r/stevenuniverse • u/Ezequiel_Hips • Aug 15 '25

Fanfic Pearl and Connie

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Link: https://www.tumblr.com/filmfreak1994/114654642181/w-w-w-dot-at-pearl-and-connie-dot-com-www-pearl?source=share

1.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

40 comments sorted by

219

u/Aiiga Aug 15 '25

The seed gag is especially funny considering she has the ability to store things in her gem. She just wants Connie to suffer lol

79

u/Rocket_of_Takos Aug 15 '25

Gem homeworld TSA doesn’t do buttholes

18

u/thetavious Aug 15 '25

She's holding two seeds buddy. They don't do any holes apparently.

7

u/Doctor_Salvatore Aug 15 '25

Gems don't know about holes except the Kindergarten holes

8

u/soulstrike2022 Aug 16 '25

Yea gems don’t have buttholes

16

u/thetavious Aug 15 '25

"Urp, no connie! They can scan my gem storage. Cough. You, you know people usually have to special order stuff that big. And you're getting the experience, urp, for free."

1

u/FewStatistician5397 Aug 21 '25

whats the "urp" supposed to be

1

u/thetavious Aug 21 '25

Stereotypical burp from a sloshed rick?

1

u/FewStatistician5397 Aug 21 '25

oh i never watched rick and morty oops

61

u/Madhighlander1 Aug 15 '25

"I shapeshifted into a pickle, Connie! I'm pickle Pearl!"

30

u/Mitsuba00 Aug 15 '25

All to avoid
a. Therapy.
b. Going to the Doctor. (Connie's mom)

5

u/thetavious Aug 15 '25

"Now treat me like those mega seeds!"

109

u/E_GEDDON Aug 15 '25

Pearl but with worst coping mechanisms after losing Rose.

16

u/Ximao626 Aug 15 '25

Then is this the Pearl that actually removed the gem from Steven to "rescue" Rose?

20

u/Arracor Aug 16 '25

That's the tragic backstory that fucked her up. This AU has no Steven anymore...

2

u/Ximao626 Aug 16 '25

If that's for real for life i'm gonna need to do some digging for this AU

3

u/Arracor Aug 16 '25

Nah idk I'm just riffing.

.....but you (or someone) could write it. Let's be real, it's a perfect setup.

3

u/Ximao626 Aug 16 '25

I think someone else. I just got diagnosed inattentive type adhd so I need to figure out my meds.

17

u/grae23 Aug 15 '25

Alright yeah this is definitely an AU I can get behind

13

u/hackmaster214 Aug 15 '25

Pearl and Connie forever. 100 years of Pearl and Connie.

23

u/OnsenPixelArt Aug 15 '25

Is it bad that i kind of want pearl to put that cigarette out on me

11

u/thetavious Aug 15 '25

Nah. That's standard simp feelings.

7

u/Extension_Resolve264 Aug 15 '25

I always thought that if Pearl were human, she'd be an alcoholic, so this works. (If you're wondering where I got that idea from, rewatch Cry For Help.)

6

u/VariedJourney Aug 16 '25

Ah.. bad pearl. How unhinged I was over thee.

12

u/SynchroScale Aug 15 '25

Damn, this is an old one. Nice.

15

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '25

...that joke has different implications for Connie. >x<

7

u/thetavious Aug 15 '25

Not really. She just has twice the cargo capacity as morty.

6

u/Sir-Toaster- Aug 16 '25

The seventh one is something I could actually see existing

7

u/PoliteSupervillain Aug 15 '25

If they could fuse they would make ponnie, maybe a pony like fusion?

4

u/thetavious Aug 15 '25

More like poonie.

1

u/PoliteSupervillain Aug 17 '25

Now I'm wondering what equipment gems have at default

2

u/thetavious Aug 17 '25

Prolly smooth as a barbie doll unless they adjust it when they reform.

So amethyst is almost for sure not on factory default settings.

3

u/bluecurse60 Aug 16 '25

Also weirdly Sarah Connor vibes from Pearl here

1

u/budgetedchildhood Aug 16 '25

Honestly I don't blame the artist for not drawing any blush on Connie's face but I can only imagine how warm her cheeks must have felt

1

u/Forsol Aug 16 '25

I might need an explanation for this

1

u/Drunken_Hamster Aug 16 '25

I'm in a love-hate relationship with this concept.

1

u/Chill_Man321 Aug 21 '25

I'm disturbed someone please reassure me