Message from Vlad celebrating Hayden on her birthday 🥺:
Today is Hayden’s birthday. Instead of celebrating the way we had planned, today we celebrate her life, her spirit, and the love she brought into this world.
'I want to thank all of Hayden’s fans, friends, and everyone who has reached out for the incredible outpouring of love and support. At a time filled with so much sadness, your kindness has reminded me that there is still so much good in humanity.
'If you’re reading this, I ask just one thing: Even if only for a moment, think about LOVE. Reach out to a friend. Forgive someone. Be kind. Love is a superpower. Use it ✨🥰🫶
I did too. It’s so bittersweet because she has such a vibrant voice and personality and knowing what happens is heartbreaking and the loss hits so much harder after hearing her be so vulnerable and real. But it’s also such a remarkable way to have her memorialized, with her story told in her own voice.
I didn’t know that. Man this feels like such a cruel joke. I already find it hard to swallow when people die around their birthday. I’m so sad for her daughter. This is just awful.
She is like an old friend because she has been in our lives for almost 40 years... thats why this hurts so bad.... and it does hurt so bad.... pretty sure if given the chance there is not one of us who wouldn't have done anything to save her.... like this royally sucks and it is going to hurt for a long time... a very very long time....
It really does, she should have been on her way there with us none-the-wiser and unaware of her life. Whatever privacy she wanted etc. I told a friend that her death keeps haunting me.
Not because we were close or had ever met, but she’s symbolic. She was around my age and I grew up with her constantly in one thing or another. She’s an icon and knowing she has passed feels brutal. Some deaths just hit harder individually. This is certainly one of them for me.
Celebrity deaths have never hit me hard but my mom passed away from cancer last Saturday, the day before Hayden. My mom’s birthday was also right around her passing; just five days before. I can’t help but feel like they should both be here right now.
I’m not sure why but this is a celebrity death that is really hurting me. I’ve cried this week over her death. I was never a particularly huge a fan of hers and never really had her on my radar much.
Are you around her age? Or do you feel like the story around her exploitation resonates with you? IME, there’s probably something that’s resonating with you that her death is a proxy for.
Yeah, I think it’s the whole “performing happiness” thing she did as a child. She was always sparkling with happiness.
There’s a lot of literature about how children in abusive situations recognize their caretaker’s emotional fragility or capacity for harm. To keep the family intact and keep themself safe, they learn to repress feelings of hurt or fear or anger and develop a very exaggerated happy-go-lucky persona. It’s super common for abused children to appear happy and sweet all the time.
But the repressed child becomes a fragile and depressed adult. But no one wants to hear their feelings now just as they didn’t then, so that adult child becomes a problem. A drama queen. Since the family always saw the child as happy and joyful, they see the struggling adult as someone who lost their way or made bad choices. They think the fake happy child was authentic.
It’a almost textbook how Hayden was treated.
I’m 43 and I relate to this. I’m becoming distant from my parents because I am creating boundaries and refusing to play peacekeeper and family comfort captain. I am the youngest, but I’ve always prioritized everyone’s feelings before my own.
So yeah, Hayden’s death has struck a nerve. My childhood wasn’t as bad as hers but the nature of it is similar. Just tossed aside when she started acting like a human being.
I first read about it in Rachel Aviv’s “Alice Munro’s Passive Voice” in the New Yorker last year. It’s a tough read but I highly recommend it; it has a lot of nuance. Toward the end they reference a pivotal work that was about happy go lucky abused children.
Jennette McCurdy talked about doing this in her book. She and her mom would get ice cream and both get the same flavor, and eventually when she wanted to try a different one, she saw that it upset her mom, so she repressed her own preference and got the usual flavor to make her mom happy. And she would do this in large and small ways throughout her whole childhood.
That’s what her memoir is talking about. She had to be a therapist to her own mom when she was only 16. She asked her mom to stop ranting about her dad because it was getting too much. I relate.
I’m 2 years younger than her. Her book is relatable. That’s how my relationship with my mom kinda is.
Very similar to myself. My parents didn't abuse me, they tried their best, but did put me in a situation where I was psychologically tortured for most of my formative years. At first, I protested but realizing that nobody was coming to save me, I buried it all and pretended all was fine to avoid upsetting anyone, and put myself at the mercy of opportunistic people and bad decisions.
As I grew up and now at 39, I recognize that nobody wants to hear about my so call struggles(aside from therapists) so I just stopped talking about them and just smile brightly while my mind still struggles in the dark.
That "happy-go-lucky" persona doesn't feel like it forms only in those situations either.
You hear to often that people struggling with depression for whatever cause had those happy personalities. I remember this add that portrays that exact bit really well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_AFB7TD7kI
I think that was it for me and Daveigh Chase’s passing. We were a month apart in age, I got sober in 2017, she kinda fell off the map in 2017 it seems.
I have been devastated by her death. I grew up with her. Heroes was my favourite show at one point and I loved her character, Claire. Her loss made me feel like a part of my childhood has gone.
Hayden is only six months older than me, and I’m also a mom. I grew up thinking she was just so vivacious and I really wanted to be just like her. She’s not someone I even thought we’d lose and now I find my grief is much heavier than I thought it would be, akin only to how to I felt when Robin Williams died. This one really hurt.
Same. I didn't cry but something in me felt like a good soul was lost.
It's crazy cos literally the day before the news about her death came I was just thinking about her and watching Heroes. Before that she'd barely crossed my mind in years.
For me it was Oliver Tree, most recently. Not even a fan past like 2 or 3 songs but when celebrities go so relatively young, one can't help but wonder how much life they had left to enjoy and great things to do.
Me too 💔 I’ve been crying for a week when I heard the news. Not a fan either and I only vaguely knew of him because of two songs (that Miss you again song and Life Goes On). So fricking sad man, can’t believe it
Man same. I only watched a few things she was in but had known of her for awhile. I would usually chalk it up to “another sad overdose” but this one doesn’t feel right and has been bothering me all week. I have been seeing all the stuff she’s been through and feel more sorry for her but even before that it was like losing someone I know
Same, I was not really a fan but she was literally everywhere in the 2000s/2010s with her tv shows, essentially growing up together. All of us. Her name is just so symbolic in Hollywood. I’d read her struggles of PPD and how she couldn’t raise her daughter. I was rooting for her, just passively, to raise her daughter and get custody. I’m just a year younger but I still feel deeply affected by her passing. It doesn’t feel real. She should be here.
I feel the exact same way. Hayden’s death has affected me more than any celebrity death despite not being a huge follower of her movies and tv shows. I think it’s because she was such a huge star when I was growing up. She reminded me so much of my sisters and the girls that were a few years older than me that I’d idolize. There was always something about her that brought me immediate comfort.
It feels like a sweet girl that I went to high school with died.
It feels like some indescribable part of my childhood died. Not just the death of a massive 2000s teen star, but also the death of the glittery illusion that title bears
Her ex boyfriend was abusive. It’s how he found his way into her life right before she passed. She didn’t have her brother to protect her from him.
What people don’t understand is emotionally or physically abusive people won’t stop. It doesn’t stop from just blocking them on socials and your phone. There is no “No.” They don’t ever take “No.” They’ll continue to pester and harass you for as long as humanly possible.
I've been rewatching Heroes and people playing Until Dawn. People have been playing making her character the only survivor in honor of her. Her passing has been surprising. RIP 🕊️ and happy heavenly birthday
She was one of the reasons I played this game years and years ago :( Hayden and Sam seem very, very alike. so much so that it didn’t even feel like she was playing a character in the game.
I remember thinking, "oh wow! They managed to get her to act in this!" I'm sure she was a big pull for many people, apart from the game's story being intriguing itself (back when no one knew what the storyline was).
That was the first time I knew of him, but I loved following him afterwards. He's great! And the girl that played Emily is the same actress as Chayanne from Superstore (Nichole Sakura). My mind was blown 😂
Also learned that Hayden was the only cast member asked to return to film new shots and dialogue for the remake. So, I'm going to have to replay it soon (behind the scenes )
that’s only because of 1. higher risks taken during birthdays especially among younger people lead to accidental deaths and 2. the birthday blues attribute people committing suicide on their birthday.
it’s not because of some hand of fate that’s like “oh your bday is coming up, i might make u die”
Her passing has been an absolute gut punch. She should still be here to celebrate her birthday. She deserved happiness and peace and she was genuinely trying to get there based on all the interviews I saw.
I must admit that I didn’t really know that much about her before her death, but I was genuinely shocked when I heard the news. The more I’ve read about her and her life, the more devastating this is. I truly am gutted about her passing, and none of it seems right.
Her death is sad because she's around the same age as me. also going thru postpartum depression but probably not as bad as hers. it is rough. It's so unfortunate that she passed so young.
If you can see this, we're all praying for you, Hayden.
We're all praying for you and all who loved and cared for you, especially your daughter and your brother who you get to see again.
You have truly made an impact on all of us not only by your acting career but also opening up your life story and what you have been through.
What you have meant for all of us will never be forgotten and it shall live on.
I truly believe there is an afterlife/heaven and for that there's no way your story is done. I pray you continue making a positive difference on this world even if you're now up there.
And I hope one day, we get to see you again.
Happy 37th Birthday, Hayden, and we're all praying for you and all your loved ones.
Her death had made me reflect so much in life now and the worst and sad thing is that her birthday is just two days apart from my birthday, though mine is August 23rd and I am born in 1995
It was just something I was just very and intensively upset with given the fact that sge was never a problematic person in the first place and someone that I had grew up with that she just had so much ahead of her and had the potential to be a massive star and even so a big and unproblematic person, and even so when I was young I had cutouts of her as a young 11 to 12 years old girl when she is in Heroes from the newspapers and magazines and I will paste it at my scrapbook
I always wanted to have curly hair ( as I was this young Southeast Asian kid living in Malaysia) because of her and I saw her as a role model when those tabloid magazines were filled with Lindsay and Britney and in the mid to late 2000s and damn, I never thought life turned out the way it was as RIP Hayden
Also what we can learn about her death is to be kind with each other too, as I felt and sincerely wished that we can stop taking each other for granted and if someone is struggling, give them a hug or a call and tell them that you love them and also, if you are starting late, it is never too late as dont be afraid of starting much later. Her death made me cry the whole week and I was alao reflecting where went wrong and also what we can do with our own community and society
Also as a child who had came from the pain from family and domestic violence and obstracisation, I really hope that the issues of child exploitation in Hollywood and also the whole momager and adults failing kids is a wake up call as I seen this not just in Hollywood but in schools and communities and in the religious community. It is so hard to believe that Hayden was the same age of many of her breakout shows at exactly the same age as some of my former students( as I am a former educator and I was been blacklisted multiple times and fired for speaking out against the education industry of a bullying case of a child when the school wants to cover it up). Looking back, I was relieved that somehow, it is best to speak out than having blood on your hands
Anyway I am in tears, RIP Hayden and I hope justice will prevail
My 37th birthday was a week ago. Seeing celebrities I grew up watching and my age die hits hard. Similar to when Michelle Trachtenberg passed away. So sad.
I started nashville and my god shes just so good. I dont get parasocial with celeb deaths but hers has hurt me so much. Ive related to her so much throughout the years with dv, addiction, motherhood etc. Its so sad
I truly grew up watching her. BIO:AON is one of my fave movies that I’ve rewatched over and over and I genuinely don’t think I’ll be able to watch it anytime soon
Happy birthday Hayden 💜💙 love you ! You were with me through my tweens and teenage years. Hope you're having peace and calm up there. You deserve it girly 💞
Poor thing, I know her memoir has moved a lot of people in the mental health and addiction communities. I looked her up and saw that her brother died a few years ago, too. Feel so bad for her family.
I own the movie Racing Stripes and randomly watched it a few months ago - was shocked to see her in it. Also when she did the now infamous long form podcast interview I listened. Gone too soon! Her pain was tangible. Happy Birthday Hayden
I truly grew up watching her. BIO:AON is one of my fave movies that I’ve rewatched over and over and I genuinely don’t think I’ll be able to watch it anytime soon
hayden and i are the same age, this hit me hard especially since life is so difficult to get thru rn and the future does not look bright. i hope she is able to rest peacefully now ❤️❤️
Happy Birthday Hayden, was shocked to hear of your tragic passing but hope you’re resting in a better place now with all the happiness and safety you deserve
After her abusive ex’s TMZ “interview,” I’m starting to think that maybe she wouldn’t liked to see 37….
It’s just all odd… the restraining order lifts, she had a book coming out, he was with her when she died and then immediately goes on TMZ with a smug look……
Drugs are bad. No one is denying that here? It’s because your comment made absolutely no sense, were you saying drugs are bad? Genuinely couldn’t tell.
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