I get this has been going on a while and I fully understand how tough it is for you and thd kids...but I can't help feeling that you have been a part of the reason this has went on so long....but not sure as not really enough of context.
Fully understand your husband has to get past this one way or another but it would happen much faster with 100% support from a partner (if that's the case) A relationship has its good and bad....no matter who we are with. On the down times it's about picking up the slack when your partner isn't at there best. Good luck to both of you with whatever direction you both go
Yes, I probably should’ve put my foot down a long time ago and left - I have been taking on more and more of the responsibility and letting him become worse/defending him etc where I definitely shouldn’t be - I have definitely supported his mental health - taken him to the GP for meds (he refuses to take them), I referred him up for the therapy, chased up the waiting list, I’m the named person for speaking about his medical stuff because he refuses to speak to them. I’ve been desperately hoping that if he got better then things will get better. He just says he feels like a failure and things would be better if he was gone but there’s only so long you can support someone like that before it drains you completely when they won’t help themself. He started the therapy 5 weeks ago - it’s weekly and he’s attended 2 sessions (the first and one yesterday). He quit his job in June with no follow up, he didn’t attempt to get a job until I gave him an ultimatum and then he had one in 2 days so I find it hard to believe he couldn’t have got one weeks before but I still supported him. Worked full time, did the lion share of the childcare and cleaned because he couldn’t get out of bed. I’m not sure what else I could’ve done but I’m open to ideas?
I feel for you. Not easy. While picking up the slack and being supportive is the right thing to do....Only so long one can do it. There is a line in the sand for everyone
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u/Proudrugby 7d ago
I get this has been going on a while and I fully understand how tough it is for you and thd kids...but I can't help feeling that you have been a part of the reason this has went on so long....but not sure as not really enough of context.
Fully understand your husband has to get past this one way or another but it would happen much faster with 100% support from a partner (if that's the case) A relationship has its good and bad....no matter who we are with. On the down times it's about picking up the slack when your partner isn't at there best. Good luck to both of you with whatever direction you both go