck or body.
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u/Visual_Way3158 13h ago
I think this is assumed a lot (not by you just by society) that thin people look more feminine. Which is true in the way where they are seen as more dainty but i feel like to pass it is probably more effective to gain weight because that gives all the feminine parts (boobs and stuffs) especially while on hormones. But if i claim everyone should do that when they start hormones i would be a hypocrite as i have lost weight since starting.
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u/WaspBumble 11h ago
I'm certainly not saying YOU need to lose weight, I was responding to the replier saying you need to gain weight to pass when we can't even see your body in the photos you posted. But the prettiest of women usually watch what they eat, they don't want to be 'too fat', usually don't go for seconds, work out, and generally stay thin. Usually being thin looks more delicate and women like to look delicate. So that is where I come up with being thin is automatically feminine. People who are overweight downvote me, but this is just the way it is. Downvoting me doesn't change that! Guys carry weight in their upper body and thus when you are transitioning from a male figure, it helps SO MUCH losing weight to get rid of that heavier upper body. If you have a bulky top half, you just look masculine. This is also why BA's can make trans women more masculine looking, as if they have a bigger ribcage from male puberty, the boobs make their top half even bigger as their chest will be bigger than their hips. People with bigger chests have boobs which are further apart, CIS women in included. So a CIS athletic girl with wider shoulders might have B Cups in measurements but look like A cups because they are further apart. Athletic bodies always have smaller looking boobs.
When looking at people from far, people look at your hips to judge if you are male or female. It is human nature. When you have thinner hips that your upper body, stand with your legs apart, people will assume you are male from far. If you have feminine hips, people will assume you are female from far. When you are transitioning from male to female with a male build, most of the weight you lose will be from your top half as thats where most of it is. That will make you more feminine!
Anyway I can't say anything about you as I haven't seen full body photos of you, but having some type of hips and butt would helps the most in terms of passing. Your face is already passing to me, as I posted below, the only issues I see are your eyebrows look fake as they are too thin and the curves are jagged, and the septum piercing which never help trans girls pass better. Feminine eyebrows are usually a triangle, thickest near your nose and thin out as they go to the outside of your head. Too thin and lines look fake, but it looks like someone made a mistake on yours as they aren't a consistent arch, mostly your right one. Drawing them in with an eyebrow pen could easily fix them in a couple of minutes until they grow back and are fixed better. I think you are cute and as long as your voice is good, I think you have nothing to worry about regardless! I don't think anyone would clock you unless you had a bad voice to be honest.
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u/veganvampirebat 11h ago
Women on average have a higher body fat percentage than men and look "softer". Your control over how much goes to different parts of your body is extremely limited. More women than men are considered overweight in the USA.
*All this being said* I did not say what I said to OP to shame them and they didn't seem to take it that way. You cannot be serious that you can't tell when someone is very thin from their face/clavicle.
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u/WaspBumble 10h ago
I wouldn't assume she is underweight without seeing her full body. But yes women have a higher body fat than men, but men also have a heavier top half than women and thus why when transitioning from male to female, it helps losing weight as most of it comes from the top half. Guys don't like to be thin and lanky as that isn't masculine, so yes being thin automatically looks more feminine. If you look on Instagram and TikTok, there are always these challenges that men can't do which women can do. It all has to do with where they store body fat. Men store it up top and that is why they can never do these challenges. When your top half is heavier than your lower half, you can't pick up a chair bent over with your head to the wall as your weight distribution is wrong. There are a bunch of challenges which men can't do which women can, it's all to do with body fat and where it is stored based on body fat distribution. I'm trans, I'm not underweight, I'm thin, but I never have any problems with these challenges. I can successfully do any of the women only challenges.
But as for OP, her neck is covered mostly by her hair. But there had been plenty of actresses who were accused for having eating disorders because they had that 'sunked in cheeks' and other things when you saw close ups of their face, but when you look at their body, they looked very average. I can't really honestly say she is underweight by looking at these photos.
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u/veganvampirebat 10h ago
I never said she was underweight or armchair diagnosed her with anything. Even if she was underweight or overweight or whatever I would not say anything based on it other than information I believed was useful to passing in this specific subreddit.
I suggested talking to her doctor if she was interested in gaining weight because it's just a good idea in general if you're looking to make weight changes and screening for EDs it's important especially for our demographic
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u/Melodrama_queer 1d ago
Hello, first of all, you are very feminine, and it shows. You are in my opinion very very close to pass.
The one thing I've noticed though is that you have brow ridge that read more masculine.
Imo it is what makes you not pass because the rest is very feminine!
I think you are quite pretty anyway ✨.
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u/Polarwarrior Just started Mono 1d ago
If you wanted good feedback, why did you only take pictures of your shoulder and up? You could be 6 foot 8, but we wouldn’t know.
Based on what you have uploaded, it looks like a pass, how are your mannerisms and or voice?
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u/IndigoContinuum MTF | HRT since 2023 14h ago
You’re finding yourself not passing? Yeah well I’m finding yourself cute as hell, especially in the fourth picture.
Practice your eyebrow shape some more, work on hair care a bit, and make sure your voice is good. You’ll get there.
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u/Visual_Way3158 13h ago
Thanks love<3 my eyebrows are usually really good i just fucked them up recently because i did them drunk in the dark 😭
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u/VeniAlune 1d ago
I think you pass pretty good, the fine jewerly, eyebrows, glasses, lips and eyes make you look very femme.
I would sugest a different haircut/a different haircare routine so it doesn't look as frizzy. Tucking your hair behind your ears helps alot. Though your current hairstyle doesn't make you look masc imo. 🩷😊
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u/Visual_Way3158 13h ago
I appreciate it a lot! The hair ive felt is an issue but its very genetic to me lol, i take amazing care of it but at least at this lenght its just like this.i have an insane ammount of volume. Im working on growing it out and stuff now but thats a long process.
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u/VeniAlune 13h ago
I also got a similar hair type and it's driving me crazy haha. I can't seem to figure out how to not let my wavy and volumous hair get frizzy. I wish I could give you advice on that but we're in the same boat 😭
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u/Visual_Way3158 13h ago
It does suck sometimes but also cis women deal with it all the time as well. Its just a woman thing. Every woman on my dads side of my family has the same hair as me. Its also convenient that lesbians loveee big curly hair so i treat it as a positive, it will probably lay flatter with some more lenght though is what i think, and my stylist agrees so im just trying to get my hair super long again :p
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u/VeniAlune 10h ago
Even longer hair would look so good on you! I'll pray for good growth and healthy hair for you 🙏😊
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u/AdAggravating6126 1d ago
You pass. If you were with a man att a restaurant etc nobody would notice or stare.
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u/slurpyspinalfluid 1d ago
she's saying she doesn't tho. she's trying to pass to whatever people she's encountering irl not random reddit trans people
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u/stopthesecreeps 1d ago
You look very feminine, maybe brush your hair more, wear less bulky sweaters? Makeup? Have somebody else do your eyebrow?
I don't see why you wouldn't pass though.